(A/N: I had the writing bug bite me again and I couldn't help but write the same story in Zack's POV. I wanted to write his emotions, because he hardly ever shows them in the show. Anyway, I hope you like it. Read and Review, please. ~Ellivia22~)
Disclaimer: I don't own Suite Life, but I sure wish I did
All I Need
The cold air whips across me as I walk around the ship. It's midnight, way past curfew, but whatever. Since when did I ever care about the rules? Well there was the time I was the hall monitor, but that's not the point.
I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind. I keep thinking about Cody. Ever since he and Bailey broke up he's been pulling himself further and further away from me. I hardly ever see him anymore, and when I do I can tell how miserable he is. His face is always pale, dark circles under his eyes. His eyes are bloodshot and red and it looks like he's stopped eating. I'm so worried about him that I can barely sleep myself, but I don't know what to do to help him. I've never been good at comforting people, even the person I care about the most.
I close my eyes tight, my hand running through my blonde hair nervously. I'd do anything to see him happy again, to see him smile. There's got to be a way to snap him out of this. Somehow. Sighing, I open my eyes again and continue walking. I turn a corner, still deep in thought.
I stop dead in my tracks. My eyes widen, my heart racing in my chest. I can't believe my eyes. A lone figure in a dark blue T-shirt is sitting on the railing of the S.S. Tipton. The figure is sitting way too close to the edge. I'd recognize that person anywhere. It's my twin brother, Cody. What in the hell is he doing?
A bad feeling starts to consume me. As I stare at my brother I start to have a good idea what he's planning to do. I had no idea that his pain was so bad that he wants to die. It kills me seeing him like this. My chest tightens in pain and anxiety. My body is shaking so badly I can barely stand. What am I going to do? I think to myself desperately. I can't lose him. He's all I have.
I try to be as quiet as possible as I approach him. If I startle him, he might go ahead and jump before I can stop him.
Just as I reach him, he starts to let go. Quickly I wrap my arms around his skinny frame and pull him towards me. Cody fights hard to pull himself off the boat, but luckily I'm much stronger. I pull him back onto the ship. We hit the ground hard, him on top of me. I sigh in relief, thanking my lucky stars that I managed to grab him in time. To make sure he doesn't go anywhere I wrap my arms tightly around him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Cody?" I whisper harshly in his ear.
"What does it look like?" Cody snarls, struggling hard against my grip. "I'm offing myself. Now LET GO OF ME!"
He pulls back his elbow and hits me hard in the stomach. I grunt in pain, slightly winded. He pulls himself out of my embrace. I'm starting to feel really sick. My heart is pounding hard in my chest, the fear starting to consume me like a thick blanket. He really doesn't want to live. I'm NOT going to let him do this!
Quickly I tackle him to the ground. To prevent him from moving I place my knees on his chest. My hands grasp his shaking wrists firmly and pin them to the ground.
"LET GO OF ME!" Cody cries desperately, his voice rich in pain. "LET GO OF ME! LET-."
I stare at my brother for a long time. His pale face shows agonizing pain, his eyes desperate for the pain to end. I should've known his pain was this bad. I'm his twin, after all. I know him better than anybody else. The lump starts building in my throat. He has no idea that I would totally go crazy if I lost him. A tear falls down my face. I'm offing myself. Now LET GO OF ME! Another tear rolls down my face. As I stare in his lifeless eyes, the tears come pouring out from mine. For once I don't stop them.
Cody finally calms down and stops struggling under my grip. I don't want to ask this question, but I know I have to. I have to know why. "Why would you do this, Cody?"
"H-how did you know where I was?" he asks hoarsely.
My body is shaking from anger and pain. I dig my knees harder into his chest. He groans in pain, but I ignore it. "I didn't! I was just walking around when I saw my little brother about to become shark bait. Now answer me! Why would you do that?"
"To make the world better!" Cody shouts back, tears falling freely down his pale face. "Bailey can find a guy who will treat her better than I did. You can be an only child just like you want to be! You'll never have to put up with your embarrassing brother anymore. Now LET GO OF ME!"
The tears are coming so fast from my eyes that they are burning. I so badly want to wipe them away, but I don't dare let go of my brother's wrists. I can't believe he feels this way. You'll never have to put up with your embarrassing brother anymore. I choke on a sob. "What makes you think my life would be better without you?"
He glares at me. "How many times have you told me you hated me? How many times have you told me you wished you were an only child? How many times have you told others you have an embarrassing brother?" I look away in guilt. "It's happened so many times that I've lost count and you know what? It hurts me every time you put me down so YES I know your life would be better without me!"
Shame and guilt flows though my veins. Each word he says is like a punch in the face. I deserve it, because it's true. I've never treated my brother like he deserves. "You don't think I care about you?"
Cody rolls his eyes. "I KNOW you don't!"
I suddenly notice that Cody's breathing is strained and I know it's not just from the emotional pain he's feeling. I am suddenly aware that my knees have been digging hard into his ribcage. I better get off him before I crush his ribs. I get off his chest and sit beside him. I pull him up to a sitting position still keeping a firm grip on his hands.
I stare hard into his blue-green eyes. I've go to get him to understand that I truly do care about him. I just show it differently than he does. He has to know that I love him more than anything in the world. I take a deep breath then speak. The pain is so sharp, my voice comes out in a choked whisper.
"For the first time in your life, Cody, you're finally wrong. Despite of what you think I DO care about you. I care about you so much that I ate a whole goat!" My stomach churns in nausea just by the memory. I ignore the feeling and continue. "I care about you so much that I was willing to sacrifice my one and only A to you when I could've FINALLY beaten you at something! I care about you so much I was wiling to buy you a boring telescope with our birthday money. I care about you so much that I would gladly die for you!"
My eyes are burning so bad I can't stand it any longer. Even though my brother is still unstable I let go of his hands and turn away from him. I'm still ready to tackle him again if he tries to go anywhere or do anything.
Cody sighs. "I've been so messed up from the break up with Bailey that I haven't been able to think straight. The pain has been so bad that I've forgotten all the good things you've done for me and focused on the bad. I'm sorry, Zack. For everything."
I turn to look back at my brother. The pain on his face has been replaced by guilt. I wipe the tears off my face again, not caring if it has no effect. He's not the only one at fault here. I know I have to apologize too.
I wrap my arms around Cody and hold him tightly against me. I can feel his pounding heart. He hugs me back just as tightly. I rub his back, hoping to soothe him. "I'm sorry too, little brother. I'm sorry I hurt you with all my insults. I never mean them. From now on I'll try to be more supportive and there for you no matter what."
We pull away slightly, our arms still around each other. "And I promise to come to you if I ever need anything." Cody says quietly.
I grab his shoulders and stare at him firmly. I know I won't be able to sleep properly until I have his word that he won't scare me like that ever again. "Promise me one more thing. Promise me you won't do anything stupid like that again. I love you so much, Cody, and I'd go out of my mind if I lost you."
Cody smiles at me, a true genuine smile. "I promise. I love you too, Zack."
His promise eases the tightness in my chest. I hug him tightly once more. I'm not willing to let him go. He is all I need. As I feel Cody calming down completely I make a solemn promise to myself. I'm going to be there for my brother and protect him from everything, even himself. No matter what.