So. My laptop is still in with the geek squad. I finally got the chance to update a story, but I have no idea when I'll be able to next! When I am, I'll be updating "Such Difference" because that only has two chapters left and I would really like to get it all finished up!
We are sooo close to Edward/Bella being together. I can almost taste it. From here, the time is going to move forward a little faster and then slow a bit again. We'll see how that goes.
Thanks for all the reviews last chapter…you guys are just plain swell.
Hmm. The Eclipse DVD comes out tomorrow, does it not? Are you going to go and buy it? Or are you holding out for Christmas?
BPOV- January 9, 2010, New York City:
I had left the sharp, quiet cold of Forks for the dirty, loud winter of New York City. My last few days in Forks had been spent lazily. I took several walks around town, visited with some old friends that had also been home for Christmas, and spent some quality time with my dad on the few days that he had off.
The only bad thing was that I hadn't seen Edward again after the wedding…after we kissed like that. Honestly, I had been hoping to see him around town on one of my walks or maybe even at the diner again, but he was nowhere to be seen. Finally, after my fruitless, pathetic search, I had to come to the conclusion that he was spending the rest of the holiday with his father and stepmother in Port Angeles.
There were so many questions I had about Edward…the more I found out about him, the more I wanted to know. He could be so quiet, so closed off, at times.
But really, I shouldn't have been focusing on him. I couldn't even call him mine anymore, so I needed to focus on other things. And that mean finally getting my head back into school and dancing. I was a little ashamed of my performance in the past.
I had not been focused, and that had been obvious to my instructors. My grades hadn't been good and I needed to improve a lot, unless I would be in danger of losing my scholarship or even going on probation.
Today, my mom and I were meeting up for our usual Sunday lunch together. And as usual, she was running late.
I sat in a booth in the back at the Prime Burger, messing with my cell phone as I waited. I was glad that I was close to my mom now, but I was already missing the steady, predictable calmness I had grown accustomed to while staying with Charlie.
Still waiting, I nervously sent a text message to Edward.
How've you been? I miss you. –B
Just then, I glanced up and saw my mom walking into the small restaurant, looking around for me. I waved at her, smiling as she hurried towards me.
"Bella!" She sat down next to me, leaning over the table and kissing my cheek. "Are you excited to go back to school tomorrow?" She asked, picking up her menu and glancing it over quickly.
I shrugged, taking a sip of my Diet Coke. "Yeah, I guess. I was really glad to have time off, though. I was getting pretty stressed out."
My mom smiled sympathetically, one of those understanding smiles only a mother can give you, and I knew she was being completely genuine.
"You'll be fine, Bella. I know that no matter what you do, you'll turn out wonderfully. You are my daughter, after all," she said with a wink. I laughed, and then I was thankful because my mom quickly changed the subject. "Tell me a little more about your Forks vacation, Isabella. Did you have a nice time with your father?"
I was so happy my parents could be so casual about each other, even though I knew things were definitely still uncomfortable and tense between them. But my neither of my parents had ever stopped me from talking about the other. They had always listened to my stories about vacations and trips and fun times without harboring bad feelings.
"It was good. Rosalie Hale got married on Christmas Eve," I informed her, wondering if she would even remember Rosalie. Since we hadn't been all that close, I couldn't even remember if I had mentioned her to my mom before in more than passing.
"Oh, really?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "Was she in the grade above you?"
"Yeah. She married Emmet McCarty…he works at the station with Dad and, um, Edward. Everyone figures that she's pregnant, even though they haven't come right out and said it."
My mom laughed softly, and we paused our conversation as the waiter took our order. Of course, my mom quickly picked it up again. "So, she's pregnant?"
"Probably," I said with a shrug, taking a quick peek at my phone again. Thankfully, Edward had just finished.
I'm good, and I miss you too. I'm on call now, though, so… -E
I made a little face, taking Edward's hint not to text him right now.
"Hmm." I could feel my mom staring at me, so I glanced up and met her eyes.
"Honey, this is a little crass to be talking about this here, in the Prime Burger…but you and Edward were safe and everything right? I know you're an adult, but I want to make sure that you two were smart about that kind of stuff."
I blushed bright red, sputtering slightly in disbelief. "Oh my god, Mom! I cannot believe you just asked me that…" I trailed off, hiding my face in my hands. "For the record, we didn't have to be safe because we never did anything. I was seventeen years old when we were actually together…and honestly, that all fell apart after a month. It never progressed to that kind of thing."
My mom, oblivious to my total humiliation, just patted my hand. "That's good to know, baby."
I had missed Alice and Angela and Tanya and everyone else at school, but once rehearsal and class started up again, I had absolutely no time to hang out with them. Edward and I were texting back and forth, and he had even called me a couple of times. It was definitely not as intense as it had been previously, but it still felt good just talking to him again. I really had missed him.
January quickly turned into February and I was still stressed out and feeling overworked. My weight had gone down, I was tired all the time, and I had caught a cold from my mom. And again, my schoolwork and dance performance was suffering.
Angela and Alice were the first to notice, but I brushed off their attempts to help me relax and calm down. I was wired and exhausted at the same time, which definitely wasn't a good combination.
At this point, I just wanted a break. I wanted a break from the rehearsals and the late night studying, and more than once I found myself miserably wondering why I was doing this in the first place. I had once been one of the best, and I now I was quickly falling to the bottom of the barrel. Sometimes, I just wanted to give up and quit; go home to Forks.
I knew that if I went back, it could all be very simple. I could date Edward for a few more years, go to community college, get a job at the school (one of the few jobs that were actually available in Forks these days), get married, and start a family. It could be that simple.
But did I want that for myself? I was eighteen years old…I just couldn't see myself living like that. I loved New York City, and I loved dancing ballet. Was I willing to give all of that up for a simple, undisturbed and seemingly untroubled life in Forks with Edward?
I would be so happy with Edward, but there would be another big hole missing out of my life if I couldn't have my dancing, too.
Could there actually find a happy middle, or was it really one way or the other?
Live in Forks with Edward and give up dancing professionally…or live out my dream to the fullest and miss out on what could possibly be true love? I didn't know if what I felt for Edward could really be defined as true love, but the elements, the puzzle pieces, were all there.
But I also didn't know if I would ever be able to find a truly happy medium between the two things I was passionate about.
That one was a little short again…but man, it took a long time to get finished! I guess I'm just sooo anxious to skip ahead to the summer…which yes, will be coming soon. I can't be sure, but it'll be sometime in the next few chapters. It could even be in the very next one, but I can't make any promises. Sometimes things just get in the way.
I want to try and update again over the weekend, if I can. We'll see. If I gain access to a computer again, I'm going to update "Such Difference". But another update for this is next on my list…and then "Eye of the Beholder", and then "Picture Perfect".
Please review, as always!
Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie