Title: Friend, Foe, or F…mate

Fandom: Bleach

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

Warning: Pairings are random so there will probably be HET/YAOI/YURI, all T though.

Description: Two of the most mischievous shinigami team up to bring a little fun and chaos to the Seireitei by randomly trying to pair up characters as friends, enemies, or love interests. Will they succeed or fail in their challenges? Humor and Romance.

A/N: So you might know the game is usually called F*, kill, or marry: but I like it better this way for story telling reasons. Yes these are actual rolls and random. I hope for everyone's sake that I don't have to romantically pair Omeada with someone or I'm going to burn down the place. Maybe I'll allow myself a free mulligan to use during this story for if that ever happens.

Rules: I will do the rolls at the end of each chapter so you know what the upcoming chapter will contain. I'm considering doing a little bit of time/space warping so that I can include all of our Espada friends in some rolls too, let me know what you think. I'll change the match ups depending (i.e. Humans vs. Shinigami, Espada vs. Captains, Lieutenants vs. Lieutenants, etc.). By the way, feel free to suggest a category if you think of one!

Introduction and Explanation


"Foxy-face," Yachiru said. "Let's do something fun!"

"Like what, tiny-feet?" Gin asked her, leaning back against the tree to shield the sun from his eyes.

"I was thinking of starting a project!"

"A project sounds like work," Gin pointed out.

"Well, it will be workish but considering how much it will annoy everyone I think it'll be worth it," Yachiru answered.

"Hm, I'm listening," Gin said.

"I don't actually have an idea. I thought you could come up with one."

"You got me all excited there for a minute," Gin said, settling back down. "Wait, I do have an idea. It's a variation of a game I used to play as a kid. It's called friend, foe, or f…" he looked at the girl in front of him, "um, mate."

"So, how do we play?"

"Let's see, we'll pick different groups and then roll to get a random pairings."

Yachiru looked slightly perplexed.

"This time we'll do lieutenants vs. captains. So that's twelve lieutenants and thirteen captains," Gin pulled his soul pager out of his pocket. "Ok, I have a program on here that will help us. Ok, first roll is 3…so that's Kira," he frowned a little. If he was going to have to set Kira up with someone he was going to be very put out. "Second roll is 9."

"Haha! This is fun. How do we pick what we're going to do to them?" Yachiru asked.

"The last roll: 1 for friend, 2 for foe, 3 for mate," Gin was starting to doubt his plan already. Having Kira become friends with the uptight Kaname would almost be worse than trying to make them date. Either way he'd have to have the Squad 9 captain around his office. He sighed and hit enter on his phone. "2!" Ok, now he could get into this. Making them hate each other would be a blast. It came with the added bonus of getting to terrorize Kaname himself if he was mean to Gin's lieutenant.