This is a one shot told in Buffy's POV. It might be perceived as dark, I guess it depends on how you view it. Part of me hates myself for this because I killed pretty much everyone. :| Oh, well. I guess this is my apology in advance.
Disclaimer: I own the idea, not the show(s).
"God, B don't you care at all? They are fucking dead. The least you could do is stop actin' like you don't give a damn."
I was successful in ignoring Faith. She kept rambling on about things that didn't matter. 'B, they're dead!' Blah, blah, blah. They're not the first, wont be the last. Every single one of them was going to die anyway, wasn't my fault that it was now. Who'd made them stick around?
"Do you even care? Were losing more everyday! You're supposed to fight the forces of evil, not just sit in the sidelines and let them die."
But sometimes Faith won, and I couldn't tune her out.
"They choose this. They knew what they were getting into."
"It's a good fight Buffy and I want in." I pushed the thought away. She choose her life too. I no longer made expectations for people, did matter who they were. Were, because she was dead now too. Besides, that was a whole different life, a million years away.
"That doesn't make their deaths any better. Seven are dead, and I can't even lie and say it's for a good cause anymore."
I tuned out as she continued. She'd changed, I'd changed. The whole world had changed.
"You ain't even pretending to grieve over them anymore! I mean shit, B, they have families!"
"No, Faith, they had families. Now, they have gravestones in a cemetery."
She was quick, striking me across the mouth with a blow delivered by her clenched fist. In that other life, the one a million years ago, our roles- and personalities would have been reversed. That life was gone though. I could've punched her back, but I didn't care. About anything. Not really. Faith kept trying to find out what death had caused it. I kept trying to ignore her, and everyone kept dying. That was the circle of life now.
"How can you not care about this B? You're supposed to follow your destiny, the rules. Be a men-"
"A long time ago there was this girl. She told me that being a slayer was the law, and that for a slayer, there were no rules."
Faith's second blow was expected but the force still knocked me over. That other life swam back up again.
"What the hell were you thinking? Taking them out, getting them drunk!"
"They were blowin' off steam B. Ya know, lettin' loose a little."
"I'm fine with blowing off steam, let them vent all they want, but don't take them to a bar."
"I was chillin' with them. Bonding."
"Well, it must have worked, they seem to like you."
"Maybe because I took the time to learn their names."
It had been Buffy's fist that had struck hard and fast back then, Faith knocked to the ground. Times changed though and I saw no need to get worked up about it. Faith paced back and forth agitated while I got up and leaned against the wall indifferent. They were just bodies, look away for too long and they'd double by the time you looked back. That wasn't going to change. People always got hurt. So, I stopped caring about it, and then I could control my mind and (normally) focus on the present.
"B, what the hell happened to you?"
Faith was back at the guessing game and it was hard to stop the flood gates from opening.
"They're just a few dead girls. Whats the dif?"
Faith didn't punch me this time. She just stared straight up at the ceiling. I just shrugged and looked around for the remote, there had to be something good on TV. I didn't find it in time and Faith started up again her voice quiet and musing.
"I wonder what they're all thinking. Dawnie and Giles, Xander and Willow, Tara, and Anya, Angel and Spike…. your mom…"
I didn't even turn around, I kept up my remote hunt.
"They aren't thinking. They're dead."
"But they're watching us. They're all upset with you. You lost your way big time. Hell B, you aren't even the same person anymore."
Of course I'm not. That me everyone was friends with, and loved, lived a million years ago. Besides they choose this. They knew what they were getting into. All of them. They all knew that one day they would die.
Miss Calendar- killed by Angelus. Riley- killed by Adam. Oz- killed by ubervamps. Fred- killed by Illyria. Illyria- killed by Wolfram and Hart, saving the world. Gunn. Wesley, Lindsey, Angel and Spike all died the same day. All fighting Wolfram and Hart, all trying to save the world. In a way, everyone had died trying to save the world. Cordelia, Willow, Tara, Anya, Xander, Mom, Dawn, and Giles and all the potentials too. They all died trying to fight the 'good' fight. And all they got as a reward was a coffin put six feet under ground.
"B, how can you not care that they're dead? That they died?"
"Someone had to."
Authors note: Please if you review (which I hope you do) don't just post a comment bashing Buffy, that's not what this story is about. If you want to bash Buffy, or the Buffy in this fic and then make it relate back to this story, or the show with RELEVANCE to this story than that's fine, and go right ahead. But if your just going to bash Buffy just because you don't like her (insert eye roll here) then PLEASE don't bother, it takes away from the review of you just criticize one of my favorite characters, and don't make it important, I mean I can understand why you don't like Buffy (strongly disagree!) but you can't just review about that because once again, that's NOT what this story is about.
Other than that, please enjoy and please review, it makes me happy :)