Chapter 5 - First Kiss
I sighed as I heard footsteps nearing and turned around. Of all people, I really did NOT feel like talking to Mordin, regardless he was here.
"Joker, may I speak with you?" he glanced at EDI who was currently doing my job instead of my lazy ass. "Privately?" he added in a whisper. I scrunched my brow and looked at him questioningly.
"Uhh...fine." I sighed getting up. I was getting good at this walking thing. Mordin led me to his lab and began talking. I could tell he was struggling to keep a steady and understandable pace to his speech.
"I have been doing follow-up examinations of EDI for my experiment." he began.
"Yeah, and?" I asked lazily. Mordin looked me in the eye.
"Most interesting results." he sniffed harshly. "EDI appears to be growing a personality."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Think of this, computer and human brain are not too different. The only immediate difference is personality and emotion, which a computer is void of. But for speculation's sake, let us say that a computer could feel. If I were to ask a computer and a human what happiness was like, and they both had the same type of answer, what then, would separate them as conscious beings?" Mordin finally took a breath, his eyes lit with the sparkles of discovery.
"Mordin, you're not making much sense." Mordin sighed and reworded his question.
"If both computer and human feel, then what makes them different?"
"Easy, one's made of metal and one's made of squishy bits." I answered, thoroughly confused. Mordin nodded.
"But is that different than saying a human has one heart and a krogan has two?"
"Are you trying to suggest that if a computer can feel that makes them human?" Mordin shook his head.
"It makes them a conscious being, such as any of the alien species out there. Salarian, krogan, hanar, human! What all connects them? Their minds!" Mordin's words were starting to make sense to me, but I couldn't believe them.
"Well, what about geth? They seem pretty conscious to me." I asked, getting a sour expression from the scientist.
"Geth have no wishes, no hopes, no dreams. Geth cannot understand emotion, and rely solely on programming for decision making." he answered, calming down a bit. "EDI, however, has wishes of her own. She has feelings."
I blinked, letting the meaning of his words sink in.
"EDI...can feel?" I asked again, looking up at Mordin with disbelief. He nodded.
"EDI has evolved. She is certainly what the counsel had been trying to avoid." he said softly
"But...she's not bad, right?"
"On the contrary." Mordin said happily. "Like any other self-aware species out there, EDI is able to choose her path. She has told me that we are her friends." his expression turned soft.
"Thats...pretty fucking amazing, Mordin." I said, shaking my head lightly.
"But keep news to self. Would like to keep from loosing posterior."
I nodded and left to get back to work, though that was hardly what I did. Sure, I sat in my chair and looked at the monitors, but I was far from working. Mordin's discussion kept playing itself through my mind. Did this mean EDI really was alive? Was this caused by receiving a body, or was it bound to happen one way or another? I sighed, did that even really matter?
I looked around. EDI was still doing my work for me, it seemed she had noticed my spacy-ness and decided to fly the ship herself. Thank god, we surely would have crashed by now if it hadn't been for her.
"EDI...?" I said, cringing when I realized I'd said that out loud. EDI turned her head and stared, masking any feelings that might have been running through her.
"Done day-dreaming, Jeff?" she asked, a soft smile on her lips. My heart melted.
"Uhh, where are we going right now?" I asked trying to get a conversation going.
"We've docked at the Citadel. I believe Shepard said she wanted to go 'clubbin' with Thane." she said, her voice sounded so...not synthetic.
"Ahh, I see..." I said softly. "So is everyone gone?"
"Mostly." she answered. Geez, just how long had I been spacing out for? I shook my head. She really didn't seem in the mood to chat. Yet, I had to know.
"Can we talk then...?" I asked, putting on my man face. EDI stared at me, confusion washed over her features.
"Certainly, Jeff." she said hesitantly. I took a deep breath. If there was ever a time to be a man, it was now!
"Mordin says you've been having...feelings." I started slowly. EDI's eye's widened at this.
"Well, that is..." she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and tried to calm down. "Perhaps."
"You aren't sure?"
I sighed, this wasn't going to get me anywhere.
"Please forgive me, Jeff. Things have been...confusing for me." EDI said, avoiding my gaze.
"You told Mordin about these things right? Why not me?" EDI finally looked up, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Why...?" she repeated. I nodded.
"Yes, why? I'm your friend right?" I said, a warm smile finding its way onto my lips. EDI looked away once again, her expression was of hurt.
"You are, but that must be all." she said softly.
"I am but a machine, Jeff." she said harshly, staring at me with burning frustration in her eyes. "I am a machine, nothing more. So please do not pretend I am more than that. Please do not over-step your boundaries." her voice cracked and it looked like she was going to cry. No, she was still only made of metal. Though Mordin had said it was organic...just how organic was this body? I shook my head.
"No, EDI." I said stubbornly. She clenched her fists and I saw a tear roll down her face. Her fists instantly released as another tear fell. Her hands flew to her eyes, her fingertips feeling the foriegn substance streaming down her cheeks. Fear flooded her eyes, along with large tears that glistened in the ship's dim lighting. I stood quickly, almost too quickly, as she slid down to the floor rubbing at her eyes, her entire body shaking with fear. I kneeled beside her and took her wrists in hand so she'd look at me. "J-Jeff..?" she stuttered. "Whats...happening to me?" she blinked two fat tears out of her eyes as she stared into mine.
"Are you scared, EDI?" I asked in a low voice. "What do you feel?" I asked again after she didn't answer. Another tear fell. I pushed my worry away and gave her a warm smile. "You're scared." I said more forcefully. She couldn't describe something like this, and I shouldn't expect her to.
"Jeff...I..." EDI shook her head. My hands let go of her wrists and slid into her palms, holding her hands firmly. "This...is wrong." she whispered, closing her eyes tight. I wrapped my arms around her, only because she deserved to know what it felt like. She'd done this for me so many times before.
"I don't think so." I said. EDI nestled her head in my shoulder. "No matter what anyone says, you can feel. You can think for yourself, just like me or anyone else on htis ship. You are not simply a program." I said, feeling EDI grip my shirt. "You have life." I held EDI like that for some time until the tears stopped. She pulled away slowly, looking me in the eyes. I wiped away a few stray tears and smiled. It felt good to give back to the one who had made me feel so safe for so long.
"Do you truly believe that I, a machine...can love?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
"I believe you can do whatever you so damn please." I answered. EDI smiled, her hand squeezing mine lightly. I leaned in closer, earning a nice blue blush from EDI.
"Jeff...this would be my first." she said softly, catching onto my antics. My smile widened.
"Thats fine with me." I said, leaning my forehead against hers. Her skin was warm with embarrassment. She slowly eased out of her apprehension, and are lips brushed against each other. I pressed in firm and stole her first kiss.
Hey there! Wow, I am so proud of myself for finishing this so quickly! Well, this fic appears to be comming to a close. I hope you all enjoyed it. I might add some "just for fun" chapters, but I'm not sure yet. Oh, and I'm hoping to mayber rope my sister/one of my friends into writing some sex to top of this rather succeful story. (I'm very not confident in my smut-writing-abilities.) I would really like some sex for them. X3
So tell me what you thought of EDI and her...emotional-ness. It felt natural to me, but I dunno. Maybe I'm just insane and this was a terrible chapter. I'll never know until you review!
Also, thank you to all of the people who have reviewed so far. It really keeps my lazy ass writing! Now go, go, go review~!