Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…

The Charges

The judge stood up and addressed the man staring up at him with expressionless eyes. "Madara Uchiha, your charges are as such: Breaking and entering into a government owned facility, the conspiring to and the inciting of a jailbreak," he began, before adding, "We will reduce your sentence if you give the whereabouts of the escapee, Uchiha Izuna."

Bored out of his mind, the arrogant, long-haired man lounged on the hard wooden chair and frowned. "Surely you are not so stupid as to believe I'd do something like that?" He crossed his long legs and silently cursed the handcuffs that held him captive.

The judge let that slide. "Resisting arrest when confronted," The judge continued to read from a lengthy slip of paper.

"…Hn." Madara didn't even pretend to be paying attention.

"The possession, distribution, and use of illegal firearms and substances, and assault with a deadly weapon."

It appeared as though the Uchiha juvenile had fallen asleep. He looked obnoxiously uninterested, which in truth, he was.

"Gang affiliation, attempted homicide as well as terrorism, abduction."

"Really now." Madara smirked, eyes still closed.

"Reckless driving under the influence and the endangerment of civilians, the damage of private property and the destruction of government property."

A smirk slid across Madara's lips as he slid further down into the chair, tauntingly. "Hn. And you haven't?" That was supposed to be sarcasm.

A dark look crossed over the judge's face. "And the assault and sexual harassment of Officer Senju Hashirama. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty." Madara suddenly snapped.

"The evidence presented by the witness is overwhelm…"

Madara suddenly shot up from his chair and the police on standby had to hold him down. "It was not sexual harassment, Tobi…it was the best god damn sex ever and your brother knows it!" He bellowed loud enough for the entire room to hear.

The courtroom was dead silent.

Tobirama face-palmed. "You handcuffed him to his own police cruiser, Madara!"

"He started it, two weeks ago to be exact." Madara suddenly twitched in irritation. "Kinky bastard. Pulling me over like that. Isn't that misuse of authority?" he accused smugly.

Tobirama looked like he was going to have a heart attack because of what he was hearing. "Uchiha, I don't what to hear about what you and Hashirama do in your spare time."

"What happened to you calling me brother-in-law?" Madara taunted.

Tobi stiffened for the briefest of moments at the reminder. "The witness has the stand." He suddenly snapped, swinging his gaze in the direction of the guards closest to the door.

The guard took the cue and went to get the witness in question. Exiting the room, he was sure to let the door click ominously…intimidation tactics.

There was a long silence as they waited for the guard to return.

Madara spoke up after a few minutes, addressing Tobirama with a small smirk. "He won't testify against me, Tobi."

Tobi's brow rose in question. "And why would you assume that, Madara?"

Madara stretched back over the chair and replied conceitedly, "Because I'm the best fuck he's ever had…and I know his social security number," he added a little too smugly.

Knowing smile, smirk. "You know he upholds the law above all else."

Madara's smirk died away slowly.

Crap. Damn the Senju's sense of duty. It didn't matter whether or not the Senju had some sort of feelings for him; he knew that Hashi would testify against him in interest of public safety from his rash behavior.

It kind of hurt thinking about it, not much though. But still…he thought the Senju would have enjoyed having their love life spiced up a bit, as if it already wasn't kinky enough being gang and police orientated, but it had been the thought that counted.


The guard reentered, alone, and looking highly agitated. "The witness will not be coming. He called in explaining he's dropped all charges against Uchiha Madara and that Madara Uchiha had not been associated with the crimes."

What! Madara didn't believe what he was hearing, and from the look strained over Tobirama's face, neither did he.

Madara recovered quickly. "See. I'm innocent. Now, about these handcuffs…" He concluded smoothly, casting Tobi a small smirk.

Tobi stiffened, but nonetheless gave the guards the okay to release Madara's hands. He didn't have a choice in the matter anyway…It was law, and he followed the law.

Madara rubbed his wrists and stood up, giving Tobi a knowing look. "Once again, I give you my thanks."

"Arrogant bastard." Tobi seethed, his trembling fingers laced together in an attempt to hold himself back from jumping the Uchiha himself and applying justice the old fashioned way.

This was the third time this week he'd gotten away clean!

A small, knowing glance was spared towards Tobi. "I'll tell Hashi you said "hi", next I see him."

Madara didn't wait for Tobi's response, already knowing how the younger man would react, merely turned to the doors in arrogant silence, and left before the reporters could start mobbing.

Why hadn't Hashirama testified against him?

"How'd it go?" That smooth, sinfully innocent voice that seized the ears with feathery caresses. Madara looked across the nearly empty Wal-Mart parking lot and made out the faint visual of a man leaning casually against a car.

It was dark, but there was no mistaking that voice. "Izuna," Madara addressed his brother.

"Who'd you think I was?" That smile which knew no shame. It stilled Madara visibly. "I can be anyone you want me to be." Madara could see the shine of his brother's teeth in the dim light.

He looked so charming…

Madara sneered at his brother's teasing, knowing what he was doing. "What did you take me for, your pimp?" Madara was not in the mood for this tonight.

"Just thought I'd let you know I'm grateful you got me out before that Johnny guy two cells over decided my ass was worth the risk of your retribution." Then Izuna paused, as if in thought. "He wasn't half bad looking actually, and he knew how to hold his own in conversation." A small shrug. "I think I actually liked him."

Madara glared. "Izuna."

"I take it if you're here, Hashi-san didn't testify." Izuna announced to his brother with a small smile. "Because you look a little riled up at the moment," he added pleasantly.

Madara's brow twitched at the memory. "He didn't show, and I can't find him at his house or on the streets."

Izuna pushed himself off the car as his brother approached him. "The biker gangs are out tonight." Izuna crossed his arms and leaned in closer. "And not the insured ones either." Izuna smirked secretively in the shadows that hid him from view. "You know how they feel about police."

Madara tensed and his eyes narrowed warningly. "If they have touched him, I will personally have them skinned and cremated."

"A bit lenient for having taken your property without permission, no dear brother?" Izuna asked knowingly.

Madara's head twitched dangerously, long hair rippling. "Alive."

"Touchy aren't we." Izuna commented placidly, not seeming the least bit worried.

We all die eventually anyway.

"Who is it and where's their location?" Madara commanded to know abruptly, ignoring any further provoking from his younger brother. He would kill the bastard who thought it wise to touch his man in uniform.

The whole of the underground community knew better then to lay hands on that one specific officer.

Izuna put a finger to his chin, sitting casually on the trunk of the car. "Lets see…" He paused for a long while, ignoring the rising ire of his elder brother. "Oh yeah. A familiar face in a familiar place," Izuna pleasantly announced, seemingly amused by his own rhyme.

Madara grabbed the front of Izuna's black hoody, pulling him towards him maliciously with one hand. "Don't mess with me, brat. Where is he?" Izuna did not miss the homicidal rage lacing every word, but…

Izuna tilted his head and smiled. "But…"

Thump, thump, thump.

Madara's glare immediately snapped down to the car's trunk.

Thump, thump, thump, thump. "Izuna, let me out!" Thump, thump, thump.

"So you're finally awake, Hashi," Izuna laughed good-naturedly, casting a glance down at the trunk. "I thought you had died for sure."

Bam. "Brat!"

"That's what he said," He replied to Hashirama's muffled words, indicating towards Madara though the other couldn't see it.

"What! Madara!"

"Izuna." Madara raised an eyebrow, putting his brother down. "The reason for his absence at the courtroom this afternoon."

Izuna produced a key from his pocket, dangling it between two fingers. "I though I was kinky. But I never got taken to court for it. I'm impressed."

Madara smirked fondly at the little nuisance, snatching the keys. "Bastard."

"It was the least I could do." Izuna declared lightly, shaking his head. "Anyway…"

Thump. "Get me out of here! MADARA!"

Madara looked to the trunk, then to Izuna. Izuna grinned. "Kinky." Then he added as an afterthought. "The club downtown is still going." Before Madara could speak, Izuna continued. "I dressed him for the occasion already while he was out." Pointing towards the trunk. "I put him in something I know you'd like."

Madara scoffed lightly. "It better be black."

Izuna smiled that smile. "Of course." He replied, before finishing. "I thought his uniform would be more to your liking though." Madara raised an eyebrow for the briefest of seconds, before Izuna pulled a bag of black attire from beside the car wheel. "You always did look best in uniform."

Madara took the clothes and smirked wickedly as he and Izuna jumped into the front seat of the car. Izuna put the police cap over Madara's head and propped his foot on the dash, swirling the gun on his finger.

Oh yes. They were the kinkiest bastards this city had to offer.

Author's Note

I just wanted to write something short and funny. LOL! Yeah for Madara/Hashirama!

Also, my friend has encouraged me to consider writing HARD YAOI on this fic...If you'd like for me to do so, please review and tell me so...