Riku felt like he was about to burst. He felt horrible. Then again, he always did. His face got tired of smiling. His throat got tired of laughing. He was tired of putting up a face. Pretending everything was alright, when it was far from that. He just wished that he could go home and rest. He hoped that he wouldn't have to meet any teachers on the way out, talking about his grades or about classes. He hoped that no students would talk to him about the game, or who got mugged, or who screwed who. Riku could care less. And yet, there was someone to talk to him. The little brunette.
Sora looked around for a specific silver locked boy. He was the only one in the whole school with that hair, and it should be easy to find him. Sora knew that was a complete lie after he finally found Riku an hour later. Sora was sweating, as if he was about to faint. "Ri-Riku…" Sora said between panting.
He was finally going to say it. This was the day he would, and he made courage to do it.
"What is it?" Riku asked with a polite smile.
iJust great. Fuck off little boy I'm not in the mood to play games./i Riku said in his mind. He was annoyed with the fact that he had to smile. He was annoyed with this boy. Riku wished he could just end it here before the brunette wasted more of his time. Sora looked up at Riku. The older boy flinched. Sora's deep blue eyes looked into him. It was as if the boy knew everything about him with just one glance. It was strange. Riku didn't like it.
"Riku I have something to tell you…" Sora said, his face getting red.
"Well that's why you're here isn't it?" Riku laughed.
iWhy's this kid getting red? What is he doing, confession?/i Riku said in his mind. He knew it wasn't that though, no one would love him. Not his parents. Not his friends. Not anyone. Or that's what he thought.
"I-I love you!" Sora blurted out, his face redder than ever.
Riku felt as if his world shattered.
iWhat did this boy just say? Love? Yeah right he probably doesn't even know what the word means./i Riku said to himself.
"Look, I know you think that love is wonderful and you've heard it a lot but you can't just say it to anyone. And I'm a boy. Don't you like girls?" Riku looked at the boy skeptically.
"N-no! I'm really in love with you Riku! I'm willing to give my all for you, really!" Sora stammered.
He was still panting, and he felt lightheaded. Riku wished he could roll his eyes at the boy. He wanted to end it.
"Look Sora, really, I don't think you know how serious that is. If you say you love someone, there's a lot of emotion behind it. You can't throw around that word like it's a toy. Now if you excuse me, I'll be leaving." Riku said.
He began to walk away, but Sora grabbed his wrist and made the teen face him. Riku winced, but managed to hide it.
"What?" Riku glared at Sora. The brunette was taken aback.
"I-I'm really in love with you! I mean it!" Sora insisted, his face turning red not from the words, but from panting.
He felt as if he would drop any second.
Riku turned around and pinned the small boy against the wall. Sora flinched. "Look, kid." he growled.
"You probably think you know everything huh? You think you can say all of this stuff and think that I will magically fall in love with you like some sort of fairy tale? Well, you can think again. My parents didn't even love me. They left me outside of an orphanage since I was a burden. My teachers only like me because of my grades. My so called "friends" won't care. If I'm different, they don't like me. No one loves me. It's always been like that. So a little boy comes up to me and thinks he can save me? He thinks he can love me and make me feel special? Fat chance. Get out of my sight, kid. You don't want to be in my life!" Riku yelled.
He was sick of it. He set the boy down and began to walk away, but he felt a tug on his shirt. He turned around to see the boy crying.
Sora was crying. He didn't care if it would make his breath shorter. He didn't care. He wanted to convince Riku he was in love with him. By any means possible. Riku looked at the boy. "Didn't you hear me?" Riku sneered.
He slapped the boy's hand away and walked down the hall. He heard a loud thud and quickly whipped around. The brunette was on the ground. iOh shit./i Riku said in his mind as he ran to the small boy. "Hey kid wake up. C'mon wake up." Riku said as he gently slapped the boy's cheek.
The boy didn't even stir. He sighed. He had no choice. Riku picked up Sora and carried him to the nurse's office.
Sora was laying on the white bed in the infirmary. Riku say beside him, since he had to stay here and wait until the boy woke. Sora's eyes fluttered open.
Sora jumped up and looked around. He saw white walls, blue bookcases, and medical equipment. iI'm in the nurse's office…./i Sora's eyes widened to see Riku sitting in a chair next to him. "Yo." Riku said.
"Wh-why am I here?" Sora asked, also getting up.
"You collapsed. I took you here and the nurse told me to wait until you wake up." Riku said, not looking at Sora and slinging his book bag over his shoulder.
"S-so do you believe me?" Sora asked.
Riku turned around. "About what?" he asked.
"Me loving you…" Sora said, blushing a light shade of rose.
"No. I told you already. I even yelled at you. What does it take to make you understand kid?" Riku said, the annoyance in his voice.
"Riku…..What happened?" Sora asked.
The teen stopped in his tracks, but still didn't turn around.
"What happened about what?" Riku asked.
"What happened to you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why are you like this? We used to be such close friends. Now you're calling me 'kid' and treating me like a stranger. What's happened to you?"
"It doesn't concern you Sora."
"Yes it does!"
"Why would it?"
"Because I love you!"
Riku pinned the boy down on the bed. He lifted up Sora's arms and held them with one hand. "I'm getting really pissed off with you and your love shit. Now what's it going to take for you to realize that I don't love you?" Riku screamed at Sora.
The older boy got up and left, leaving Sora with tears streaming down his cheeks.
Riku got home and sighed. He finally was here. He was finally at peace. He felt disgusted with himself. He hurt Sora. Why? Why did he have to hurt Sora? Sora was an angel, one of the few that was not tainted by life. So why? He knew why. He hated that purity. That light. It disgusted him. He disgusted himself. Riku couldn't take this much longer. He knew of all of the cuts on his wrists, and that made him feel worse. He was addicted and he couldn't quit. He wouldn't quit. He would be stuck with the habit until he hits a vein and dies. Riku ran to his room and opened the drawers of his desk. He pulled out his razor and let the cold metal slice his warm flesh.
Sora was depressed beyond words. He felt as if his heart had been shattered into a million pieces, like a stain glass window with a rock crashing on it. He was just an empty shell walking down the street. His heart was torn. Sora wished he didn't confess to Riku. He wished that he wasn't in love with him.