A/N Written on live journal earlier in the year for glee_fest! My prompt was: 357. But I'm A Cheerleader AU; Quinn/Rachel, Puck/Kurt, Kurt/Finn, Puck/Rachel (any pairing goes or just gen) most of the glee club is at True Directions for some AU reason except Rachel The Gay Activist, whose dads give shelter to kids who run away from camp. Bonus points if one or more of them is not even gay in the slightest and for Sue and Sandy (hilariously) running True Directions.

I haven't edited it since then, but I figured it might be nice to have this story up here.

If you have no idea what But I'm a Cheerleader is, it doesn't matter. It's just a hilarious movie about a straight camp. No knowledge of the movie is required to enjoy this story.

Quinn really didn't think she would end up here. For Pete's sake- never Christ, and never mind who Pete was- Quinn Fabray was a cheerleader. The Good Lord forbid that occasionally listening to Tegan & Sara and having a Megan Fox poster in her room were such crimes. Transformers was a perfectly valid movie for a perfectly straight girl to enjoy with her perfectly masculine boyfriend. Karofsky was the jock that the head cheerleader was supposed to date. Unfortunately, he was not the captain of the football team, and simply a hockey player. If Karofsky had been the football captain, maybe Quinn's life would have been perfect enough so as not to get sent to this awful "True Directions" straight camp. And here she was, standing by the tackiest sign that she had ever seen with no idea what to do.

Quite possibly the butchest self-proclaimed straight woman Quinn had ever seen was barking at a terrified-looking boy who was about as large as Frankenstein. The crazy-looking lady yelled something at him like, "You think this is hard? Try wrangling with a snake and putting it in its place! That's hard! Tough cookies, Hudson!" Crazy Lady needlessly blew her whistle in the boy's ear (he cringed noticabely), turned, and suddenly yelled, "Fabray!" Thus, the Hudson boy was temporarily deaf in both ears.

Apparently, Quinn was being addressed by this terrifying woman. She thought it unwise to mess with her, and hastily walked towards her. Resisting the urge to salute, the blonde cheerleader stayed silent and looked up at the surprisingly tall woman with the unnecessary whistle on a lanyard around her neck.

With a confident air, Crazy Lady addressed a spot somewhere beyond Quinn's right shoulder. "Fabray, my name is Sue Sylvester, and I am co-founder of this marvelous retreat. You can call me Ms. Sylvester or Ms. Sylvester. Do you know what that means?"

"No, Ms. Sylvester," replied Quinn, rather unimpressed with the woman.

"Of course you wouldn't know," Sue said, now appearing to speak to somebody to Quinn's left. "It means that you have very few choices here. It's either my way or the gay-way, Fabray."

The Hudson boy, ears still ringing some, let out an involuntary laugh. Quinn had an idea that the laugh had to do with ridiculous rhyming on Ms. Sylvester's part. If she had not had so much self-discipline from years of practice, she might have slipped too.

"I understand, Ms. Sylvester," Quinn answered, hoping this was what Sue wanted to hear.

Sue nodded and finally zeroed her gaze in on Quinn's eyes. "Are you a homosexual, Fabray?"

Quinn was taken aback by the direct question. "I- I'm a Christian, ma'am. N-no."

Turning her head to look over her own right shoulder, Sue rambled, "Fabray, if you're here, you're gay, and that's no way to stay. The first step is admitting it. Now, go to those dorms, and no homosexual activity of any sort. I know you lesbians all too well. If there's any funny business, just know that I have eyes everywhere. Moles, you might call them. The walls have eyes. If you'd been in the war like I have, you'd know this."

"You were in the war?" asked Quinn.

Proudly, Sue placed her hands on her hips. "Of course I was in the war. Marines. Honorable discharge… Oh, you little lezzie, getting me side-tracked. You'll find your uniform on your bed. Hudson here can show you around, since the other monsters are probably rabbiting somewhere. I have things to do. You shall meet at the dining hall at 18:00 sharp. Dismissed!"
Sue stalked off, leaving Quinn and Finn alone.

"Hi, I'm Hudso- erm, Finn. Finn Hudson. Sorry. Ms. Sylvester gives me the willies."

Quinn nodded slowly, surveying the boy. He looked built, probably good boyfriend material. Maybe if he was a football player… "Quinn Fabray, and I'm not gay."

Finn looked her up and down. With what was probably a thoughtful expression- it looked a bit constipated- he said laughing (only partially at the rhyme), "Right."

Offended, Quinn puffed out her cheeks, but then remembered to keep her cool. "So, erm you're a 'mo? You, you know, look pretty strong, Finn."

Finn leaned in and mumbled, "Can you keep a secret?" Before Quinn could say anything, he leaned in and whispered enthusiastically, "I have a super-secret boyfriend here. I'll introduce you to him at dinner. Or after dinner. We have something planned."

He pulled away and directed Quinn to the girls' cabin. After explaining the various rules of camp, they had reached their destination. Finn looked at his feet and said bashfully, "I, um, am not allowed in here."

"That's stupid," said Quinn. "If Sylvester wanted us to procreate or whatever, shouldn't she put guys and girls together?"

Finn looked rather impressed with the idea. "Huh. Never thought of that. But that's not really Ms. Sylvester's department. Mr. Ryerson's more into the cabins and homey stuff like that."

Quinn remembered Ms. Sylvester mentioning something about uniforms, and realized that Finn was wearing a truly awful blue outfit. The shorts were making the blonde ridiculously uncomfortable, and she did not think she could take it if the girls were wearing shorts as skimpy as Finn's. "It's, um, been nice meeting you Finn. Thank you for all of your help."

If Quinn thought that Ms. Sylvester was weird and terrifying, then the cabin was absolutely nightmarish. There was Pepto-Bismol pink everywhere, and countless posters of 50's women playing the "good housewife" role. Quinn wanted to be sick. Sure, she was a girly cheerleader, but she also pretty much ran the school. Further, she was the one setting the limitations on her relationship with Karofsky. Independence was something that she valued, and these horribly outdated posters made her mad.

Quinn's anger at the posters was interrupted by a taller blonde girl sauntering over, saying, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Um, moving in?" Quinn said, relieved to see that the girls' uniforms included skirts that were a little longer than the boys' shorts. There would be little temptat- Temptation? No, not temptation. Anything but that.

"Oh. That's nice. I'm Brittany. Ms. Sylvester said that we might be getting a new person, but didn't say that she would be pretty." Brittany tilted her head to the side, but did not say anything further.

"Britt," said a new, exasperated voice. A pretty Latina came out from a door that Quinn presumed to be the bathroom. "Remember what I told you about talking to girls?"

Watching the Latina snake an arm around Brittany's waist, Quinn distractedly said, "Hi, I'm Quinn."

"Santana. You've met my… friend, Brittany. On your left is Mercedes, our diva. Behind me is Tina, who claims straightness when Sue and Sandy aren't around. Whatever. Obviously yours is the bed on your right without sheets. Don't mess with me, and everything will be cool."

Quinn nodded. This was not high school, and she was not in charge at this place. For maybe a week, she could deal with that.

At 6:00 PM (Quinn hated military time), all of the girls made the trek up to the dining hall. Calling the building a "dining hall" was quite the overstatement. Pretty much, the dining hall was a glorified tent with cheap collapsible picnic tables and mediocre foodstuffs bought in bulk.

Quinn sat down at a table with Tina, Finn, and two other guys. The blonde's new best friend was apparently Finn, so he cheerfully introduced Quinn to Kurt and Artie. "He's the secret," Finn whispered with an obvious wink.

"So, what are you in for?" Kurt asked Quinn. His voice was abnormally high-pitched for a boy, and he alone of the campers had accessorized his uniform. Sandy Ryerson, whom Quinn had heard mentioned several times as Sue's co-founder/husband, had already come over to the table and complimented Kurt on his fabulously coordinated undershirt.

Quinn sighed, not quite relishing the retelling. "My parents think I'm a lesbian, but I can't be. For Pete's sake, I am a cheerleader and I have a boyfriend! Why doesn't anybody believe me?"

Kurt and Finn shared a knowing glance. Finn sighed, and Kurt said, "Quinn, you're looking at Santana's arse."

Turning bright scarlet, Quinn decided that the attention needed to be diverted elsewhere. "Artie, why are you here?"

The wheelchair-bound kid smirked and replied, "My parents caught me looking at guy on guy porn on the computer." He looked at Tina, "You know, I do have full use of my penis, so it's all good."

Tina's eyes just about bulged out of her head.

"Quinn, wake up!"

The blonde groaned and sat up. "Is it morning already?"

Brittany shook her head and smiled down at Quinn. "C'mon sleepy-head. Santana says we're going to the special place again, 'cause Finn said you could come along."

Quinn did recall Finn mentioning something about something after dinner. Or something. "Sneaking out?"

Mercedes from across the room hissed, "C'mon, girl, just get changed and let's go!"

Noticing that everyone was slipping into (certainly) non-uniform attire, Quinn took the hint and quickly picked an outfit that she would wear if she went to a casual party. Santana had to give everyone the once-over, and deemed everyone's outfits to be acceptable. Tina did look entirely thrilled to be going for some reason, and her blue streaks appeared to dim with her mood.

Santana was apparently part den mother and part badass-that-you-don't-mess-with. Trying to keep that rough edge to her tone, she ushered the girls out through the rather enormous bathroom window without great injury. Nursing a skinned knee through her now "stylishly"-shredded leggings, Quinn followed Santana through the woods. They met the guys, and Quinn found herself shoved into a large- but not large enough for comfort- truck next to a guy with a mohawk.

"So, who're you, and what's your story?" Quinn asked, figuring she should get to know everyone well enough to form alliances.

"Noah Puckerman. Puck, to you," Puck answered casually. "Girlfriend suspected I was gay after enjoying chick flicks and commenting too often on male celebs. I neither deny nor affirm this."

"Uh-huh," said Quinn, deciding that Puck was not good boyfriend material because his mohawk was too weird for her parents' liking. "So what's the deal with the guys? I know Finn, Kurt, Artie, and you. How 'bout Mr. Silent and that Other Asian in the front seat? What's their deal?"

Puck knew that he was being used for information. He could deal with that. "Matt and Mike. Mike usually speaks for both of them. Says some crazy anti-gay stabbed Matt's throat and then outed him. Lucky that knife only got his vocal chords, but he's decidedly mute. Mike got caught with his boyfriend back home."

Matt's story freaked Quinn out a little, and she just knew that Puck was being truthful about it. It was something about his tone. "Oh man. One more thing, and I'll let you be, Puck." She hushed her voice. "Santana and Brittany?"

Puck murmured, "Fuck buddies. Santana is Sylvester's mole, and doesn't have to tell on herself. Everyone likes Brit, but San doesn't love her like that. Just the sex. She'll flirt with anyone."

Raising her eyebrows, conservatively-raised Quinn decided that Brittany and Santana's sexual relationship was almost as disturbing as Matt's story. This was definitely a weird camp.

"We're here!" Finn announced, gripping Kurt's wrist in excitement.

Everyone shifted about and managed to get out of the cramped truck and onto the street sidewalk. All was well, but Quinn had no idea where the heck they were. Puck seemed to realize this, and tapped her on the shoulder.

"We're at the only gay club in Lima. The Berrys own it."

Assuming these Berrys were people and not fruits, Quinn inquired, "Berrys? Who are they?"

"They take in runaways and give us release. Mm, there's Declan, John, and their daughter Rachel."

Kurt piped in, "You'll love Declan and John, but Rachel can be a pain in the you-know-where when she wants to be. Otherwise, they're just terrific."

Quinn was not expecting much of Rachel Berry when they entered the club, as Artie, Mike (and Matt), and Mercedes all had not-so-nice things to say about the girl. Only Finn had anything nice to say: "She doesn't hate gay people". What she was not expecting was for Rachel to be so… hot. When she entered the club, a marvelous voice filled her ears, and she saw a gorgeous petite brunette girl just about Quinn's own age singing on stage with a good live band. Of course, Quinn did not know who the girl on stage was, and only learned it was the dreaded Rachel when Tina noticed her staring and informed her of this fact.

"I'm not staring!"

"S-suit y-yourself," Tina stammered.

The blonde's gaze was transfixed on the fabulous singer as she finished her song and shouted something about "fighting the power". That was until she felt a foreign body rub against her from behind. Her field of vision picked up on the dark brown hair, and for one crazy moment Quinn thought it was Rachel grinding up against her. But that was ridiculous; Rachel was on stage.

A murmur in her ear corrected this mistake, "Hey babe. You're mine tonight. Know you want it." Santana.

As usual, Quinn was going to deny her gayness, but then Santana was touching her all over in the most unfamiliar ways. Hips to waist to breast to that chilly touch on her neck… She shuddered and ground into the other girl's crotch. Santana was very touchy, which was uncomfortable in public. And Quinn felt really bad for Brittany, whom she noticed was distracted by her own reflection in the well-polished piano. After only a minute and a half or so, Quinn stepped forward and turned to Santana.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I'm not the one for you. Brittany…"

"She gets it, Fabray. Knows that I like her a lot, but I'm not one for settling. If you can't get it, well, there're fifty other girls here who want me far more than you do. My public awaits me."

Shaking her head, Quinn watched her find some fun with another girl. Some people. Really.

Everyone seemed to be coming at her from behind, and she felt an unexpected tap on her shoulder. She turned around and it was Rachel Berry. Oh my gosh. Quinn was not supposed to be thinking about girls that way. She had Karofsky. Yeah.

Quinn had stupid Karofsky who had suspected she was a lesbian and conspired with her parents to pretty much kidnap her and drop her off at this camp.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry! You must be the new girl at True Directions. You know, I spent a couple days there once, scoping it out. Man, that Sue and Sandy are awful. It's so obvious they're both covering for each other because I saw Sandy reading this-"

Now that she knew exactly what Kurt and the others meant, Quinn cut in, "Nice to meet you, Rachel. I'm Quinn Fabray. That was you up there singing, wasn't it?"

"Oh, yes! My gay dads own this bar, and I sing here almost every night I can. I want to be on Broadway some day and use my influence to become a prominent gay activist. What about you?"

Apparently Rachel did know how to cut herself off sometimes. "I don't know. I've just got to get out of here and actually enjoy my summer break first. And I'm not gay. Really."

Rachel smiled. "Cool. Hey, I've got to stock some stuff in the back right now, but I might be back later, all right?"

Drunk. Quinn was really freaking drunk. It was probably one in the morning, and she was about ready to go to sleep on the bar's counter. The night was hazing past her eyes and then Rachel was next to her, only a little tipsy, explaining the naturalness of sexuality or something. They had chatted easily throughout the night, and Quinn was surprised to have enjoyed the conversations. A lot. Feeling ludicrously daring, she grabbed Rachel by the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss. Beneath the blonde, the brunette squirmed a little, but did not pull away until Quinn was finished.

Had she- What the- Oh, shit. "Ohman, I'm sorry, Rach. I- I- I…"

Rachel's darker countenance managed to betray a good deal of red. "I have to go, Quinn." The smaller girl pressed her lips together and then walked away. Quinn was forced to dejectedly watch her go and talk to Puck, of all people.

Since everyone in this stupid town was about surprises, it actually did not shock Quinn so much when Mike and Matt (both of whom she had spent some time with earlier in the night) slid onto the stools on either side of her. She really was not in the mood for talking much, especially after witnessing a passionate make-out session between Finn and Kurt. Matt put a hand to cover Quinn's, and Mike said, "What's the matter, chica?"

She did not have the nerve to tell the boy he was not Hispanic. "I'm a homosexual, aren't I?"

Both boys nodded simultaneously. Mike said, "First step is admitting it. We saw you and Rachel. Matt's not sure 'bout her, if she's one of us."

Tears were about to come to Quinn's eyes, but she urged herself to remain steadfast. "One of us… I really am one of you. I'm s'posed to be perfect, guys. Like, the head cheerleader with the jock boyfriend 'nd the perfect life. Fuck."

Matt pulled out a pen from nowhere and scribbled on one of the bar napkins: "FML". Mike and Quinn both laughed.

The funny moment was interrupted by Kurt and Finn coming over to join them. Kurt had a determined look on his effeminate face, and Finn appeared rather worried. Crossing his arms over his fabulous Marc Jacobs jacket, Kurt announced, "I am not going to stay at True Directions. I do not care what my dad thinks anymore."

"No, no! Kurt, don't leave me there! I can't let my mom down!"

"You are already letting her down by staying with me, Finn. We can't be together, except for when you come into town."

Finn grabbed his boyfriend's hand. "I can't leave the camp. I- I can't."

"I shall stay with Declan and John. We already discussed this. I leave tomorrow night."

Matt exhaled dramatically and circled his "FML". Mike nodded in agreement. "Eventful five minutes."

First thing in the morning, even before breakfast, all of the kids at True Directions were called into "Circle Time". The name reminded Quinn of children, but she kept herself in check. One did not mess with Sandy Ryerson's labels for events. And plus, she was kind of hung-over and did not feel like talking unless it was necessary.

"All right, everybody! Aren't you all excited for another super circling of Circle Time?" His enthusiasm was meant with incoherent mumbles. "Terrific! Who would like to go first?" Nobody raised their hands. "Tina, why don't you go first today? So…! What is your root?"

Tina looked distressed. "I-I'm n-n-not a l-lesbian, M-mister Ryerson."

Sue tut-tutted and marked some notes onto her mysterious clipboard. With great alarm, Tina hurriedly amended her words.

"I know, I know. St-step one. I am Tina C-cohen Chang and I am a… homosexual."

Sandy clapped his hands gleefully. "Very good, Tina! And minimal prompting needed! Step one is admitting you're a homosexual, you know! And how about your root?"

Every few days, Tina ended up going through this. Santana had mentioned something about the last Circle Day several days ago, and Quinn only connected the comment and her current situation. Quinn also noted the rehearsed tone (even through the stutters) in which Tina stated her root. Whatever that was.

"A-all of the alternative m-music I listened to and H-Harry P-p-potter I r-read were the result of rebellion against a st-strict upbringing. My homos-s-sexuality is just another s-symptom to be t-treated."

Sandy praised Tina again lavishly. Of course, Tina did not look so happy about it. Neither was Quinn when Sandy suggested that the new girl pipe in after some others had gone (Finn: Too many locker room showers with the varsity football team. Mercedes: My mother got married in a tracksuit. Kurt: Very traumatic breasts.) now that she had seen some confessions and anecdotes based on theseroots. Gosh, she did not want to do this. Last night had been hard enough, having to admit to herself, Matt, and Mike that she was a lesbian.

"All right. I'm Quinn Fabray, and I am a homosexual," Quinn said flatly. "So a root's the cause of my homosexuality, right?" Everyone nodded glumly. "'Kay, then. That's helpful. I'm gay because when I hit puberty, I discovered that I liked girls. Not guys."

Sue and Sandy gaped at Quinn. Nobody in True Directions history had come right out with it and been so… awful. Even Santana had made up little excuses to satisfy the co-founders. They were both dumbstruck, so Quinn saw it fit to continue.

"That didn't fly with my parents. I knew it wouldn't, so I never told them. To compensate, I suppose, I became the epitome of the heterosexual All-American girl. I'm already blonde, and I know I'm pretty, so that wasn't so hard. Worked my ass off to become cheerleading captain for next year, and I'm only going to be a junior. My boyfriend is a jock, and I'm pretty sure straight girls find him attractive… Oh, and the kicker: I kissed a girl and I liked it. And it's not like the Katy Perry song, 'cause it's not just curiosity." Quinn smirked at Sue. "Can you work with that? Turn me towards the 'true direction'?"

"Girl, you were awesome," Mercedes murmured as she passed Quinn on her way to her own lunch table.

The seating arrangements were apparently the same every meal. That was just fine with Quinn; she would have liked Matt and Mike around, since she liked them a lot, but her table only seated six. And her table group was all right. As long as didn't sit Santana at it… Every one had warned Quinn to watch out for the Latina because she had too many reasons to throw spite at her. Kurt listed some off (with help from Finn):

"You rejected her advances, and she does find you attractive."

"You're prettier than she is!"

"True, but now she's just jealous. You're braver than she is, which certainly unnerves her."

"She's Ms. Sylvester's mole!"

"Oh, how could I forget that? Santana has power, and she is not afraid to abuse it. Just watch out and grovel if you need to."

Quinn frowned. "But she's not my liege or anything stupid. I was going to lay low for a week, and then try to usurp power, but she's going to get me for minimalist things now that I'm on her bad side."

Artie piped in, "That wouldn't be such a bad idea, you know. Santana rules by fear, right?"

"Right," Finn agreed. "She's like a nightmare gone wrong."

A nightmare gone wrong was still a nightmare, but Artie ignored that last part. "Well, we like you at this table, and half the kids at the other table do too. Let's put you on top!"

"What?" Kurt said incredulously. "You really think that we could do that?"

Finn pouted and muttered, "Well you can't, if you're leaving tonight."

After glancing over at the other table thoughtfully for a moment, Quinn said, "Would you all support me if I took her down?"

Everyone assented honestly. Quinn decided that she could get Matt and Mike on her side easily. Mercedes might be more stubborn. Puck could also prove difficult, since he seemed to actually enjoy the company of Santana. Brittany was probably going to be the biggest problem, Quinn decided.

Then a thought occurred to her. It was a silly little throw-away idea… Santana had her queen in Brittany. Even if they were just having sex (Quinn had heard them last night. No "I love you"s there), it would be really nice to have someone to stand by her. Rachel was out of the question. For one thing, the sweet little brunette did not even go this hellhole of a camp. And secondly, Rachel was- Quinn admitted to herself- probably straight. Honestly, what were the chances? Gay dads, gay kid… Straight parents made straight and gay kids. Quinn had not studied any of this thoroughly, as she had never been allowed to associate with families of that sort, but she was pretty sure the idea held sway for everyone.

It was Rachel that Quinn had to thank for catalyzing her root speech. The previous night, the blonde had thought most of the information had gone in one ear and out the other while she was paying attention to the cute girl next to her. Apparently not.

"I'll think about it," Quinn said to her table eventually. "We'll see."

After breakfast, Quinn noticed that Tina looked even more sunken than usual. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Without stuttering, the blue-streaked girl replied, "You inspired me today, Quinn. I'm not gay, and I don't know why everyone else can't figure it out. Please believe me, but I don't belong here."

The blonde saw the honesty in Tina's eyes and smiled genuinely. Reaching a hand out to take Tina's (platonically), Quinn said, "I believe you. We'll get you out of here somehow."

The next morning, Finn's eyes were red. None of the girls had seen Kurt off, and half of them had not even expected him to have the guts to go through with it. Quinn sympathetically pat Finn on the shoulder, and Brittany did too. At least, she did until she caught Santana's commanding glower. The clockwork turned in Quinn's head, and she wondered if it would not be so difficult to bring Brittany to her side with authoritative kindness or something of the sort.

Quietly, she pulled Finn aside and said to him, "We can visit him, Finn. Why don't just you and me go soon? I've got some money for gas, and the truck is in the forest as usual. I can ask Tina to cover for me. You can have Artie, well, I don't know. He can think of something. How about it?"

"Okay! Let's go tonight!" Finn breathed softly. If he had not been at this crazy camp for two weeks, then he would never have picked up the ability to shout so quietly.

Of course Quinn had an ulterior motive. She could not get Rachel Berry off of her mind. When she lay in bed alone, all she could think of was silky brown hair, big brown eyes, the purest mezzo soprano, and the staple ideas behind gay activism. But mostly, she thought of that stupid kiss and how Rachel was not the one to pull away.

Quinn owed Tina her life or something. The plan was brilliant, to cause a monologue distraction and then stuff the bed with a filled spare duffel bag shaped into something resembling Quinn. She managed to sneak out without Santana becoming none the wiser, since Mercedes was yelling at everyone about how she wanted to hit the hay too, and the noise was just that awful to deal with.

It was just Quinn and Finn in a truck, with Finn driving them to the Berrys' club. That seemed to be the best guess as to where to find Kurt. Finn knew that his boyfriend hated being alone, and that the club was open almost every night. They talked sparingly, for both were lost in thought about what they would say. Quinn wanted to tell Finn about everything that she was feeling, but was so used to being closed off, that it would just be awkward.

They entered the club, and Finn was lucky enough to find Kurt immediately (even though the boy was incognito). Rachel was more difficult to find, as she had been working the bar. Quinn approached the bar and sat down on the stool nearest the short brunette. "Mm, don't they have a height requirement for bartending?"

Rachel turned around from the drink she had been working on. "It's a soda! I can use the soda fountain- Oh, it's you." Face flushing, she leaned on the countertop, feigning a cool head. "So...?"

"Rachel, I'm sorry about, um, you-know-what. We'd just met and everything and I was really drunk. And I didn't know that you were straight..."

The darker girl raised an eyebrow. "Who ever said I was straight?"

Taken aback, Quinn fumbled through her words a la Tina. "Y-you're n-n-not straight!"

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. Like, I used to date Puck, and I still think he's kind of cute, but you know..."

"So, you like girls?"

"I like girls," Rachel said matter-of-factly. "I am supposed to be the straight girl to prove that gay parents can make straight children, but that did not quite work out. It helps, though, when I'm protesting and such, totally getting the point of view..."

Quinn frowned. "Then why did you act so weird when I kissed you?"

Rachel inhaled with a little sniff of a laugh. "I had just met you, Quinn, and it wasn't even a premeditated action. If some girl you had just met grabbed you and started kissing you, wouldn't you be a little scared?"

Two nights ago did sound a little stranger, now that Quinn thought about it. She smiled sheepishly and played nervously with her own fingers. Wondering if Rachel was expecting her to say something, she stayed silent. They looked at each other awkwardly for a while before Quinn worked up some more courage. "So would you like to go out with me?"

Placing an elbow on the counter and the arm's palm to her cheek, Rachel looked skyward thoughtfully and thought aloud, "Ooh, let me think about that. You get drunk and kiss me the first night we meet, after denying your sexuality and not even hitting on me or anything. Apparently you did some soul-searching and decided that you were, in fact, gay. And then you came all this way just to ask me out. My, you're an interesting case..."

"Come on, Rach, decide already and don't keep me hanging on!"

Laughing, Rachel nodded. "All right, all right. You can actually listen to me when I talk about gay rights for longer than five minutes, and I'm a sucker for cute blondes. Just don't get caught or anything when you come here. I can't get down to visit your lovely camp because Sue always catches me somehow."

Quinn gave Rachel a look. "Catches you? What- Did you- Somebody else?"

Immediately, the brunette shook her head furiously. "Oh, heck no! But somebody's gotta tell the campers about the club and tell any brave 'uns about where to come if they run away."

"Phew. As long as you're not Santana's whore away from home, it's all good. Now get over here, and let's get to know each other better."

Rachel pushed off of the counter and smiled. "That sounds like a terrific idea. But why don't you come back here, and I can take you out back. It's too loud out there."

That sounded as good an idea as any, so Quinn hurdled over the counter, much to Rachel's dismay. The star-to-be voiced her opinion of strict adherence to the health code, but Quinn just laughed it off. Her new girlfriend was kind of cute when she was upset. "Hey, hey. They make us shower every day at camp. My arse is perfectly sanitary."

"Of course I believe you, but what if there is a plain-clothes health inspector around?"

"Plain-clothes health inspector? I didn't even know they had uniforms."

"Oh shush it."

"I've got a great way to do that," Quinn said, placing her hands Rachel's hips. Rachel, knowing what was coming, reached up and looped her arms around Quinn's neck. The two girls' eyes met, and then Quinn tipped her head forward to close the distance. It was so much better than that awkward surprise kiss, and both of them would swear that sparks were flying. And then, Rachel pushed out of it, breathing slightly heavier than she was previously.

"Let's go out back," Rachel said softly. Slipping out of Quinn's arms, she lead the other (dumbstruck) girl to the back room. "Employee's lounge," she explained, taking one side of a small couch.

Quinn could only follow and sit where she was told before Rachel went all crazy midget sex-monster and pinned her down. It was not unfamiliar on the bottom, for Karofsky had always insisted that it was the girl's place. If only he could see her at that moment, sliding hand under Rachel's top and macking with the hottest girl in the club. Rachel knew how to use her fingers, and was adept at touching Quinn in the most wonderfully delicate manner. Santana's hands had roamed about and been everywhere at once, making it hard to focus and feel, but Rachel's tempo was just perfect. It was probably a musician thing, knowing rhythm and how to utilize it.

Eventually, Rachel slowed her pace and sent it to a stop. Still hovering above Quinn, she went back into nonstop chatterbox mode. "Mm, do tell me, Miss Fabray, how did you end up in this cowtown we call Lima, Ohio? Since I know 'most everyone around here, and there is nobody with your last name. I actually tried looking you up on Facebook, but the only Quinn Fabray on there was a boy. It must stink to have a unisex name. Nobody's really mistaken my name for a boy, except that one time when I was twelve and Daddy gave me an awful haircut... and then girls hit on me. Not that I didn't like it, of course, but-"

Kurt and the others might have though Rachel's strange babbling was awful, but Quinn kind of liked watching the smaller girl's mouth move. Those luscious lips were so distracting, though. And even if she was paying attention to and laughing a little at what Rachel was saying, Quinn really wanted to claim those rapidly moving lips into her own. So she did, pushing herself upward and nipping at Rachel's bottom lip (and making the tiny brunette squeak) before settling back down in her spot on the bottom. "Where I'm from, there are no gay people. Well, maybe there are, but I've never met any. Somehow my parents and boyf- I mean ex-boyfriend picked up a gaydar and figured it out before I did. They're not going to want me back until I've been cured, or whatever."

Rachel tilted her head to the side. "Seems to me that they made it worse. You were in serious denial before, right?" She paused to allow Quinn a nod. "I bet you would have gone through life, just thinking that kissing and, you know, sex were not what they were made up to be. This is Sue and Sandy's second year of camp, and I can tell you that they never cured anybody. I keep tabs. About half of the grads that were actually 'mos to begin with are unhappily single, maybe a third are in awkward relationships with the opposite sex, and the rest have quote on quote 'regressed'."

"Tina's not gay," Quinn said suddenly.

Getting uncomfortable in her position, Rachel shifted so that she was snuggled beside Quinn instead of on top. "Is that the Asian girl or the black girl?"

"Asian. Blue-streaked hair. Dresses kind of goth-punkish."

"Ah, the case of the mis-labeled rebel. Seen that before. Well, Noah's not-"

"Noah? Oh. Right. Puck. Press on."

Rachel cleared her throat. "Eh-hem. Noah's not gay either, you know. But... he's not quite heterosexual. Whereas I'm more bent, he's usually straight," Rachel said thoughtfully.

Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own and rubbed it affectionately. "Not sure if Tina's his 'type', but he looks like the sort that would tap anything that showed interest. If I could get Tina and Puck to kiss or something, it would, uh..."

Rachel finished the sentence: "-Expedite both of their step processes and appease Sue!"

"Sure, let's go with that," said Quinn, not quite understanding Rachel's lexicon without a dictionary on hand. "I've got something else brewing too."

Cuddling closer to the other girl, Rachel said, "Ooh, do tell."

"So you know that Santana's the head bitch in charge at camp? Well, I think I can take her down, and Sue and Sandy at the same time."

"Really, now? Would I be able to assist in any way?"

Quinn smiled and kissed Rachel on the cheek. "Just be at the main clearing at camp with Kurt on Visiting Day, Treasure Trail."

Rachel bristled. "Treasure Trail? What kind of nickname is that?"

Climbing back in through the bathroom window quietly was difficult. Quinn was even more worried about sneaking back into bed without making a sound. She did not have to worry about being silent, because Santana was already ready and waiting on her bed. And the Latina did not look like she was up for fun and games. The other girls looked on with glazed-over expressions.

"So, Quinn. Breaking curfew. What should I tell Sue? What's you're excuse?"

There was no point in aggravating Santana further, so Quinn tried to look pathetic, and just a tad flirtatious. Sitting right next to Santana, she sniffled, "I... it's so difficult to be shut up in here, Santana. I needed some air. Don't you understand?"

The darker girl's expression softened, but not much. "Yes, I do. But that's no excuse? Where would you go?"

Quinn shrugged. "Just a walk. I like trees. Was vice-president of Earth Club back in Indiana." This was a complete and utter lie.

Santana smiled hungrily and placed her hand on the inside of Quinn's thigh. "I'll let it slide just this once, tree-hugger." Still smiling, she leaned over towards the blonde. And this was not just any lean; Santana looked like she was about to straddle the other girl. The moment seemed to last a painful eternity, but then Santana squeezed Quinn's thigh and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Think of me tonight. Or morning. It must be nearly two by now... Either way, sweet dreams."

Quinn released a breath that she did not remember holding when the crazy Latina strutted back to her own bed. Everyone glanced about awkwardly, save for Brittany, who eagerly took Santana back into her own bed. The fake tree-hugger decided that once and for all, she was going to give Brittany "The Talk". No... The other Talk. Not the one that you're thinking of, dearest reader.

It was after lunch, and Quinn was less than thrilled about the daily feminine exercises that Sue insisted that the girls learn in their pink cabin for Step Two: Rediscovering Your Gender Identity. Whatever that meant. The boys' activities did not sound very wonderful either. Finn had told her once about how Kurt's wood-cutting skills were not quite up to par with the rest of the group (save for Artie, who was excused from most of the physical activity and was instructed to lift weights in the corner). One day, he had accidentally split open Sandy's favorite Ralph Lauren sweater that had been set aside. No amount of apologies or tearful "Omigod!"s could abate Sandy's sorrows.

Quinn wished that knitting, needlepoint, and laundry were as exciting as accidental destruction of clothing items. The only ones who truly excelled at these skills were Tina (who was crafty) and Santana (who had done a lot of housework as the oldest of six kids). The others, including Sue, found themselves stabbing themselves and one another with needles and accidentally mixing in the girls' pinks with white socks. It was disastrous, but at least provided some opportunity for conversation while Sue gave lectures to nobody in particular about knitting. Her opinions of the hobby were never the same twice, as she variously condemned the yarn of oppression and praised the wool that leads to polyester jumpsuits somewhere along the way. Somehow this all related to the war and the military.

So in the midst of one of Sue's rants, Quinn managed to get Brittany on her own while Santana was in the bathroom. "Hey, Brittany."

"Quinn! Hi!" Brittany said happily, snarling her yarn thoroughly. "How ya doin'?"

"Excellent, Britt." She cut straight to the chase. "Do you love Santana?"

Beaming at the bathroom door, Brittany said, "Oh, yes. She's nice and warm and when she kisses me, it's like I'm flying..."

Quinn genuinely felt bad for the girl. "Brittany, she's stringing you along. Last night she was flirting with me. Kissed me. She tried to get in my pants when we were you-know-where."

"I wear what?"

"Where we were three nights ago."

"How am I supposed to know what I wore three nights ago?"

If she were not holding sharp knitting needles, Quinn would have smacked herself in the head. "Okay, she was flirting with me three nights ago. Not like cutesy-nicknames, but grinding up against me. T-touching me. I'm sorry, Britt, but you don't deserve this."

The news sunk in. Tears overflowed in Brittany's eyes. She could not say much more than, "Oh... Thanks for telling me, Quinn. I d-didn't know that." She sobbed pathetically.

Santana had told Quinn that Brittany knew about. Swallowing hard, Quinn said sympathetically, "If things don't go well with her, come talk to me. I want to help you." The wide-eyed expression on Brittany's face reminded her to add, "Not the sexy kind of help. Just as friends."

"But you don't have anybody to kiss or fuck."

Quinn frowned and debated whether or not to tell Brittany about Rachel. Nah, Santana might win back Brittany somehow, and that would be bad news to spill. "I'm all right. Really. Just trying to be a good friend."

Sue suddenly grumbled, "In my day, children were to be seen and not heard. But no, that would be against regulations. All thanks to that goddamn Town Supervisor, Figgins. Fabray!"

"Yes, Ms. Sylvester?"

"Have you seen that flowery boy around lately? His hair looks like somebody jacked off into it, but the Authorities that be have concerns about safety and whatnot, so I must keep tabs."

"No, Ms. Sylvester," Quinn said monotonously. "Kurt Hummel has not been seen in quite some time."

Sue shook her head disdainfully. "It's always the flippants. Always. Keep that in mind, Fabray."

By the time Tuesday's Visiting Day rolled around, everyone seemed to be on good to excellent terms with Quinn, save for Santana. Mercedes had been easy enough to win over by just being friendly towards her. Puck was a weird dude, but agreed to the plan because he was just sick of how the camp was. And Rachel was involved. Even if he did not like like her that much, he was still good friends with the enthusiastic little brunette.

Visiting Day, as Sandy put it, was like that Midterm that you had tried your best to study for, but just had to have faith that everything would work out in the end. This step was to, well, kiss. Snogging was another day's step, but Sandy was certain that his little bundles of joy would be able to kiss one another just fine. Sue could care less, and thought that kissing in public was cheap way to show passion. While Sandy ran the show, Sue expected to sit on her favorite bench and wrote mysterious things on her clipboard. Apparently, this all was very necessary for introducing Step Three: Family Therapy.

The parents all filed in, greeting their children. Quinn's parents had not written, and she had only written them to tell them that her progress was sufficient and that she had a new sort-of boyfriend named Puck who she rather liked a lot, thanks to camp. She had assured the Fabrays that there was no need to attend, and that she was already well on her way to straightness without the parental support. And dad was just so busy with his work... The lack of response was not reassuring, but Quinn did not expect them to come all the way from Indiana.

From Rachel and Puck, Quinn had learned that the Lima residents of True Directions included Puck, Santana, Finn, Artie, and Mercedes. The other Ohioans from neighboring towns were Brittany, Mike, and Matt. Farther from Lima, but still in Ohio, were Kurt and Tina. Quinn was the only one from out of state, but Midwestern accents tended not to vary much, so nobody much cared about that. From this information, she deduced that the townies' parents were all likely to show up (save for Puck's, as he claimed they were apathetic about processes). From personal conversations, she knew that Tina's parents would also be there. Brittany had no idea whether her parents would be coming to Visiting Day, Matt's would be coming, and Mike's were busy. Kurt's dad had not been informed of Visiting Day at all, so as not to put the camp under suspicion.

Every parent who needed to be there for this would be there. This was perfect. Hopefully.

Quinn had hoped that Sue's stringent dress code would not be placed into effect, but the campers all were in Pepto-Bismol pink and cerulean. For just one more day, she would tough out this attire. Rachel's gay activist ideas had clearly taken hold further on Quinn's already ones of female-empowerment. It was just so wrong to pinpoint people as colors so blatantly and not leave room for flexibility.

She was paired with Puck, which was not the worst that could have happened. Worst case scenario would have been pervy-but-nice Artie, who probably would have tried out what he had learned from porn to show Sue exactly how "committed" he was. As she stood in front of the self-described badass, she glanced to one side. Tina was with the perve. Well, that would not last for long. Other side... Finn and Brittany. Well, they were quite a pair. Both happily dopey and sweet. Poor things. The difference between the two of them was that Quinn knew that Kurt actually loved Finn, and that Santana was just in it for the perks.

Sue was rambling about something and not looking anywhere remotely close to the parents' heads. Sandy was smiling affably, but looked nervous. This was a camp that was supposed to bring about cures, and it was only in its second summer. So much was riding on this moment. When Sue blew her whistle that had never seen usage until that moment, the campers were supposed to kiss. Santana moved in on Matt and Mike on Mercedes, but that was about it. Rachel (armed with a messenger bag with "Wicked" embroidered on) and Kurt (armed with his fabulous fashion sense) burst suddenly from some bushes up the hill and caused quite a commotion. Before Tina's parents could look away, Puck tried to make time to give the Asian girl a good smooch for show. To no avail, as they had just missed it.

"You!" Sue shouted. "The Berry girl and the Hummel boy... girl... whatever you are! What in the name of all that I hold sacred are you two doing here?"

Rachel and Kurt shared smirks before meeting their lovers halfway down the hill to kiss.

"The abomination!" shouted Sandy unconvincingly.

Santana's mother covered her husband's eyes. The other parents were in various states of horror.

"Tina Tamar-Talia Cohen-Chang!" Mrs. Cohen-Chang said in a surprisingly loud stern voice. "This camp has poisoned you. We are removing you immediately and seriously considering other options."

The normally tentative and stuttering Tina put her foot down. Finally. "No, mom! I'm not gay! I don't know how many times I tried to deny it, but everyone just keeps insisting that I am. I like boys; I really like boys. The only reason I'm here is because Audrey badgered me into just kissing her, and it was just awful. She told everyone that it was my fault, but it was all her. Mom, Dad. Please! It shouldn't matter if I'm gay or not, but I'm not. Really!"

Rachel pulled apart from Quinn's lips and grasped for the blonde girl's hand. It was easy for her to project her voice, so everyone heard her (too) loudly and (too) clearly. "They are how they are. Ms. Sylvester, do you say being gay is a choice?"

"Of course it is!" barked Sue. Santana's mother bobbed her head in agreement.

"Right," Rachel said sarcastically. She turned her head to Santana's mother. "Mrs. Lopez, why do you think being gay is a choice?"

"It just... is!" Mrs. Lopez said, still covering her husband's eyes. He did not actually seem to mind much, and stood there docilely. "And it's against God!"

"I love God, Mrs. Lopez," said Quinn sincerely. "I'm certain he would not have wanted me to live repressed and unhappy with a man all of my life, if that was not what I wanted. I do not think that this is a test from God for neither myself nor your daughter."

Tilting her head to the side thoughtfully, Rachel gestured towards Santana, and said, "Do you think that your daughter there is gay?"

The older Latina shook her head. "Not from the looks of how she is kissing that black boy."

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand, and the brunette withdrew. The former cheerleader said, "Mrs. Lopez, I'm Quinn Fabray, and I have slept in the same room as your daughter since camp started. What would you say if I told you that your daughter has kept company with another female- not myself- all this time?"

"I... I would be very disappointed. How could you Santana?"

Santana and Matt broke off kissing when Quinn made the big ol' announcement. Sputtering, Santana cried, "It's not true! Fabray's a filthy lesbian. I- I would never do such a thing as share a bed with a woman again. It's disgusting."

A piercing sob was heard. Everyone's eyes turned to Brittany. "You think I'm disgusting?"

"No, no! I-" Santana cut herself off.

"She doesn't love you, Brittany," said Quinn frankly.

Fuming, Santana clenched her fists and yelled, "You're wrong, Fabray! You don't know what it's like! I do love her but I-"

Everyone in the area just stared at Santana. What a miscalculation on Quinn's part.

Mercedes said incredulously, "Hold up; you seriously crank up the flirt with Quinn, you flirt with 'most every girl you see, but you love Brittany?"

"Yes! All right? I do it because I can get away with it. But if I had to choose just one, it would be Brittany in a heartbeat! Britt, what do you...?"

Brittany shook her head. "I don't know," she whined. "Quinn 'splained to me all about what you did to her, and I don't think that's very nice to me. You're always saying that nobody can find about us because it's a special secret, but I didn't known that the only camper not in on the real secret was me."

"I don't want my son going here!" Finn's mom.

"This place is a failure!" Matt's mom.

"Who is this Santana girl, and why should I care about her?" Artie's dad.

"Honey, did we have oatmeal or lasagna for breakfast this morning? I can't remember anything that happened before after-breakfast karaoke." Brittany's mom.

"For crying out loud, would everyone just shut their pieholes?" Sue Sylvester.

Kurt shook his head in dismay. "There is still a problem! I am gay, and no camp is going to change that. I only came here to get out of my dad's hair and maybe see if the camp was valid. But True Directions' methods are by no stretch of imagination effective. Say, if George Clooney happened to pass by I-"

"George Clooney?" Sandy said to himself loudly. "Ooh, that man makes me all hot and bothered!"

"M-m-mr. Ryerson?" Sandy turned scarlet and withdrew from the gathering.

Mrs. Lopez sighed, exasperated. She uncovered her husband's eyes, and he appeared just as blank in eye expression as before. "If the camp's co-founder can't even cure himself, I guess I'm going to just have to deal with my lesbian daughter. She's a good kid, I guess. Good with her siblings."

"Aw, Mama," Santana said, smiling genuinely.

The other parents piped in some assent. Artie's dad, Brittany's parents, and Mercedes' parents all seemed to somewhat accept the sexualities of their children, albeit grudgingly. Matt's parents were terribly reluctant, and refused to budge on their views. Finn's mom was very disappointed, but still on the fence. Tina's parents were still confused as to why they were still here.

"You're all lugs, the lot of you!" said Sue furiously. She blew her whistle so everyone would come to attention. "Now, when I was in the military-"

"You and the military," Quinn said. Accusingly, she pointed the index finger of her free hand at Sue. "You're always going on about the military. The Marines this, AWOL that. Why were you released from the service for anyway? I don't buy your story."

"Honorably discharged," rattled off Sue immediately. "I discovered a new passion in life after my tour of service was completed."

"New passion?" snickered Finn.

"Oh really?" piped in Rachel, pulling some papers from out of her messenger bag. "Your paperwork seems to claim discharge for... other reasons."

Quinn grinned. "Don't ask, don't tell, maybe?"

Sue's face darkened. "Where did you get that, you deranged munchkin?" Breathing heavily, she used her long muscular legs to stalk towards Rachel.

Rachel waved the papers around. "They're copies. An ex-lover of yours. She happens to frequent my gay dads' nightclub-hyphen-bar, and is rather talkative when drunk. You don't claim them counterfeit?"

"Give them to me!" Sue screamed as she raised her fists.

"Oh no you don't," Quinn teased. "Look how many witnesses there are, Ms. Sylvester."

Sue stopped in her tracks at the bottom of the hill and took in the terrified parents' and campers' expressions. "The Oompa-loompa got it right. I... this marriage was a farce. Contrary to popular belief, I do possess a heart. And I never wanted any slightly masculine girl or a flaming male or a Kurt Hummel to suffer like I did."

"Hey!" Kurt exclaimed. Finn kissed his boyfriend on the top of the head and shushed him.

"Well!" Rachel demanded everyone's attention. "As True Directions has proved to be a complete failure, why don't we finish off the summer with an actual summer camp, since everyone's here already. Shall we call it 'New Directions'?"

Quinn swatted Rachel's forehead. "You are so cheesy. But it's cute. And everyone already paid for camp tuition anyway, right? Probably easy enough to change the sign... All in favor of New Directions?"

Most of the parents and campers raised their hands. Mercedes and Matt had to really push to get their parents to let them stay, but both got their ways in the end. Finn's mom sighed and waved her son on to stay. Tina's parents let her stay on the condition that she not kiss anybody, male nor female, all summer.

The uniforms (by Kurt's insisting) were deemed unfashionable and restricting, and were officially abolished. Biweekly trips to Rachel's gay dads' nightclub with adult supervision would be made official. Rachel did not enroll officially in camp, but was welcome to come for everything except for meals and activities that cost money. Sandy helpfully suggested that they get a new counselor, since the place was just giving him a bad feeling. Sue had disappeared at some point, and nobody saw her again. Rachel did claim, weeks later, that she had seen Ms. Sylvester with a new female friend, both passed out on the club's bar, but had been too busy singing a Barbra Streisand medley to check.

The new counselor was Mr. Schuester, who was affectionately called Mr. Schue by almost everyone. He was an acquaintance of Sandy's, and had been hired to teach at the Lima high school that most of the campers attended during the school year. Camp was actually fun, especially the group sings that Mr. Schuester, an avid music lover, insisted on. Rachel was the only one with pipes worth anything, and the neighbors did not complain so much about that horrid racket anymore.

Once, most of the campers were out sunbathing on the hill. Sue and Sandy had not prioritized picking things that would be at a normal camp, and had neglected to get a location with a beach, among other things that normal camps had. The hill had become the center of activity for most, but on that day, Rachel and Quinn chose to spend a relaxing afternoon lazing in Quinn's bed.

"I love you Rach, and I don't want to go back home after the summer's over," sighed Quinn.

Rachel sat up. "Oh. I already fixed that."

"What?" Quinn quickly sat up.

"I sent your parents a letter. Your new boyfriend is Noah, and you love him very much in your newfound straightness. Since you cannot bear to leave him, you will stay with him chastely in his home's spare bedroom, and will visit with him during Winter Break."

"But... but I'm a cheerleader, Rachel. Head cheerleader. I can't give that up," Quinn said, frowning.

Rachel looked hurt. "Why did you become a cheerleader in the first place, Quinn?"

"To become popular."


"To... get boys. Oh. Oh...!"

Matter of factly, Rachel smiled. "Exactly. If you really want to cheerlead, I know Santana's on the squad."

"Brittany's thinking of switching to McKinley High from out of district, isn't she?"


"Oh. Don't really want to be on the squad then. Don't really want to watch them fight again."

"It was that bad?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah... they got back together, but it's a bumpy road. They're just so different. I mean, they're cute together, but they drive each other crazy. I think they're going to break up for good next time."

"I'm glad we don't fight that much," said Rachel, massaging Quinn's inner thigh.

Shuddering slightly, Quinn nodded. "It's going to be nice, isn't it? Finn and Kurt are going cutely long-distance, and you know they'll make it work. Matt's parents are at least sending him mildly pleasant letters... Tina's all right. I'm happy."

Rachel smiled and shifted over to straddle Quinn. "Enough about everyone else. Give me some attention."

"Ooh, what That Thing wants, That Thing gets." The blonde encircled her arms about the brunette and nuzzled her perfectly tan neck.

"Where do you come up with these names, anyway?"

"There's a dictionary of 'em. Have to be at least five foot three to get at them. Too bad for you, Stubbles."

"Oh, you're terrible, Quinn," Rachel whined, dipping her hands down to cup what of Quinn's bum she could reach.

Quinn sighed contentedly. "You know, I always thought that my life would be perfect if I ended up with the football captain or something. Just goes to show, choir girls do it better."

"Show choir," Rachel snickered.

Rolling her eyes, Quinn said, "Shut up, you're ruining the moment!"

"What moment? There is just here and now. Me and you. Always and forever. To the moon, and back again, my sweet goddess of amore!"

"Cut it with the cheese!"

Rachel could barely contain herself. "Cut... the cheese!"

"Oh, you just need the last laugh. Come on, you." Quinn tickled Rachel in that spot that she knew was sensitive and the tickle war just kept going until they collapsed on the bed, exhausted and happy.