Pandora's Little Pithos of Preteens
A HariPo fanfiction
Note: These characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. This was done for my Pandora's Little Box of Terrors challenge found in the HPFC. You can find the challenge here (just take out the spaces!): http :/ forum. fanfiction. net/ topic/ 44309/ 27638002/ 1/ Read, review, and enjoy! And check out and join the forum challenge!
Lucky Louis is a Weasley Kid
"Weasley!" "Weasley." "Weasley."
That's all he ever heard, damn it all.
Every waking hour, every sleeping hour. Day-mares, daydreams, nightmares, night-terrors –that name haunted Louis wherever he went, wherever he sent his mind. He couldn't send his mind far enough; every time, the shout of his surname brought him back to reality, back to the present.
Oh how he despised being a Weasley.
He used to be the good little boy his parents had expected of him. Soon enough, that mask waned and he would only be good for his Aunt Gabrielle and his sisters. Then his sisters only ever bothered him, so he only stayed nice for Aunt Gab. Then even she seemed too caught up in her own life. No, he didn't want all the focus on him. He just wished that everyone didn't focus so much on themselves.
That, and he hated everyone.
It probably stemmed from his loathing their selfishness, amongst other awful qualities. And there was plenty to loathe. His family was so bloody huge. So he would start from the top and work his way down. For Louis, no one was exempt from this list.
Grandpa Weasley loved his Muggle artifacts and trinkets. Grandmam Weasley was so busy dreaming that everything was perfect, that Uncle Fred hadn't died, that her pumpkin tarts would come out a little bit better than they used to finish.
See? Already the selfishness starts there.
Uncle Harry was too wrapped up in his Auror work; he also couldn't focus on just that –he still guest-taught at Hogwarts for Defense Against the Dark Arts every now-and-then. Aunt Ginny was too caught up in trying to run the perfect household, in trying to be just like her mother. Cousin James was a terrible flirt and he was absorbed in Quidditch. So what that he was an excellent Chaser? He never helped Louis practice his own Chaser skills. Cousin Albus wasn't much better; Al was forever caught in the nasty cycle of wondering if he'd chosen the right House (he'd gone with Slytherin, but he was the only snake in the whole family). Cousin Lily always tried to outdo Louis' sisters and their female cousins. Apparently Lily felt inadequate to them, despite having the best ratio of common sense and good looks.
Uncle Ron… Well, enough said. Ron was a bloody idiot. It never made sense for Aunt Hermione to marry him, but she'd done it anyway. And then they'd both taken up some position with the Ministry of Magic, Uncle Ron being an Auror and Aunt Hermione helping out in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Yeah, they sucked. Cousin Rose was too busy snogging her "forbidden" boyfriend, Scorpius Malfoy. Cousin Hugo… Well, he was too busy trying to stay out of everyone else's way. What use for a wallflower did Louis have?
Aunt Angelina and Uncle George –they could be summed up in one word: MISERY. Supposedly, Angelina had married George for real love and they'd bonded over the loss of Uncle Fred. Yeah, right. Aunt Angelina only married Uncle George for his face; he looked exactly like Fred, who happened to be Angelina's old flame. True love? Louis scoffed at it, especially in the case of these two. Cousins Fred and Roxanne were twins. Twins=trouble. Look at any family with twins. Uncle George and Uncle Fred constantly caused trouble in their Hogwarts days. Roxie and Freddie did the same in their time. Roxanne's boyfriend, Lorcan Scamander, was a twin, though he typically caused havoc with Rox and Fred. But when Lorcan and his brother, Lysander, got an idea in mind, Lysander was known to incite disorder (he was just rarely pinned for any of it).
Uncle Fred… Louis couldn't begrudge him much. Fred was dead, after all. Although, from what the young wizard had heard, Fred had been really full of himself, overly confident in his looks and always saying that he was just this bit better-looking than George…but whatever. Louis still had plenty more family to hate.
Aunt Audrey was nice…to a point. She was quite vapid, really. That wasn't a desirable quality in a person. Uncle Percy…sheesh, where to even start? He'd only redeemed himself in the Battle of Hogwarts anyway. And Percy hadn't changed much. He was a worse stickler for rules and regulations than Aunt Hermione. Cousin Molly was just like her father; Louis didn't even have to bother wasting breath on her. Cousin Lucy was a trouble-magnet. She never caused it, but she was always there when something blew up in someone's face (read chapter one for that explanation, Merlin). Obviously, Louis was not going anywhere near that girl.
Uncle Charlie. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Could the guy be any more of a closet furry? The guy wasn't just good with dragons –he was in love and OBSESSED with the beasts! Personally, it freaked Louis out that he was even remotely related to someone who preferred the company of creatures over people.
Finally, Louis came back to his side of the family. First, there was Great-Grandmere Delacour…self-righteous salope. Yep, French does come in handy sometimes. Salope means "bitch." She was waaay to in love with herself. It made Louis wonder if the Veela blood could work on its owner. If that was the case, then he's ready to rip his veins out now.
Monsieur Delacour (a.k.a, Grandpapa Delacour) was too busy with work. Louis didn't even know what he did. Grandmere Apple –yes, Apolline insisted on a sweet little nickname from her grandkids, surprisingly –was…ugh, so mawkish. Doting was fine and all, but she preferred Victoire and Dominique to him. After all, when was the last time you heard of a male Veela? Exactly. He wasn't unique to his grandmother; he was a freak.
Mum and Dad… Ah, yes, Bill and Fleur. Bill, like so many others mentioned, was very absorbed in his work. But he also doted on Fleur. Also, he fell for Victoire's tears every time something didn't go according to her plan. Did poor little Vicky break a nail? Well, have Daddy comfort her; he's the sop for the job. Fleur was seized by her disappointment that none of her children were as beautiful as her. That, and she, too, doted on Bill. It's one thing to see your parents still so in love. It's entirely another to see them tune out the rest of the world just for each other.
And then there were two.
Victoire was AWFUL. She was the epitome of self-centered. If she didn't get to bed on time or if she overslept, the whole house heard about it. If she saw what she thought was a wrinkle, break out the potions. If she saw a lurker lurking on her chin, then the whole day's plans were cancelled. If her hair didn't fall exactly in plan as she wanted it, then she hopped in the shower and redid her hair as she felt she needed in order to get the perfect coiffeur. And when Vic set her heart on something…well, by Merlin, get out of the line-of-fire.
Dominique was no better, merely on the opposite end of the scale. Dom thrust herself into all she did, in an effort to fill a void in herself. Maybe she was trying to be Victoire, maybe she wasn't. Whatever her reason, Dominique was just a shell of a girl. Louis felt that that was why she hooked up with Lysander when they were younger; she probably thought that Sander could complete her. As of today, Dominique is still an unsolved puzzle.
Louis looked at his whole family and he…he just felt one strong emotion: hatred. He hated them for how they acted, how they spoke, what they loved, what they hated, what they were… He thought a little harder, looked a little deeper, and his fury and spite burned like Fiendfyre.
He hated himself, too. He couldn't move past the fact that he didn't like the family he'd landed. He probably would never move past that fact.
Ah. He was passionate about something and focused clearly on himself. He was what he hated most: He was a true Weasley.
w00t! Three cheers for this. :P I actually love most of the characters listed, including Louis. This just happened to turn into a character-bashing escapade. I would appreciate it if you didn't claim I trashed the people here; it was meant to be purely Louis' look on them and it ended up in a pretty nice and dark revelation. This kind of Louis I plan on writing again, actually… Besides, as much as I love some of them, even I acknowledge that they have their bad points. I'm in love with Charlie, George, Bill, and James Sirius, after all! :D
So review! Thanks! Just 3 more terrors and then the story's done! XD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND FAVS AND ALERTS SO FAR! I LOVE THEM! XD (And hint: Review if you've favved and/or alerted –I want to hear from you, too!)
Thanks for Betaing as always, Morghen! I'm sure Florean will get that flavor in. For now… *Passes out Regal Reggie Rocky Road in a waffle cone!* And I won't force you to share, *lol*! :D