Hello again! The Day of Silence saga (haha, I called it a saga) has returned in the form of requested oneshots from the awesome people that reviewed my story. And shame on you, people that gave me a prompt but hadn't previously reviewed. I'm shaking my finger at you. Sneaky people, trying to fool me.
Anyway, just to address how this is going to work: I made a master list of everything that was requested in the order I received the reviews. I'll be writing them in order, so apologies if it takes a while for me to get to yours. I'll post the pennames of the people that prompted each particular chapter at the end. Obviously, some things were requested more than once, so sometimes there will be multiple names. I guess you could say that's my way of thanking you for your promt and dedicating the chapter to you. So keep an eye out for your penname!
And without any further ramblings, here are Kurt and Finn telling each other what happened, served with a side of brotherly bonding!
The first thing Kurt noticed when he woke up the next morning was Finn's empty bed.
That was enough to get him out of his own bed and running up the stairs. He didn't care that he was in his pajamas and his hair was mussed. He just wanted Finn to be okay. Not being in bed was definitely not okay.
He heard noises coming from the family room, so he turned to look there first. The television was on in the middle of a baseball game. The volume was down low, but Kurt could hear the commentator call for a replay. Kurt reached over the sofa to grab the remote from the side table, switching the television off.
He nearly jumped through the ceiling when a sleepy voice protested, "I was watching that."
Kurt walked around to the other side of the couch, realizing that Finn was sprawled across it. One arm was behind his head and there was a throw blanked bunched up over his legs.
"Sorry," Kurt handed over the remote, perching himself on the edge of an armchair. "I didn't see you."
This made Finn laugh. He laughed so hard that he had to sit upright, clutching his stomach, wheezing. Kurt stiffened in his seat. Not only was that not the response he expected, but this hysterical laughter was not Finn's typical laughter. It sounded too forced to be genuine.
"Why is that funny?" he asked anyway, noticing that Finn had tears in his eyes.
"It's just," Finn was choking on his words, "I'm Frankenteen!" There was more laughter. "And you didn't – you didn't see me!" The laughter subsided into a low chuckle and then Finn was silent. Kurt opened his mouth to ask a question, but a giggle erupted from Finn's mouth before he could form words.
Kurt counted to ten, then tried again.
"What time did you get in?"
Finn gave him a puzzled look.
"Last night. You weren't back when I went to bed. How late were you out?"
"Oh, right," comprehension dawned. "Yeah, Mom and I went out to eat and we ran into Rachel and her dads. We got to talking – well, Mom talked and the rest of us used notebooks – and we all went back to Rachel's for ice cream." He grinned, adding, "It was nice. Her dads are cool. You'd like them."
"That's nice," Kurt wondered if Finn had talked to Rachel about what he had been through yesterday. Even though both he and Rachel now saw Finn as nothing but a friend, Kurt couldn't help but feel like he'd been sucker punched. If Finn had talked to Rachel, then he wouldn't need Kurt's help. And Kurt would never admit it, but he needed Finn's help right now. He needed to talk to someone who understood, and Finn was that person.
"Why didn't you come down once you got home?" Kurt found himself asking. "I'm not that light of a sleeper, if that was the problem."
"No, I did," Finn crossed his legs, sitting Indian-style. "I went down as soon as we got home. You were already asleep, obviously. But then I couldn't get to sleep, so I came back up."
"Have you been up all night?"
"Yep," Finn laughed again. "I feel like I'm on a sugar rush!"
"Been there," Kurt remembered the feeling well. "You'll crash later today. You'll drop like a rock as soon as you don't have anything else to do."
"Oh," Finn's expression softened and his posture slumped. "So I will have to sleep eventually, then?"
"Yeah, you will," Kurt really didn't like how Finn seemed to be completely dreading going to sleep. That had happened to him after his first dumpster dive. He had kept feeling hands on him, kept smelling the trash, kept hearing the flies buzzing.
"But what if I drink, like, a gallon of coffee and take that Vitamin D stuff again?" Finn's face brightened.
"That might work for about two days," Kurt conceded, "but that's really dangerous and unhealthy. Probably illegal, too, seeing how that one guy got arrested for buying so much of the Vitamin D stuff."
"It's not fair!" Finn yelled suddenly, slamming a fist into the couch. "I don't want to go to sleep!"
Kurt got up, walking over to sit next to Finn and laid a hand on his arm. "Talk to me," he said quietly, hoping his voice didn't give away how badly he needed this conversation to happen. "Tell me what happened yesterday."
"Why?" Finn's voice was more like a snarl, and he shrugged Kurt's hand away. Kurt was suddenly reminded of the time Finn had blown up at him. He could see the same anger in Finn's expression. Reminding himself that this time the anger wasn't directed at him, Kurt sighed softly.
"Because you're talking to the only person at McKinley who's been put through it. I guarantee is; whatever they did to you, they've done to me."
"They wouldn't," Finn argued. "You're Kurt. You're all fashionable and proud and you know big words and stuff."
"I also weigh little more than 115 pounds, which makes me an easy target," Kurt pointed out. "The in-crowd doesn't like me, I go against the norm, and I don't buy into their way of doing things. I might as well wear a giant target on my back and a sign saying, 'Hello, I'm a terrorist and it's your civic duty to beat the shit out of me'."
Finn didn't say anything for a moment, just sat there looking at him. His mouth hung open slightly, the dull look normally in his eye replaced with shock.
"But you're… you!" he tried again.
"Exactly," Kurt nodded. "And that's why they hate me."
"But why would they do that to you?" Finn ran a hand through his hair. "Why would any of them ever do that to you? And how are you still you? Like, how do you walk all proud with your nose in the air if they've done that to you?"
"Because I don't let them win," Kurt said simply. He paused, wondering if he really should tell Finn about what had happened. He could tell now that Finn had never known that these things happened at McKinley. There was an innocence about him that made him too kind to so much as consider it. But Karofsky and his brother and whoever else had taken that innocence away from him, and now he had to accept that this was real.
"Finn, you're a really nice guy," Kurt decided to ease into the conversation, "and the guys on the football team know that. They know you'd never do something like this to anyone else, so they never told you about it. Remember when I told you at the beginning of the year about the rest of them nailing our lawn furniture to the roof?" There was a nod. "That's proof enough that they don't always tell everyone about everything. It makes sense that they wouldn't have told you."
"So you're saying I was too stupid to realize that the rest of my football team was pantsing people?"
"No, of course not," Kurt backtracked quickly. "I'm just saying that even when you think you know everything, there's always someone who's keeping a secret from you. I thought I was the only person at McKinley who had to put up with this, but turns out there was someone else too."
"Yeah, me," Finn said darkly, head drooping and brows furrowing.
"And someone else," Kurt explained. "Puck said that there was a third guy."
"Maybe we should find out who it is," Finn suggested. "We could start a club. The 'we think the Karofsky brothers are complete dicks' club." Finn snorted at his own joke. The snort turned into a chuckle, and then he was full-out laughing again. Kurt really didn't like this.
He waited for Finn to stop laughing, expecting to have to steer the conversation back to where he wanted it to go, but Finn surprised him. The laughter ended abruptly and Finn asked, a completely serious look on his face, "Did they take your pants off too?"
A tremor went through Kurt's body. The way Finn was staring at him was scaring him.
"Not this time," he said honestly. He crossed his legs, looking down at his crotch as if he was expecting to see a giant sign saying, "Hi, I'm Kurt's penis and I've been fondled by Dave Karofsky." He settled his own hands in his lap, as if that would somehow make the memory go away.
"But they did before?" Finn prompted, eyes positively on fire.
"Yeah, they did," Kurt told his lap. "Just once, but… once is enough."
They lapsed into silence. Finn started tossing the remote between his hands, probably so he would have a distraction. Finn didn't ask what else they did and Kurt wasn't about to just spring that on him with no warning.
But then: "When you say once is enough…" Finn looked over at him, a pleading look in his eyes, "do you mean that it'll never go away?"
Kurt wanted to say no. He wanted to tell Finn that he would forget it all by tomorrow and that he would never have to deal with it ever again. He wanted to say the magic words that made all the hurt go away, but as far as he knew, there were no magic words. And he would know, because he'd been looking for them for four years.
"It gets better," he said instead of explicitly answering. "The day after is the hardest. You keep looking over your shoulder, expecting to see his face right there." Kurt's hands went to the hem of the T-shirt he was wearing, fiddling with it. "It'll take a while before you can go into the locker room again. If you're like me, you'll probably walk on the other side of the hallway if you have to pass it." He paused, not wanting to explain the rest. But he knew he would. He had to.
"Sometimes if you pass someone on the street who looks at you the wrong way, you'll walk a little faster. You might get physically sick if you think about it for too long, but that'll pass." He paused again. "You'll probably lock yourself in the bathroom the next time you get changed. It's the paranoia, but that'll pass too. And sometimes you'll just get irrationally angry or sad or scared. But it's not really irrational, because you just really don't want it to happen again."
They lapsed into silence again. Kurt's throat started feeling dry, but he didn't go get a drink. He stayed put, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and wanting Finn to say something.
"Did they rape you?" Finn looked over at Kurt as he said it, eyes watery and face sickly pale.
"No," Kurt's voice cracked. "Not according to the literal definition, they didn't."
"What do you mean?" Kurt hated how Finn looked like he was about to vomit.
"Rape is technically forced sexual intercourse," Kurt wished he wasn't saying this, "but as far as I'm concerned, any unwanted contact that is in any way sexual feels close enough."
Finn's hand found his own, holding it tightly and squishing his fingers together.
"What'd they do?" he asked, voice even. It was deeper than usual and he was looking at his lap, but Kurt knew that Finn understood. He understood that they needed each other's support.
"Karofsky touched me." His voice sounded too loud. "He put his hand… down there and started," Kurt squirmed in his seat, squeezing his legs together, "rubbing it." There was a sharp intake of breath from Finn, and Kurt added quickly, "I had my pants on, but I could still feel everything. Right where I didn't want it." He swallowed, trying to drown the lump in his throat.
"What about the other time?" Finn asked, and Kurt knew that he wanted to get this part over with. One fell swoop of information he really didn't want to know about his almost-step-brother, and it was done.
"They got my pants off and slapped me on the ass." That time didn't feel as bad now. "They took pictures of me and said if I told anyone, they'd put the pictures on the internet." He sighed heavily. "I feel so vain now. My ass could have stopped all of this if I'd been brave enough."
"Don't beat yourself up about it," Finn tried to comfort him. "You know how those two are. They would have found a way to get to us anyway."
"Will you tell me what happened to you?" Kurt asked meekly, as if Finn would start shouting or laughing again.
"It feels like nothing," Finn looked at the blank television screen, not looking at Kurt. "After hearing what they did to you, it feels like nothing happened to me."
"But it is something," Kurt insisted. "You can't compare them, Finn. Just because they may have gone further with me doesn't make yours any less important."
"They took my pants off," Finn was speaking quickly, "and they said they were checking to see if me and Mr. Schue did anything because I wouldn't tell them. And then they just got quiet and nothing happened and then they were all gone."
Kurt had tears in his eyes now. Poor Finn, being so scared and humiliated for absolutely no reason. Bringing Mr. Schue into it was such a low blow, and Kurt felt his stomach turn over as he thought about it. Finn didn't have a father, and Mr. Schue was probably the first man to show genuine interest and concern for Finn since his father's death. And here those assholes were, twisting that relationship into something it wasn't.
"I'm sorry," Kurt's voice shook and his tears fell onto his lap. "I had no idea they were going to do that. I should have stopped Mr. Schue when he said he was going to get you all in on Day of Silence."
"No!" Finn protested, turning to look at Kurt again, the fire back in his eyes. "I mean, yeah, I got a shitty deal out of it, but we did it as a team. We wouldn't have done it if it wasn't worth something to us. Hell, I would have talked and told them none of it was true if keeping quiet meant nothing."
Kurt was taken aback by that sudden outburst. He wiped his eyes, squeezing Finn's hand and saying, "Thanks."
"You're my brother," Finn told him. "Brothers stick up for each other."
They shared a small smile, and Kurt asked, "Can I hug you?"
"I feel like that's a good idea," Finn was grinning now, so Kurt wrapped his arms around Finn's neck, pulling him closer. Finn hugged Kurt around the middle tightly, one thumb tracing a small circle on Kurt's back.
When they let each other go, Kurt caught sight of the little clock on the VCR. It was still early in the morning, way too early to be awake.
"Lie back down and try to sleep," he instructed, not protesting when Finn didn't wait for him to move off the couch and just collapsed on top of him, head resting in his lap.
"You better be here when I wake up," Finn ordered.
"Well, Finn Hudson, your giant Frankenteen head is making moving quite difficult at the moment," Kurt shot back.
"There, Kurt's back," Finn grinned up at him before closing his eyes.
It was a little weird, sitting with Finn's head in his lap. This was the sort of thing sickeningly adorable couples did together, something he had, admittedly, dreamed about doing with Finn back when he still had a crush on him. But now they were just two brothers who loved and cared for each other, and those feelings were a thing of the past. And when Kurt noticed that Finn's breathing had slowed, he looked down and noticed that he'd been absently running his fingers through Finn's hair.
They were like a disgustingly adorable cliché right now, and if anyone had been here to witness it, Kurt probably would have died of embarrassment.
He knew that both of them would still need time to deal with what had happened. Jut because Finn was here to hold his hand didn't make it all better, but it certainly helped. And when he saw how peaceful Finn looked, he liked to think that he had helped too.
Oh yeah, they were going to make the best step-brothers ever.
Requested by and dedicated to: sjr, Adatrix, ChrystalMart, Dutch92, Serpergirl, the darkness revealed, BananaBat16, seacat03, lizzyloula, goodythreeshoes, FlopsyOllie, and Nyx Nox Night.