Disclaimer: No, sadly I do not own Teen Titans.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog belongs to Joss Whedon
Rocky Horror Picture Show by whoever the hell did it.
A/N: Um...I don't even know. This was written late at night while I was writing "Entrapment."I'm really good at writing serious stuff, so I wanted to try something funny. I will never be as funny as the brilliant (and mostly harmless) Slinkers on DeviantArt. If you haven't read Slinkers, then go to (her?) profile on DA and read (her?) hilarious Apprentice comics.
"Robin," Cyborg said, shaking Robin's shoulder. "Robin, wake up."
Robin awoke, blinked his eyes slowly, and gazed at Cyborg with weary eyes. What could possibly be going on now?
"What? It's three in the morning?"
"Slade?" Robin grumbled and forced himself out of bed. "What does he want at effin' three in the morning?"
The night before they had kicked Slade's butt. The memories of his apprenticeship were still fresh on his mind. Robin and Cyborg walked to the common room.
Sure enough, Slade's face was on the giant computer screen in the main room. The other Titans had been roused from bed and looked none too happy about it. Robin walked up to the computer and put his best snarl on his face.
"What do you want Slade?" he demanded. "What are you planning now?"
"Robin," Slade sang, stopping to hiccup. "There you are, Robin. I really, really want to talk to you."
Slade swore as he knocked his webcam down to the floor. Slade's steel-toed boot filled the screen as the Titans exchanged confused glances. The picture shook as Slade put the camera back up.
"What are you planning?"
"Me?" Slade placed his hands on his chest. "I'm not planning anything. I just wanted to talk to you 'cause we're so very much alike."
The mercenary's words slurred. Robin straightened and pursed his lips as he realized what was going on.
"Slade, are you drunk?"
Robin didn't know what to say. He had an urge to turn off the TV and go back to bed, yet he had a strong desire to see how this would play out.
"Dude," Beast Boy said, his eyes widening. "We've been drunk dialed."
Slade opened another beer, tipped his head backwards, and poured the liquid through the vent holes in his mask.
"I just wanna say that I really miss you here in the haunt. Come back as my apprentice."
"Why not? Is it because you didn't like my music?" Slade tapped the webcam with a finger. "Admit it, Robin: you miss me."
"No, I don't."
"Do you know what my greatest ambition is, Robin?"
"To join the Evil League of Evil. Did you know that my plan to take you on as an apprentice was in fact a plot to join the League? Bad Horse was all like 'I bet you couldn't take the Batman's sidekick on as an apprentice' and I was all like 'yeah I can!' God, Robin, you gotta come back before Bad Horse finds out!"
The man just kept talking. Robin put his hands over his face in exasperation. He almost wanted the old Slade back. The other Titans, however, were cracking up. Even Raven had a small smile on her face.
"Dude, are we recording this?" Beast Boy asked. "This is so going on YouTube!"
"Robin, for all those hours you worked for me, you could definitely get into the Henchmen's Union! I'll write a letter of recommendation for you!"
"I don't want to join the Henchmen's Union. Now if you don't have anything important to s-"
"But you know what I miss the most?" Slade asked, interrupting Robin. "Karokee. Addie hates me and never returns my calls, Joseph can't talk anyway, and Wintergreen will NEVER sing with me! When you were around I could FINALLY make someone sing the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrackwith me. God, it's such a beautiful movie…"
"Please, Robin, what is this karokee of which Slade speaks of?" Starfire asked. "It is some sort of evil device, is it not?"
"Yeah, if the person singing has the voice of a dying cat," Cyborg said, sniggering. "Did Slade really make you sing karokee?"
"What? No. He's drunk. Don't believe anything a drunk sa—"
A video popped up on screen. Music blared loudly as Robin stood shock still in the center of the room as Slade danced around him. Robin crossed his arms across his chest.
"Slade, I don't want to do this—"
"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAAINNNNNN! DAMMIT ROBIN! SING ALONG AND DANCE OR I WILL DESTROY YOUR FRIENDS!"
Robin started dancing as soon as he saw the controller in Slade's hand. Together they danced to the Time Warp in perfect unison as Robin sang along hoarsely.
"BUT IT'S THE PELVIC THRUST! THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSAN-AN-AN-ANE! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"
The screen went blank as Robin turned off the television. The others stared at Robin, who was trying to hide his embarrassment with a steady frown.
Robin turned with a flutter of his cape, intending to go back to bed and pretend this had just been a bad dream.
"This never happened."