"Damn it!" Paulo punched his locker hard, leaving a small dent and a throbbing sensation in his fist. Ever since that night with Jessica, he hadn't been able to get what they had done out of his mind. It wasn't the sex itself. He'd messed around with girls before. So what if that was the first time he'd gone all the way... Something wasn't right...
"I was just under the impression that you knew what you were doing."
He did know what he was doing. But it felt wrong. Something inside him just kept saying it over and over. He let his head fall against the steel door of the damaged locker and sighed. "Maybe it was guilt..." He mused quietly to himself.
"What are you guilty about this time?" Mike's voice snapped Paulo out of his stupor. He shook his head and glared at his friend.
"Like it's any of your business." He scoffed, folding his arms and looking away. "Besides. I'm not guilty of anything. I'm just thinking out loud." He huffed a little, noticing that Mike wasn't buying it. "What's it to you anyway?" Mike shook his head.
"No need to get all defensive. I was just looking out for you." He shrugged and rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Jeez. Everyone's so on edge lately..." Paulo sighed. He didn't know why, but Mike had a way of dropping his defences.
"I had sex with Jessica..." He admitted, looking down and away from his friend. A look of shock crossed Mike's face, as he stood frozen on the spot.
"You... You WHAT?" The blue Korat took a step backwards, trying to ground himself into reality again. His eyes locked onto Paulo again. "Why would you do that?" His voice was broken and shaky.
"Look. I was drunk. She asked me to, and I obliged." He continued to refuse to look at Mike, partly out of shame, but also from pure stubbornness. The young cat didn't know how to respond. He knew that Paulo was rash, but he didn't think he would go so far with someone he barely knew. "But Mike..." Paulo's words interrupted his train of thought.
"Something didn't feel right... And I don't mean like, I felt bad for doing her. It just... It felt wrong you know?" He finally looked up at Mike, the concern on his face was genuine, and it made the Korat's own expression soften somewhat.
"W-well... Maybe you were right. Maybe it was just guilt. You must have subconsciously known that what you were doing was wrong." It was a strange situation indeed. Mike never though he would be trying to console Paulo of all people. Especially not about sex.
"Maybe..." His voice was drained of energy. The hope that maybe Mike would have an insight into the situation that he hadn't thought of himself was diminished. Suddenly, he was taken off guard. Mike wrapped his arms around the red furred Somali's torso, and patted him on the back.
"You're an idiot and a fool... But I'm here if you need me" That was all Mike said. He let go of Paulo and picked up his things, then left with a comforting smile. Paulo slid to his knees on the cold school floor, a look of shock frozen on his face.
"Wh-what... What's going on?" He murmured to himself. His heartbeat was racing, and his body felt numb. "Why?" His voice choked in his own throat. Something was very, very wrong. With every ounce of will power he had, he forced himself to his feet, and raced home.
-==Later That Night==-
Paulo sat in the centre of his bed. His knees tucked tightly under his arms as he stared into his mirror across the room. The face that looked back at him seemed mocking. Like it judging him. Calling him out. Mike's face flashed in the reflection, causing Paulo to tighten his grip.
"Why... Why..." He kept repeating the word to himself over and over again. Why was he so fixated on that damn blue cat. What was so special about that jerk. He remembered the reassuring hug, and his heart struck his ribs with almost painful force.
"No..." It was obvious. But he wouldn't have it. Not one iota. He would not believe that for even a second. Under his bed... His stash of girly magazines. He lunged himself to the edge of his bed and stared under it, grabbing the first one he could see. He pulled it out and opened it to a random page. A centre fold, spreading herself wide, almost begging the reader to fill her up. It was one of his favourites.
The rubbing motions aroused the sleeping steeple, and he set to work. He was going to prove that he was a lover of women! He stroked back and forth, harder than he ever had before. But even though the sensation remained as it always had, his heart just wasn't in it. No matter how hard he might try, he couldn't keep going. His whole body seemed to deflate and tire, despite the fact that he should be filled with vigour.
"What's wrong with me?" His voice was punctuated with slight sobs, tears welling in his eyes. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He cried out as he hurled the magazine across the room in a fit of rage. His tears refused to stop flowing, his voice breaking apart at the seams. Paulo burred his face into his pillow, and slowly cried himself to sleep.
-==The Next Day==-
Distraught. Angry. Fearful. Paulo's emotions were being thrown around like a sheet in a tumble dryer. Try as he might, he couldn't successfully hide them either, which had been causing his friends to continually ask him if he was alright and the like. Every time he shrugged it off nervously, and prayed that they didn't know. That they didn't see it in him.
Lunch came, and everybody sat down at the table. Lost in thought, Paulo took the longest to get his food, and found that the only set left was the one right next to Mike. He bit his bottom lip hard. He couldn't do it. Not after yesterday. "Ummm... I'm gonna go eat outside actually..." He announced with a nervous smile.
"I'll come with you then!" David shouted as he stood up excitedly.
"No!" Paulo shouted, causing the entire table to fall silent. "Umm... I mean... Not today... I just need some time alone alright. I gotta... Uhhh... Gotta collect my thoughts ya know?" His response did nothing to dissipate the group's suspicious stare. But none the less, they didn't stop him from leaving.
"Maybe someone should go check on him?" Daisy thought out loud to the group as their friend trudged slowly outside.
"Leave him be Daisy" Mike shot a glance at her across the table. "If he says he needs time alone to think, then let him think." He then started to eat, and refused to elaborate any further. The rest of the group decided to heed their friend's advice and leave Paulo be for the time being.
Outside, Paulo stood next to a tree that had been planted on the outskirts of the school yard. A great place to go if you didn't want company. He just stood there, holding his tray, shaking slightly. "Damn it..." He muttered. "God fucking damn it!" He hurled the tray to the ground and swung the bottom of his fist out sideways, slamming it into the trunk of the tree.
Tears began to well in his eyes again. He fought them with everything he had, and managed to stifle all but a few. The sound of footsteps on grass forced him to wipe the evidence off his face, but he didn't turn around. "Go away." He said firmly.
"He has you too huh?" An unfamiliar voice sighed softly. Paulo spun around on the spot, balling his hand into a fist and glaring at the person.
"What'd you just say?" He shouted. Though Paulo hadn't met him before, the boy standing there was a friend of Mike's named Carson.
"Now now... No need to be so hostile honey" Carson waved his finger in a 'tut tut' fashion. "I saw you and Mike yesterday." Paulo's eyes bolted open, a cold sweat suddenly started to cover his body. "But more importantly... I saw how you reacted."
Paulo's instincts took over. He grabbed Carson by the collar and yanked him close. "Just what the hell do you mean by that?" He snarled. Carson shook his head and gently placed his hands on Paulo's clenched fist.
"It's alright... I understand that this is all new to you." His demeanour had changed significantly. He was smiling softly... It felt familiar. The same kind of feeling he got when Mike smiled at him. It was calming to a certain degree. "Look hun. I know what you're going through. I've been there. But while I had to go it alone, you don't." He pulled a small scrap of paper out of his pocket and held it up to Paulo. "If you find yourself with nowhere left to turn. Come visit me." He gave a slightly cheeky wink as Paulo finally let go of the flamboyant boy's collar.
As Carson walked away, Paulo noticed the way his scarf fluttered in the wind behind him. A slight blush crossed his face, and he stared in awe for a moment before he realised just what he was doing. He shook his head and slapped himself. Realising that he still had the scrap of paper, smoothed it out and read it.
The name's Carson. Come to my house at the address below and we'll talk further.
58 Barsoma Dr
He was furious about this. Who the hell did this Carson guy think he was? Acting like he knew what the hell he was going through. Paulo decided that he bwould/b go and visit this jerk, if only to give him a piece of his mind.
"50... 52... 54... Ah! 58 Barsoma Drive." Paulo double checked the scrap of paper, making sure he had the right place. He walked up to the front porch and rang the doorbell.
"Who iiiiiis iiiiiit?" The sing song voice of Carson rang out as his footsteps pattered towards the door.
"It's me." Paulo said in a rather bland voice. Although he had originally decided to go there to yell at Carson, the truth was that he didn't know what he was doing. What was going on. He couldn't talk to David about it. And he definitely couldn't talk to Mike. So maybe Carson would have answers for him.
The door slid open, and Carson leapt through it, crash tackling Paulo with a hug. "Paulo! You came!" He seemed genuinely ecstatic to see him. Paulo pushed Carson off him, but blushed all the same.
"Yeah yeah... Let's just get this over." He looked around to make sure no one was watching. "And can we get inside before someone sees me here?" He asked nervously.
"Of course, of course. Come in! Mi Casa es Su Casa." He winked as he motioned for the young cat to enter ahead of him while he closed the door behind them. Inside the house was extremely clean and well decorated. Carson grinned. "You like? I decorated it myself. My parent's don't mind because of how clean I keep the house" He giggled a little.
"It's uhhh... It's nice..." Paulo wasn't really paying attention. He was lost in thought. What was he doing here? Asking Carson to help him?
I must be going insane. That's the only explanation.
Paulo sighed heavily. "Heh. So. Straight to the serious stuff huh?" Carson asked with a slight smirk. He kept bouncing between his bubbly stereotypical demeanour and his more serious and knowing one. It was somewhat disconcerting to Paulo.
"Look. You said I should come see you if I had nowhere else to turn. Well, I'm here. Now what?" He scowled slightly at Carson, still untrusting. Still so very angry at himself, much less anyone else.
"Now, you admit it."
"That you're attracted to your friend Mike"
"WHAT?" Paulo freaked. Was it because he hadn't expected such bluntness? Because it was so ludicrous to even think it? Or simply because...
"Y... Yes... I am..." Carson was right, and Paulo couldn't deny it. His shoulders sank and he felt himself begin to tear up again. "I just... I don't know what to do... I'm supposed to be a playboy! Getting with all the hot chicks!" He turned away from Carson. "But now... Now I don't know what I'm supposed to be..." He sniffled a little.
For the second time, he felt another man wrap their arms around him. "Shhhh. It's ok. Let it out..." Carson's voice cooed softly, which strangely enough felt comforting. Paulo couldn't explain it. And so he didn't try to. He turned and placed his face on Carson's shoulder and sobbed softly.
"Who am I any more? What do I do?" Carson stroked the back of Paulo's head softly, rocking back and forth gently. "I'm just so damn scared..." It didn't really matter who he was talking to any more. The floodgates were open, and Paulo was pouring his heart out.
For a good half hour, Carson simply listened to Paulo vent into his shoulder as tried his best to give a sympathetic ear to the poor boy. But finally, his sobs slowed, and he lifted his face to look at his new found friend. Before he could say another word, Carson leaned in and sealed his lips around Paulo's, kissing him tenderly.
The shock that came from this action passed quicker than Paulo might have expected. It was a nice feeling. Much nicer than any of the kisses he had ever shared with anyone before. He pulled back after a moment, blushing and breathing more heavily than before.
"Mike might not understand... But I do. I was infatuated with him. I once thought I loved him. But he is forever chasing a distant dream. I don't think he will ever change in that way." Carson stroked Paulo's cheek gently and smiled. "But you and I... Maybe... Just maybe there might be something here." He smiled slightly nervously for the first time, blushing a little.
Paulo could feel his heart beating faster again. His head felt lighter, and he began to feel slightly faint. "I don't know... I don't think..."
"Don't think." Carson interrupted him, placing his finger on Paulo's lips. "Just do whatever your heart tells you to. Follow your feelings." Paulo blushed even deeper, but he did not dare do anything. Carson smiled a caring smile.
He placed a hand against Paulo's chest and softly rubbed it back and forth, letting his fur run through his fingers. Paulo couldn't help but let out a soft sound from the back of his throat, but he quickly covered his mouth. Carson chuckled at his embarrassed friend. "Come on. My room is just down the hallway. We can sit and talk... Watch a movie... Or..." He blushed again. "It's up to you..."
Paulo's breathing became a little faster, more shallow. "Ummm... S-sure..." He stammered out. They walked down the hall and into Carson's room, where they closed the door and stood there awkwardly for a moment. Carson knew that Paulo wasn't ready to make any moves, but he didn't want to push him into something he didn't want. It was a dilemma, but none the less, he had to make a choice.
His hands slid sensually across Paulo's back, causing the Somali to shiver a little. Slipping his hands over the young boys shoulders, he pulled him closer, pressing his chest to Paulo's bare back. "If you don't try it... How will you know?"
Paulo slid his hands up and gently gripped Carson's arms. "I'm afraid..."
"I'll be gentle..." Paulo turned around and faced him. Biting his lip, he looked away a little, still embarrassed by such an unexpected turn of events. Carson leaned forward and nibbled his neck a little, forcing another soft noise from Paulo. A whisper in his ear... "Help me undress stud..."
His hands were on auto pilot, not listening to his commands. They slipped down and started to slide Carson's shirt up, helping him pull it over his scarf, and off his head. "You know... It's normally easier to take a scarf off first..." Carson teased.
"Leave..." His voice was near silent. "Leave it on..." Carson's eyebrow raised a little for a moment, but then it struck him.
"Alright... Just this once" He winked with a cheeky grin. Paulo blushed a deep shade of red. Carson chuckled as he placed his fingers against Paulo's chest, and pushed him backwards onto the bed. He turned around and shoved his ass out towards Paulo as he slipped his pants off, waving his bare cheeks at him. Paulo felt his crotch start to tingle a little. "Like what you see?" Carson grinned.
"Sh-shut up..." Paulo looked away quickly, but he couldn't help it. He was starting to get hard just looking at Carson's shapely male figure. With a grin, the brown cat slid onto the bed and rolled his fingertip along the area where Paulo's manhood hid away. The gentle sensation was almost tickling, but it felt so good. Paulo was paralysed and began to pant a little.
His member inched out slowly, the slight rubbing sensation from Carson forcing it to fill with blood. "Mmmmm... Looks good enough to eat" Carson grinned as Paulo fell down onto his back. The brown cat slid a single finger up the length of the shaft, feeling it pulse inadvertently with each slight movement.
"D-don't tease me like that..." Paulo's head rose up and stared down at his partner in crime who grinned widely. Carson softly flicked his finger off the tip of it's head, drawing a gasp from Paulo.
"What's the magic word dear?" Carson traced a circle around the tip, driving Paulo crazy. He grabbed a pillow and clamped it hard over his face. "Tisk tisk... It's no fun if you don't play along..." Carson pretended to frown. "But, since it's your first time..." Paulo peaked out from under the pillow and looked at Carson with bid puppy dog eyes. Carson felt his own heart flutter at this and blushed. "So... Cute..." He muttered.
"What?" Paulo asked quietly, slightly confused. But Carson didn't reply. He leant down and kissed the tip of Paulo's rod. The feeling of his lips... It was unlike anything he had ever felt. Paulo's body started to shake. Fear and anticipation filled him. He didn't want to be gay... But why did it feel so right?
His mind went blank, and his stomach tightened, as he felt Carson's warm mouth sucking him inside, his tongue rolling over it liberally. "Ah! Ahh... Ahh!" He couldn't help it, his voice had a mind of it's own. His sight was going fuzzy, it felt so good.
Carson rolled his hand under the shaft, and felt Paulo's balls gently. They too had come out of hiding with his arousal. He rolled them up and down as he lovingly sucked away. The full frontal assault on Paulo's senses was getting a little too much for him. Carson let his saliva cover the shaft liberally, almost too much so, as some dribbled down past Paulo's thighs.
"N-no! I'm going to... Not in a man's..." His words were muddled, although he protested, his hips had began to move on their own. He rolled back and forth, pressing his piece against the roof of Carson's mouth. "It's coming!" He cried out. Carson knew this was his chance. As he felt the hard shaft tense up in his mouth, he slid a finger into Paulo's rear, using the saliva as a lubricant. He bent it upward, and pressed against Paulo's prostate, causing him to cry out louder as he felt his hot juices exploding forth into Carson's mouth. "Oh gods!" He cried out as his back arched, his hands clamping down onto the back of Carson's head.
Paulo felt drained. His head was dizzy, a euphoria filling him, making him feel like he was floating high above the bed below him. Carson slid his naked body up the length of Paulo's own and clamped his lips down on his. No ordinary kiss, Paulo felt a warm salty liquid fill his mouth and flow down his throat. He coughed and spluttered after having accidentally swallowed it. "What was? Was that my?" He stammered.
"Like it?" Carson asked with a cheeky smile. Paulo wiped his lips and tried to spit. Carson chuckled a little. "I guess it's not for everyone" He winked. Paulo glared at him, somewhat annoyed at having been forced to drink his own seed. Carson rubbed his crotch against Paulo though, and he felt something new.
"Ohhh... That's kind of nice..." He moaned a little. Looking down, he saw Carson's sizeable member rubbing against his own, more reasonably sized one. "W-wow! That's big..." Paulo swallowed hard, not sure what to do now.
"How did it feel?" The brown cat asked, rubbing his knee against Paulo's ass. He blushed deeply and looked away. "You didn't like it?" He asked, trying his hardest to look disappointed.
"No... I... I did..." He admitted quietly. Feeling very vulnerable and exposed. Carson slid back a little and rubbed the opening gently with his finger tip, causing Paulo to moan a little more.
"Roll over. I promise you'll enjoy yourself" Carson winked knowingly, and although Paulo's mind told him not to. That this was the ultimate surrender to this feeling inside him. He obeyed Carson's request, and got onto his hands and knees. "Good boy..." Carson cooed. He reached over to his bedside table and removed a bottle of KY Jelly. He applied the lubricant to Paulo's ring gently. The cool goo causing Paulo's spine to shiver from the sensation.
Carson started to lubricate his member with one hand. His other, slipped a finger back into Paulo's entrance, gently rolling around and making the hole slippery and ready for entry. "P-please..." Paulo looked back at him with begging eyes. "Please... Be gentle..." He couldn't make eye contact. It was too embarrassing.
Carson teased Paulo's entrance, pressing against it carefully with his head, bringing out small moans from the Somali. "Now just relax darling... It'll feel a little uncomfortable at first... But I promise you, there's nothing in the world like it." He started to push more forcefully now, and slowly, the tight ring started to expand, opening up little by little, until finally, Carson's head slid in.
"Ow!" Paulo cried out.
"Calm down... The hard part's over. Just take it easy and don't tense up too much." Paulo nodded weakly, trying his best not to let his body take over and clamp his rear shut. Carson slowly and gently slid himself in deeper. Inch by inch, he pushed into Paulo. This time, he let out a single long moan that matched the slow assault on his insides. It was uncomfortable indeed. But not unpleasant.
"C-carson..." His voice pricked up Carson's ears. He looked down to see tears forming in Paulo's eyes.
"I'm... I'm sorry!" Carson apologises as he started to pull out, but Paulo reached back and grabbed the brown cat's arm.
"Don't! Don't stop..." He blushed deeply. "Please... Make me feel good... Make me forget about the rest of the world..." His sincerity... His cute little face... Carson felt his heart flutter again.
"Anything you say darling..." He smiled cutely. This had started as just an attempt to have some fun... But the more he progressed, the more Paulo was growing on him. He started to slide back and forth slowly, the wet sound of his hips contacting with Paulo's rear creating a sort of soothing rhythm. Paulo moaned quietly, feeling his prostate being rubbed was making his own manhood harden once more.
"Oh Carson... Yes... Don't stop..." His voice was broken up between heavy panting. His whole body was convulsing from the sensation. The long hard pole thrust into him faster, as Carson started to pant himself. He leaned over and grabbed hold of Paulo's rod, and began to pump away at it. The double assault was proving to be too much for Paulo. "Oh gods!" His face buried into the bed as his moans turned to shouts, Carson's own voice chiming in.
"P-paulo!" Carson cried out.
"Yes! Me too!" He replied, anticipating Carson's words. They both let out a simultaneous cry, as Carson pumped Paulo's ass full of his seed, while Paulo's fired out across the sheets of the bed...
For the longest time, they stayed glued together as they were, unmoving, just breathing heavily, while Carson held Paulo tight from behind. "Hey Carson..." Paulo finally asked quietly.
"Yes?" His reply was slightly nervous. He didn't know how the young red furred cat would react.
"Would you... Umm... Would you like to maybe... Maybe go out sometime... Like... Like a date?" Paulo blushed deeply. He couldn't believe that he was actually asking a guy out. But then, considering his current position, maybe that wasn't such a strange thing any more...
"Oh Paulo..." Carson rubbed his cheek against the cat's back lovingly. "Nothing would make me happier..." Paulo's lips curled into a slight smile.
"Thank you... For everything..." He whispered softly. Carson did not reply. He just nuzzled into his new found lover's back.
It had been a confusing couple of days for Paulo. And maybe things had gone way too fast. But he didn't really mind. He had always been one to take the bull by the horns so to speak. It would be a tough road ahead if he was going to live this new lifestyle. But thankfully, he wouldn't have to walk that road alone...