Ehehehe, Is anyone still even here? *crickets chirp*

Well, hello again after almost a year of no updates, I'm back and off of hiatus! (I think... err) I kind of fell out of Hetalia fandom... I still am... but I want to finish this story! It's my baby! Anyway, I wanted to make this chapter long to make up for the fact that I've been gone forever, but I've decided to split this up into two chapters as like a mini-arc. (ITSFILLERFILLERFILLER) This chapter is written without character interruptions because it's not Mathias telling it in class. It's actually him WRITING it at home. And I apologize for the Hungary bashing. Again, I have nothing against her, I actually really like her, but remember this is all from Mathias' POV, and in this universe, they love messing with each other. He basically wrote this to get on her nerves. So I apologize. Though I had fun writing it.

So without any further adieu, here is the long awaited chapter 5 of Denmark's epic story!

Oh yes, and I don't own Hetalia because If I did, I'd be awesome...-er.

And then the whole class gasped at the utter shock of Russia's words! How could he? Why would he want to do that to poor innocent Sweden? The girls Screamed and some ever cried. The boys hung their heads in disappointment and Alfred wept- Because men don't cry, they WEEP- and even Ms. K was at a loss for words. For having that wish, Russia was the most evil, wile, disgusting-!

"Eh, um, Mathias? I'm Sorry, but I'm going to have to stop you there. The period is almost over."

"It is?" Mathias and a few others glanced up at the clock above the door. How could it possible be almost over? He had just started readi- "Oh. It is, ain't it? That's okay! I can read tomorrow, can't I?"

"…Well…" The woman started. Mathias frowned slightly. There it was. The infamous "well" with a pause before AND after. That single word said that way could and would crush the hopes and dreams of the one it was being said to. It had the power to send people into deep depressions , into wars,- Heck, Mathias was pretty sure it started world war II- and even make people so angry, so upset, that they just cant help but reach for the nearest sharp object and just-! Well, we won't go there. But just hearing Ms. Katyusha start her sentence with that word drained any hope that Mathias had of being able to read his simple cute story to his classmates.

"We have to get back to the usual lesson tomorrow…" Mathias hung his head. He knew it. It was all over, and now his chums would never get the hear the rest of Denmark's heroic tale. It needed to be told! It needed to be heard! It was a life changing experience for all who heard it! How could Ms. Katyusha be so cruel? How could she-!


Mathias perked his head up. Wait. There was a "but"? Oh praise the lord! The wonderful and ever so beautiful "but" had saved the day! It was the exact opposite of the horrid "well." It gave hope in dire and desperate situations. It saved peoples' lives, saved relationships and failing grades. It also helped free the slaves! Or at least Mathias thought so. Oh, the word "but" was indeed a great one. But wait. It could always be followed by the terrible "if!" "If" was just as bad as "well!" That meant there was a condition, and usually it's not a fun one.

"I could make time for you at the end of class to read it, how's that sound?" She said with a smile.

Oh, Mathias could just cry! For Ms. Katyusha- that kind woman- did not follow her but with an "if!" She was such a wonderful person! Allowing him to continue to entertain his classmates with his story! He could see the tears in everyone's eyes. They were just as overjoyed as he was, he could tell!

"Really? Thanks so much Ms. K! Eh, um, how much time will I get?"

"Hmm, I'd say about 10 minutes?"

Mathias smiled. "Okay! Thanks again!" He said, just as the bell rang. He ran back over to his seat to get his bag while the other students filed out of the room. When Mathias reached the door, Ms. Katyusha called out to him.

"I really can't wait to hear the rest! Make it good, alright?" She said with a sweet smile and thumbs up.

She really was great. 'Sweetest teacher ever!' Mathias thought.

He turned around and nodded, returning the thumbs up to his teacher. "You got it Ms. K! I'll make it extra good, just for you!" And he walked out of the room.

"So this is where the infamous Austria lives, huh?"

Okay, so Denmark and his lackeys were standing outside of what had to be the frilliest, most girlie, house that they had ever seen. The windows had those cliche` flowers pots on the windowsills, and the curtains were frilly and pink. Like, they even had a welcome mat and some garden gnomes. Like. Dude. The house couldn't get any more girlie. Denmark thought that this was the type of house The tooth fairy probably lived in.

The group walked up the stupid stone walk way slowly, because like... the whole place was creeping them out. They could sense the stares of the garden gnomes on them. It was intense. Denmark was the brave soul who decided to knock on the tacky wooden door.

Oh how he regretted not making Iceland do it.

The door slowly opened and this chick with wavy brown hair was looking at them. And it wasn't even a nice look. She was looking at them like they were skinning kittens or something. Like, the hell lady? Who did she think she was? She was in the presence of the almighty Denmark. She needed to show a little more respect! Denmark was so gonna curse her out, but he was a gentleman and gentlemen don't curse out girls. It's a sin. And he didn't want to go to hell. Then he'd have to spend the rest of his afterlife with Russia. Ew.

"...Yes?" The girl asked after a while of blank staring.

Denmark cleared his throat and bowed slightly. He was such a gentleman. "Excuse me ma'am, But is this the home of Austria?" Oh. He was smooth. He could practically feel the suave rolling off of him.

But this chick. Oh, this girl was just asking for it. She raised her eyebrow and frowned a bit. "Yes it is. What business do you have with him?" Denmark rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket to pull out the letter.

"Well, you see. We're here to deliver this letter to him."

She looked past Denmark at the others and scoffed. Denmark was ten seconds away from smacking her. "So it takes four of you to deliver one letter? Wow, you must be really incompetent."

Oooh, this girl was REALLY asking for it. This time she even offended Denmark's possy. Aw hell naw. Denmark controlled his urge to backhand her and put on a smile, because he still had morals. "Well, you see ma'am, we're actually on a journey. One that could possibly save your pretty little ass from being destroyed by an evil overlord. So, no, we're not incompetent. Now, could you please call Austria out here so that we can deliver this letter and get on our way? I would prefer not to spend so much time in your presence." Owned.

From the look on the girl's face, she was pissed, but she knew she was owned, so she just scowled. "Who is the letter from?" She asked all rudely and junk.

"Some guy named Switzerland. Now could you please get Austria out here? I kinda wanna get this over with and rescue my one true love." As soon as Denmark said that, if it was even possible, her expression turned even more sour and she had the creepiest glare on her face. Oh god. The others were shaking in the boots probably.

"Well then..." She began. She reached out her hand and tried to grab the letter. "I'll just give that to Austria for you."

Denmark held his hand with the letter high above his head so the little witch couldn't reach it. "Uhhh, no. In case you haven't noticed, I don't like you. And with dislike often comes distrust. So, what I'm saying is I don't trust you with this, and I don't want your filthy paws all over it. So call Austria out here so I can deliver it like I was asked to, and so that we can see that you won't burn it or something."

Oh snap, Denmark was telling it how it was. He almost laughed at how mad she was getting.

She clenched her fists and teeth and glared and Denmark. "Listen you. Just give me the damn letter, or I swear I'll smack you upside the head with a frying pan so hard, it'll-"

"Hungary? What's going on out there?"

Everyone looked at the guy who appeared in the doorway behind the girl, now known as Hungary.

Suddenly the girl's expression did a 180 and she was suddenly all smiles and cheery. It was freaky, by also quite impressive.

"Oh, Austria! I-I thought you were busy working on that new piece you're composing." So This was Austria? Denmark examined him. Hmm... wow. No wonder Switzerland loved this guy. His handsomeness was almost as amazing as Denmark's. Almost, but not quite.

He shook his head. "I was but I came to see what you were doing out here." He looked over at Denmark and his group. "And who are you, now?"

That girl opened her mouth to speak but Denmark cut her off. "Excuse me, but we can answer for ourselves." Ooooh, she was miffed. "Good sir, you are the one named Austria, correct?" He nodded. "Well, we've come to deliver a letter." Denmark kindly handed Austria the letter.

"Who is it from?" He asked ever so politely.


Dude, the look on his face. It was like a lame mixture of happiness, surprise, fear, worry, and a whole buttload of other emotions that Denmark could care less about. Man, these people were so weird.

Austria regained his composure and cleared his throat like the priss he was. "Would you like to come in for tea?" He asked. From the look in his eyes, Denmark could see that he wanted to talk about something. Yeah, Denmark was just that smart; Reading people from their eyes. He amazed himself sometimes. But this chick. Oh she wasn't having it.

"Oh Austria, I don't think that's necessary," She said, pulling on his sleeve. "They have a quest to complete, and they really must get going~!"

Oh ho ho. She thought she could get the best of Denmark and his crew, did she? Well She was wrong. Denmark took a step forward. "Nonsense. We'd love to have some tea. After all of this traveling, it'd be nice to have some refreshments. We're in no rush." Denmark turned to his group. "Right guys?" Wink. Oh. He was so sly. The others all looked at each other. They were all silently agreeing with each other that Denmark's plan was awesome and that it would teach that bitch. After all, it was like she thought she was the queen of Scandinavialot by the way she insulted them all. Pfft. Yeah right. Queen Finland was WAY prettier.

"Well then, please do come in," Austria said, Standing aside and Letting Denmark and his crew walk in. Yeah, Hungary totally scowled at Denmark as he walked past. Not like he cared anyway. He actually just smirked. Yet again. Bitch got owned.

As expected, the inside was just as sickening as the outside. Knickknacks everywhere, the furniture was white and frilly, flowers everywhere. Denmark wanted to puke. Austria motioned them to sit down and they did, almost sinking into the overly fluffy seats in the process. Austria asked Hungary to go make some tea for the lovely guests and she disappeared into the kitchen. Where women belong. Oh!

Austria then turned to Denmark and the others. "You said this letter is from Switzerland... is that true?" England nodded.

"He saved us in the forest of death from a flying mint bunny and let us lodge at his home for the night. We were indebted to him, so we offered to deliver this letter for him." England explained, just because Denmark felt that he should let someone else speak for a change.

Austria Nodded. "Do...Do you know the contents of the letter?"

France leaned back in his suffocating fluffy chair of doom and smirked. "I'm absolutely sure it's a love letter, mon ami. Oh, the way la Suisse was blushing when we were talking about it- That letter had to be one filled with love~!"

Austria totally started blushing mad hard. He thought he could hide it by looking down, but he should have known that Denmark sees all, fool. Oh but wait. What was this? Austria was also frowning a bit. Denmark decided it was time to stop letting Austria have secrets. Time to ask personal questions to a person he met five minutes ago! "So... I don't mean to pry," He totally did though. "But, do you and Switzerland, ya know, have something going on?"

Austria shook his head. "No, we do not. Well..." He looked out the window all dramatically. "It's complicated."

"Hmm, lemme guess." Everyone turned to look at... Iceland? Wow.

Iceland cleared his throat and begun saying the most anyone had ever heard him say. "You two used to be really good friends and eventually you both began to grow feelings for each other. But since you were both too bashful and stubborn, you never said how you feel to each other. That's when Hungary came along. She harbored a romantic love for you and you also harbored a love for her, but not in the same sense since you were still hung up on Switzerland. Soon though, instead of just suffering and watching Switzerland suffer, you decided to start living with Hungary and start a relationship with her in an attempt to move on. Though you still can't feel any romantic feelings Hungary and you still love Switzerland. You've also somehow discovered Switzerland felt the same way, and now you feel like the choice of moving in with Hungary was all a mistake. But you're stuck between a rock and a hard place because you don't want to leave and ruin your relationship with Hungary. Am I correct?"

They all stared at him. Oh... well. That was unexpected. Denmark didn't even have an insult to throw at Iceland because he was so stunned that he actually said something smart.

Austria's mouth hung open and Denmark was sure he was catching flies with it. "H-How did you know...?"

Iceland shrugged. "Well, it was kind of obvious." Hahaha, yeah, about that. It really WASN'T, Iceland. He needed to stop acting so smart. It didn't suit him.

Austria took a deep breath. "Well, okay. But, yes, he was spot on. I don't know how... Anyway. That's the situation. And Now I don't know what to do because with this letter... If It really is what you say, then... then it'll just make it harder not to break Hungary's heart."


"What was that about breaking my heart, Austria?"

Oh shit.

She dropped the tea.

They were fucked.

"I also want to Kill King Sweden and everything dear to him."

What. The hell? Norway wasn't sure if he heard Russia correctly. He wanted to kill Sweden, and everything dear to him? Sweden was Norway's dad...

That bastard.

Norway was fuming. "Who the hell do you think you are anyway? How will you even do that anyway? My father is the king of Scandinavialot, and he's not going to retire anytime soon. So marrying me won't make you the king just like that! And he has thousands of soldiers at his disposal, so trying to kill him is out of the question!"

Norway stared at him and waited for an answers. And you know what that jerk did? He had the NERVE to laugh. "Ahaha. Did you think I hadn't thought of that? Hmm..." He looked out the window like the dork he was. "I'll let you in on a little secret." He turned to Norway again with his evil stupid ugly aura and smiled. "I've already taken care of this whole situation a long time ago."

Norway frowned.- which was sooo cute by the way- and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

He started laughing again. The jerk. Norway as so peeved. He finally decided to stop being a dick face and started speaking. "You see, I've sent out an assassin, a very skilled on at that." He started playing with his scarf. "She's currently undercover at the castle right now. You may have met her once or twice. Right now she's just waiting until I give her the go ahead, and then..." He raised his finger up to his neck and did that cutting-throat motion. Sound effects and all. "King Sweden will be no more. Though before we do that, we want him to suffer a bit, hmm? Don't you agree that that would make things more interesting?"

Oh... He was one sick puppy. Norway narrowed his eyes and glared at Russia. "What do you mean suffer? What do you plan on doing to him?"

There went Russia's purple aura again. "Well, let's just say that I would not be worrying about Sweden, but rather your mother, Finland..."

Norway's pretty blue eyes shot wide open. He was threatening Finland now? "W-what are you going to do to him?" Norway asked. Oh god, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to know.

Russia merely smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Then Russia stood up and stretched. "Well, it has been nice speaking to you. I feel like we grew closer just by this little chat." He looked of his shoulder and blew a kiss at Norway who resisted the urge to barf. "Amerika will escort you back to your room. Now if you excuse me, I have important matters to tend to."

As Russia walked away like the dork he was, America walked in and sat down next to Norway who was just looking out the window. He opened his moth to say something-



Norway looked at him with his forever blank face. "I'm not going to just sit here and wait for someone to save me, when my parents could be murdered at any moment. I must do something."
America blinked. "Well... what do you have in mind?" America had already sent for reinforcement, but he still wanted to know what Norway wanted to do.

Norway stayed silent for a moment. "Do you have the key to Russia's personal chamber?"

America patted his pocket. "Yep, right here, but what do you plan on doing? Ya know if Russia catches you in there, you're as good as dead. Well... after you get... married that is."

Rolling his eyes, Norway held out his hand, asking for the key. "Yes I know, and I'm NOT marrying him. Not if I can help it. I just... I just want to do some snooping." She tucked the key into his own pocket and looked back up at America. "I need to find more information on what he's planning-Anything really. It'll give me a better idea of what I need to do, and I want you to cover for me. Can you do that?"

America made a weird face and inhaled through his teeth. "Well... I don't know..."

"Please, I just need you to distract Russia while I'm snooping. If you're really on my side like you said, you'll do this for me."

America paused for a little. "...Alright. I mean, I wouldn't be much of a hero if I didn't help you out on this." After all, who could say no to that face?

Norway smirked. "Thank you." He stood up and started for the door. "Now about that chamber... where is it anyway?"

America couldn't help but laugh.

"I'll lead you there."

Mathias put down his pencil and stretched his his arms above his head. He looked down and his work and then at the digital clock beside him which read 11:32 PM. He straightened the papers and smirked as he flipped through the first few pages.

"Aw man... haha, Elizabeta is going to kill me."

And there we have it. Im sooo sorry, I wanted to make this longer, but, meh, what are you gonna do? Im sorry if this chapter seemed lacking in gags, the plot (with Norway) is a bit serious, and I'm trying to keep it that way, but stay in Mathias' writing style. T'is hard I tell ye'! Oh yes, and I made Iceland have another moment! See? I'm making him better!

So anyway, please review if you didn't think this was utter shit and if you feel bad for Hungary! XD