Author's Note: Wrote this a while ago but was finally able to finish it thanks to youtube. xD You'll understand eventually.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, this would be in the show.
I tried over and over to tell myself it wouldn't end this way. That it wouldn't end with me on my knees looking up at those beautiful hazel eyes as he broke my heart. James wasn't in it for the long haul. I always knew that, always knew that his heart belonged to Carlos Garcia, but I couldn't stop myself from building up a small hope that I had finally found someone to call my own, even if he wasn't the one I longed for. I thought he would be the one to settle for me, after I proved I had enough skills in the bedroom to keep his interest for longer than a week.
We'd been together for four months. It started out casual, both of us in need after seeing the objects of our affection in the pool with Jo and Camille. James had started it all, using his height and strength to dominate me as he unhinged every tense muscle I had, turning me into a puddle. After that day we never stopped. Whenever one of us had the desire we would meet up, anywhere. In the broom closet I hid in with Kendall while our apartment was being remodeled. In the shower after James had seen Carlos come out in only a towel. In Gustavo's office after we had seen Carlos and Kendall dressed up like bad boys. Anywhere we could have privacy.
We were like two rabbits that had just realized the other was there.
"Logan," James whispered as his hand ran through my hair. "This has been amazing, really it has, and you're one of my best friends, but I think I may have a shot with Carlos."
I smiled softly, hiding the rejection I was feeling. I stood to my full height, watching as he tucked himself back into his jeans. "I hope you and Carlos hit it off," I whispered, meaning every word. It may hurt to be tossed aside like James's used condom, but I wanted them to be happy together.
James grinned. "Thanks man! I know your chance with Kendall will come. I mean, my chance came for me and you deserve it way more."
I chuckled and shook my head. "I just hope you can handle him."
He laughed and pulled me into a tight hug. "I don't know how I could've gotten through this without you Logan. I think I would've gone crazy."
I smiled and shoved him off playfully. "You would've imploded." I moved past him, poking my head out of his bedroom door.
"We have harmonies at 3 so whatever you decide to do, just don't be late. You know how pissed Gustavo gets whenever-," he paused.
I froze in the doorway, the mental image of Kendall on top of Jo in my mind. Gustavo had caught them making out and he was even angrier to find out that the reason Kendall had been late so many times was because of that. He never let anyone forget the incident. "I know," I whispered. "I should be the one reminding you though," I smirked and left his room, closing the door behind me.
Carlos was sprawled out on the couch, his shirt riding up slightly as his hand absently scratched at his stomach. It was the reason James had pulled me into his bedroom at 9 this morning. I smiled at Carlos and moved to him, grabbing a pillow off the couch and slowly creeping up, holding the pillow over my head.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you Logie," Kendall called from across the room, chuckling when I jumped a foot in the air. "You know he gets violent when he's woken up like that."
I blushed and turned to face him. "When did you wake up," I whispered, trying to ignore the way my stomach tightened at the familiar nickname.
"A few minutes ago," he smiled turning to grab the leftover pizza slice from the microwave. "I have a date with Jo this morning." His smile broadened into a full blown grin at that news.
My stomach dropped and I moved to the kitchen, standing beside him as I looked through the fridge. "That's great, just don't be late again. I really don't need to hear Gustavo tell that story again," I whispered, chuckling to hide any hurt that may be in my voice. My eyes landed on last night's dessert, a chocolate cake with strawberries, and I grabbed for it like a lifeline.
"I'll do my best," Kendall grinned then furrowed his brows when he saw my food selection. "Really Logan? It's like ten in the morning…not exactly the time for sweets."
I shrugged, putting the cake on the counter and cutting myself a big helping. "Pancakes, waffles, French toast…there's lots of sweet breakfast foods. I'm just too lazy to attempt cooking right now." I put the remaining cake in the fridge and moved to grab a spoon, surreptitiously ogling the way his pajama pants hugged him in all the right places.
"Yeah, but chocolate cake is not the same as pancakes," Kendall argued teasingly. "You're a growing boy and you need your protein."
I chuckled and rolled my eyes, moving to my plate and taking a big bite of it to end this discussion.
He shook his head and smiled easily as he ate his pizza across from me.
That was when it hit me. James wasn't going to keep comforting me whenever my libido got out of control, he wasn't going to hold me as I cried from whatever I had seen Jo and Kendall doing in the hallway, he wasn't going to whisper things to me to lift my spirits, he wasn't going to pretend to love me anymore. I shivered and slowly brought another spoonful to my mouth. My eyes were tingling, I could feel it, but running off to my room was out of the question. Kendall would get suspicious.
"Are you ok?"
My eyes snapped up to meet worried green. I smiled and nodded. "Yeah," I swallowed, my voice rough from the tears I held back. "Yeah this cake is just so good." I smiled and took another bite enjoying the way the rich flavor gave me something to focus on.
Kendall narrowed his eyes, trying to see through my lie. I moved my gaze back to the cake, smiling softly at it. I knew how to take the focus off me. A small bliss filled smile was one of the best ways to get Kendall to drop it. Another way was to try and make him uncomfortable. I picked up another spoonful and moaned as the taste hit my tongue, closing my eyes happily. Licking the spoon as I pulled it out a fluttered my eyelids.
Kendall's laugh was rough and if I didn't know better I'd have guessed he was turned on. "You're such a sugar whore."
I smiled and watched him grab a coke from the fridge. I continued eating as he moved to the couch, sitting on Carlos's chest.
"What the hell!" Carlos screamed as he glared up at Kendall.
"Get off him Kendall," James growled, finally coming out of his room. "Or I'll tell Jo about what you were doing last night in the shower."
Kendall's eyes widened and he quickly jumped off the shorter boy. "That's playing dirty," he glared.
Carlos grinned and hopped up. "Thanks! I thought I was going to die! He's heavy!"
James grinned and nodded, "nothing like being under me."
I blushed and kept my gaze on my cake, praying no one noticed. Carlos laughed as Kendall shook his head in annoyance.
"Let's go to the pool," he grinned, grabbing his helmet and shoving it on his head. "I bet I can beat you down there."
James's grin widened. "Oh you're on!" They both took off into different directions to change.
"Well," Kendall grinned after a moment of silence where we both listened to the various crashes and bangs as the other two changed. "I'm going to be late for my date. I'll see you at rehearsals."
I waved absently as I moved to wash the dishes the others had left. Ms. Knight and Katie were back in Minnesota for some family thing. That meant I was basically in charge, even though she had said she left Kendall in charge the look she gave me meant his title was only allowed if I was willing to provide backup. She didn't even have to ask anymore, she already knew I was willing to do anything if it meant Kendall would be happy.
"Are you sure you're ok," Kendall asked softly, once again making me jump.
"Yeah," I smiled, turning to look at him. "You're going to be late."
He watched me a moment longer before nodding and disappearing out the door.