I had a lot of fun writing my other fiction, "Never Play Pranks in the SAS", so I decided to play around with something similar to that. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider


"I'm bored." Eagle complained.

Fox looked up from his book, "Go read something."

"I'm not in the mood for reading."

"Then go to the mess hall." Snake suggested, "See if L-unit has any good stories."

"I don't want to move."

"Don't you need to study what to do in an interrogation?" Cub asked.

"I already studied."

"Then study again." Wolf growled.

"But that's boring!"

"I don't care!" Wolf snapped back with a glare, "Just be quiet, because the rest of us are trying to relax!"

A few minutes of silence went by.

"I'm boooooooooored!"

"Eagle," Snake said in a strained voice.

"For the love of God," Fox groaned.

"Can't you just~" Cub began with gritted teeth.

"SHUT UP!" Wolf interrupted in a roar.

Eagle flinched, but proceeded to say, "But I'm bored!"

Fox set down his book with a slam, "Okay, what do you want to do?" Eagle thought for a few seconds, "Can we play a game?" Snake rubbed his temples, "What kind of game?"

Eagle thought again until saying eagerly, "How about Truth or Dare?"

"What are we, teenagers on a camping trip?" Wolf groaned. After a few seconds, he amended, "Well, Cub is the only teenager, but if you factor Eagle's immaturity with his IQ, he's should be about…fifteen."

"Let's lay down some rules though." Fox said firmly, "No daring people to run around naked, no daring people to do something in front of the sergeant, no daring people to do something that would get them injured, and no seeking revenge after the game if someone gives you an embarrassing dare. Agreed?" K-unit agreed to the terms with some reluctance.

Eagle then asked excitedly, "Snake, truth or dare?" Snake sighed heavily and replied, "Alright, truth."

"Have you ever intentionally hurt any of us when you're patching us up?"

"Yes, but only if one of you had pissed me off."

Wolf narrowed his eyes, "When my shoulder got cut, was that one of those times?" Snake leaned back against his headboard, "You can ask me that when it's your turn…Fox, truth or dare."

"…Dare."

"I dare you to…go to H-unit's hut, go inside, then jump out their window and come back here immediately without saying anything…and you have to whistle while you're in their place."

"I hate you." Fox growled as he strode out of their hut.


Falcon, Tiger, Panther, and Zebra sat quietly on their beds. It was a rare moment of downtime, and they were all enjoying it in silence. Two of them were reading books, and the other two were writing letters to their various loved ones.

Then the door opened.

They entire unit jumped up; expecting the sergeant to march in for a surprise room check to see if everything was in order. Instead, Fox strolled into the room whistling merrily. He went straight for the window, opened it up, and hopped outside.

H-unit stared at the now open window with their mouths open. After a full minute silence, Zebra asked in a tone of utter disbelief, "What the hell?"


Snake smirked at Fox as he strode back into their hut and sat back down on his bed. Fox sent a glare his way, and then asked, "Eagle, truth or dare?"

"Truth! Truth!" He shouted excitedly.

"Okay, umm…have you ever kissed a woman, and then the same woman hurt you physically?"

"Aww." Eagle groaned at the question. Snake raised an eyebrow, "You were the one who wanted to play in the first place, so be honest."

Eagle had a pouty face on as he explained, "Her name was Vicky. I was actually playing Truth or Dare with the guys in my college dorm room, and they dared me to kiss her…I couldn't sit down for hours afterwards once she kicked me…"

Everyone burst out laughing. Eagle waited until everyone quieted down (which was quiet awhile) until asking, "Cub, truth or dare?"

"Hmm…truth." Alex knew that it was just plain safer to go with truth when playing with these men.

"What mission has been the most painful?"

"You guys may know that I'm a spy, but my missions are classified."

Eagle folded his arms across his chest, "No way; you have to answer."

Alex shook his head, "Sorry. I signed the Official Secret Services Act. I'm not allowed to say a word to anyone." Fox leaned forward, "But you can tell us as much as you want as long as you don't reveal any names or organizations."

When Eagle shot him a questioning look, Fox explained, "I signed one of those too, but I know all the loop holes." Looking triumphant, Eagle turned back to Cub.

Cub sighed heavily, "Come on, don't make me answer this." Eagle didn't say anything, but a stern look made Cub think back on his missions. After a minute, he asked, "Physically or mentally?" *

Eagle looked bewildered, "Huh…well, I guess physically." Cub gave another heavy sigh and replied, "This one group of people got pissed at me and tried to kill me by shooting me, and I almost died, but I lived. Happy now?"

Snake looked concerned, "How badly were you injured?" Wolf laughed at the medic, "The question was which mission hurt the most: I'm going to take a guess and say it hurt pretty bad." But the leader also looked curious. He knew that Cub had quite a nasty fall during the Point Blanc mission, so he wondered what other missions could've been painful for the teen.

Cub interrupted all of their thoughts by asking, "Wolf, truth or dare."

"Dare." Wolf realized that he spoke without thinking it through. Cub rubbed his hands together gleefully. The rest of the unit perked up; seeing Wolf's mistake instantly.

"Okay, Wolf, your dare is…"


"I hate you all." Wolf spat out. Eagle was prancing around like a maniac; too excited to keep still. Fox and Snake were disappointed that they couldn't find any recording devices, but they too were looking forward to it. Cub still couldn't believe how daring he was being by giving Wolf this dare. It was like being able to stroll up to death himself and give him a kick in the groin without having any consequences.

Wolf was currently wearing tan pants, a crap load of colorful paints from the waist up, plus a headdress of feathers that Fox and Snake managed to salvage.*

Cub handed the SAS leader a cup of cold tea, "So you're going to run up to H-unit's hut, bang on the door, and whoever answers first, you're going to yell, "Tea time!" And throw the tea in that soldier's face, then disappear into the night like the Americans did in the American Rebellion. Got it?" *

"I got it." Wolf seethed. He couldn't believe this. Why on God's green Earth did he take part in this stupid game? Then the worst part was that he promised he wouldn't take revenge on whoever dared him! Well, at least he had so much paint on that nobody could recognize his face.

Still grumbling and swearing under his breath, Wolf set off at a speed walk to H-unit's hut. Eagle, Snake, Fox, and Cub followed at a distance; trying to hold in their laughter.

Wolf stopped in front of the door and looked back at his unit. They all urged him on with gestures. The leader sighed and pounded on the door with as much strength as he could with a single fist.


H-unit had only just stopped talking about Fox's odd entrance and exit when the door began rattling from whoever was pounding on it. They all jumped at the noise and looked at each other in confusion. Who was visiting them this late at night?

Expecting an emergency, Tiger ran to the door and yanked it open. Brown liquid was thrown in his face along with a bellow, "TEA TIME!"

When Tiger wiped his eyes clean, no one was in sight. But in the split second before he was blinded, he caught sight of a man dressed in pants, colorful paint littering his body from the waist up, and a headdress of feathers.

Tiger turned to his unit; looking for an explanation.

All three men shrugged, and Falcon proclaimed, "Well, I'm just glad it wasn't me."


K-unit broke out in hysterical laughter when they reached their cabin. Even Wolf (who was using a canteen full of water to get the paint off) was laughing at Tiger's total shock when the tea was thrown in his face.

Once they settled down (and once the pain as removed from Wolf) the game started up again.

"Snake, truth or dare." Wolf asked with a glint in his eyes.

Snake mulled it over for a few minutes before saying warily, "Truth."

"Did you intentionally hurt me when you were stitching up my shoulder from the obstacle course?" Wolf demanded.

Snake sighed, "While I was actually patching you up? No. But I only gave you half the pain meds I usually give because you made fun of the letter I wrote to my sister earlier that day." Wolf looked like he was about to murder, but he thought about before sighing, "Well, I guess I shouldn't have looked at that letter."

"Hmm…Eagle, truth or dare?" Snake questioned.

"Dare!"

"I dare you to tap on H-unit's window, and then duck down. When they open up the window, jump up and scream bloody murder. Then you come straight back here."

"…Meany-face."

"Why are we picking on H-unit so much?" Cub wondered out loud. Fox grinned, "Since we started with them, we might was well keep toying with them until we're finished."

Cub nodded in understanding, "That's sensible."


When H-unit heard the single knock on their window, they were a little more wary. Who knew what was going to jump out at them this time? It was Falcon who was brave enough to open up the window when his unit backed away.

But Falcon was smart.

As soon as the window was open, he jumped back to make sure nothing would hit him in the face like Tiger. Yet nothing popped out at him. Falcon turned to his unit for guidance, but they all shrugged.

"Maybe a bird ran into it." Panther suggested, "They do that sometimes." Zebra looked uneasy, "But it's nighttime. What kinds of birds are still out?"

"Then maybe it was a bat?" Panther guessed again. Tiger shrugged, "I don't know, but close the window; we don't want bugs getting in here."

Falcon (thinking there wasn't any danger) leaned forward to close the window. It was at that moment Eagle sprang up a literally screamed, "BLOODY MURDER!" right in Falcon's face.

Needless to say, the SAS soldier sprang backwards with a shout of surprise. His unit had no time to avoid him, so they all wound up on the floor while Eagle ran off; laughing manically back to his hut.


When Eagle returned to K-unit, he told them exactly what happened. Once again, they were all laughing at H-unit.

Eagle was the first to stop laughing when he yawned, "It's getting late. I'm going to sleep." At the mention of sleep, everyone else realized that they were growing tired as well. They all wished each other a goodnight, and promptly fell asleep; all of them wondering exactly what H-unit would say to them in the morning.


Morning and lunch passed without incident.

There was the usual hard training, of course, but K-unit couldn't stop thinking about their antics from the night before. H-unit hadn't paid them any attention all day, but every time the two units passed each other, Wolf, Fox, Snake, Eagle, and Cub could barely resist laughing.

It was dinner when it happened.

K-unit was simply talking about their training that day when the sergeant approached them with a file in his hands.

"Care to explain what happened last night?" He growled menacingly as he threw the papers onto the table.

Wolf opened up the file, and the rest of the unit leaned over his should to read it.

A few moments went by, and Eagle replied with a straight face, "We were practicing our stealth skills."

The sergeant's face turned a dark color, "If H-unit doesn't retract those complaints in twenty minutes, you'll all have a month's worth of cleanup duty." He stormed away without a backwards glance.

K-unit looked at each other, consulted briefly, and made a decision. They stood up and walked over to H-unit's table. Falcon, Tiger, Panther, and Zebra all looked up; expecting a stream of apologies.

Instead, Eagle asked with a grin, "Want to play Truth or Dare tonight?" Fox nodded his head towards the end of the mess hall. Turning around, H-unit saw that there was a new unit at Brecon Beacons.

Absolute total fresh meat noobs.

H-unit turned back to K-unit wearing grins.

"We're in."


The first astrict thingy is refering to when Fox and Snake pulled a prank that involved feathers (It's in my story, "Never Play Pranks in the SAS"). The next one is talking about the Bosten Tea Party during the American Revolution. My history teacher said that Great Britain refers to the Revolution as the "American Rebellion", since this setting is in Britain...you get the point. You know what? Give me flames or praise; I had a lot of fun writing this.