Survival of the Fastest

Warnings: Takes place during the summer before Harry's 6th year. Sirius is still alive because I said so. NOT SLASH. I promise. More like Daddy and Kid, but NOT SLASH.

Summary: Harry finds himself locked in a room with a scheming Sirius Black. What happens when Sirius finds out about a secret that Harry's kept silent for a long time?


"HA! I told you I'd win, mate." Ron Weasley grinned across the chess board at his best friend, who scowled sulkily at the black-and-white checkered board. "No one beats me. You should know this by now."

"Yeah, yeah." Harry Potter grumbled as he watched Ron's queen drag the remains of his kind off the board. "When does 'Mione get here, again?"

"Next week." Ron replied, grinning cheekily. "Why? Am I getting to be too much for you to handle alone?"

"More like too annoying." Harry shot back playfully. He stuck his tongue out at the redhead.

Ron was about to retort when his mother's shout broke through the silence of Grimmlund Place, restarting the shrieks of Mrs. Black.





"I'M COMING!" Ron shouted over the two screaming witches. He grimaced. "What do you think I'm in for this time?"

Harry shrugged, holding back laughs at his best friend's expense. "I dunno, but you'd better get down there before either of them make my ears bleed."

"I'm going, I'm going." Ron grumbled, stamping rather loudly out of the study. Harry chuckled as the boy's shouts soon joined his mothers'. It seemed someone had shut Mrs. Black's curtain, probably Remus or the joint effort of the twins.

"Bloody arrogant git." Harry muttered good-naturedly. "Thinks he's so special just because he can kick my arse at chess -"

"Did Ron beat you again?" Sirius Black's familiar drawl came from the doorway. He wince as a particularly loud, vile curse came from Ron's shouts, causing his mother to renew her screams with a vigor. "I love having people here for once, but blimey! Are they always this bad, or is this just the charming effect of the House of Black?"

"Eh, it's just them." Harry shrugged. "It's not just the house."

"It can't possibly help much."

"I guess not." Harry stood and stretched, revealing a thin stretch of tan skin between his shirt and pants.

"You know, you actually look a bit like Remus did when he was your age when you do that." Sirius said mischievously, walking up to Harry. "He always hated it when I did this."

Sirius ran a finger very quickly, very lightly, over Harry's exposed skin. Harry let out a high-pitched yelp, and scrambled away from Sirius' long fingers. Sirius raised a dark brow in humor.

"Though he never quite reacted like that." A playful gleam danced in Sirius' eyes. "Oh, Harry, could it be? Are you as ticklish as your father once was?"

Harry backed away from Sirius slowly. "I think I'm going to go downstairs now." He tried to bolt for the door, but Sirius was faster than the boy. He grabbed his godson by the waist, and threw him back away from the door. With a flick of his wand, the door shut with a loud slam.

"You're not going anywhere." Sirius grinned wickedly. "No, I'm going to have some fun with you, you little bugger."

Harry eyed the door warily as he watched his chances of escaping his impending doom shut with the door. "Sirius, come on, what do you think you're going to do -"

He was cut off as Sirius launched himself at the sixteen-year-old, tackling the raven to the ground. Harry let out a startled yell and tried to pull himself out from under the ex-convict. Sirius laughed maliciously, and pinned Harry's legs beneath his own. He captured Harry's wrists and pinned them above Harry's head. Harry lay stretched out beneath Sirius, squirming unsuccessfully. To anyone looking in, it would be a very difficult situation to explain, especially with Harry's reddening face and Sirius' predatory expression.

"Sirius!" Harry tried to pull his hands out from Sirius' grip, but to no avail. "Sirius, let me go, damnit!"

"I don't think so, oh glorified Chosen One." Sirius said gleefully. "I'm going to have fun!"

Sirius dipped his head, and for a moment Harry thought the unimaginable - Oh sweet Merlin don't tell me he's going to - before a pair of lips met his exposed stomach and blew.

Harry shrieked, though he viciously denied it later, and bucked under Sirius' entrapping limbs, laughing as Sirius' fingers joined his mouth. They danced across his skin, leaving a delightful trail of torturous joy in their wake. Harry gasped as he ran out of breath, laughter and screams catching in his throat.

"Go-ood god…Sir…Sirius…s-stop!" he gasped. But Sirius pressed on relentlessly, smirking as he felt Harry's weak attempts to shove the taller man off. Sirius paused just long enough to look up at Harry's reddening face. Unfortunately for him, it was the few seconds that Harry needed.

With a burst of strength and speed, Harry wrenched himself out from underneath Sirius. He managed to crawl over to the far side of the coffee table, putting it between himself and Sirius. Harry jumped to his feet and stayed crouching, eyes trained on Sirius with the practiced perfection of a well-trained Auror. With a laugh, Sirius hauled himself up and stalked Harry around the table.

The two ravens circled the table, eyes never leaving the other's. Harry panted heavily, trying to find a way out of the study. Sirius grinned suddenly, then vaulted over the table. Harry let out a startled yell, and managed to move out of the way of his flying godfather, but just barely. Sirius managed to grab Harry's wrist, bringing them both down with a loud thump.

"No!" Harry screamed hysterically, before Sirius could get a better grip. "N-no, Sirius, st-stop!"

"Why?" Sirius smirked victoriously. "I'm having so very much fun."

He launched another attack, rolling over and pinning Harry beneath him yet again. Sirius tickled Harry mercilessly, seeming to thrive in Harry's helpless laughter. Harry shrieked and laughed and beat his fists against Sirius' chest, all in vain as Sirius fought him off with ease.

It was only when Harry lay gasping for air with tears in his emerald green eyes did Sirius stop. He rolled off Harry and lay on the floor next to him, panting.

"C-can't…b-bre-eathe…" Harry gasped. He curled up on his side, clutching his sides with his back to Sirius.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Oh, this is priceless!"

"Shut up, Sirius." Harry snapped, cheeks reddening. He hadn't exactly wanted anyone to know just how ticklish he was. It was rather embarrassing - the supposed Savior of he Wizarding World could be reduced to a completely helpless and useless pile of quivering flesh by a few well-placed strokes of light-touched fingers.

"You're supposed to be our Chosen One!"

"Shut up!"

Sirius roared with laughter. "You screamed like a little girl! You're supposed to save us?"

"Bite me, Sirius!" Harry shouted, smacking his godfather across the chest with the back of his hand. Sirius snickered and caught Harry's hand in his own. He brought it up to his lips and planted a quick kiss on Harry's palm.

"Come it off, Harry, it's just a bit of fun." Sirius said.

"Go away." Harry muttered, trying to pull his hand back from Sirius' grasp.

Sirius chuckled, and pulled Harry against his chest, embracing him tightly from behind. Once again, to anyone coming in, it would be difficult to explain. "You're a sourpuss, you know that?"

"Sod off."

"A right grouchy sourpuss, just like your father whenever I tickled him." Sirius continued, acting as if he hadn't heard the boy. "And just as sensitive as him, too. Do you have any of your mother in you?" he teased.

"You suck." Harry said darkly, allowing Sirius to hug him from behind.

"Stop being such a baby." Sirius smiled warmly at Harry. "You need to be a kid for a while. And every time I feel you're becoming too much of an adult, I'll be here to tickle you out of it!"

Harry's eyes widened and he wriggled out of Sirius' grasp. "Don't you dare!" he warned, clambering to his feet and vaulting over the couch. "I swear, Sirius, don't you do that again!"

"Or what?" Sirius called laughingly to Harry's disappearing back, as Harry ran out of the study.

Harry avoided Sirius like the Black Plague for the rest of the summer. If someone asked Sirius what was wrong between the two of them, he'd say that Harry was being taught a valuable lesson. If they would ask the lesson being taught, he'd just laugh, and say.

"Survival of the fastest, of course."

This is what my friggen Uncle does to me ALL THE TIME. He tickles the CRAP out of me and this scene above is usually what happens whenever he gets me alone in a room. XD It's not fun. And I've seen him reduce my cousin, who's thirteen and male, into what Harry did in the above story, so don't tell me that boys don't flip! If they're ticklish enough, they usually turn into screaming little girls. XD It's funny.

I promise a one-shot, so here it is! :D Again, you don't have to read Baby Mama Drama to understand this one, but those who have read the story will definatly enjoy this little spin-off! :D Tell me what you think! Reviewers get to be tickled by Sirius. ;)