Disclaimer: Vocaloid = Not Mine
Also, if you see any grammatical errors (I know for a fact that I tend to abuse commas), point them out to me in your review so I can fix them.
Please, read the oh-so-boring author notes at the end too, or at least the second, really chunky paragraph.
Re uploaded numerous times with improvements...
He was playing his violin under the grove of cherry blossom trees when I first saw him. He looked so much like me, at first I could have been staring at my own reflection. We had the same flaxen locks, and almost the same shade of blue eyes.
I was simply amazed at how his every movement, every flick of his wrist, every stroke he made with his bow would make the music he played even more enchanting than it already was. The sound of the music seemed to fill my monochrome life with color. As I listened to him play, I forgot about all my worries – of my engagement, of growing up - and wanted this happiness to continue for eternally.
Needless to say, I fell in love at first sight.
He did not seem to be aware of my presence. Perhaps it was because he was too busy concentrating on playing his music, or maybe he just never noticed me in the first place. That was okay with me. I didn't like to be center of attention anyways.
Suddenly, there was a horrible screech. A cacophony that clearly did not belong in the melody. I cringed, and so did he. The violinist sighed loudly and he removed the instrument from his shoulder. He sits down next to his violin case, tuning the strings. Just as I was about to wonder if I should leave and return home, the musician raises his head to wipe the sweat off his forehead. His eyes catches mine. He seemed to be surprised at first, but eventually, his surprise turns into a smile and he waves at me.
After a much heated mental debate that lasted for less than two seconds, I walked over to him.
"Good Evening." He said politely. There was a tiny crank as he adjusted the tuning knobs. He was also repeatedly plucking the strings for every adjustment. "I did not think anyone was listening. I'm terribly sorry I did not see you before."
"No, no" I said quickly, at a lost for words. "I...er...well, it was nice...I thought that was the most beautiful piece of music I have ever heard in my life, and I've heard many different types of music."
"Really?" He was smiling. I nodded. His blue eyes, and attention flickered back down to the fine tuners on the violin. When he finished tweaking them, he raised the instrument again. He raised his bow to play a long note on each string. He paused briefly and played a quick tune that was different from what he was playing before. Finally, he stands back up. I notice that he is hardly any taller than me. A couple inches or so. "Silly me, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Len." He quickly adjusts his hands so he was holding on to both the violin's neck and the bow in his left. His right hand was held out to me. I smile and takes it in my own.
"I'm Rin. Ka – just call me Rin, please."
"Well then, Miss Rin, would like to hear the rest of Mozart's Adagio in E Major for Violin Solo?"
I smiled, a genuine smile like the one that was on my face for the duration of the party I left a good quarter of an hour ago.
"I would love to, Len"
In merely a moment, the story of our love began
"...And when I was six, my mother started to teach me how to play the violin. My father wanted to me to join the military like he did in his youth..."
The two of us were standing under the cherry blossom tree that has become our meeting place. I have been sneaking out every day for a couple hours at a time. There was no way my parents could have noticed. Not yet, at least. We would just sit here and talk most of the time, but our little meetings would always begin and end with Len playing a short piece for me on his violin. When I was with him, it was like a dream. A very pleasant dream. The kind that you never want to end. When I left and returned home, I was rudely awoken. To reality. Thirteen days until the wedding. My wedding.
We were about to say our good-byes for today, and he was doing a tune-up before he played another piece, talking as he did so.
"...Of course, my father wasn't very happy when I said I wanted to be a musician like my mother, but my mother was as stubborn as a mule and as was I. So, eventually, my father accepted my decision..."
I learned a lot about him. His parents died in the earthquake ten years ago. He was only eight at the time. He had been adopted by a family friend, and has been living with them since.
"...and so here I am." Len finished, "so, enough about me. What about you?"
I haven't told him who I really am yet. He seemed content with not knowing my full name. It's not like I hated my name or anything, but for once it's nice not being treated as an aristocrat. Still, I knew Len was no idiot. My choice of clothing and the way I acted must have given my status away. If he knew, he never said anything and treated me like a regular person nonetheless.
"Oh, um, well...I am not very close to my parents. My father works all the time and my mother and I don't see things eye-to-eye." That was the truth at least. "I'm closer to one of...the maids. She practically raised me from birth, like a second mother."
Len pursed his lips and his forehead creased as if he didn't know what to say to that. However, with one more twang, he smiled a satisfied smile. "Finally, I'm back in tune. I think you will like this piece. It has a slenderly more upbeat tempo than the other songs I have been playing..."
Happiness was painted in my heart, when I thought it all had crumbled.
Well, I thought I could make it to my room before being spotted. The person who had called out to me was Neru. She was one of the few servants who was around my age. Neru was only about a year, give or take a month or two, then me. She had a broom in hand and was looking at me suspiciously.
"Hello, Neru" I said politely. Just because she was a servant and I was a noble didn't mean I had to be rude to her, like how my parents were to some of the clumsier, bolder ones. Inwardly, I was hoping that she would not ask me where I went.
"Excuse me for being so blunt, but, where were you all day?" Ugh! "I went to your room earlier with your wedding kimono earlier, but you weren't there."
Hearing the words 'wedding kimono' shook me awake from my reveries of Len. Why should I be so surprised? The wedding was only thirteen days off anyways...
I had briefly forgotten about Neru. I blinked a few times. She was standing in next to me, waving a hand in front of my face. "Oh, uh...what?"
"I said," Neru withdrew her hand and placed it on her hip, "where were you? I went into your room earlier, but you weren't there. Nor were you anywhere in this house."
"I simply fancied a walk, that's all." Neru cocked her head to one side with a smirk on her face that seemed to say "Liar," thankfully though, she did not ask any more questions. Wishing me well, she returned to sweeping the floors. I swallowed and resumed my way to my room, now glad that I ran into Neru.
Standing outside the door, I sigh and pushes it aside. The wedding kimono was folded on my table. It was white with embroidered yellow cherry blossoms. I gently caress the silk as my eyes filled with tears. I liked Gakupo very much, but not romantically. The love I have for him is the love I would feel for an older brother. There was somebody else I loved romantically, even if he didn't return them.
Len. I was in love with Len. I loved listening to his violin playing, his smiles...
Would I be forgiven to give up everything I knew to love him for the rest of my life? I needed to grow up eventually. No aristocrat ever married for love. It was all politics. The tears spilled down my cheeks and my hand made a fist around the white fabric.
"...Rin?" I quickly wiped my tears away and forced myself to smile. It was Luka, I did not notice her knocking. She had a bundle of clothes in her hands. She was one person who would always tell whether I was truly happy or not. Luka quietly closes the door behind her before kneeling down next to me. She wraps her arms around my shoulders in a hug. I was grateful that she comforted me without asking for an explication. My mother certainly would have. I clung onto her and sobbed into her lap. I cried until I fell asleep.
But I can't always be like a child. I have to be mature...but I am afraid I might lose my awkward grace.
What was I doing? I was standing alone under the cherry blossom tree, waiting for Len. I either came earlier than usual or Len was later than usual. I nervously shifted my weight from my right leg to my left. Nine days left before I married Gakupo. And what was I doing here? Dreaming of a hopeless love story.
"Rin!" I immediately smiled when I heard him call my name. I see him coming towards me, but he didn't have his violin case with him. I was disappointed that I wouldn't get to hear him play today. "Heh, I had to take my violin to the music shop in town for repairs. You know how I always had to tune that A string before I played? Well, that will be fixed very soon." He scratches his head, grinning the whole while. "So, sorry I forgot to tell you that yesterday, and for troubling you to come all this way."
"No, no, don't worry about it," I assured him quickly, "it's not like I come here everyday only for -" I clamp my hands over my mouth and blushed. I said a little too much didn't I? Len, however, heard enough to guess what I was thinking.
"So...you like spending time with me? An orphan violin player?" I nodded. We stood there in silence for a while longer. Suddenly, he burst out laughing.
"W-what's so funny?" I demanded, feeling even more embarrassed.
"Nothing." Len replied when he finished gasping for breath, still smiling, "I thought you only came for the quote 'most wonderful piece of music you've ever heard in your life' unquote. You, an aristocrat, actually like spending time with me."
"What about you?" I asked uneasily. The way he said 'you, an aristocrat' made me a tad edgy. Len smiles my favorite smile.
"The feeling the mutual, Rin, the feeling is mutual..." The tension in my chest loosened at the gentle, no longer joking tone of this voice. He licked his lips anxiously. Len reaches out and takes one of my hands in both of his, making my heart beat faster. "Rin?" I forced myself to look into his eyes.
"Yes, Len?" I whispered softly.
"There is something I have wanted to tell you for a while," he began. He looked as nervous as I felt. "I have only known you for a week, but it feels like I've known you for longer than that..." I wanted to say that I felt the same, but I stayed quiet, letting him continue.
"I know this might sound bizarre, but Rin, you changed me. I have never said anything more to anyone since the earthquake...and you...you reminded me that the world is still hopeful." Len paused to take a deep breath and continued, "I know I have absolutely nothing – wealth, power, or even a family – but...Rin, I love you."
I love you.
He loves me.
Len loves me.
I did not know what to think. One part of me, the part that was controlled by my heart, was elated at the fact that, Len was returning what I though were unrequited feelings. I wanted to tell him that I felt the same way, but the other part of me would not let me. The other half, the logical one, the one that was directed by my head, knew his confession only made things more difficult for me.
I looked at Len again, he was anxious. Perhaps it was my silence? Finally, as much as it killed me, I decided to tell him the truth. The whole truth. I took a deep breath and chose my words carefully. "Len," my voice seemed to be trembling, "I have never told you my full name have I?" I forced myself to sound steadier. "Kagamine. My full name is Kagamine Rin." Only daughter of one of the most respected and powerful families. Len seemed to be surprised at first, his eyes widening slightly, but he recovered quickly from his shock. "And I am engaged to the heir of the Kamui House. The wedding is in eleven days." Seeing the pained look on his face was more than I can bear. I look down where he still held my hand. I place my free hand on his and squeezed. "I know this is a selfish request but for now, just for now can I just love you and only you?"
If we are fated to hurt each other in this fabricated world full of lies,
I will quietly let go of your hand, and my earnest, but unforgivable feelings for you.
"Perhaps we can get some lilies to complement the bluebells?"
I was listening to my mother making plans for the ceremony.
I was also mentally screaming in anguish. Five days. That was all I had.
Can't I be allowed to throw everything away and just live for your sake?
"We can't." He said curtly after lowering his violin, the songs he had been playing for me all seemed to be so bittersweet and sorrowful, even if they were not supposed to be. I had muttered something about running off. I did not think he would hear. "You will disgrace your family. I would have disappointed my parents, thanking the Hatsune family's hospitality by eloping."
I knew he was right.
Time was my enemy. Four days left.
I am not allowed to throw everything away and live just for your sake.
I took a deep breath. Three days until the wedding. I had to end this affair. Len must know it too. I had been counting down the hours until I had to marry Gakupo, and I am sure Len had been as well. Today I had to do it. I will, reluctantly, bottle up any feelings for Len, and let go of this fantasy. I had a gift for him in my hands – a set of the finest violin strings Luka and I could find – it was the very least I could do for him in repayment for always playing for me.
I notice that the cherry blossoms were withering.
Len was sitting cross legged under our tree, leaning his head back against his trunk. His eyes were closed and partially covered by his blonde hair. His expression was melancholic. His violin was sitting in his lap. The A string was broken.
He opened an eye as he heard me approach, and when I took my usual seat next to him, he lifted his head and smiled wearily. "Did you break that string by accident?" He nods.
"The violin repairman made the pegs a little too tight." I smile and handed him the red paper envelope that contained my present. His eyes widened as he gently took them out and examines them carefully. "Wow, Rin, these strings...how much did it cost you?"
"You don't need to know." My voice cracked slightly. Len frowned and he places the strings and his violin in the satin-lined case that was sitting open next to him. He pulls me into a hug, stroking my hair as he did so. Len knew why I was on the verge of tears. I heard him whisper "it'll be okay," but I could hear his voice was wavering. We stayed in this embrace for a little longer. I pulled back, looking him straight in the eye. We seemed to reach some wordless understanding, but I decided to do it verbally anyways.
"Len, my wedding is in three days. We have to end this."
"I know. To tell the truth, I had the intention of doing this today as well."
Silence, save for the occasional chirping of birds or a blow of the wind, followed his words.
"Can you play for me, one last time?" I asked when I finally worked up the courage. The prospect of playing for me again seemed to cheer him up a little. He picked up his violin again and set to work on replacing the broken A string with the one I gave him. While tuning, he was very careful so he would not break it again. Finally when he was done, he asked me if there was anything specific I want to hear. I noticed the broken string sitting on the grass next to me. I picked it up and played with it a little, wondering.
"Mozart's Adagio in E Major."
The same song he had been playing when we met, sixteen days ago.
Dreamy cherry blossoms, please don't die...our empty love story lasted for only sixteen nights.
I will definitely have a different dream tomorrow...a dream of a colorless world without you.
Tomorrow, I will definitely be here again, playing the violin in this endless dream world.
It was here. My wedding day. The last day where I would get to be Kagamine Rin.
"Rin! You simply won't believe how proud I am!" My mother gushed as Luka and Neru helped me put on my kimono. I imposed myself to smile over and over again for her sake, and for the sake of everyone else.
"There isn't going to be a violinist playing at the reception later is there?"
"Don't be silly honey. Of course there would not be a violinist playing in your wedding."
My mother was right...why would there be?
I closed my eyes and forced myself to think about anything other than him. His last words to me were still echoing in my mind.
"I wish you nil but happiness in your marriage."
I want to think that I can live with you forever, but this love story won't come true
I cursed as my cosmetics spilled all over the floor. Several of the containers had broken. Face powder mixed with the liquid mascara and skin cream. I decided to just use the make up that can still be used. Gakupo was expecting me in a few minutes. I had already wasted enough time.
I bent down to pick up a stick of lipstick, the ring on my finger flashed before my eyes. It has already been two years. Two years of being Gakupo's wife. Two years since I last heard violin music. Gakupo simply assumed I did not like strings music, and did not pressure me into listening, luckily for me.
Something caught my attention. A long metal wire amongst all the eye liner pencils. Frowning, I pick it up.
Covered in various colored liquids was a broken violin string. I used my thumb and forefinger to wipe the makeup off. It was still slightly coiled. The color on the bronze tailpiece was fading, so it was more of a dull gray than a shiny amber. The two halves of the string was still being held together by the thinner steel core. It was the same violin string he snapped that day...
I thought somebody must have thrown it away.
The string was broken. It would never be used again. It will never produce another sound.
I gazed outside the single window in my room. The cherry blossom trees were blooming again. My fingers stroked the damaged string.
Please let me dream of an endless dream.
Dreamy Cherry Blossom is one of my favorite Len/Rin songs. I love violin music. I have played the violin in my elementary and middle school orchestra (I wasn't any good, though). My A and D Strings (but mostly A) were always giving me grief, being out of tune every time I pick up my violin for practice. Yeah, I had put peg dope on the loose pegs, but the dope did it's job WAY too well since I've had problems turning them afterward. I've broke the strings more times than I could count from turning the knobs too hard.
That pointless rambling aside, I have a couple notes that are actually related to the story. First, I know Len and Rin were supposed to have fallen in love at first sight (which they did) but I let some time pass before they confessed and whatnot. Second, in the PV it shows Rin slumped over a table with her lipstick, looking like she's dead, right? Though I think she committed suicide by ingesting something toxic that is found in cosmetics, but I didn't want to end it off like that. It sounded like an alternate, sadder ending to Titanic (I'm not going to elaborate on that). Third, I know I made it vague about which time period this took place in. I did that purposefully. I did look up the dates of some major earthquakes in Japan, and in my mind, I would say this story took place after the Meiji Tokyo Earthquake in 1894 or the 1896 Meiji-Sanriku Earthquake. I think PV implied it was set in the nineteenth or twentieth century Japan, but I could be wrong. Fourthly, speaking of Japan, I know about honorifics and all that but, to be perfectly honest, I find it strange having to type "Rin-chan" or "Len-kun" in a fanfiction that is written in English, even if it is a Japanese setting. I kept the Family Name-Given Name format, though, because it wasn't as awkward. Fifthly, there was not a significant reason why I chose Mozart's Adagio in E Major as the song that, more or less, started Len and Rin's relationship. My conductor talked about him (and Beethoven) a lot when I was in band, but what serious conductor wouldn't?
Anyways, this story contains a couple firsts for me. It is the first time I wrote in first-person point of view as well the first time I tried to write a story with this kind of tone. I actually did kind-of enjoy writing in first-person.
Critiques are more than welcome. Don't go easy on me just because it's my first fanfic.