READ THIS WARNING! this is rated M, if i could go higher i would. This fic is very intense, and violent. there is strong language and a situtation of assault and rape. This is also a death fic, but not until the end. also this is not a character bashing fic, i love both House and Wilson, and would never want this to happen. Nor do i condone or encourage the events that take place.
You have been fairly warned. so do not read if you easily bothered, disturbed or whatever else. Go easy on me, I've never written a fic like this before. But when your muse strikes, you must write.
Wilson was pretty deep in his paperwork when House came slamming into his office for the thousandth time. He had been in a particularly nasty mood all day, more so than usual and no problem laying into Wilson flaws.
"Well, lookie here, Wilson's doing paperwork. What a fucking surprise, do you actually treat patients anymore?" House said with as much venom as he could muster.
"Nice to see you too…again" Wilson replied flatly, trying to ignore House's tirade.
"I need a damn consult because my team is a bunch of god damn morons!" House yelled loudly enough that his team would have no trouble hearing him in the conference room.
Wilson sighed and looked up from his desk to House, who was studying him intently.
"Does your patient have cancer?" Wilson asked.
"No we've ruled that out already!" House spat as if Wilson should know this.
"Then I'm no help to you…" Wilson mumbled and went back to filing.
"That's right you aren't. A fucking useless doctor, not to mention friend" House told him with contempt.
"Do you still want to come over tonight?" Wilson asked as House was leaving.
"Of course. How else can I make you miserable outside of work?" Hose stated and left with a slam of the door.
Wilson sat there and wondered why he was inviting him over, he's been an asshole all day.
"Oh yeah, because Sam is at a medical conference, and I'm pathetically lonely" Wilson thought to himself as he went to go do his rounds.
The ride back to the condo was by no means enjoyable. House made an extreme effort to state all the ways Wilson had failed over the time he knew him.
"So do you get some kind of sick pleasure when you're cheating? Like you know you're hurting someone else? Or do you just like to spread disease wherever you go?" House asked not even looking at Wilson.
Wilson was fighting hard to hold back the tears that had been forming in his eyes.
"Hell, you'd probably leave me in a ditch somewhere if it meant you could escape having to deal with something" House said with a hurtful laugh.
That one hit kind of home for Wilson. He would never do that do House, no matter what he was trying to avoid.
He rubbed his eyes discreetly and turned to House and said, "No I wouldn't leave in a ditch, and believe it or not I actually value our friendship."
"Fuck! It's always with the friendship with you isn't it? Like your life would end without me. You'd probably just go fuck another proxy and forget my existence" House said digging as hard he could to hurt Wilson.
Wilson went silent; he didn't understand why House was trying to hurt him…more than usual.
"Even so, usually it's just playful, or he's looking for my attention." Wilson though to himself as they pulled in the space.
House was thankfully silent in the elevator, maybe he also didn't want to start something being trapped. Wilson unlocked the door to the loft and threw his coat and briefcase onto the dining table.
"You want something eat? Drink?" Wilson asked trying to be friendly.
"Where's the harpy?" House asked snidely.
"She's at a medical conference until Tuesday." Wilson told him.
"Aww what's the matter? Is Jimmy feeling a little lonely with a pussy around, so you have to ask the cripple to keep you company?" House said hurtfully.
Now Wilson was just getting angry. Why the fuck was House being like this?
"You're an ass. Maybe because I might actually enjoy you're company, and we haven't really had time to just hang out like we used to." Wilson spat, and then kicked himself for playing right into House's hands.
"You're pathetic! You only invite me over when she's not here, because then it's okay right?" House asked him staring intensely.
Wilson just stood there in disbelief. He had thought House would have been happy that they could just hang like they used to. He himself was happy they would have a few days to do so, and here House was practically on a mission to destroy Wilson. He walked over to the table where the mail was and begun to sort through it. House followed until he was about a foot away.
"I thought maybe you bringing me hear so I could watcher her seduce you, and you could kick me out again…not that you…" House said before a right hook came in contact with his jaw.
House fell hard and flat on the ground.
He looked up to see Wilson red in the face and his breathing was labored. Wilson still had his fist clenched and was now on the verge of hyperventilating. Wilson watched as House rose difficultly to his feet.
"I just punched my best friend…whose cripple" Wilson thought to himself in horror.
When House got up and was able to stabilize himself he added, "Way to help a cripple up."
Wilson put his hands on House's shoulders to keep him steady.
"House I'm so sorry! I didn't…I…" Wilson said pleadingly.
"Oh save it Wilson! I know the only reason you brought me here is because Sam's hot loins are no where to be found and you had to settle for me" House said wiping the dust of his jacket.
Wilson cracked and he back handed House as hard as he could, causing House to hit the wall. Wilson stood there in utter shock as he watched House lean heavily on his cane and cup his face, which was now red, and his lip was bleeding. House stared at Wilson with his own disbelief and so much hurt in his eyes. Wilson stepped forward to try and see what damage he caused, feeling sick that he had done so. Wilson was about inches away when House stopped him with his cane.
"Don't come any closer. Is this why you brought me here? Is this Jimmy's secret way of telling the cripple friend that he could go die somewhere for all he cared?" House said softly as he wiped the blood form his lip.
Before Wilson even knew what happened, he slapped House across the face again blind with fury. House cupped his face where Wilson struck, but didn't have to strength to look back up at Wilson.
Wilson's hands were shaking, but he managed to put one on House's shoulder to steady him and himself. He could feel a violent shiver run through House's body. It occurred to Wilson that he had just abused his friend, and now House was afraid of him.
"House…I…" Wilson started, and then crashed their lips together.
House froze for a moment, and then violently shoved Wilson away. House stayed where he was against the wall as he watched Wilson stand and regain his composure. Wilson started at him again, kicking House's cane aside and pinning his wrists up against the wall and staring into his eyes.
House stared back and asked, "So you beat me up, then offer sex? You think just because you're Wilson I won't be able to resist your charm…even though you just assaulted you're friend?"
Wilson lost himself; he spun House around holding his wrists against his back, and slamming his face against the wall. Another violent shiver ran through House's body and he begun to sweat.
"Do you have any idea House? Do you have any hint of a clue that the things you say hurt me?" Wilson asked his breathing calm but his tone vicious.
"Sometimes you cause me so much pain. And I'm tired of the abuse. It's my turn to inflict a little pain" Wilson added leaning forward and kissed House's neck.
Wilson froze when he heard a sob leave House's throat.
"Wilson…please don't…" House pleaded.
Wilson still had House's wrists pinned behind his back, so he lifted them above his head. He lifted House shirt with his free hand, and ran it up House's smooth back. House began to relax a little thinking Wilson was coming to. Before he knew it, Wilson dug his nails in and dragged them down to his waist band. House yelped in pain, and he could tell he was bleeding slightly.
Wilson let House fall to the floor with a thud with no regard for his damaged thigh, and just stood there watching him. House reached back to feel his back and then looked at his hand.
"Just a little blood" he thought nervously.
He looked up at Wilson who had his arms crossed around his chest and was obviously panicking.
"Wilson…I'm…sorry" House said, and he meant it.
Wilson took hold of the back of House's jacket collar and begun to drag him down the hall. House tried to fight back by grabbing every door frame or protruding object he could grab. Before he knew it he was being pushed onto Wilson's bed. He would have gotten up and made a run for it but his leg protested, sending a horrible spasm causing intense pain.
Wilson leaned over him and said, "Guess you body has other plans."
House noticed that Wilson had taken his shirt off and begun to panic himself.
"Wilson…please…why are you doing this?" House asked his eyes watering.
"You should know…you're House…you know everything!" Wilson shouted, and House flinched away.
"You cause so much pain House. You don't even realize who you're hurting. And I'm a fucking fool for loving you anyway!" Wilson shouted pressing House into the mattress.
House tensed and wondered if that was supposed to be a declaration.
"But since you like to inflict so much hurt, maybe you need to get a little back." Wilson said calmly and conniving.
House was weak from his spasm, so Wilson had no trouble rolling House onto his stomach. He made quick work of using his tie to tie House's wrists together and then to the headboard. House couldn't react, he was actually too afraid.
"Get on your knees!" Wilson demanded.
He did what he was told. House's arms were stretched out in front of him and tied by the wrists to the head board, while he was kneeling on his knees on Wilson's mattress.
Wilson got up on to the mattress and pressed himself against House's shivering sweating body. He rubbed House's back and abdomen, pressing his hardening groin on House's clothed ass. House could feel Wilson's length through both of their pants. He knew what was coming.
"Wilson…I'm sorry…please don't" House pleaded, tears rolling down his face.
Wilson kissed all over before reaching his ear, "I'm sorry too House, but you have to learn."
House tried squirming his hands free of the tie when he heard Wilson unzip his pants and rub his ass. Wilson stroked his cock slowly as he rubbed House's cheeks. He then ripped House's pants down as far as he could with them still buttoned, just enough so his friends ass was exposed. Wilson hastily sucked on his middle finger than shoved it in. House yelped, he didn't know why but his own member was reacting, hardening even. House didn't understand…Wilson is going to rape him and he's turned on? Wilson dug his finger deep enough to find House's prostate and stroked it unforgiving. House began to shudder and moan with what he couldn't believe was pleasure. He even went as far as pushing back onto Wilson's hand. Just as he had established a rhythm, Wilson yanked his finger out violently, giving his friend's prostate a hard graze. House convulsed a bit and could feel his cock leaking in his pants.
"Wilson…please…I'm…begging" House tried pleading one last time.
Wilson spit into his hand and began to lubricate his cock.
He bent over to House's ear and said very softly, "I'm sorry"
With that he cruelly entered House and pushed forward.
"Ugnhh…Wil...son…p-please…no" House tried to say crying unintentionally.
Wilson continued to push into his friend until he found that gland again. House's breath hitched and he tensed when he felt the tip of Wilson's cock stroke his prostate. Wilson pulled out until only until his head remained inside, then without ease; he thrust forward causing House to scream in what seemed like pain, fear, and pleasure.
"Stop…don't. I'm sorry" House begged.
Wilson pushed House's face into the pillow, not enough to suffocate, but to prevent loud noises, and he mercilessly fucked his friend as hard as he could. He could still hear House's screams and moans even from being muffled.
House's mind was afraid of his friend, but he couldn't control his body. House pushed back with every one of Wilson's thrusts, needing it deeper or harder. He tensed around Wilson's rock hard dick, hoping maybe he could slow his friend's ministrations to something enjoyable. But Wilson was unrelenting. Wilson wrapped his arms around House, so they were across his chest and waist. He kissed and sucked on House neck as he pounded into him with such force. It felt good, really good to have this control over House. With ever thrust Wilson came closer, now unable to contain his own moans and whimpers. He had released his hand from House's head, so that his face was no longer forced into the pillow. When House came back to this reality, he heard Wilson's noises and could tell he was close. He knew Wilson hadn't used a condom, and he was panicking. He knew Wilson had no sexual diseases to speak of, but something about being filled with his friend's cum both scared and excited him. He felt such shame that part of him was enjoying everything Wilson was doing to him.
Wilson's thrusts became erratic and uneven, his breath hitching, he was close and he was going to fill House up. House even though terrified and shameful, continued to push backwards. With one final shove against House's prostate, he spilled his hot seed into House's anus. He yelled with ecstasy trying to push even further, licking the sweat of house's back. House felt it when it happened. He felt the hot liquid spurt onto his gland and inside him. It was one of the best things he ever felt. They both panted raggedly. The room smelled like sex, musk and fear. House was still fully clothed, except for his ass, which had just been abused. Wilson lay down on the bed next to a kneeling House and reached to up to untie his hands. When he saw that House was free, he literally passed out into a deep sleep. House Easily stood up off the bed and made his way to Wilson's bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, he looked terrible. He looked back over to his sleeping friend, who looked like nothing had even happened. House could feel Wilson's cum leaking from his ass and down his leg. He warmed a washcloth to clean himself up.
There was no way he was going to try and sleep with Wilson, "The couch it is" he said to himself.
Before closing the bedroom door he said softly, "He won't remember…" With that he got settled on what was once he and Wilson's couch and passed out.
When Wilson awoke the next morning, he didn't know why he was naked. He assumed he got really drunk with House last night and probably did something embarrassing. He made his way into the shower and let the searing hot water rush over him. Wilson had the distinct feeling that something horrible happened, and that's when it struck him. Everything that happened the previous night came rushing back like a blow to the gut. He fell to the shower floor having a hard time breathing. He remembered hitting House…repeatedly. He remembered tying House up on the bed. He remembered…oh god…
"Oh my god…I raped House!" he shouted to himself as his breathing became painful and his vision blurred.
He hauled himself out of the shower and over to his bed where he sat, wet and naked. He was still, his mind buzzing. He got up to dress slowly, assuming that cops would be knocking down his door any minute to arrest him for assault and rape. Wilson couldn't form thoughts coherently. He tried to think of way he could apologize to House.
He punched the dresser when a thought occurred to him, "You don't apologize for raping someone, you scum!"
He didn't know if he should go to work or not. He was pretty content on waiting to be arrested when he smelled bacon coming from the kitchen. He walked out slowly not knowing who to expect. He did not expect to see House in the kitchen in pajama pants and a t-shirt. Wilson stood there and watched the man he had abused, he felt sick. House hadn't turned right away, but when he did he just stared. He looked at Wilson, who was pale, sweating, and obviously shivering from shock.
He walked over to him slowly, making sure not to overstep Wilson's boundaries. When he didn't budge, House took that as either a "go ahead" or Wilson was just too afraid. House gently wrapped his arms around Wilson, and settled his head into Wilson's shoulder. Wilson's breathe caught, and House squeezed him tightly against him.
He raised his head and whispered, "I'm sorry Wilson…I…love you too" softly into Wilson's ear.
Wilson jerked away from House's embrace and back away slowly.
"How…could…how could you…be apologizing…to me?" Wilson asked grief stricken.
"Because I had it coming. I deserved it, I hurt you…you hurt me. Mutually assured destruction, remember?" House tried to reassure him.
"House!" Wilson shouted, and House flinched.
"You don't apologize to someone who beats and rapes you!" Wilson yelled as he cried violently.
"No one deserves that, especially not you! And…I…" Wilson collapsed on the floor, breathing became painful again.
House stayed where he was, but his eyes never left Wilson.
"You didn't do anything wrong" House said to him with just a hint of uncertainty.
"How the fuck could you say that?" Wilson sobbed.
"You hit me, because I deserved it. I said terrible things and hurt you. You were well within your right to land a blow" House said in that calm raspy voice.
"And you didn't rape me either" He told Wilson confidently.
"What do you mean I didn't? House…I remember what happened!" Wilson cried sitting on the floor.
"Do you?" House said sarcastically, sitting down next to Wilson.
"It's apparent that you forgot that I played along. I let you do all those things, and I…took part." House told him wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"You weren't raping me; we were just having some rather violent sex, twenty years in the making. You just happen to fuel your anger into it." He added with a light hearted tone.
Wilson in disbelief scurried to a different corner of the living room wall.
"Why House? How could you let me hurt you?" Wilson said breathing heavily and crying.
"I told you already…I deserved it" House said flatly.
House scooted over to where Wilson was curled up, and embraced him.
"You basically told me you loved me also…just so you know" House said holding Wilson tightly.
In that moment Wilson lost control of his anxiety, and was hit with an attack. All sound faded, his breathing out of control in severe hyperventilation. His vision blurred as he lost sight of House's features. His heart pounded to fast, becoming painful and tight. A cold sweat formed on his body as he convulsed. All his senses were dulled, he thought he was dying. He could barely feel anything. He did feel that he was being cradled by something.
"That must be House" he thought.
He could only hear faintly, but he heard a firm yet caring tone, coming from somewhere...
"Wilson! Breathe! Come one…nice deep breaths Wilson!" he heard.
House sounded concerned, but he didn't know why. It was like his mind and body were separated. His body was failing but his mind at ease.
"Wilson! Please…you have to calm down! It's all going to be okay." House said tenderly.
House had placed a hand on Wilson's chest to try and restrict the air intake. Wilson placed his cold hand on top of it as he continued to lose himself in his panic attack. He hadn't noticed when House had started rocking them, but it was soothing. His chest tightened further, and he had trouble taking in air at all. He felt House's warm hand on his face, and began to pass out.
"No Wilson! You have to stay awake!" House said shaking him lightly.
Wilson noticed that House was sounding nervous now, but there was nothing he could do to console him.
"Please Wilson…breathe with me!" House begged.
He heard house inhale through his nose and exhale out his mouth, and started to copy the exercise.
"There you go, slowly now. In…and out" he heard House say.
He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, his lids to heavy, so he closed them. That's when he felt House's lips close over his. They were warm and plush, gentle and soft and seemed to help calm his body. His breathing became relaxed, his body stopped convulsing. The sweat was still drawing, and his senses hadn't fully returned, but he was more aware of his surroundings now. He felt House cradle him tighter, and he settled his head into House's collar bone. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, and he began to shiver not from fear bur from the aftermath of the attack.
Once Wilson was calm and in control again, House needed to break the silence.
"We don't have to go to work you know…" he said hoarsely.
Wilson scoffed and added, "Cuddy will have our heads" with a forced chuckle.
"You go, I'll meet you in later, okay?" Wilson asked looking desperate.
House sighed and said, "I'll tell Cuddy you'll be late"
"Thank you…I just…" Wilson started.
"Need some space" House finished for him and Wilson nodded.
When House had let go and went to get dressed for work, Wilson had sat up against the back of the couch and just lost himself in thought.
He looked up when he heard House ask, "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"
"Yeah go. I'll meet you later" he said back knowing it was a total lie.
House hobbled over to him and kneeled down.
He placed a gentle kiss on Wilson's lips and added, "I…I love you" a bit nervously.
Wilson just nodded unable to say it back. House sensed this and left on his way. Wilson sat there for hours against the couch. Every second of memory flashed before him. The way he punched House, slapped him and drew blood. All of the horrible things said to each other. The way he tied House to the bed, even though he begged and pleaded, and he just ignored him. The way he…forced himself into his friend, and fucked him mercilessly, and filled him with his cum. Wilson sat there disgusted with himself. He contemplated turning himself in, he didn't deserve to have House in his life anymore, let alone House's love.
"I'm…fucking scum!" Wilson said to himself and banged his fists on the floor.
Though he'd rather be dead than in prison…that's when it struck. He shot up to his feet and ran down to his car and got something out of the trunk.
When he got back up to the loft he threw the rope from the car on the dining table.
"I have to do this delicately" he thought to himself.
He went over to the desk and grabbed a pen and paper. He had never done this before, so he really didn't know what was appropriate.
He scribbled down a few sentences and ended it with a rather cliché, "I love you too"
When he was done he folded the paper like a name card, and placed it on the table facing the foyer.
On the front he had written "To Greg"
He went over into the living room and looked up the beams running across the ceiling calculating height. He brought the chair and rope over, and stood up to tie the rope to one of the beams.
He got down and checked to see, "Yeah that will do"
He left the room to continue his shower that had been interrupted by the memories of his crime. He got dressed in his best suit that he had, and wore the tie that House loved…the green one. He did a bit of cleaning to make sure he could erase what happened as best he could, though he would always have the memory. When he was finished he took out a bottle of whiskey he had hidden. He kept it incase he ever hit rock bottom again. He went and sat over on the couch with the chair and noose in front of him.
He looked at his watch, "Noon, House and I would be having lunch, and he'd be stealing my food."
He said out loud. Like House had heard him through time and space, the phone rang and low and behold, House himself had called. Wilson couldn't bring himself to answer the phone. He knew hearing House's voice would make him tell his plan, and then House would probably rush over and stop him from doing it. Or he would call the police to stop him. He wanted to answer, he really did, but then the sound of House's screaming came back to him. The sobbing pleads, the begs, the yelps of pain as he slammed into House forcefully.
House had left a message. He couldn't help himself and hit play.
"Wilson, its noon and you're not in. I told you everything is okay, you didn't do anything wrong. Please don't do anything stupid"
Wilson winced at that, like house knew exactly what he was doing.
"I love…" House started, but Wilson picked up the phone and cradle and threw it across the room.
He didn't want to hear House say he loved him. He couldn't bare that after what he had done to him, his best friend. He continued to knock back whiskey as he stared at the hanging looked at his watch again…5 pm on the dot.
"House won't wait to get here" he thought.
"Probably fifteen minutes" he guessed.
He knocked back one final glass and stood up, albeit wobbly. He straightened his tie and jacket and stood up on the chair. He put the loop of rope around his neck and tightened it. For someone who was about to end his life, he was surprisingly calm. Wilson knew he would never be able to look at House or live with himself with the memory of the previous night. He stood there and waited until he heard the distinct sound of House's bike. Wilson figured that by the time House makes it to the door and up to the loft…that should be enough time. He heard the bike go silent…that was his cue. He stepped off the chair in one swift motion. He felt the rope tighten and all the blood rushed to his feet.
"Fuck!" he wanted to yell but the rope prevented his speaking. He had miscalculated the height. It wasn't enough to break his neck, so now he had to strangle to death. Wilson didn't try to squirm; he let the numbing consume him. He felt the air become restricted, his body tingled, and his vision was failing. As he was fading into blackness, he caught sight of a figure in the foyer. He couldn't make it out, his vision was gone. Wilson hoped that it was House, and wanted to smile. He tried, but did not know if he was successful, before everything faded away and his last breath escaped him.
The figure who gazed on was indeed House. He stood there in horror as he watched Wilson's body hang from the ceiling.
His body was frozen, but his mind screamed, "What the fuck are you waiting for!"
House limped as fast as he could over into the living room, and stood on the chair. He tried to untie the knot but was unsuccessful. He hopped off, his leg screamed in protest. He went as fast as he could into the kitchen and took out a knife. He stood back up on the chair and cut the rope. Wilson's stiff body fell to the floor. House crawled on the floor next to him and took the noose off. Wilson wasn't breathing and House panicked. He began CPR, pumping Wilson's chest and breathing into this mouth to inflate the lungs.
"Please Wilson! You can't…do this!" House begged, tears rolling down his face.
"You can't leave me now!" House shouted. No response.
He continued for about seven minutes before he gave up. House held his head in his hands and sobbed, harder than he ever had before in his life. Wilson was dead, and he couldn't save him. He sat back against the cushions and took Wilson's body up in his arms and cradled him. He cupped Wilson's face with his hand…stone cold. House could smell the whiskey.
"Wilson…I should have known better, I should have stayed." He lamented.
"I fucking told you it was okay, you did nothing wrong!" he shouted into Wilson's lifeless form.
House hoped more than anything that somehow, someway, his begging and pleading would cause Wilson to awake, but no, here he lied…lifeless. House knew he had to call it in, he had to call somebody. He pulled out his phone with one hand with still holding Wilson's body tightly. He dialed 911 emergencies.
"Hello…I need to report…a…suicide" he told the dispatcher unable to control his sobbing anymore.
He told the person where the address was and waited. He heard the sounds of different sirens blaring down the street shortly after. He heard a pounding on the door, but didn't have the strength to answer. Cops, firefighters and paramedics filled the condo. The paramedics started with paddles and oxygen. House knew it was pointless; Wilson had been gone to long to be brought back. When the paramedics sighed in defeat, they turned to House to ascertain time of death.
He looked at them and said, "Five twenty-five pm"
The on scene coroner stated, "Let the record show that the time of death for Dr. James Evan Wilson is five twenty-five pm, July first, twenty-ten. Cause of death is apparent suicide".
The corner and the paramedics patted House's shoulder to comfort him, but all he could watch what them put Wilson in the body bag and zip it up and haul him away.
Outside the condo Nora their next door neighbor watched in horror as she watched them carry the body of the loft. She ran inside and found House right where was not having moved at all. His breath was shallow and his eyes drooped, despair clearly written on his face. She sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him and cried. House had stopped to talk to her in the hallway. She wanted to make amends. He wish he hadn't stopped, meanwhile Wilson was hanging himself, and no one knew it. He returned her embrace needing to not be alone.
He tuned to her and asked her to get the note from the table that said, "To Greg" on it. All Wilson had written was a bunch of last wishes…pointless crap.
But house settled on the last line, "I love you too House. I do."
He must have read that line over and over again while he cried and Nora comforted them both.