A/N: So I had this dream about a month or so ago that involved a set of handcuffs, a rather hot guy, and me feeling rather smug, and decided to turn it into a story. Not only is it like four times longer than I expected it to be, it's also very different than I expected it to be. I hope you all enjoy reading it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Harry Potter series.
Dedications: To Just Briana. You'll see why as you read. Seriously, if you don't catch why this is dedicated to you, there's something wrong with you :P
A Deeper Look
"So Rrrr-eee-mmmm-uuuuu-ssss," I call to my friend as I step into the sixth year dormitory, drawing out the syllables of his name in a way I know will make him cringle.
I take delight in the way that he does exactly that, shuddering slightly before gazing up at my from where he is laying stomach down on his bed, previously engrossed on some essay that is due later on this week.
"Where are Peter and James," Remus asks, glancing up at me before jotting a few more things down on his essay.
"James landed a detention for pranking Sni… Snape," I say, changing the name as I notice the glare Remus is throwing my way. "And Peter is down in the Kitchen. They'll both be gone for hours."
"You didn't get a detention with him," Remus asks."
I grin. "Nope. I was a really, really, really good boy. I didn't even throw one hex."
Remus snorts. "Sure."
"Well, no one can prove that I did," I admit. "Now, Rrrrrr-eeeee-mmmmm-uuuu-sssssss."
"What is it Padfoot," the tawny haired boy asks, and while he makes an attempt at looking annoyed, it doesn't work out so well. I can see the smile fighting to worm its way across his face, and I can hear the affection in his voice.
"I had this dream last night," I say, sitting down close to his lower back and bouncing up and down in my excitement to share it with him, causing him to bounce slightly.
Remus laughs softly, placing his parchment inside of his text book and closing it before he sits up and puts the rest of his supplies away in his bag and throws it all into his trunk.
I mentally cheer, barely refraining from doing so out loud, not wanting to appear like too much of a hyped out, idiotic t four year old. Moony's attention will be solely mine soon though! I'm so excited.
"I'm not so sure I want to hear about this," Remus says, scooting back to lean against his headboard and pulling me over to sit beside him.
"But it was such a good dream Remus!" I say, scooting over as close to the werewolf as I can. After all, I have to take every chance I can get to be this close to him. It's not as if I'll ever get anything more. "Such a good, good, fantastically, wonderfully good dream," I shout, resting my head against his shoulder and fluttering my eyelashes at him.
Remus laughs, running a fond hand through my hair. "Oh, was it really that good?"
I nod eagerly.
"What did it involve," Remus asked curiously, turning my face up so that my grey eyes clash dead on with his light brown ones.
I feel my stomach flutter as I see the fondness in his eyes and wish desperately for it to be something more.
"Sirius," Remus probes, and I realize that I have been quite for too long.
I begin hoping up and down in excitement once more. "That's the best part Remy," I say, calling him by a name only I have the privilege of calling him.
Remus rolls his eyes but says nothing and so I tell him.
"It involved a pair of handcuffs, a really hot guy that I sort of have a crush on, and me feeling really smug."
"Oh," Remus says quietly, jerking his head away at the same time he yanks his hand out of my hair, cutting off any contact with me. I watch, confused, as he scoots over to put a good six inches of space between us, making sure that we are touching in no way.
"Remy," I ask.
"So it was that kind of dream," Remus says, a teasing smile on his lips, but there's some other emotion in his eye, something that he's trying to hide from me. "Come one Sirius, didn't your mother ever tell you? Use a sex toy, not a boy."
I snort, forgetting my worry for a moment due to that disturbingly, repulsively, lewd comment. "Dear fucking Merlin Remus, what kind of mother would tell any child that?"
Remus shrugs, and there's still something strange about the way he's looking at me, as if he's wounded. I reach for his hand, and feel more than a little stung when he yanks his back as if he's been burned.
"Remus, what's wrong," I ask, whatever excitement I had felt over being so close to him and sharing my silly dream with him now gone in the face of his misery. What was wrong with my Moony?
"Nothing," Remus says quietly, but he doesn't look me in the eyes as he says it. "So what happened in your dream? Did you handcuff the guy to the bed and then proceed to ravish him?"
I shake my head, confused over the bitterness and contempt I hear in the werewolf's voice. I can no longer tease him about the dream as I had planned to. "No. It wasn't like that. Not really. Merlin, Mssr. Lupin, I am deeply wounded that you consider me to be such a perve."
Remus cracks a smile at this. "I don't just consider you to be one Mssr. Black. You are one. So if you didn't get all down and dirty and do the whole bondage thing with a set of handcuffs to that crush of yours in your dream, what did you do with those handcuffs that left you feeling so smug?"
I grin widely, scooting over and bumping my shoulder against the werewolf's. "I got him out of them."
"Excuse me," Remus asks, shifting so that our thighs are pressed flush together and when he turns we are so close, since I have been leaning in, that our noses are almost touching.
Remus' eyes widen in shock over the close contact. "Sirius…"
"Wait, wait, wait," I say, grin widening at the same time I fight down my growing blush. I really don't want to move away. Being this close to Remus is… electrifying. I quickly forget whatever else I was about to say. I'm so close that I can see the soft flecks of gold in his eyes, and the freckles that are scattered so cutely across his nose and cheek bone, and the way his lips and so full and pink and ready to be kissed….
My breath catches in my throat.
"Remus," I whisper, shifting closer.
Remus draws back, looking slightly angry, before his face goes blank, such a well put on mask that he rarely wears around me.
I scoot back, and blink, and Remus smiles slightly, as if nothing has happened. "So what do you mean, you got him out of them?"
I sigh, before putting a smile on my face. I'll play his game, if it makes him happy. "Well, you see, it all started with me rushing back up to the dorm to get something. I don't know where I was rushing from, or what I was coming to get. Those things aren't really important."
"Of course not," Remus says fondly, with just a hint of sarcasm that I (kindly) chose to ignore, while running a hand through my hair once more. I can only hope that means that everything is ok.
"So I rush into the dorm," I say, gesturing dramatically (enthusiastically, thank you) with my hands, "and I'm not really paying attention at first, but as I run over to my trunk to retrieve whatever it is that I was going to retrieve…."
"Whatever that wasn't at all important," Remus says, amusement clear in his voice.
"Yes!" I shout gleefully, bouncing up so that Remus' hand is forced out of my hair. He trails it down to my back instead, and I'm giddy with the fact that he hasn't stopped touching me.
"Anyways," I say, reaching up to play with Remus' light brown hair now, ignoring his surprise. "As I was rummaging innocently…"
"As if you can do anything innocently," Remus interrupts, but I hush him, telling him to let me continue on with my story.
"As I was innocently rummaging through my trunk, I hear the sound of loud, rather obnoxious laughter, and look up, and there is Prongs, and Wormtail, and they are holding my dear crush hostage Moony! Mssr Prongs and Mssr Wormtail, the savage brutes that they are, were simply standing there, in the middle of the room, having a grand old time laughing their arses off as my crush, who stood there as well, looking miserably ruffled and put out and on the verge of tears of both frustration and misery with a pair of handcuffs attached to his wrists, yanking at his hands in a futile effort to get the bloody things off of himself," I tell the werewolf with a dramatic flair, draping myself over his lap.
Remus gently nudges me off of him and scoots out of my reach once more.
I look at him. "Moony…"
"You haven't explained how it is that you came to feel very smug."
"Oh that," I say distractedly, "I simply took pity on him after watching him fail time and again at releasing himself from his bonds, so I walked up to the lad and pulled the little tab on the side of the hand cuffs that is easily accessible even while one is wearing them, especially out in front of their bodies as he was. I really had a hard time not laughing at his ignorance. And the guy just stood there and stared at me before saying he could have figured that out. As if. After all, I am rather brilliant." I say, but the words sound weak even to my ears.
"Right," Remus says distractively. "Is that all Padfoot? I have to get back to my essay." He won't look at me now.
"Remus," I say, grabbing a hold of his hand and pulling him towards me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he says, trying to get away.
I won't let him go though, instead tipping his head up so that he actually has to look at me, and I'm rather shocked to see tears in his eyes. "Moony…. "I whisper brokenly.
"I don't get it," he finally whispers after a rather long, painful silence, voice sad. "James was in your dream, which I understand. He's your best mate, practically your brother. And Peter was there too. But how come I didn't get to be in it? I mean… I know you don't have any control over what you dream of, but it… I'm your friend too, you know? And… you have a crush on this guy and suddenly it feels like I don't matter, and I… Padfoot… I don't want to lose my place in your life if you suddenly get a love life." Remus says miserable.
"Remus," I choke out through a tight, parched throat.
Remus shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I'm being stupid. You have every right to like some guy, and it's not as if I'm really important or anything. I mean, I'm just a scrawny, know-it-all werewolf. Why would you chose to keep me around, or whatever, when you could go on dreaming about this amazing guy you have a crush on, and I would never stand in the way if you had a shot with him. It's just…"
"It's you," I blurt out, hands shooting up to grasp the werewolf's scarred face between my hands.
"What," Remus asks, blinking tears out of his eyes as he looks up at me.
"It's you Remus. You're the amazing guy. You're the one that was wearing the handcuffs. You're the one I've had a crush on for ages. You're the one you're afraid of losing your own bloody place to. It's you Remus. It's always bloody been you and it always fucking will be you." I say, shaking the thin boy slightly.
"Oh," Remus says, blinking up at me. "Well… that's good then."
"Is that all you have to say?" I ask, looking down at the boy I had just confessed my feelings to.
"Well," he says, smiling slightly, "that, and that I so could have figured out how to get out of those handcuffs."
I snort out a laugh. "Wanker."
Remus smiles brightly. "I like you too Sirius. I have for ages. I just never thought you'd feel the same."
"I've always felt the same," I tell him, and I kiss him before he can say anything else.
Of course, that doesn't shut him up, since he pulls back about a minute late. "Do you think we can find a set of handcuffs and put them to better use than they were put to in your dream," he asks, smiling up at me mischievously.
I shiver slightly at the thought.
"Oh yeah," I say, and kiss my werewolf again, licking into his mouth with quick, messy strokes of my tongue that have us both moaning into each other's mouth's.
This is so much better than my dream.
A/N: So guys, how was that? I hope you all liked it. I have to update The Things That Can Happpen Next, possible tomorrow (today, since it is after 1 AM) but it depends on how I feel after my doctors appointment.
Go read my new one shots if you haven't! They need reviews.
And review this one. Thank you.