Disclaimed. also I think you should know that this story struck me in the middle of the night when I wasn't sleeping because my air conditioning broke a few days ago,

it was suppose to be a short story

Kirk (with input from Spock) decided it needed to be much longer...I have no idea how this came out of it. I am also not entirely sure where it's going give me some imput...REVIEW please.

No shoes No shirts No big,

Everyone always mentions how Kirk would like to change the dress code to… be a little more liberating, so here it is.

"Scotty, tell me you've started to fix this…" Kirk's called in his usual good cheer.

"Fixed it capt'n, I doona even know what is wrong, as far as I can tell she should be in perfect working order."

Kirk, who was lounging spread eagle in his chair (in a way no captain naturally would, as his pose was far more sexual then commanding) grimaced. That was about what he had expected, and what he was hoping not to hear.

"A perfectly functional ship does not explain the continually rising ambient temperature." Spock cut in.

Kirk just shook his head, out of all of them Spock was handling this unexpected heat wave with the most ease, but that was to be expected. One he was Vulcan higher temperatures were the norm and two he was Vulcan, he'd rather chew his own arm of then admit to discomfort. Not so with the rest of his bridge crew.

Sulu had given up piloting in favor of dozing on his consol. Chekov was rewiring his station to create a mini fan and Uhura, well, she was busy adding stylish adjustments to her uniform, namely cutting huge sections off. Had it not been so ungodly hot she would have had quiet an audience.

Kirk for one didn't really mind. He loved the heat; it made him feel lazy and sexual however, he understood that these feelings weren't exactly conducive to running a starship.

"Just get it fixed Scotty, I've got faith in you. Kirk out."

"Captain, if the heat continues to rise at its current rate, even with only essential the crew at their stations, it is only a matter of time before serious health related problems are noticed throughout the ship."

Kirk sat up slightly and nodded, but before he could speak an extremely irritated doctor charged his way through the lift doors, making his displeasure known.

"God damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor not some cold-blooded Vulcan reptile who loves basking in the heat…"

"Doctor Vulcans are not 'cold-blooded' as their natural temperature runs much higher…"

McCoy cut him off, "It was a joke man, a bad one but get over it. We have bigger problems,"

"Hi Bones, nice to see you to, would you like a seat or some coffee, I think Chekov could find you a blanket if you were uncomfortable…" Jim added sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Don't you play with me kid. This heat is a serious problem."

"Yeah Bones, that's why I'm working on it, that's why we've practically stopped and powered down to the bare minimum, that's why the entire engine crew is out and about searching for the tiniest clue…So if that's not good enough Bones I don't know what else I can do."

Bones frowned and nodded. "Listen, Jim any hotter at all and we're goin' start to see problems, I'm talkin' serious injuries."

"You know, Spock was just saying that. Are you two like connected? Been reading minds lately Bones?" Jim joked as he took a moment to ineffectively reposition himself.

"Damnit this is no time for Jokes. Make a ship wide announcement, Ice and water breaks for everyone and Jim, you've got to do something about these uniforms."

Jim actually sat up and looked at his Chief Medical Officer. "Hang on Bones, I get the ice runs, I'll send an announcement in a sec, but the uniforms, what about them?"

"Captain, I believe the doctor is, in his own manner, trying to suggest, that star fleet issued uniforms were meant to contain heat not release it. Thus wearing such uniforms in an overly heated star ship is inadvisable. "

"Come on Jim, you're always talkin' about changing the dress code, here's a legitimate reason to do it."

"Ok, how do you suggest we change it, I mean guys can go without shirts, and we can adjust the replicators to make some shorts…"

"Captain, if I may," Uhura walked over. Her point becoming immediately clear. "I can offer the female crew advice on how to make their uniforms, cooler." Uhura was wearing the original Star Fleet issue skirt which almost all female personal had given up after the first or third actual mission. (Jim may or may not have inadvertently ordered that all women trade up their skirts for pants when he made a point to angrily announce to the whole ship that no one should have died on that first mission, but the natives hadn't like the concept of uniforms and some female lieutenant had accidentally gotten her skirt caught on something which had caused her to fall behind and to Jim's eternal regret, she had died.)

The skirt was hiked way up, and she certainly wasn't wearing pants. Her top had been carefully cut, the sleeves trimmed off, the bottom cut nearly four inches up revealing her midriff. On her it looked good (Smokin' in Jim's humble opinion), but more than that it was a practical way to keep the heat down.

Jim nodded grinning, "I'll start and then you can give the ladies the lesson on dressing, kay?"

Uhura nodded grinning a rather pleased with herself smirk. She walked over to her station.

"Be ready to put me on in five." Jim called, and then turned to his first officer and Doctor. "Alright, you two come with me we'll be the first to get changed, then we'll send Chekov and Sulu. Sulu you have the con."

"Why in Hell do I have to come?" Bones gripped as he followed Jim to the nearest replicator.

"Cause you are the Chief Medical Officer, Bones, you need to get on after me and tell my crew how to protect themselves from heat stroke, and you need to tell them the symptoms of that and any other crazy heat induced illness you can think of…" upon thinking about how long that would take Jim nodded to himself and said to the others "And you can go last."

"Captain, I must inform you that as a Vulcan, my system is far better adapted to this temperature and requires no cooling to maintain optimal function…"

"Spock," Jim said turning to him and cutting him off. "Would taking your shirt off make you uncomfortably cool?"


"Is there any reason other than modesty that would prevent you from taking off your clothes?"

"Captain, I …"

"Damnit, it's Jim, and it's a yes or no question."

Spock looked like he would have sighed, had he been a weaker man but rather he turned slightly and straightened. Putting his hands behind his back he resumed his standard 'at ease position'. "No."

"Then you're doing it, if you really want you can keep your pants but the shirt comes off, come to think of it shoes are only good for keeping feet warm and protecting them, anyone not in engineering will have to take those off as well…"

"But Captain…"

"It's Jim, Spock and I'm only going to explain this once so listen up. Why do you think I'm changing first before I order my crew to do this? It's not so I can run around without my shirt" (though man, that would be awesome).

" A crew, especially ones filled with exemplary officers like this one, needs to see that their commanders are willing to do what they've ordered others to do. You are going to serve as an example for the entire science department. A lot of our crew will think they can get away with wearing their shirts till this thing is over but they can't. That will put them in danger. And I'm not willing to risk my crew's safety over some broken A.C. Got it. If they see that you will do it then they will follow. So unless you have a serious issue with this you're going to follow my orders. Got it?"

" Yes, Jim your point is most logical." Jim smirked, he could read between the lines and the look Spock was sending him was clearly Vulcan for, 'I can't see a way around this, I don't agree but I'll freakin' do it.'

Jim turned to his quarters and opened the door.

The inside wasn't as messy as Spock had imagined or McCoy had feared (he had roomed with Jim before, he knew how bad it could get), it was fairly empty. Spock stepped to the replicator without asking and began to reprogram it's features.

(not that anyone should have been able to program a single replicator from their quarters let alone effectively reprogram the entire ships, but this was Spock, and it was Jim's replicator meaning not only was the most competent person in solar system doing the reprograming, they were reprograming it on a terminal were it had already been done before.)

As soon as he finished he passed two pairs of shorts to Jim who passed a pair to Bones. "I elect to invoke you previous offer of wearing pants, however it would be beneficial for both of you to change." Vulcan for 'You got my shirt but there is no way in hell you're getting my pants, and also if you don't change you're gonna fry.'

Jim found that walking back on the bridge without a shirt was apparently distracting to others (if the open mouth gaps were anything to go by). It was more distracting because his first officer was also without a shirt and Jim was sweating more than usual coming back to the bridge.

Together these facts were, in his mind, more than a little bit scandalous and for some reason he couldn't help but wish that scandal was a little more true.

'Cause while Bones wasn't a slouch, and Jim, was pretty classically awe inspiring, Spock looked like god (in the Greek/ god of gorgeous vein). His skin was a clear handsome tone all over, and his stomach and chest, well, were just flat out sexy. His frame had always suggested lean and tall, but the muscle underneath was mouth watering, and not that Jim noticed but his nipples were just the faintest blush green and he had small dark black hairs that looked smooth to the touch trailing from just above his belly button down to the line of his star fleet issued pants where, the slightly widening line, disappeared.

Jim shook his head. It was the heat, the heat was making him slightly crazy, and maybe if he prayed real hard Santa would show up in his sleigh brining toys for the good girls and boys. Yeah right.

"Uhura, put me on." Jim said trying to sound as official as he could while trying to get over the fact he had just been checking out his First Officer's ass, (a really tight looking thing by the way that without the protection of a shirt looked like something Jim wanted to take a bite of). It was the heat, the heat…

Jim turned and faced the screen, he stood at attention, Spock just behind him on the right, McCoy just behind him on the left.

"Attention Enterprise crew, this is your captain speaking. Now I understand that we are all suffering from the effects of the malfunctioning Air Conditioners, but I need you to pay attention, under the advisement of the CMO and First officer we are temporarily instating a new dress code.

This is for your own safety and continued comfort. This will be done in two parts Gentlemen if you make your way to your nearest replicator, in shift rotation please, then you will find shorts are now available, please take a pair put them on and take your shirts off. I understand that isn't a comfortable idea but it is a necessary action. Ladies, Lieutenant Uhura will be giving you instructions on your new dress code.

This is not optional, your health depends on you keeping cool.

Additionally for all crew members not part of engineering or part of other hazardous work, you will give up wearing shoes as of right now because they are trapping in serious and unnecessary heat. After Lieutenant Uhura Chief of Medical Doctor McCoy will be instructing you on ice and water breaks as well as how to look for and identify symptoms of overheating and exhaustion. This announcement will now be transferred to the conference room, Lieutenant."

McCoy was already heading to the turbo lift as Uhura pressed a button and made to follow. Thiers would be a much longer chat with the crew, one Jim didn't need taking place in front of him while he tried to run a ship.

"Sulu, Chekov…everybody else, get to it." The few remaining bridge members made their way to the lift to start implementing the new dress code.

Alpha shift ended and everyone sighed, 3 ice breaks and a constant supply of water did little to ease the overwhelming heat. Jim let out a huge sigh as he waited for the lift with Spock. Still nothing and literally it was nothing, they weren't going anywhere doing anything until this was fixed the nearest star base was 10 hours away on max warp.

Seriously this day couldn't get any worse.

Jim wasn't thinking clearly as he stepped onto the lift but the minute the doors shut his full undivided attention zeroed in on the tall half naked Vulcan standing across from him.

Honestly life should not be that unfair. Spock looked better than anything or anyone Jim had ever seen, and it wasn't like he was smiling or flirting he was just standing in his usual stiff formal pose. Of course it was probably impossible to look formal when you weren't wearing a shirt. Spock looked so good with his shirt off Jim honest thought about ordering him never to put it back on.

Then he noticed it.

The lift was hot. More so then the rest of the ship, trapped in a tiny space with a man whose normal temperature was close to boiling…Jim could suddenly feel each drop of sweat as it arched its way down his chest.

It was getting hard to breath in the best possible way.

Jim loved the heat, in his youth he'd spent a particularly unpleasant time in a place he didn't like to talk about. Sure, he'd been hungry but when you were hungry really hungry like Jim had been you were also always cold and Jim hated the cold, going back to Iowa winters had been hard, being marooned on a ice pit of a planet had been hard, but warmth there was nothing better, and right now Spock was like a fireball in an oven.

Jim couldn't see but Spock was holding his breath. An illogical action you might think, but when the alternative was smelling... breathing in that smell... well, you would agree it was most the most logical decission.

The smell wasn't bad, quiet to the contrary Spock feared it might prove addictive. Spock had thought nothing of sharing a lift with his Captain, they did it all the time but this time the moment the doors of the lift had closed Spock had been bombarded with that Scent.

The scent was no mystery, however. It was Jim, the scent was his captain's and it smelled like nirvana. Jim had been sweating, a natural response for humans experiencing an overload of heat, but that meant Jim's odor was stronger.

Spock had always known that Jim smelled…that his scent was pleasant, small wafts here and there confirmed this, like everything about Jim; from his startling blue eyes, to his lean muscular human build to his beautifully smirking smile, Jim's scent was… appealing.

But in small doses none of this mattered, Spock's control was more than a match for it, but here and now Jim's scent was over powering, like apples and wind and mystery it was more than Spock could bare.

So he held his breath.

Then he noticed Jim's breathing. The Captain had pressed himself against the lift wall as if he were about to fall, he was panting and his heart rate was accelerating too quickly to be normal.

The lift opened and Spock leaned out his hand to catch Jim as he fell through the door.

"Captain…you are overheated, ridding in the lift with me was…"

Jim laughed it was a gorgeous soul touching laugh the kind that always stopped the Vulcan right in his tracks.

Jim wanted to kick himself, really? Really? This had to be proof the universe was out to get him, the biggest turn on in his entire life had been riding in a lift with broken A.C. and a shirtless first officer. Jim had been about to do something really stupid when those doors opened. Too hot and too bothered to care he'd let himself fall, halfway hopping it would knock some sense into his clearly broken head.

Spock of course had caught him. And then he had said something to the effect that the heat must be getting to him. Jim wanted to tell spock that he was right, just not in the way he thought, but kirk wisely decided to keep his big mouth shut.

"I'm fine, Spock honest,"

"I feel that you should be taken to see Doctor McCoy to evaluate your health and..."

" And nothing Spock, what would he do? I'm alright, I don't have heat stroke, telling Bones would only be a waste of time."

Spock looked like he wanted to argue but Jim had that look in his eye (the one that says I'm doing it, back my play or get out of my way) and he thought better of it.

The two parted, making for thier own rooms. Spock to the left Jim to the right, and the only thing between the two was a connecting bathroom.

Jim's room was boiling, and after that little incident in the lift, (if it could be called an incident and not just a sudden and very powerful attack of lust) Jim, as much as he loved the heat, needed to cool down.

He replicated a bag of ice and flopped on his bed. For a while he dragged the ice across his chest, then up to his forehead, everywhere it went a small trail of water beaded up behind.

Dropping the bag over his chest he pulled his arm up over his eyes. What he really needed right now was a nap. The paper work sitting on his desk was just going to have to wait.

But as Jim all ready knew, the universe wasn't going to let that happen. (It was having too much fun screwing with his head.)

"Captain….Bridge to the Captain."

Jim groaned and answered without looking up.

"Yeah, Nyota what is it?"

"Jim…I'm sorry but Admiral Pike is, well he wants to talk to you and Spock."

This day just kept getting better and better.

"Fine have it patched through to my quarters, Kirk out " He raised his voice but didn't get up, "Spock I know you can hear me with those pointy ears of yours, get in here."

Spock had arrived at his room and had instantly started to meditate, well in truth he attempted to start meditating. His mind was so clouded with thoughts, emotions and, rather unfamiliar desires that trying to meditate was like trying not to get wet in a hurricane when you were trapt out side and the road was flooding (in effect it wasn't possible).

But stoically he made the attempt, but every few minutes or so just when he thought he might be getting somewhere, the picture of Jim pressed against the lift, shirtless and sweating with eyes dilated to the point where their startling blue was little more than a rim around the smoldering black of his pupils… would break his concentration and unintentionally raise his heart rate.

Spock tried to rationalize it but nothing he considered explained this sudden and unmistakable physical awareness.

But as one of Spock's most admired fictional characters once put, "When you have eliminated the possible, whatever is

left however improbable must be the solution."

And the impossible solution he kept arriving at was that somehow, he had accidentally become attracted (and surely it could be nothing more. No, he wouldn't even consider that, not even in light of the many soft warm feelings he had felt towards his captain in the past and was now only recognizing, because that would be the most illogical idea to ever have been thought, let alone considered.) to James T. Kirk.

Nothing like the startling realization you were having feelings for the most illogical human in the universe to break your concentration.

And so when Jim yelled for him to 'get in here' Spock could in fact hear him.

Almost grateful for a reason to end his failed meditation (almost, because he was Vulcan after all, being Grateful would imply that there had been something emotionally distressing and that would just not do.) Spock leapt quickly to his feet and made his way through the adjoining restroom.

"Yes, captain." Spock looked around for a moment not seeing Jim.

"It's Jim Spock, J-I-M, I can order you to refer to me like that if it makes things easier…"

Spock turned Jim was lying on his bed, some clear bag on his chest, that Spock took to be ice. Jim looked very good lying on that bed, lazy and sedate, Spock looked away rather quickly.

"How would I be able to assist you…Jim?"

Jim who'd been ready to take nap earlier was wide awake now. There were a whole host of things he could think that he 'needed' Spock to 'assist' him in, not the least of which was getting rid of this very sudden and almost overwhelming desire to taste Spock's sweat, it seemed that the temperatures were beginning to get to Jim along with the crew.

His head spinning with a very unusual wave of lust (not that Jim wasn't hit with waves of lust often, just not ones that were inspired by his first officer,) it took him a moment to remember why he'd called Spock over.

(and No damnit, Jim mentally reminded himself, the reason had nothing to do with licking sweat, or other body parts.)

"Yeah…uh. Oh, Pike is calling we gotta talk to him and I didn't feel like going up to the bridge so, would you mind…"Jim gestured to the now blinking Screen while trying to right himself, the heat was taking more out of him then he had thought.

Spock nodded and walked in standard stiff manner to the screen.

"Kirk,…Jeeze Jim, couldn't you keep me out of your romantic life…I mean, Spock I would have figured you, at least would be more subtle." Jim, who was now sitting upright on his bed facing the screen, had to think about Pike's words before he understood the meaning of them. (The heat had to be slowing his reaction time).

"Jesus, Pike it's not…We certainly…ah damnit all to hell…"

"Jim I don't care about your love life, I'm happy for you but if another Admiral calls…"

"If I may Admiral, you are suffering from an incorrect assumption, the Captain and I are not having any kind 'romantic' relationship." Spock interjected sounding as irritable as a Vulcan could.

Pike raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, Spock I don't care, and really if that's the best you got for being shirtless in Jim's room…?"

"Pike, we have a situation here. The Enterprise's Air Controls are shot, we're baking down here. Scotty has no idea why the air coolers aren't working…" Jim cut in.

Spock sharply followed, saying "Because of the increasing rise in temperature and the negative health effects the Captain has temporarily instated a new dress code, consisting of as few clothes, as comfortably possible."

Pike waited a beat, his expression changing from skepticism to irritation to worry. "Jim, what's happened?"

Jim shook his head rising to stand closer to the Viewscreen. "I told you, we don't know, we had to power down every unnecessary system we have, every engineer is looking day and night and Scotty has orders to call me as soon as something is found, but… so far? Nada, zilch, zero, as it is we're pushin' all the replicators to max to produce ice but that's not going to last forever…"

"We are as of yet, no closer to finding a solution then we were upon first discovering a problem, and our ship and crew are continue to be pushed far beyond the bounds of normalcy."

Pike ran his hands through his hair causing it to stand lightly on end. As much as he was seriously upset to hear this news he was unsurprised (the Enterprise just seemed to fall from one impossible and improbable situation to the next).

"You know Jim, sometimes I worry that the universe might just be out to frel with you." Pike finally looking Jim in the eye with a serious mixture of empathy and sad amusement.

Jim sighed, rolling his eyes slightly he turned to look at Spock. Spock knew that look it was the one that clearly said 'see, someone else agrees with me' and at that particular moment Spock was inclined to agree.

Nay, even expand that, the universe seemed not only to relish 'messing with' his Captain, but it also seem to have a particularly cruel sense of humor when it came to him.

REVIEW Please, and cookies and icecream to anyone who can catch the referances in this...i'll give you one clue i didn't make up the word 'Frel...' but it is my favorite curse word

somewhere between fucked and hell... XD REVIEW!

PS I have now fixed SCENT, i love reviews and i know that my spelling is terrible, so continue to REVIEW ON characters, plot, plot holes, or other destracting mistakes.

PSS I love you guys, i got like another 10 alerts telling me that people had signed up as 'story alert' and even 'story favorites' (Which is my favorite)

oh...and if you have a suggestion for a chapter tittle throw one out, (These are all parts/ titles of songs involving heat...) THANKS