Brought to you by: Shinji's Good Sharing Inc.
"Just because our writers are nutty doesn't mean we can't be corny!"
by Shinji the Good Sharer
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. If you think I do then you're out of your mind. This is a free fanfic and will NOT in ANY WAY generate money for my personal use. Flames will be used to burn the hair of Dumbledore's ass.
Boneheads and Brooms
It was July thirty-first and Harry was relaxing in the sun to increase his tan. Fleur, Mai, Narcissa, Morrigan, Kurenai, Anko, Ssapdril and Iymithra were also sunbathing. The fact that all of them except Fleur and Narcissa were in micro-string bikinis were not lost on him as he had begun to understand his attraction to the female body. Dobby and Nippy had taken the day off to go on a 'house-elf date' which probably had to do with some form of house work somewhere really filthy or something. Nauris was busy with finding out how ice tree seeds worked and she was most interested in making even more of them for Harry.
A soft mewl beside his deck chair caught Harry's attention as he saw Felicia in her full cat form holding a letter in her mouth. Her claws were covered in blood and she looked extremely proud of herself as she hopped onto his stomach. "Killed yourself another mail owl did you Felicia?" Harry asked.
Purring happily as she turned into her humanoid form clad only in the thin lines of white fur as she rubbed her pelvis on his washboard abs the catwoman moaned lightly. She set the letter between her large breasts and pressed them together playfully as she leaned forward only letting Harry take it from her with his teeth like always. Once he had his letter she laid her body along his while he read it, licking his chest lovingly.
The other women giggled at the display. Normally Felicia was a fighter with an independent streak a mile wide and a cute nature that would make you let your guard just long enough for her to shred you to pieces despite her affectionate nature. But when dealing with Harry she was they stereotypical horny catgirl slave as she purred and did anything she could to interest him in shagging her.
Raising an eyebrow at the letter once he had read it Harry put it down and cupped Felicia's pert buttocks kneading the muscular but still pliable flesh which caused the catwoman to mewl pitifully. He didn't pay attention to her bucking her hips helplessly. "I apparently have a private box at the Quidditch World Cup. You girls want to be my dates?" he asked getting happy squeals and lots of kisses. "Great, I'll arrange the seating for us, the Kitsune and my team." Harry said before smacking Felicia's butt hard with a loud crack making her yowl loudly with her eyes crossing just before Harry dispelled into a puff of smoke revealing that it had been a clone.
Felicia fell face first on the deck chair with a dopey grin on her face and her eyes glazed over as she panted. The pungent smell coming off her didn't help the other women who ran off to their own rooms and locked the doors. None of them came out for a few hours.
In his office the real Harry smirked as he finished signing his daily paper work. He wrote a letter and put it in the out box. Morrigan would send it out with her bats later on. Standing, he stretched and got ready for his afternoon training session when his floo burst into green flames. He raised an eyebrow at Kakashi who arrived followed by two men who the wards immediately subjugated.
Twitching slightly, Harry looked at the confused Jōunin and sighed. "Alright, I give, how in the world did you manage to lead those two here for the wards to take down?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Kakashi looked a little sheepish as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, actually I thought it was you and Naruto trying to play a joke on me for your birthday. I just decided to play along and when 'you' asked me to 'take you to Naruto' I figured you wanted me to come here for whatever joke you wanted to play." He admitted making the dark haired boy's eye twitch slightly.
Harry frowned as he looked at the two men activating his Sharingan. One was the form of Hoshigaki Kisame the Daimyo killer. The other was… "Well… at least I don't have to worry about getting Sasuke a birthday gift." Harry muttered as he looked at his mirror image convulsing on the floor.
Hokage – Fire Shadow
Sennin – Legendary Ninja
Jutsu – Technique
ANBU – Black Ops
Jōunin – Elite Ninja
Chūunin – Average or Journeyman Ninja
Genin – Trainee Ninja
Shinobi – Male Ninja
Kunoichi – Female Ninja
Genjutsu – Illusion Shill
Ninjutsu – Ninja Skill
Taijutsu – Body Skill
Kenjutsu – Sword Skill
Kinjutsu – Forbidden Skill
There's the Prologue, and Chapter 1 is right behind it. I'm so evil and cruel.