Kira-Proof Writing Production

Inspired by a certain episode in an old TV show I used to watch (Drake and Josh). Since almost everyone in Death Note has an addiction to something (except Light) this came into mind. I don't own the Death Note characters (if I did, Matt would have more screen time, Rem would've just given Misa the Death Note and left, and Light would not have psycho-laughs every 5 minutes.) and I don't own the contract joke (it belongs to Drake and Josh).

L, Mello, Near, and Matt each doing their own thing. Mello was eating chocolate, Matt was playing a video-game, Near was playing with a toy car, and L was eating cake.

Crinkle crinkle. SNAP.

Let'sa go! Dododododo do do...

"...Vroom...! ...Vroom...!" (Yes, Near does sound effects when he's playing with cars. Really! Don't give me that look! I heard him!)

"Watari! More!" L ordered as Watari magically appeared with more strawberry cake.

The room would've been quiet if it weren't for those sounds ever 5 seconds. Slowly it was getting on everyone's nerves. Until Mello snapped first.

"Near, stop playing with the damn racecar!" Mello ordered Near.

"Matt, stop playing the Mario game!" Near yelled at Matt.

"When L stops calling for Watari every 2 seconds!" Matt retorted.

"Mello, stop snapping chocolate!" L snapped.

Soon everyone in the room was scolding each other about the others' addictions. Watari quietly got out of the room before things could get out of hand. The Task Force was watching this insanity from the monitors thinking Aren't these guys supposed to be geniuses? Then all of them shouted something along the lines of "(So and so) you wouldn't last one day without (such and such)! You wanna make a bet on it? Damn straight I do!"

Matsuda grinned. "This should be good."

Everyone else raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, Matsuda?" Ide asked.

"I mean, come on! Have you ever seen L without sweets? Or Near without toys? Or Mello without chocolate? Or Matt without video games or a cigarette?"

"True..." everyone else said.

"I bet L would last longest." Matsuda sighed. "Those kids will snap in an hour."

"But that Matt kid seems pretty tough," Mogi said. "He'll win."

"No, Near will win!" Aizawa said.

"Seeing as he's the only one left, I'll have to bet on Mello." Ide sighed.

Light walked into the room with a long contract. L rushed up to read the contract. "'L must not eat eat sweets, or anything sugar based." L grimaced. "Nor can L chew his fingers." He glanced at Near. "Near must not play with toys. This includes toy robots, cards, dice, puzzles, scale models, or even a plastic bottle." Near grinned as he reached up for his hair. "Near must also not twirl his hair, since that is his back-up addiction."

Near facepalmed. "Darn it..." Near mumbled.

L continued reading. "Matt must not play video games." Matt pulled out a box of cigarettes. "And can't smoke." Matt almost started crying. "As for Mello, he can't have chocolate bars. Or chocolate bunnies, or chocolate ice cream, or the chocolate syrup for the chocolate ice cream..." (4 hours later) "...or Coco Puffs. That clear?" Mello nodded. "If they do they must hang...?" Everyone looked nervously at each other. L turned the page. "...out with one of the following..."

"Misa Amane." Mello's eye twitched. As he mumbled a barely audible "Oh god..."

"Teru Mikami." Near facepalmed again.

"Kiyomi Takada." Matt backed away with a guilty look on his face.

"And..." L dropped the paper. "...a rabid fangirl that goes by the name of Bri."

"Wasn't she our fangirl?" Matt asked Mello.

"She is. But you remember what happened the last time she saw L." Mello said referring to the incident with the rubber chicken, L, and banana pudding.

"Oh yeah..."

"Is it a deal?" Light asked as he patted the contract.

"It's a deal." Everyone said as they signed.

Yay! First chappie is done! If the next chappie is late... don't flame! Please! (I might not have time to right the next chappie!)