Okay so the multi-chapter has finally arrived yay! Thank you to my amazing Beta RedEnglishRose who I adore so darn much. She's absolutely amazing for putting up with me and my horrible grammer and short attention span lol. Thank you to Harrypassion for getting me started and stuck on this idea and being my guiding hand in this story...also thanks for the title! Okay so those are all my thank you's. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Read on my lovelies read on.
Disclaimer: I wish I did, oh how I wish I did.
I packed the last of my things into the cardboard box at my feet and pushed it into my closet to hide for later. I stared around my room, taking in the empty walls and faded carpeting. This would be one of the last times I would ever stand here and call this my room.
My eyes flickered to the digital clock on my bedside table, one thing I was leaving behind. I figured Seth could use it; the boy always did have trouble getting up in the morning. The neon red numbers read 7:08pm. The sky outside was a dusky blue, the kind just before it became midnight black. Well, I figured I might as well head down to the bonfire; Seth and our mother were probably already there now. I looked through my window and down to First Beach; I spotted the bonfire from here, the flames dancing brightly. I considered changing from my too baggy shorts and faded t-shirt but decided not to. It wasn't like I had anyone I needed to look pretty for anymore. I flinched as I thought of him for the briefest of seconds. I forced myself to push him to the back of my mind. I refused to cry tonight.
I arrived at the bonfire, fashionably late of course, not that anyone cared; no one wanted a bitch ruining their fun. The usual crowd was sitting on the logs surrounding the dancing flames, the only difference being my renegade pack of Jacob and Seth were here. Being two separate packs, we didn't mingle much anymore and it was obvious why. The air was slightly tense, clouded with the waves emanating from the two Alphas, Jacob and Sam, but I knew Jacob was determined not to start a fight. I didn't see why not: I wouldn't have minded seeing Sam ripped too shreds but Jacob just wanted to get back to his little mutant half-vamp imprint without violence.
It seemed everyone had someone but me. All the wolves and their imprints snuggled on logs together. I pointedly avoided the corner where Sam and Emily sat, instead opting to sit by Embry, the only one other than Seth and I who hadn't imprinted. My usual glare wasn't in place tonight; I had an announcement to make and I didn't want my bad mood getting in the way of it.
I sat quietly, and I'm proud to say I didn't make one snide comment, letting the festivities and food go on around me. I refused any food offered to me and didn't laugh at anyone's stories. No one noticed; this was typical Leah bonfire behavior but if they had bothered to, they would have noticed my lack of a glare. I waited until everyone was full and settled, the conversation a low hum of mixing voices. Then I stood up and all heads turned to me, I kept my back to their corner. I didn't think I could risk seeing them, knowing it would be the last time I would see him, but really, it was be for the better.
"Hey, everyone," I started quietly, and I knew everyone would be shocked by my lack of attitude, but what I was about to say was better done without attitude. "So I've been thinking and I've already talked to Jake about this since he's my Alpha." He nodded in my direction, being the only one with a clue as to what was going on. "I think it's time…I left La Push. Moved from here and started a new life somewhere else. I know I don't really have to let anyone here know, since I'm not part of this pack anymore but I felt I should still let you guys know anyway." I sat down, my speech finished. I still didn't spare a glance for their corner. I didn't care what their reaction was as they'd ruined my life enough already.
"Oh Leah," my mother sighed. I smiled at her sadly, knowing she understood. My mother had always gotten me completely that way.
"Hey, how did you and Jacob manage to keep it from me that you're leaving?" Seth asked. He had been sure he would have heard when the three of us phased. I laughed and reached over to ruffle his hair. Everyone went back to their conversations afterward, accepting it, knowing the only person's permission I really needed was Jacob's. Even if anyone here wanted to stop me, they couldn't.
I stood up, not saying anything about my intention to take a walk; no one would care, and headed away from the bonfire. I made it a good distance from the bonfire before I heard someone calling my name. It was Jacob; I stopped and waited for him.
"Hey," he said when he finally caught up to me.
"Hey. Isn't it about time you headed back to your little imprint?" I teased. The thing was still just a kid but had she him wrapped around her little finger.
"Yeah, actually I'm just about to head over there now, but I just wanted to say goodbye. You've been a great help with everything, and if things had gone as originally planned and me and you had run away together, it would have been alright having you in my head," he said, pulling me into a hug.
"Thanks, Jake," I said. At least someone other than my family would miss me.
"You can come back to the pack anytime you want." I smiled at the offer and pulled from his grasp. I didn't think that would be necessary, but I appreciated the offer all the same. I nodded and he smiled a final time before leaving, heading to the woods to phase and go back to the Cullens.
I grudgingly had to admit I was glad Sam had let us all come back onto La Push land when necessary, even though we weren't a part of his pack anymore. I sure didn't want to keep sleeping in the woods and this meant Seth and I actually got to see our mother and sleep in our own beds. Although, after the almost war against the Volturi a while back, it made sense that he would allow us. I sighed and turned around, continuing my walk down the beach.
The bonfire was far behind now, a dim light that flickered and danced in the distance. I skirted around several boulders by the edge of the water, my feet sinking in the wet sand and then I couldn't see the bonfire at all anymore, the giant rocks blocking my view. I kept walking. I could see the forest ahead and considered phasing, but decided not to. I didn't think Jacob had reached the Cullens and phased back yet, and I didn't feel like sharing my thoughts. I took a seat by one of the rocks, resting my back against it and pulling my knees to my chest. I tilted my head back against the rock and stared up at the sky. The moon was full and bright, throwing light all around so that everything was visible in the glow. I closed my eyes, listening to the waves crashing and the wind rushing through the leaves in the forest. It would have been peaceful if I hadn't found myself thinking of Sam. I hated him. I hated him with everything I had in me but I was sad too, because I realized that leaving finalized the fact that he really wasn't ever going to be mine again. I felt a tear slip from my closed lids and I hurriedly brushed it away. I didn't want to cry over him anymore.
I heard movement on the other side of the boulders and instantly snapped to attention. I jumped up from my seat and faced the part I'd come in through. The person came from the shadows and I snorted and rolled my eyes. Speak of the devil.
"What do you want, Sam?" I asked, my voice dripping with venom.
"Hey, Leah….I just…wanted to talk." He seemed uneasy and I smirked at his discomfort.
"So?" He stared at me blankly. "Talk," I snapped, "I have better things to do than stand here with you all night." I coated the 'you' with disgust, making it known that his presence was the last thing I wanted. He sighed and dropped his shoulders.
"Leah, how many times am I going to have to say sorry for imprinting, I did-"
"When you mean it!" I hissed. "When you can genuinely say you're sorry you met Emily."
"I can't say that; she's my imprint. I love her, Lee-Lee," he said. I charged at him with a growl, my body trembling as I fought not to phase. I swung my hand back and slapped him.
"Don't you ever call me that again. Ever, do you hear me Sam Uley? I'll never be your Lee-Lee again." He froze in the aftermath of my slap and outburst. My chest was heaving from my anger and the palm of my hand stung but I ignored it. He had no right to call me that and he knew it, he knew I hated it when he did anything that reminded me of what we used to be. I turned from him, ready to run into the forest and phase. I needed to run to let off some of the anger I had in me, and anything to get away from Sam. I was dangerously close to tears but I refused to show them in front of him. Never him; my pride was too strong for that. I was just within the shadow of the trees when he grabbed me. Before I could react he pinned my body to a nearby tree, my hands over my head and his fingers around my wrists.
"Let me go, you asshole!" I screamed, fighting against him. I may have been a wolf but so was he and he was still stronger than me. I tried raising my knee to hit him where the sun don't shine but he obviously anticipated it, using his own legs to keep mine in place.
"No, Leah, it's your turn to listen to me. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry you're still suffering, but I'm tired of you blaming me. You think I wanted to imprint? You have no idea how wrong you are. I loved you. I... I..." he hesitated. "I still do," he finished softly and I stopped fighting. I was sure my ears had to be deceiving me, they had to. He didn't love me, he loved Emily obviously more than he loved me or he would have imprinted with me.
"Don't play these fucking games with me, Sam," I hissed.
"I'm not," he answered and then he was kissing me. I fought against him again, this was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Then why the hell did it feel so right? I stopped fighting, kissing him back, letting him snake his tongue into my mouth, tasting him. God, how I had missed this. I knew right then I wasn't going to stop him. I was going to let this go as far as he took it; I needed this. I was leaving and I needed this, I needed him one last time. I moaned and arched my body into his. I didn't know when he had let my hands go but they were free now and I locked them at the nape of his neck. I felt his own hands around my waist and I tightened my hold on him.
He backed us from the tree and broke the kiss, laying me on the damp forest ground before following me down. He attacked my neck, peppering it with nips and licks and I tilted my head allowing him easier access. I let him do that for a while before I got impatient. He always did love my neck when we were together. He said it was his favorite part of me, but now I wanted more. I sat up and he sat back staring at me, his eyes confused and clouded with lust. I lifted my shirt over my head and threw it to the side. His breath hitched for a moment, his eyes falling to my chest: I wasn't wearing a bra. I didn't very often anymore as it's a hassle when you're shape shifting all the time. Now he was staring at my breasts and I hadn't felt this desired in so long. I knew the other guys sometimes caught glimpses of me in the few seconds before I phased and I was sure I'd heard a raunchy thought or two, but they never stared at me the way Sam was now. I raised a hand to one of my breasts keeping my eyes locked on him. I pulled at a nipple lightly and moaned.
"Sam," I breathed, and it was all he needed before he was on me again, this time focusing on my chest, and it all felt so right: The way he pulled at my nipples lightly with his teeth, and kissed down my stomach, the way he reacted when I ran my hand down his chest and let his name escape my lips in breathy moans, the way our naked bodies felt pressed against each other inch for inch, and when he was finally inside of me, moving in that slow steady rhythm that was both old and new for us. Nothing had ever felt more right. I was sure that somewhere, some perfect balance had been met and I wanted to hold on to it forever. My body thought otherwise though, and I could feel myself right at the edge. My hips thrust up against his, meeting him and he attached his lips to my neck again, sucking at the pulse point.
"Leah," he groaned and the feel of his breath against my neck and the way he was swelling inside of me, filling me completely, was too much. I came apart with a scream, digging my nails into his back, and arching into him. He came moments later, pulsing inside of me, holding himself perfectly still over me until he was finished. Then he collapsed against me, burying his face at the valley between my breasts. We lay like that for a while, both catching our breaths, then he rolled off of me and immediately I missed his weight.
I watched as he stood up and began dressing before I followed his lead. Once I was fully clothed I went and stood at the edge of the shore letting the waves wash up to my ankles. I heard him a little behind me but I kept my gaze focused on the black water ahead of me. He sighed and took several steps toward me; I spun and held up my hands keeping him at a distance. I knew our stolen moment was over, I could see it his eyes. They flashed with hurt but he froze at my gesture to keep him away.
"I'm sorry, Leah, but I have to go before…" he hesitated. He didn't want to say Emily's name here in front of me. I understood; he felt it would ruin the moment and I agreed, I didn't want that, but it was too late. She was already here with us, not in person but she was here. She was what kept us from each other and she couldn't just be ignored.
"It's okay, Sam, I get it. You can go," I whispered, smiling at him sadly. His face flashed regret as he turned and walked away and I went back to sitting against my rock, my knees hugged to my chest.
I left La Push early the next morning, when the sky was a pale blue and before the sun had really risen. No one knew when I left, even mom and Seth were still asleep and I figured it was for the better. I was never one for teary goodbyes. As I drove out of La Push I could swear I saw a black shadow running in the trees beside my car, but I never turned my head to check, and when I passed the treaty line, the black shadow fell back. I'd never question who it was but I'd always know.
"Well, when was the last time you…" she paused and my eyes snapped back to her. She made a swift jerking motion with her hips and I laughed. She cracked her own grin and gave me a pointed look.
"Are you trying to suggest that I'm…pregnant?"
Okay first chapter down. What did you guys think? I have several chapter already written the more reviews I get the faster I'll post...*hint,hint*. I'm hoping for at least seven before the next chapter goes up, I have cookies and I'm willing to share! REVIEW!