My first attempt at all-dialogue. Let me know if it's too confusing or whatever. It was collecting dust on my laptop, so I figured I'd finish it up and post it. :)

Meetings at the Ministry

'Minerva, I am leaving.'


'Yes. I shall be back eventually.'

'I see.'

'You…you have nothing to say?'

'If you are in fact leaving, Albus, then there is truly nothing I can say or do.'

'I see. And if I do not return?'

'Then I will say, honestly, that I had nothing to do with it. Good day, Headmaster.'

'Minerva, wait. You do know where I am going, do you not?'

'I do not. I assumed if you wanted me to know, you would tell me.'

'You did not wish to inquire?'

'I…have my suspicions.'

'Ah, so you do know where I am going!'

'I said I suspected. I do not know.'

'But you do know, and that is why you are unconcerned!'

'You are raving.'

'And you, my dear, are ravishing.'


'There is a difference between those two words, Albus.'

'Oh, I know.'


'Simply because they are different does not mean they are not both true.'

'I never said they weren't.'

'Minerva, do you know why I am leaving?'

'No, I don't.'

'Would you like to know?'

'Whether or not I would like to know is irrelevant, because both you and I both know that you are going to tell me. So you may as well just tell me now.'

'That's probably why I love you.'

'I'm sorry?'

'I said, 'That's probably why-.'

'I know what you said. I should like to know why you said it.'

'Ah, Minerva, when it comes to love, what do reasons really matter?'

'I am waiting.'

'For me to leave? I'm sorry, how terribly rude—of you. Good day, Minerva.'

'Dumbledore! I don't know what you and your staff are playing at, but as minister for magic, Cornelius Fudge, I have had enough!'


'Albus, must we go through with that every time?'

'I am afraid so, my dear. I will, however, reward you for your patience.'

'And just how do you plan on doing that?'


'Albus, what are you doing?'

'Debating whether or not you would approve of your reward being my permission to let your hair down.'


'Judging by your wordless shriek, I suppose you don't. Shall we return to Hogwarts?'

'You are incorrigible.'

'Why thank you.'

'It was an insult. I was referring to your ways to get Fudge to leave.'

'Oh. Well, it was rather entertaining this time.'

'I hate you.'

'I love you too, Minerva.'

'I knew there was a reason I love meetings at the ministry with you, Minerva.'

'If Fudge were to walk in right now and hear us discussing that the whole thing was a ruse to cut the meeting short—.'

'He'd have a heart attack, yes, yes; now, back to the matter at hand.'

'What matter at hand?'

'An excellent point. The lack of a matter is what now permits us to leave the ministry.'

'And return to Hogwarts over an hour early?'

'That is a valid point. We could go to the Three Broomsticks?'

'Your attempts to get me drunk have never worked before.'

'Everybody needs a goal in life, Minerva, otherwise there is no purpose.'

'And your goal is for me to let my hair down.'

'Frankly, yes. That and to never come to ministry meeting again. Or at least cut them short.'

'Is that why you bring me along?'


'To start a pointless conversation with me to drive Fudge insane, so he will storm out, so then you won't have to suffer through the meeting?'

'Not the only reason, Min. But one of them.'

'I changed my mind. Let's go back to Hogwarts.'

'You seem irritated, Min.'

'I am about to take a large quantity of points from Slytherin. When Snape comes complaining, I will send him to you.'

'Please don't, Minerva. You know how he can be.'

'Too bad.'

'Minerva, you are the most beautiful, incredible, brave person I have ever met.'

'I am still going to take points off, Albus. I'll just be more cheerful while doing it.'

'I did try.'

'So they were empty compliments?'

'My brain hurts, Minerva. Can we go now?'

'Yes, yes. Let's go.'

'At least we can say we survived another meeting at the ministry. All thanks to me, of course.'

'Albus, you won't be able to say anything if you keep talking.'

'So violent.'

'Would you stuff it?'

'Your employer wouldn't be very happy to hear this disrespect, Minerva.'


'You seem exasperated, Minerva.'

'Oh, really? I wonder why.'

'Your sarcasm wounds me.'

'How tragic. If you'll excuse me, Albus I am leaving.'


'Yes. I shall be back eventually.'

'I see.'

'You…you have nothing to say?'

'If you are in fact leaving, Minerva, then there is truly nothing I can say or do.'

'If you're done mocking me…'

'You started it.'

'Don't act like a five year old, Albus. Let's go home.'

'Of course, Minerva.'

'Oh, by the way, Minerva…'


'I have another ministry meeting tomorrow.'


The End

Well, that's it. Pointless, mindless banter between our two favourite professors (or mine, anyway :P) Review, please, I need to improve my all-dialogue. ;) Happy reading!