"Entry for the Darkella's Darkest Temptation contest"
Title: Pleasure of the Flesh
Pen Name: soulspirit18
Summary: After BD. Numbness can cause anyone to set out to create new hobbies in order to simply feel. What does Bella do to get away from all the nothingness? Who else does she think needs help feeling?
Word Count: 4,666
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. The critters in my head simply tell me what to do with Stephanie Meyer's characters.
WARNING: Story contains Language, Lemons, and Violence. I seriously suggest you minors to turn back the other way.
Masterpieces take time to create, and if you finally accomplish making a piece of art that everyone deems a masterpiece, does that mean you have to stop lest you make something better? Does that mean you can stop your creations now? What happens when you make something much better? Is there such a thing as making two or more masterpieces?
Does this even fucking matter?
Probably not, but I do believe I have made way more than one masterpiece. At least to me, they are all the work of genius, every single one; though they never stick around for anyone to see.
I doubt many would agree with me. Sick, disgusting, and grotesque may be what would most likely be what would spew from their mouths like shit from their asses. As if I care about their opinions, as if I care for anyone's opinions.
"Hey gorgeous, can I help you with anything?" A random nomad asked in a voice insinuating what he would really like to help me with, and the fact that he stared at my bare chest did not hide that.
"Yes, I believe you can."
Bodies collided; clothes torn throughout the forest floor; groans, moans, screams, and metallic vibrations echoed through the soundless woods; a purple fog soon covered the area.
He got what he wanted, and so did I.
Another art piece to add to the collection stored in my mind.
Many months later
Out, out, out…
It chanted over and over again. I tell it to be patient. Soon we will get what it desires. What we desire.
Out, out, out…
The family is mostly gathered all around the living room watching, playing, and laughing. Usually I would be enjoying all this, bask in it, but the urges are coming stronger with every passing, seemingly slowing, second.
Was it a need or a want? I didn't know, nor did I care, but if I had to say I believe it is all need and want.
Maybe I had just snapped, don't know how… don't know why, but then again, I just don't give a fuck. Maybe this was who I had always been; I mean, take a look at what I was like as a human.
Wasn't it I, who for some reason, could never stop causing pain to my two loves? Was I ever really selfless? Perhaps I saved some people's lives but in the long run, I believe causing pain on others was something I did continually, and actually found pleasure in it. When I cried for them, was it ever really for them? Looking back on all that now, I think I was more upset about never having to get what I truly wanted.
Or perhaps I had simply snapped the first time Edward left me and I started to hear his voice.
Hearing an ex-boyfriend's voice in my head really should have tipped me off on what I might take into my vampire life. I suppose the smart thing to have done would have been to tell Carlisle but Edward and I really never thought it to be a big deal. Which was probably completely idiotic on both our parts, but I would have to say more so on his than mine.
I mean, come on, he was the one hundred and eight year old vampire- mind reader, when at the time I was just an eighteen year old human that did close to suicidal things just to hear a voice of an ex-boyfriend. Yes, he really should have worried about it.
I guess no one would have known that sometimes, things like that could crossover. And even after thirty years they still don't know about my, well, what they would consider, problem.
What I do— it's not a problem—it's more of a… satisfactional release.
Maybe the voices were not to blame, since the only reason all this started was because still being a sort of danger-magnet, had me finding myself alone with some nomad that wanted to fuck. Let's just say I had the luck and pleasure of tearing him apart and tossing the pieces in flames. My "problem" just came out after, perhaps— more so— during, that.
Thirty years since then and I still felt like I could not stop. I would not stop. I did not want to stop.
This was the only control I was able to have, since I just had to marry an overbearing, over-controlling husband that would not allow me any type of my own control. Perhaps, he is the reason I was led to do this. Fucking pussy wouldn't even allow me to be on top once in awhile. 'It's only about showing our love for one another', was his dipshit answer. That was all fine and dandy the first couple years of our marriage, but boy, does it get boring very quickly. I haven't been able to get any release from him in over twenty five years.
Even my love for him has dwindled to basically nonexistent. He is the same in every way, but I am not.
Whatever had made me find joy in my new art doesn't even really fucking matter. The only thing that truly mattered was that I did in fact fucking love it.
I suppose living in numbness for some years can cause you to turn to anything just to feel.
If no one in this perfect family noticed the way I was with Edward then they all are a bigger bunch of idiots than I was just beginning to think. I mean I would think it was obvious by my gestures sometimes or looks that he disgusted me and that I, of course, no longer wanted him.
If they knew what I wanted now, would they all be disgusted by me?
I think they would. Something that I do every couple of months is not proper behavior from someone in the Cullen family, even if it is to satisfy a part of who you are…who we are. They would never suspect it from me to give in to my addiction. To give in to my beast.
Edward always spoke of being a monster, but how can that ever be true to this family unless they gave in.
I am a monster.
I love being me.
Would they love me still if they knew me fully? Is that not what love is? To love someone whole despite their flaws.
If they knew mine, what I had now would be gone.
Bella Cullen is just the proper daughter, wife, and mother.
And I am. Because what they don't know can't hurt them. But in time, I think who I am will come out to show them and then they won't be just hurt…they'll be gone.
Over the years, the person I was, the one that would have been extremely heartbroken to have them all gone… well, that person is no longer around. Sure, there is still a part of her still here, basically the part that still wants to hope that I will feel for all of them, including Edward, what I once had. But I know that I am not that young, innocent girl anymore, though, I pretend for his sake…for their sake…but most of all probably more for my sake.
None of them know me anymore, and the selfish, most dominant part of me will not allow them to leave me. I mean there is no reason to lose everything I have, just for my secret activities when I can keep it all with a few lies here or there.
In the beginning, I had been surprised that Alice had never seen what was going on. Surely she should have seen what I did when I would go 'hunting' by myself. Surely she would have seen I was not hunting the norm. Surely Jasper would have felt my lies, my true feelings.
The answer came when she hadn't gotten much visions of me and told me when she would try, something was pushing her back. We concluded that perhaps my shield had grown stronger over the last thirty years. And Jasper was only allowed to feel what I wanted him too.
What a fool he is.
When I had been human, I believed the way he never let his natural beast take over was something to be respected, I found it admirable.
Now…now though it is terribly ridiculous.
My beast called for his, to allow him the chance of showing me that he wasn't pathetic...that he was to be respected.
I had met his old comrades and heard many tales of the terrifying Major Whitlock, the God of War.
Since finding my new…let's say hobby…my whole being wanted the major to play. To have him be mine in every way. It will be our own little secret, and he would have to keep it.
I knew he was going to love everything I would show him. I could see it in his eyes from time to time when he thinks nobody is looking; Jasper was having the same numbness for everything and everyone around us as I have been.
I would have what I have been craving since all those many years ago. I believe now it is a certainty that I will not be caught. And for his sake, he not be caught either.
Though allowing Jasper to see everything I did have the potential to ruin everything I had worked so hard to gain, having him as mine was almost totally worth it. Almost.
No, no I want it all; the major and this content family. And I was going to have it all.
Major Whitlock will come out and he shall love my hobby.
It is a high risk on my part to be caught, but now that I know how to control my shield so well, it should be easy to get him to follow me and not have anything to worry about.
I'm curled up against Edward in a fake contentment, my whole body wanting to run out into the murky forest. I searched for Jasper through my peripherals and watched as he read a book on the staircase.
I wrapped my shield around him and could feel the slight taste of him. Edward didn't seem to notice that he could no longer hear Jasper's thoughts, which is incredibly good.
Slowly I allowed some of my emotions to spread out. Simply a taste. Letting him feel some of my urges, the things no one has any ideas about.
My eyes stayed trained on the blurs of characters on the television. I could feel his eyes focused on me now, looking through my peripherals again he seemed to be filled with confusion maybe even shock, and above all curiosity.
I simply send him a wink, before turning my gaze back to the screen with a small grin.
I know I have him. He will follow. And he will be mine.
My days would all be so much better if I could get a couple of humans. Fuck with them in all the right ways. But they would all know because of the eyes…my eyes that would change to the same color I would be drinking.
So I did the next best thing, something there was no proof for. I got to fuck around, not with humans but I suppose I got way more...satisfaction with those I chose then I would with the flesh and blood, with more challenging pieces that filled me with so much pleasure.
And oh did it fill me with pleasure. The sounds, the sight, the smell…
I got to commit a lot—if not all— of ultimate sins and I absolutely thrived on it all.
The furry little critters were hiding in noisy silence under or in their homes. The hearts and breaths stuttered and picked up at a wonderful pace, but I ran passed all of them. I was not here to hunt them, not today.
I ran at least a state away this time and found myself near a campsite where a few humans roamed to their tents around unaware of the predator a few feet away in the darkening forest. I found these were the best and easiest places to be to find the ones I look for.
The moonlight shined brightly, illuminating liquid like shadows around my feet as I ran around the forest, not straying too far from the campsite. I know Jasper is near, my shield still around him, his taste in my mind. I chose to pretend that I had no idea he was there, watching me. He was my second priority at the moment.
I soon picked up the scent of inedible sweetness that indicated a vampire, and the slight musk smell that pointed out it was a male. I quickly raced to the front of the source, allowing the trees and bushes to tear at my clothes.
I had to stop him from making it to the humans, knowing I sadly couldn't partake in that feast. He stumbled to a stop in front of me with a predatory and angered gaze, but that quickly vanished as he took in my semi-naked form.
Glistening ruby eyes stared at me with complete, unhidden lust. It was all too easy to trap them, because at the moment they only ever see me as a release toy. Sadly for them, they are the ones that truly become the toy.
My shredded clothes slid down my body with every step I took towards his unmoving form. He held my gaze with half lidded ones, waiting as they always do.
My hand slid between his pecks, lightly ghosting down to graze the very obvious bulge barely being contained in dark washed jeans. A heavy groan slipped passed his lips as his hips bucked forward slightly, trying to try to urge me on.
"I'm Henry." He hissed almost inaudibly.
"Bella." I said.
I quickly crashed to my knees, ripping his jeans down with me. My tongue licked around the tip before taking his whole cock through my lips. I swirled my tongue around while moving him in and out. A strong growl echoed through the silent forest as I began to take him deeper to hit the back of my throat.
His fingers were all looped in my hair before he began to fuck my mouth. I hummed against his shaft and felt his shudders as he came. I swallowed everything just before he tackled me to the muddy ground.
No words were exchanged as he plunged roughly into my already wet sex. I gave moans and groans appropriately, though he was not really doing anything, but by the way he pumped frantically I could tell he was having the time of his life.
Getting tired of this faking, I rolled us over so I was now the one in control. I looked up as I began an inhuman pace and found Jasper watching in the dark. I tightened myself around this Henry's cock and felt the milking start.
My hands went to his head quickly as he was still lost in his orgasm. What happens next, they never suspect. With my hands still, and a firm hold, I moved my mouth to the neck, and unsuspectingly sink my teeth deep and give a powerful tug, effectively tearing the dumbass's head off.
The sound… oh, the sound explodes my mind with a bright white then new images of all colors swirl brilliantly through my head.
The screeching flesh always awakened what was always pacing impatiently in the recesses of my mind. The sound would burn through my ears in the most delightful melody. The metallic piercing cacophony traveled all throughout my body, causing tingles to run in my frozen veins.
I bring my face to the shoulder next, sinking and tearing an arm. An electric current swam in a tingling dance, making me sway with it as the arm snaps from its socket and is ripped completely off.
They never knew what was happening; one minute I am giving them such pleasure, the next I am getting mine in a way they would not have dreamed of. I always look at it like the perfect trade. They get their pleasure in any way they so chose with my flesh, and I get mine from theirs.
The sharp piercing sounds and the sight of it always shot through my skull, sending shudders to wrack throughout my body. My release would come and even when the body was headless, it still felt their sweet pleasure before I sent it to the fall to the fire.
Then there was the smell. It's always so sweet. So sour.
Venom oozed slowly from the wound, glinting in a most tantalizing manner. I couldn't help myself from licking it up, just a little taste every time.
The limbs I tore leaked with the poisonous ooze and I pranced around the clearing, splattering the venom this way and that while the head watched in agony. When I believed I was finished, I pulled out my Zippo lighter and bent in the middle of the clearing where the biggest venom was piled up this time.
Soon it was set on fire and I jumped in a tree in order to take an appreciating look at the design. The fire is shaped like a star and from the middle the fire runs in various swirls and circles with a dot here or there all situated in the star; it's actually one of the top twenty paintings I have created.
I can feel the tightening deep within, and it always made me turn to the only body around, which happened to be with no head and missing limbs.
The heat I always felt with the sensory overload shot straight to my core. It had me bucking my hips frantically against this headless and armless body, and coming like no one seemed to know how to make me.
The body quickly goes in the flames when I'm done, with the head screaming for it back. I leave the head this time, wanting some type of an audience for the new show about to begin.
In the end I always create a masterpiece in so many different arts.
I am truly talented.
The music I orchestrate, the smells I create, and the sight of purple haze I decorate the forest with is all a breathtaking sight.
The only thing I ever regretted was that no one could know of the talents I possessed, or that this was the only way I gained a true release.
But it is all different today, because I could see him through the trees watching me do my practice. I know he appreciates my art, though his eyes hold shock and conflict. The gold I have grown to hate stared at me with raging emotions, but slowly the blackness of death began to take over and I knew the Major was just about to come out to play.
No one understands that we live for destruction. We live for these arts.
"Bella?" He said questioningly, his eyes still conflicting. "What have you done?"
"Oh, Jasper," I sighed. "I've just been doing something that helps me survive with the…entire nothing that is at home."
"By torturing and killing some stranger." He said, glancing at Henry's head that continues to scream for an end. "Bella this isn't you."
"That right there is where you are wrong; this is who I have been since my first newborn year ended. This is what I love to do, the only way I can feel anymore." I told him.
"What about the Cullen's?" He asked, his demeanor shifting slightly in a way I know I am winning.
"I'll keep them, of course. Free houses, clothes, and such…How could I possibly leave? All I have to do is act a little and I get whatever I want, well…except for this type of fun." I said, gesturing around the smoking forest.
"Why show me your emotions?" He asked, confusion breaking completely through. "Why have me follow?"
"I have wanted you for a long while now, Jasper." I said, becoming impatient, just wanting to have what's mine already.
A light breeze blew in our direction and the smell of flesh on fire assaulted our noses. Jasper began to make his way slowly over to me. The smell is oh so wonderful and along with his sexy stride, causes a moan to slip through my lips.
"I can tell, darlin', but did you really have to throw such a party?" He joked, finally relaxed.
Jasper took a deep breath, inhaling the smoke and my arousal. He projected his gift to me, letting me know that he loved the mixture. He's so full of lust and adoration it almost blows my mind away.
"You wanna play, Jasper?" I asked, ignoring the screams coming from the head and the still heavy flames that are a few feet away. "Because I would love to play with the major, can he come out?"
"Ah, Bella, I'm not too sure you can handle that side of me." Jasper drawled with a smirk.
"Why don't we find out, shall we?"
Another deep inhale and a quick sweep of the scene, and soon his eyes darken and seem to become solid. A heavy growl lashes out of his lips and the Major is soon an inch from my face.
I smiled and felt my lust grow to un-fucking-believable stages for this god. I always needed him and now I was going to have him, and hopefully get to keep him.
His mouth latched on my left breast quickly, nipping and sucking, causing for the first time in ages real moans to slide from my lips like drops of rain.
A hand roamed across my stomach, straight to my sex, flicking a finger against my clit, causing me to shudder and almost collapse on him.
Jasper pushed me roughly to the ground and pounced before I could even have a thought. He sat between my legs and moved his hands gently from my shoulders down to my legs.
"You're so damn beautiful." He whispered against my thigh before leaving a kiss.
He kissed, nipped, and licked up my left leg to my soaking slit before moving to the other leg to continue his ministrations.
The feeling is completely different from the unfragile handling he was doing just a minute ago, it's not a feeling I don't like, but it is definitely different. I suppose it's because all the men I have ended up messing around with, including Edward, have all just did what they needed to get a release. They never bother to think of my needs, bunch of selfish bastards think that all I am is some hole that they simply pump their load out.
When he licked through my slit again, he spread my legs much farther apart and placed a last kiss on my clit. Soon he had my legs tossed over his shoulders and his tongue circling around my nub. I was trembling under his touch. Jasper inserted a finger into me, making me buck under him and grinding into the intrusion.
Jasper's mouth played, licked, and sucked my clit continuiously. His fingers would pump in at various speeds, that had me shaking and pleading unlike myself.
Another finger was pushed in, and the speed became unhumanly fast. My hands clawed through the grass and the dirt. Whimpers and groans raising past my lips towards the heavens.
"Scream my name, Bella." He commanded when he felt the tightening around his fingers.
I screamed, oh did I scream. I knew giving him a chance was an excellent choice; I only hoped that he didn't do something to prove me wrong. That would mean dire consequences for him, and…I just didn't want to add him to my collectibles.
It felt like my limbs were immobile as I laid there in euphoria of ecstasy that I couldn't ever recall having, even with my hobby.
Fuck, if his that good with simply his tongue and a few fingers…
Before I even recovered, he entered his big solid cock swiftly into me. Jasper pulled out almost fully before plunging deeper and harder into me. His nails dig roughly into my hips and it made me all the wetter. I could feel my venom from my hips sliding between my legs towards our connecting parts.
His thrusts were rough and hard, but not fast enough. He seemed to be teasing me. I fucking loved and hated it.
"Fuck me faster, Major, ugh faster." I screamed.
He pulled at my hair and my scalp felt like it was on fire, his pace began to slow. "Do not command me."
I nodded quickly, desperately trying to control my body from thrusting to get him to move faster. My head swung side to side in agony at what Jasper was keeping from me.
"Please, Major." I pleaded. "Please."
His dick soon pounded roughly in the right places, and I found myself singing for him. Our pelvis's smacked together causing our skin and bones to crack, but the pain only heightened our pleasure.
My hands were just all over at first, simply memorizing this dark angel. Finally though one hand tangled through his blond locks, tugging and scraping; he seemed to love the rough pulling and nail digging that have my hands filled with his venom, which is good because I wasn't planning on stopping.
My other hand was on his ass, pushing him more to me and squeezing. I couldn't help digging my nails through his flesh. Our bodies are soon canvases to one another, as we kept putting deep cuts and rips throughout one another's flesh.
"Mine, mine, mine." He kept growling as he continued pounding in to me.
"All yours." I kept shouting. "All yours, Major."
One of the hands that had a tight grip on my hip moved down and to my swollen nub. He furiously rubbed and I felt as if I was about to black the fuck out.
"Come, Bella." He roared. "Now."
His teeth sunk where my neck met my collarbone making me yell curses mixed in with his name as I came intensely all around him. My vision turned dark before white dots erupted around the edges, then slowly but surely, colors and shapes made their way around me.
I could see that Jasper was just stilling in me and I couldn't resist pulling him closer to my mouth. As my teeth entered his flesh, he bucked into me growling. I moved my head back admiring my mark.
He was mine. I was his. But no one could know, how sad.
Jasper crashed to the side of me and pulled me against his chest. Just as I was about to curl more against his side I remembered the head only a few feet behind me. Henry's yells seemed to change to whimpers. I got up, ignoring Jasper's protests, and kicked Henry's head into the dwindling flames before cuddling against a chuckling Jasper.
I don't remember ever feeling this contentment; I usually had to fake it all the time. Perhaps, I had these feelings in the first year of this life, or maybe I did in my human life.
I don't know, nor do I care.
The only thing that I cared about was that Jasper didn't decide to do anything to fuck this up.
This was our secret, this was our life.
But as I lay happily next to him and his hand drew nonsensical shapes on my body with the projection of his gift surrounding us, I knew he was just as much into this as I had been from the very beginning.
He would become a big part of my future masterpieces. He would derive just as much pleasure of the flesh as I had.