Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah...you know what goes here...lack of ownage.
A/N: Damn, this story is just flying by now...XD I should know because I wasn't planning to write anything but then AymiChyan challenged me to a duel of who could finish a chapter faster...and so here I am coming out the victor :DD So go thank her for the update (Seriously, she started ignoring my messages because I was slacking off on writing)!
Well, either way, hope you enjoy the building-up-to-the-real-fun chapter!
Chapter 22: The Great Outdoors
"Naruto! Come on, man. This's so unfair. You have to go with me! If I have to go with just my family I'll kill myself!" Kiba howled in Naruto's ear.
The blonde was so close to just hanging up on Kiba, he wasn't sure that his eardrum could take much more of his extremely loud begging. Originally, he was being bombarded with text after text, but Kiba got smart and he called. Naruto could easily ignore texts, but that didn't work so well with calls. And he wanted to hit himself of making the mistake of picking up the phone without checking caller ID in advance.
Worst part was that Naruto knew that if he did just close the phone on the brunette that in a matter of minutes, he would be hearing his own door bell ringing...incessantly.
Naruto sighed, running his face over his hand. "Kiba, why do you think that if you don't want to go on this camping trip, that I would?"
"'Cause it's way more fun with a bud! My mom and my sister are so annoying! You have to save me!"
"I want to spend the rest of my Thanksgiving break in peace..."
"You freakin' owe me, dude. I have done so much for you," Kiba reasoned.
"Name one thing?"
"Name one thing that you have done for me that I'd 'owe you' for."
"Umm, well, I don't know, but come on, you know there must be something..." he trailed off in thought, "You gotta do this for me! I'll be your best friend!" Kiba pleaded when he couldn't come up with a specific example.
"Dude, you already are my best friend." Naruto laughed at Kiba's logic, or lack thereof.
"Exactly! And what're best friends for?" He asked rhetorically. "They're there for you when you need to be rescued from a boring, family camping trip." Filling him in on the apparent answer.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Hah, I'm not sure that was one of the guidelines in Best Friends 101...and I thought you liked camping, but fine...on one condition..."
"Yeah, what? Anything! I swear, you name it!"
"Get the rest of the gang to go. I bet your mom won't care how many of your friends go, right?"
"For sure. The more the merrier as she always says. This is going to be the bomb!" Kiba exclaimed. "I'll call you later once I get everyone on board! Give you the details and crap then! Bye!"
"Bye," the blonde said with a smile, snapping his phone shut. He could already imagine Kiba hyperactively calling all the other guys. And begging them into submission just like he had with with Naruto. Actually now that he thought about it he kinda felt sorry for the rest of the guys. He had released the wrath of the desperate Kiba on them.
Like hell you feel bad! Look at the size of that grin on your face!
Eh, maybe I am lying, but just wait for when Kiba wakes up Shikamaru...I wish I was there.
...I don't. I like living, thank you very much.
Good point. Oh well, let's get all our camping gear ready.
"You came!" Kiba grinned, running up to Naruto to give him a man hug.
"I said I was coming, didn't I?" Naruto smiled back. It was worth dragging his butt over here for a 3-day outdoor excursion just to see Kiba this excited. He was practically jumping up and down in place.
He had been told to come over to their house and then after everyone was accounted for they would leave for a camping site that was on the outskirts of the Konoha forest. He didn't remember the name of the place, but it really didn't matter. He knew it was near a natural lake because Kiba hadn't shut up about how he wanted to go water skiing, tubing, and fishing. He also assumed that they had their own boat docked there, or something.
As soon as he pulled up to the Inuzuka's residence, he had been affronted by a massive RV. It literally was a house on wheels. But that must have been the point. Plus the thing had to transport around seven people, comfortably.
Naruto could see that the RV was well loved by the family by the state it was in: obviously used, but in perfect condition. The blonde bet if he asked that Kiba could tell him the exact story for each dent and scratch. Not that he wanted to hear it.
Since he was the first one there, he politely helped Kiba's mom, Tsume, pack the car. Good manual labor. Lugging the cargo from house to RV and then back again was way more strenuous than it looked. After a few minutes Naruto was even breathing heavily and he could feel the sweat gathering between his shoulder blades, but Kiba's mom hadn't broken a sweat. That women was a monster!
All the Inuzuka's looked the same: light brown skin, medium brown hair, and dark brown eyes. Oh, and they all had an unnatural love for dogs. He was pretty sure that Kiba's mom was like a professional dog breeder and that his older sister, Hana, was a vet with a specialty in canine treatment and care.
What he did know for a fact was that there were always ten or more dogs in the house. Every time he visited he was more than sure that there were more in the tiny house than the last.
The burden of packing was lessened when an extremely agitated Shikamaru showed up. Scratch that, whether or not Shikamaru was here, Naruto knew that he would still be doing all the work. That kid would end up just sitting, in a comatose state, on the porch until it was time to leave.
"Hey, Shika! I can't believe Kiba got you to come!" Naruto yelled out to the other boy.
The tired brunette grunted in response, plopping down on the bottom step of the porch's staircase, leaning himself onto the pillar next to him. He was probably fast asleep. Somethings never change, just like he had thought. The blonde almost laughed when he realized that Shikamaru was still in his pajamas.
Naruto walked over to Kiba to give him props with a ritual fist bump. "I'm impressed that you live to tell the tale of waking Shika."
"It wasn't easy, man, but was it worth it!" Kiba said, "Though for a second there I was scared he was going to murder me."
"Didja go to his house, or something?"
"Yeah. Pushed him out of his bed."
"Damn, dude. That takes guts!"
The brunette happily bowed to the non-existent crowd, going on to kiss-wave his hand to the imaginary, adoring fans.
"Boys!" Tsume yelled from inside the house. Coming out of the doorway holding onto three huge bags on each of her arms, like fucked up bracelets, and a non-amused expression on her face. "A little help, please."
"Ma'am, yes, ma'am," Kiba saluted, marching side-by-side with Naruto back into the foyer.
Naruto grunted as he was handed a couple camping backpacks, like those monsters you would see boyscouts hauling on their backs. You know the ones that contained everything but a full sized hospital.
He struggled down the steps and around the RV in order to get to the storage units on the left side of the vehicle. He dropped the backpacks on the ground, looking up to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything back in the house. He knew that he would get a good lecture from Kiba's mom again for his chronic forgetfulness. Just to be horrified by another site.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Naruto shouted in surprise, pointing in accusation.
Sasuke smirked in amusement. "Hello to you too, Dobe."
"What the fuck is he going here?" Redirecting the question to the general public.
Kiba raised a brow. "I thought that he would be included when you said 'the rest of the gang'...?"
"Yeah, I'm part of the gang now, aren't I?" Sasuke said in unnecessary repetition. Naruto heard Kiba loud and clear. Bastard.
Now that Naruto thought about it the gang hung out with Sasuke on a daily basis. He had been pretty much inducted after the whole engagement party throw down. I mean he ate lunch with them everyday, nothing makes it more official than that. It only made sense that Kiba would invite Sasuke just like he invited Shikamaru. Ugh, he hated logic. It never helped him in any of his arguments anyway.
"Teme, why did you come? Don't you have better things to do then come on a freaking camping trip?" Naruto asked with excess hostility.
The raven didn't bother to answer. He just smirked.
It drove the blonde crazy. It was like he only ever had one facial expression. Did he not know how to do anything other than smirk? Did he think that it made him cool to smirk all the time? Was he better than them because he could. It was he all-knowing smirk. And it was directly aimed at him. Oh, how he wanted to punch that ridiculously, fucking hot smirk off the teme's face. Sasuke was teasing him with that sexy smirk and Naruto knew it.
Gah! Must. Resist. Urge. To. Punch. Face.
Always wanted to know how you would act when Sasuke became your boyfriend...Well seems nothing has changed. Still a whole lot of murderous intent.
Naruto hadn't told any of his friends about them being, like...together...yet. Nor did he really feel like it. He wasn't even sure about how he felt about it now and it had been two days. And you can bet your ass he had been thinking about it all that time. And he wasn't sure how to tell them either. "Hey, guess what I'm gay and going out with Teme over here!" Didn't strike him as a good idea.
"Ugh, whatever, where's Gaara?" Naruto wondered out loud, the rest of the people seemed to be here.
"I'm right behind you."
"Wah! Gaara don't do that! Next time tell people you're here...don't creep up on them!" The blonde spun around on his heels, grabbing his chest in over-exaggerated shock. The redhead gave a short flicker of a smile in response, shifting his backpack further up his shoulder to show he was all set.
"Kiba!" Tsume shouted from across the yard with he back facing the driveway. She was rummaging through the food rations, putting everything in its proper cooler and making sure there was enough ice to keep the drinks cold.
"What, Mom?" the brunette asked.
"Kiba!" she yelled again in annoyance.
"Answer me when I call for you! Don't give me attitude!"
"I did! You just didn't hear me!"
"Well next time answer properly!"
"Yeah, yeah..." he grumbled, rolling his eyes. He mimed shooting himself in the head to the guys. Naruto laughed, Kiba's mom was truly a dictator. But he secretly thought that Kiba was just like her, not a dictator, but just that same gruff, loud personality. That was probably why they butted heads so often they were too alike in their characteristics. Eh, as they say, "the apple falls under the tree"...or something like that.
"Is everyone here?!" Tsume asked while marking off necessary items from her checklist.
"Yeah, mom all the guys are here!"
"Go get your sister!" she ordered, not bothering to turn around.
"Ugh, but why?" Kiba moaned. "Hana's not my responsibility. She's the older one too! Why am I always the one who has to do everything?"
"Kiba, enough. Just go get her," she said in a no-nonsense tone. "I make her do things too."
"Yeah, right..." he stomped off, back into the house. Naruto watched as Kiba did what his mom told him to with the least amount of work possible. Maybe to be defiant or something, but there he stood in the front door frame yelling "Hana, get your butt over here! Mom wants you! We're leaving! We'll leave without you!"
"I'm coming, dogface!" Hana shouted back, but came skipping out within a few seconds with all her stuff in hand. She was equipped with a Seventeen magazine and her violet iPod for the four hour long drive. If they could've driven straight from point A to point B it would've been a two and a half hour drive, but thanks to a few mountains they had to take the long, winding route.
"Mom, she called me 'dogface' again!" Kiba whined.
"Hana! Stop calling your brother names! And Kiba I don't see how dogface is even an insult, dogs are cute. She's calling you cute."
"Mooooooom, that's even worse!"
Soon enough, the RV was packed to the roof and everyone was situated.
And by that it meant, Tsume and Hana were in the front seats, and all five of the boys were stuffed in the back. Sasuke and Gaara were sitting one side of the wooden table on the hard bench seat, in identical poses. Both of them had one elbow on the table with their chin resting on the palm of their hand and the other on their phones. Shikamaru was laying down on the other bench of little table, with his for arm as a makeshift pillow...asleep. Ironically enough, Naruto and Kiba were seated criss-cross on the fold-out bed. Why Shikamaru chose to sleep on the bench no one knew...but they weren't about to wake him and ask. Or try and move him for that matter.
The RV was rather roomy. There was a miniature kitchen with all the amenities: stainless steel sink, electric stove, mini-fridge, automatic dishwasher, and cherry wood cabinets. With five different sleeping cots all haphazardly put in the random spaces they designer could find. One even required a fold out ladder to get to because it was above another bed that was directly next to the corner cabinets.
It was a very confusing layout, Naruto knew if someone described it to him there was no way he would be able to picture it. You had to see it to understand.
-10 Minutes Later-
"Are we there yet?" Kiba moaned.
-20 Minutes Later-
"Are we there yet?"
-25 Minutes Later-
"Are we there yet?"
-30 Minutes Later-
"Are we there yet?"
-Every Half Hour After-
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?" Kiba groaned, tired of playing B.S. with the rest of the guys. For some reason they always knew when he was bluffing, and he had lost four games straight. And Shikamaru had won four games straight. And they have only played four games.
He officially hated card games.
"Yes," Tsume responded gratefully, she was just as relieved, Kiba would finally shut up. Number one thing on her to-do list was to recover her sanity.
"Hooow much looooonge— Wait...did you just say yes?" He said surprised, dramatically acting out like he was fake-cleaning his ear, as if to hear her answer better this time around. Because apparently getting there right when she said they would get there is such a shock.
"Yes, we're here."
Tsume parked right were they were, pocketing the keys before stepping out the driver side door, ready to get some fresh air. Kiba burst through the door without pause, breathing in a sense of adventure. The rest of the gang followed in suit, making a point of first stretching out all their stiff limbs for that satisfying pop.
They were surrounded by fresh, green trees. Yeah, they were pretty much completely green from moss overgrowth. Naruto was sure that the only non-green things in the site was them, the RV, and the dirt ground. All the rest of the scenery was a deep forest green...made sense since they were in a forest.
"Wanna go exploring?" Kiba asked all the guys. He was going to conquer the woods. He'll be king of the forest!
"Yes!" Naruto answer with just as much enthusiasm.
Sasuke, Gaara, and Shika wordlessly nodded their heads. They all started walking towards the dense foliage. Kiba looked back before yelling to his mom. "Mom, we're gonna go check this place out, We'll be back soon, 'kay?"
"Sure, sure, get the out of here," she answered, happy at the idea of getting him out of her hair. She began to take out the luggage from the outer storage units, folding out two chairs for herself and Hana. Making a not to set up the tents and pull out the sleeping bags before anything else.
Kiba shrugged. "Come on!"
The gang was soon stepping over mud puddles, frogs, and other animals, which they didn't care to identify for their own mental safety. Pushing aside outlying plant leaves, while brushing aside giant spider webs, happy to not to see the maker there. Stopping only to skip stones in the narrow, rocky river they saw crossing their path. Slowly they jumped stone to stone, to make it to the other side of the water bank. Laughing how it felt like they were in an Indiana Jones movie.
Now making their way up an obvious trial on the edge of the nearby mountain side.
"What is that?!" Naruto shouted. Staring straight at a stick that hadn't been moving a second ago.
"That would be a snake," Gaara answered in an almost bored tone.
"I know it's a snake but what kind of snake?!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Can't you hear that rattling noise?"
"I don't think it matter if I hear, it's more of that I don't want to hear it," Naruto answered, gulping. Glancing around the thin trail they were on to see if there was a wide enough, clear area they could use to avoid the obviously pissed off snake.
It really didn't help that Naruto had stepped on this "stick" before figuring out that it was otherwise. It was hissing loudly now, but of course the rattling noise took the cake when it came to noise. It's funny how something that isn't actually not that loud can sound like a horribly din when scared. Oh, how pleasant life was indeed.
"That's an eastern diamondback rattlesnake, or Crotalus adamanteus, you can tell by the pattern on it's back," Shikamaru said. "It's a venomous pit viper species found in here. It is the heaviest, though not the longest, venomous snake in the Konoha and the largest rattlesnake, in general."
Naruto gave him an incredulous look. "I could've gone without the extra detail." Was this really the time to give every menacing detail of a species when face-to-face with it. Why couldn't he have angered a frog, or something. He had seen enough of those.
So here they were stuck between a confining trail and a rattled rattlesnake.
Worst day ever.
Well...there was that day where that baby lamb g—
Don't you dare bring up my forth birthday. We agreed to never speak of the day again.
"So what do we do?" Kiba asked Shikamaru. If anyone had any answers it would be resident genius.
Geniuses shrugging was never a good sign.
"Wait, we can just turn around and go back guys. Duh," Naruto said, snapping his fingers in enlightenment. It was so obvious why hadn't he thought of that before.
"I don't think so," Shikamaru said with no explanation.
Not that is was needed as soon as Naruto physically turned around, he saw the problem.
"Holy shit!" Kiba yelled, jumping two feet in the air.
Good to know they were actually surrounded by diamondbacks. Apparently the rattle of the original, annoyed snake attracted others. Brilliant. Stupid snake had to bring other snakes into his problem. This was between him and them, not the other snakes. What a rude snake.
Sasuke decided that this might have not been the smartest idea to come along. He had never been afraid of snakes, but encountering a venomous snake in an empty forest hadn't been on his bucket list. It would be fun to save the dobe though. Superman for a day.
"So...?" Naruto trailed, waiting for someone to finish the thought.
"We're stuck." Shikamaru yawned.
Really? How can this be a time to yawn?
The snakes were getting restless, he could see them slithering back and forth, hissing furiously. They were snapping thin branches as they moved in, adding to the annoying crinkle of dry leaves. And now the boys were pressing their backs together, in an inverted huddle. Some evasive tactics would be nice. There was no more room, the three snakes had efficiently locked them in the middle of the path.
Sasuke glanced down, lifting one foot up to notice that they were standing on holes in the ground. Burrows. Probably the angry snakes' burrow. Well good to know that the snakes weren't going any where any time soon...
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Kiba snorted.
Just as Naruto was going to add to the genius bashing, the snake he had stepped on lashed out. It didn't manage to latch on to any of the guys but it was effective at getting them to move.
"AAAAH! Run for your lives!" Naruto shouted in terror.
And with that all the boys scattered.
Naruto didn't look back. He was getting out of there. Of course, he hoped that all the guys were fine, but first things first, get the hell out of there. He grabbed the person that had been to his immediate right.
Turned out to be Sasuke. Go figure.
He and the raven ran side by side, bolting through the tree. Cutting through bushes and shrubs. Jumping over rocks and random fallen trees. He felt the leaves whip his face as he ran by, leaving his face red. Naruto almost tripped a couple times, and then actually tripped a couple others, but got back up to resume running.
After a good five minutes of sprinting, they assumed that they were far enough from those venomous hell creatures at this point to stop.
Sasuke and Naruto were both doubled over gasping for air, using each other as support to keep from collapsing on the floor right then and there. Their lungs couldn't inhale fast enough.
"That was close," Naruto managed to wheeze out.
"Huh, yeah..." Sasuke said still gasping, he sat down on a rather large rock. Thoroughly winded.
He ran way too often when around Naruto. That couldn't possibly be good for his health.
Once they caught there breath, they scanned their surroundings.
Yup, trees. Lots of 'em.
That told them absolutely nothing.
"Uh, Sasuke. Where are we?"
"I don't know..." He answered honestly, trying to picture a map in his head an pinpoint their location. But he couldn't find an object that would help him figure out where they were, there was no landmark, sign, or trail nearby. It was all goddamn, identical trees.
"Weren't you a boyscout or something?"
"No, if anyone should've been a boyscout it's you!"
"Ugh, call someone," the blonde ordered.
"Fine," Sasuke snapped. He pulled out his iPhone from his back pocket. And slid to unlock. "No signal."
"What the fuck is an iPhone good for when there is no signal?"
"Well, you can still play Angry Birds," Sasuke said in a lighthearted attempt to get the blonde to smile. That serious, worried face did not suit the idiot.
Sasuke rolled his eyes...at himself. "To be fair, we are in the middle of no where," he pointed out, almost answering both of them.
"But you're Sasuke Uchiha! Can't your personal army come and get us. Or can't you use your magical emo powers to poof us back to the camp, or something?" The blonde asked semi-hysterical.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I hope those weren't earnest questions..."
"Where the fuck are we?!" Naruto yelled to the trees. He heard it echo off into the distance.
"Where the fuck are we," Gaara asked Shikamaru.
"Where the fuck am I?!" Kiba yelled to...no one...
Thanks for reading! Aw, our poor characters are lost in the woods. And Kiba is all by himself. They have to fend for themselves too XD But I hoped you liked it though the it wasn't interesting, the interesting has yet to come XP But tell me what you think!
On that note, here is a completely random I have to say, AymiChyan has just posted the prologue for her own SasuNaru fic called Birds of a Feather, inspired by James Patterson's Maximum Ride series! And if that doesn't insure its awesome-ness, I am the editor of the story too XD Check it out! Might as well since you are done reading this!