Bowser Jr. and Toadette
Bowser and Petey Piranha
Waluigi and Paratroopa
Mario and Wario
Yoshi and Koopa
Donkey Kong and Toad
Luigi and Birdo
Diddy Kong and King Boo
Baby Park was small, was settled in an amusement park for babies, and it just was ripe for pure mayhem. The racers have all gathered, feeling that this race would be pure chaos. Little did they realize that they would be right.
Bowser Jr. turned to Toadette, smiling at her. "All right, sweety pie. You have the Golden Mushroom, and I got the Bowser Shell. Let's show these guys the real superpower of teamwork!"
Toadette held her hands together as she had a smile on her face. "Well, golly! Okay, Junior! I'll do my best!"
Bowser Jr. smiled as he posed. "Now you're getting the vibe! Let's do it!"
Toadette squealed as she winked. "You betcha, Junior!"
Bowser Jr. and Toadette cheered loudly as they high fived each other.
Bowser tapped the roof of his vehicle as he turned back to Petey. "All right, the Koopa King is roaring to go. Are you set?"
Petey Piranha flexed as he nodded. "Ready for action, captain! I'm ready, freddy!"
Bowser sighed as he gave Petey an odd look.
Waluigi stretched his lanky arms as he turned around, facing Paratroopa. "Are you ready to smoke these jokers?"
Paratroopa laughed as he took out a red shell. "Ha ha. You bet. I have these homing shells ready to go."
Mario groaned as he cleaned off the steering wheel. "All right, Wario. I'm ready to tear the tracks." He closed his eyes as he shook his head. "Try your best not to embarrass me."
Wario stuck his tongue out at Mario, disregarding the plumber's plea. "Pah! Wario does what he wants! Now get driving, toast boy!"
Yoshi was dancing in the driver's seat, giggling as he bopped his head back and forth. "I'm ready, I'm ready! I'm ready to race!"
Koopa placed both of his hands behind his back. "Somehow, I think some author guy is going to write a lot of stories about you come two years from now... I have no idea why."
Donkey Kong glanced back at Toad, holding a banana. "You seem hungry, Toad. Want something?"
Toad waved his hands at Donkey Kong. "No thanks. I rather eat after the race is done."
Luigi gulped as he nervously held the wheel. "Oh man. I got a bad feeling stuff is going to happen..."
Birdo sighed as she patted Luigi on the back. "Don't worry about it, Luigi. Just focus on the road and don't think about any of the items."
Diddy Kong chedk his vehicle equipment as he jumped to the back of the kart. He gulped as he looked around, asking, "Are you sure we'll do fine?"
King Boo laughed, ignoring Diddy's frightful plight as he boasted, "Ha! These losers don't have any idea of the mayhem I am ready to cause! Hehehehehe!"
And, with the signal of Lakitu giving the go to boost, all of the eight pairs of racers took off, racing in perhaps the shortest but craziest race course designed. Bowser Jr. and Toadette took the lead, but were quickly dispatched by an early dose of fireballs from Mario. As Mario and Wario snatched up first place, Koopa fired off triple green shells, causing them to ricochet everywhere. Petey and King Boo also grabbed triple green shells, and thus, the entire track turned into one big hellhole.
"Too many shells!" Luigi screamed in panic as he went spinning around, being knocked up by one.
Birdo groaned as she switched places with Luigi, using as many power slides and mini turbos as possible to get back up to the top. "Damn it, Luigi, do I have to do everything myself!"
As Birdo and Luigi got back to the top, a Bowser Shell was ricocheting around the course, nailing everyone. The audience gasped as the racers tried getting back,but the large number of green shells made it impossible to stay stable, coupled with another large Bowser Shell.
"I'm going to wipe that smirk off your ugly face!" Toad exclaimed, glaring at Bowser.
Bowser rolled his eyes as he rammed the Koopa King into the DK Jumbo. "I'll make you eat those words!"
Donkey Kong scratched his heads. "Why would you want to eat words during the race?"
Petey took out a Bo-bomb, tossing it right at DK and Toad. "I'm sure you prefer explosions over words!"
As lap two came, the racers sped as fast as they could. Yoshi and Koopa acquired a star, going right past the competition. But King Boo snuck in a Chain Chomp, using it to gain ahead. Petey quickly counted by using a heart, allowing him to grab two incoming green shells and tossing them back, hitting Luigi and Birdo.
This race was particularly going faster, mainly due to all the chaos engulfing. From ricocheting green shells, to homing red shells, to exploding blue shells and bo-bombs, to the speed destroying Bowser shell, on top of bananas and fake item boxes everywhere, this surely was the worst course for racing. So much chaos, that it cannot be described in words.
It was the final lap, and everyone was ready to call it quits. Bowser tossed another Bowser Shell, with Donkey Kong countering by tossing a Giant Banana. King Boo used a chain chomp, following Diddy's use of a star. Bowser Jr. and Toadette were in the back, colliding into too many fake item boxes. Wario was holding onto a bo-bomb that he had since lap 4.
"Wario, toss the friggin' bomb already!" Mario exclaimed, getting impatient.
Wario slapped Mario across the back of the head. "Shut up, you obese dwarf! I'll be ready when I'm ready!"
Finally, everyone was at the final turn. Much to the shock of everyone, King Boo and Diddy Kong grabbed a hold of first place, using the chaos to their advantage. Following them were Donkey Kong and Toad, taking good advantage of the Golden Mushroom. Wario intentionally tossed a bomb behind him, using the explosion as a decoy as Mario sped into third place. Swerving around the explosion, Birdo and Luigi acquired fourth place. Bowser and Petey Piranha coasted in fifth place, not having enough speed to catch up. Yoshi and Koopa used a star that popped out from one of Yoshi's eggs, nailing sixth place. Waluigi and Paratroopa tried getting as much acceleration as possible, snatching up seventh place.
Bowser Jr. and Toadette, surprisingly enough, ended up dead last, in eighth place. The chaos that engulfed on the repetitive course did not help them in the slightest.
"We… lost." Bowser Jr. quipped as he folded his arms, sighing as he closed his eyes.
Toadette's lips trembled as she was depressed. "Sniffle… this is sad. I know we weren't really that great, but… we got last…" She started to sniffle as tears formed in her eyes. "Oh no…"
Bowser Jr. turned to Toadette, trying to calm her down. "Now, don't cry just because we lost the race…" He then shook his right fist angrily as he growled. "As mad as I am that I didn't have it in me to continue…"
"My tummy hurts…" Toadette cried as she placed her hands on her eyes, "I want my mommy…"
King Boo laughed as he pointed at Bowser Jr. and Toadette, taunting them. "I want my mommy! Bobobobobo!"
Diddy rubbed his right arm nervously, frowning as he shook his head. "Uh, that's not a good idea to tease them, Big B…"
King Boo turned to Diddy, growing bigger as his eyes started to glow eerily. "Shut up, monkey boy, or you're joining those two chumps."
Diddy gulped as he whimpered, ready to wet himself out of fright. "Oh… okay…"
King Boo returned to his normal size, shaking his head as he muttered, "Why was I stuck with you again..."
"I could ask you the same thing..." Diddy whispered to himself, folding his arms.
Donkey Kong pounded his chest in triumph. "Hohohoho! Second place! That's great for us!"
Toad wasn't feeling the same, as he felt sad for his sister. "Yeah, but poor Toadette doesn't look good... she didn't take either place so well."
Donkey Kong stopped pounding his chest, and he patted Toad on the back, trying his best to comfort him. "Don't fret, Toad. It's just a race. I'm sure they'll get better."
Toad turned his head around to look at DK, a faint smile across his face. "Oh, I hope you're right. I don't want my poor sister broken.
Bowser sighed as he rubbed the back of his head. "Fifth place. That's disappointing."
Petey placed his big leafy hands on his hips, nodding in agreement. "Yeah. It's not the best in the world, but at least we tried."
Bowser turned to Petey, pointing at Bowser Jr. "I know my son performed worst, but I'm sure he can come around like his old man."
Petey applauded Bowser, clapping his big hands. "That's the spirit, Bowser! Just go with the flow and stick out to the end! We'll surely do better!"
"I don't know if I should be happy..." Mario mumbled as he rubbed his brown hair, holding his red cap in his right hand.
Wario was laughing himself, boasting his victory over the others as he turned to Mario. "What do you mean? We got third, that's better than most of the other chumps!"
"Yeah, but I'm sharing it with you." Mario growled, glaring at Wario.
Wario placed his right hand on Mario's head, stumping him. "So, you want another wedgie is what you're hinting at, eh?"
Yoshi hung his head in shame. "God, that course murdered us. Sixth place."
Koopa had his right hand on his forehead. "All those shells... I think I'm going to stay out of the next Mario Kart grand prix."
Yoshi glared at Koopa. "Coming from the guy who spawns most of them."
Koopa stuck his tongue out at Yoshi. "Hey! It's not my fault multiple shells are my greatest gimmick! You toss eggs, meanwhile!"
Yoshi folded his arms. "Well, at least we get good items out of my eggs!"
"Not helping your case!" Koopa retorted as he furiously jumped up and down on the kart.
Waluigi planted both of his hands on his face, constantly groaning. "This is only the third race, and already we're sucking."
Paratroopa slapped Waluigi across the back of the head. "Suck it up, whiny pants! We can do much better!"
Waluigi growled as he grabbed Paratroopa by the neck. "Yeah, but we lost to your cousin over there!"
"...He's my twin brother," Paratroopa meekly responded as he blinked several times.
Waluigi tossed his arms in the air. "Well excuse me for not being able to tell the difference between you guys!"
Paratroopa sighed as he shook his head. "It's a hard life, being part of a generic race..."
Luigi sighed as he shrugged. "Fourth place. Oh well."
Birdo's eyes slightly widened. "I'm shocked. You seem to take a low place well."
Luigi rubbed the back of his head. "Well, being stuck in the shadow of your spotlight stealing brother will do that to you."
Birdo nodded her head as she placed her right hand on her face. "My... that does make this situation all the more tolerable..."
Bowser Jr. and Toadette - 7
Bowser and Petey Piranha - 15
Waluigi and Paratroopa - 11
Mario and Wario - 16
Yoshi and Koopa - 11
Donkey Kong and Toad - 17
Luigi and Birdo - 15
Diddy Kong and King Boo - 17