OK, Merlin, make a wish and blow out the candles. And please try to keep your wish to yourself this year. You've told me every single one of them every single year since we were 12, and every year until we were 15, I wished you'd actually grasp the whole "the wish won't come true if you say it out loud" phenomenon. No wonder you have such rotten luck with wishes."
"Well, I can't help it! I had such a good wish on my 12th birthday! And every year since then, I've just gotten so excited about the awesome wishes I keep thinking of that I just have to tell you. Besides, this year is different. It won't even matter if I tell you or not."
"And why is that, Merlin? Have you finally resigned yourself to the fact that your complete ineptitude at wishing has doomed you to never having them fulfilled? Because I did that ages ago."
"No, you prat. If you must know, this year I don't actually have a wish."
"Well why not? Finally giving up altogether?"
"What is it? Don't tell me you're about to say something terribly girlish, Mer-lin."
"Well out with it. It can't be any worse than your 22nd birthday last year when you actually wished for world peace."
"Well...it's just that this is the first birthday that we've actually been, well, together. Like, together together. So I don't really need to wish for anything else. This was my real wish last year. I just said world peace because I really wanted this one to come true, so I didn't wanna tell you..."
"Arthur? Don't start making fun of me now!"
"Girlish wishes aside and ineptitude considered, this is why I love you. Happy birthday, Merlin."