I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated ANYTHING, but there's some hectic stuff going on, and my mind isn't really focused on writing. I'm sorry, and I'll try my best to update the other stories that need it, but for now hopefully this'll calm you slightly. The next add on for the Rei-Senzai Inc. Tale. KakaIru Edition.
(P.S- The steps here are of my own making, and there is no guarantee they actually work, I was just spweing them for the sake of the story, so if you are crazy and choose to try them...don't hate me if they fail epically...)
Warnings: minor swearing.
Kakashi sighed, slumping into the couch he was seated on and staring mournfully at the empty cup of coffee sitting on the table beside him.
It was quite early in the morning only a day or two after they arrived at the orphanage, and so far this job hadn't been all that exciting but for one or two oddities that were resolved or explained.
To put it mildly, Kakashi was bored. He was starting to think that this would just turn out like a majority of his other jobs, where it turned out to be something stupid and false.
Of course, there were the times when they'd been faced with something real, however, during those times none of the other members had been called with. It had always been him, Itachi and Kisame, and Sasori and Deidara that had dealt with the real threats. The other members had been sent back before the final fight; hence they hadn't really been exposed to anything.
The only ones who had been exposed were Neji and Lee, but even then they hadn't dealt with anything dangerous.
Kiba had seen his fair share of animal spirits, but none of them had been violent.
Kakashi was snapped out of his memories of the time he'd been chased around the pet cemetery by the playful spirit of a puppy when someone sat down across from him and tossed something onto his lap.
Looking down he saw a notepad with a short list on it. Reading the first thing on the list made him quirk an eyebrow and he looked up questioningly at Jiraiya, who was grinning at him.
"Uh...Jiraiya-sama, what is this?" Kakashi asked slowly.
Jiraiya grinned even more. "This, my friend, is a list that shall be appearing in the newest Icha Icha book." He said.
Kakashi snapped up, grabbing the notepad and reading the list eagerly. "It is? I'm getting a preview!" he asked excitedly, all boredom gone.
Jiraiya chuckled and nodded. "I overheard that young worker of yours- I think Sasuke was his name? - talking to one of his friends about how much you enjoy my books. So I thought I'd give my loyal fan a little snippet." He explained, smiling.
Kakashi made two mental notes.
One: kick Sasuke for talking about him behind his back.
Two: hug Sasuke for talking about him behind his back.
"Thank you sir!" he said, reading the list with wide eyes.
Jiraiya laughed and stood again. "And who knows? Perhaps you might find those useful." He said, winking before leaving the room.
Kakashi studied the list carefully, noting the title.
"Five steps to get your true love." He mumbled.
His thoughts flashed to Iruka, and he smiled beneath his mask.
This might be interesting.
Step 1: Firstly, you need to find your true love. If you already know who it is, then you need to track them down and 'coincidentally' run into them.
Kakashi searched the whole first floor for Iruka, but he hadn't found him, so he was now on the second floor, peeking into each room as he went.
He opened door number one and saw the three young boys of the orphanage sleeping. He quickly closed the door and carried on, not wanting to wake the little ones. The next produced the same result, with the three young girls. He noticed vaguely that little Chi Dori seemed to be missing, but didn't dwell on it. She probably just needed the bathroom or something.
He continued this way, with no luck. Eventually he opened one door, hoping he would find Iruka.
Instead he found himself looking into a pair of very deadly jade green eyes.
"O-oh good morning Gaara-kun!" he said cheerfully, not liking the murderous look he was receiving from the broody teen.
Gaara glared at him before walking over and closing the door shut with a snap.
Kakashi wiped his forehead in relief and continued.
He searched the entire second floor, and even the third, but he just couldn't find Iruka anywhere.
'How am I supposed to conveniently run into him if I can't even find him?' he mentally whined as he trudged dejectedly down the stairs.
'I thought it'd be easy to do the first step! But I can't even run into him, how can I-' Kakashi walked into someone, stumbling a bit before a hand shot out to grab his arm and stop his fall.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Kakashi-san!"
Kakashi blinked, looking into the concerned chocolate brown eyes of Iruka. He smiled.
"Hello, Iruka-san. Funny running into you here!" he joked. Iruka chuckled.
'Thank you, Gods of Yaoi, for taking mercy upon my seme soul.' Kakashi silently prayed.
Step 2: Once you've found them, you need to gain their interest and put formalities behind you.
Kakashi looked over Iruka, admiring him secretly. "Are you okay, Iruka-san? I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked.
Iruka smiled and shook his head. "Not at all."
Kakashi sighed, relieved, his eye closing with a happy smile. "I'm glad." He opened his eye and saw Iruka making to walk away and panicked quickly. "Ah, where are you off to?" he asked hurriedly.
Iruka looked at him. "I was just on my way to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. I assume you want some, Kakashi-san?"
Kakashi nodded before waving his hand. "Please, Iruka-san, the formalities aren't necessary. Just call me Kakashi." He said.
Iruka gave a small smile. "If you insist, Kakashi." He said as he started walking down the hallway.
Kakashi followed. "Oh, I do insist, Iruka." He said cheerfully.
Iruka glanced at him. "I don't believe I said you could drop the formalities when it came to addressing me." He said blankly.
Kakashi stumbled a bit, his mouth gaping in surprise and, due to this; he missed the amused smile adorning Iruka's face, or the laughing glint in his brown eyes as he walked into the kitchen to prepare the coffee.
Step 3: You need to keep your partner amused so as to keep their attention. Jokes and interesting topics and stories are a good way to do this. However, don't make them all about you!
"-and then I simply climbed up the drainpipe, grabbed the small little fuzz ball and brought it back down to the crying little girl." Kakashi finished proudly. Iruka laughed good naturedly and patted his shoulder from where he stood next to the still boiling kettle.
"You're such a good story teller, Kakashi. I almost believed all of that!" he said smiling.
Kakashi slumped slightly. "But...it was actually one of my few true stories." He mumbled too low for Iruka to hear him. There was a click as the kettle boiled and Iruka reached over for it.
Kakashi leant back, thinking of what else to say. He'd already told quite a few jokes, and Iruka had taken them all in stride, even the perverted ones.
He took a moment to examine the brunette before him, admiring the tan skin and the scar across his nose. He wondered how he got it and before he could reign in his tact and curiosity he asked.
"Iruka-san, how did you get that scar?" he asked.
Iruka paused slightly in his coffee-making before continuing so smoothly one wouldn't have seen it.
Unless, of course, that one person was Kakashi. He immediately rambled into an apology.
"That is, only if you wish to tell me! It's not my business so if you feel uncomfortable about it I fully understand-"
"It happened when my parents died." Iruka said swiftly, and with a note of finality. Kakashi snapped his mouth shut, knowing that was all the answer he would get and it would be overstepping his boundaries to inquire any further.
Mentally, he was still kicking himself for asking the question in the first place.
"How many sugars would you prefer in your coffee, Kakashi?" Iruka asked kindly, all hints of seriousness and unease gone. Kakashi swallowed and smiled.
"Just one is enough, thanks." He said.
Step 4: Now's the time to start the romance. Flirting and small gestures of affection are what you should try, but remember to respect them.
Iruka finished making the coffee, which totalled to eight cups including Kakashi's. He handed the silver-haired man his cup with a warm smile.
"Here we go, Kakashi."
Kakashi grinned and reached up. He made sure to take the cup in a way that his fingers would brush Iruka's, and let them linger for a moment. "Thank you, Iruka-san." He said softly.
It took all of Kakashi's inner strength not to giggle excitedly at the tiny blush that crossed Iruka's cheeks at the contact, but somehow he managed to contain himself.
Iruka cleared his throat and turned back to the load of cups before him. "Hmm...How to do this..." he murmured to himself. He walked over to a nearby cupboard to find a tray. Upon opening it, however, he let out a frustrated sigh. All the trays were mutilated, cracked or completely broken in half.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "What on earth have those trays been used for?" he asked, half teasing and half curious.
Iruka looked over his shoulder while indicating the broken trays. "This happened when Gai was trying to teach the kids some basic karate moves. Instead of wooden boards, he ended up using these. Let's just say that Naruto, the Sabaku siblings and the twins, along with Sai are a lot stronger than you'd think. Especially Gaara." He then pointed to the cracked trays. "The same with these, only with the younger children. Konohamaru caused quite a bit of damage to his." Finally, he pointed to the disfigured trays and a strange look took over his face. It was a mix between amused and annoyed. Kakashi scooted closer.
"What about those ones?" he prompted. Iruka sighed.
"Those were the result of a prank Naruto pulled on the twins." He said. Kakashi chuckled.
"What was the prank, if I may ask?" he inquired, moving his mask down and taking a sip of his coffee. It tasted like heaven in a cup to him.
"During the early morning, Naruto snuck into the twin's room and somehow managed to superglue Kamurou to his bed." Kakashi snorted into his coffee and quickly set it down.
"He super glued him to the bed?" he confirmed. Iruka nodded, smiling.
"Needless to say, Kao was not pleased to find his brother stuck to his bed and close to tears from struggling. He chased Naruto through the entire mansion and at one point they got into a fight. Kao grabbed a tray while Naruto did the same, and they started beating each other with them. It took Jiraiya, Asuma, myself and Gai to separate them." Iruka sighed at the memory.
There had been quite a bit of bruises and cuts to tend to that night. Not to mention Kao's odd habit of biting. How he'd managed to bite Naruto's ankle was still a mystery to them.
"So that's why there seems to be a face shaped indentation." Kakashi mused, running a finger over one of the trays. Iruka chuckled.
"That was Naruto's doing. He managed to score a good hit."
"You almost sound proud." Kakashi said teasingly, turning to the now stammering brunette.
"I-I'm not! I mean, it was a good hit, but he could've seriously hurt him..." Iruka paused when Kakashi began to laugh.
Kakashi finished his laughter by placing a hand on Iruka's shoulder and smiling at him, his eyes twinkling.
"I'm just kidding, Iruka." He said sweetly. Iruka smiled, his cheeks a little coloured.
"You're so mean, Kakashi." He said playfully. He turned his attention back to the cups and sighed. "How should I carry these to everyone?" he wondered aloud.
Kakashi thought for a moment. "Hmm...What we really need is-"
"Morning." Ino yawned as she walked into the room, Sakura right behind her rubbing sleep from her eyes. Kakashi spun around to greet them.
"Good morning! I have a job for you two!" he said cheerily.
The girls flinched, unconsciously scooting closer together in fear of what their deranged-according to them- boss had planned.
Kakashi motioned the cups of coffee. "Please take these to their rightful recipients for me." He said.
The girls sighed and nodded, waiting for Iruka to explain whose was whose before leaving the kitchen, arms filled with the mugs which they carried carefully.
Iruka beamed at Kakashi. "Thank you, but was that okay? They're young girls after all..." he trailed off.
Kakashi waved his hand dismissively. "It's their job, no need to fret. Besides, those two are a lot stronger than most would think. When Sakura's in a mood, she's able to tear a phone book in half." Kakashi said.
Iruka laughed happily. "That's a funny image. Nice exaggeration." He said.
Kakashi looked him straight in the eye. "The scary thing is, I'm not exaggerating." He deadpanned.
Iruka gulped, looking at the doorway. "...It must be terrifying during 'that' time of the month." He said softly.
Kakashi sighed. "Oh, you have no idea."
Step 5: There's only one more step I can suggest for you and that is the first big step in any relationship. Tell your true love exactly what you feel, and hope they return the feeling. Good luck!
Kakashi read the step over and over from where he was sitting on the couch, one hand holding the notepad and the other hand holding his heavenly coffee. Iruka had left a minute ago due to hearing what sounded like a fight breaking out upstairs. They'd only heard someone shout 'asswipe' before the sound of someone getting socked in the face several times became audible.
Kakashi sighed and leant back after placing his mug of coffee down. He wasn't quite sure how to go about that last step. In all truth, he wasn't sure what he felt for Iruka. Attraction, sure there was no doubt it was there. Lust, hell yeah. Like, indeed. No one couldn't like Iruka; he was just too like-able!
Kakashi wasn't sure. He knew that he felt Iruka was special, but to call the feeling actual love? He'd never actually been in love, so he wasn't sure. And it's not like there were any guide books on what exactly love felt like, so even with all his reading he couldn't identify it.
He was still deep in thought when Iruka came back into the room, looking very agitated and holding a medi-pack. The brunette sat down on the nearest armchair and sighed. Kakashi gave him a once over, pleased to see he hadn't gained any scratches while stopping the scuffle upstairs.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, tilting his head. Iruka nodded slowly, reached up to massage his shoulder.
"Yes. It was Sora and Kao again. Those two fight constantly over everything." He said, grimacing when he found a knot in his muscles.
Kakashi stood up and made his way over, standing behind Iruka and gently moving his hand away to replace it with his own. He began to massage the poor caretaker, who let out an approving groan and closed his eyes. Kakashi smirked beneath his mask, already planning to get as many...interesting noises... as he possibly could.
"Iruka-san, why did you become a caretaker, if I may ask?" He asked as he pushed against a particularly tense muscle. Iruka groaned a bit but found his voice.
"I've always enjoyed working with children, and since I was an orphan, I knew how hard it could be sometimes. I wanted to make a difference if I could." He said slowly.
Kakashi hummed in understanding, leaning against the back of the armchair and letting his fingers slide a little bit up Iruka's neck. The brunette leaned into the touch, whether consciously or not didn't matter to Kakashi.
"Kakashi...what made you want to get into the paranormal business?" Iruka asked suddenly, and Kakashi's hands stilled. He stared down at the head before him, eyes blank as he recalled past events.
Iruka, feeling the odd air around him, cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business." He amended, his face a bit red.
The hands on his shoulders continued suddenly, and Kakashi spoke, his voice light and cheerful, but tinged with slight sadness.
"A friend of mine got me into it. It was his dream to be in the business..." he trailed off, not able to voice the rest, but Iruka understood that silence.
"I'm so sorry." He murmured.
Kakashi chuckled. "It's not a problem. It's in the past now."
Iruka nodded slowly before sighing in happiness when Kakashi found a rather sensitive spot on his shoulder. The silver head smiled down, continuing to rub the area with his thumb since it seemed to make Iruka melt in his hands.
He quite liked that.
'You should tell him now...You don't know what you feel, but it's definitely positive...tell him something. He deserves to know.' His mind said, almost nudging him. He sighed in his head and steeled himself.
There was a loud screech from upstairs, making both men snap their heads up in surprise before voices could be heard from the floor above.
"What the fuck did you call my brother?"
"You heard me you prick!"
"Kao, let go of Sora's neck right now!"
"Shizune, help me separate these two!"
"I'm going to rip your lungs out through your ass, you ash-headed pole-dancing-mangy-good-for-shit-cheese-dick!"
"Kao, watch your language!"
"Oh yeah? Bring it on you cherry-haired ass-kissing-incest-poster-child homo!"
Iruka shot up, almost making Kakashi topple over form the speed before he sped out of the room and up the stairs. "You two stop it right now!" Kakashi heard him yell before the sounds of the fight only increased.
Kakashi sighed, looking at the small note-pad in his hand. He closed his eye and put the small thing in his pocket.
'Guess now's not the right time.' He thought resignedly.