Authors Notes: Uh, I wrote this for an English class in my senior year. Erm, but I changed the names and stuff. Sorry if you love Hagrid and I turned him to a fat-ass. Sorry. Anyhow, I'd like some reviews. This is Rated R for language and I hope you enjoy *smiles* Thanks a lot!


ps- please review!

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Super-Ugly Psycho Killer Guy

The entrance of a popular magical movie theater opened violently as storms of laughing, chattering, and thrilled magical-moviegoers walked to their parked broomsticks. Smells of buttered popcorn and stale, cigarette smoke occupied the air of the hot summer night. The bright yellow and ruby lights that outlined the empty box-office illuminated the groups of teens that waited for a ride or just idly talked about the midnight movie they had just watched. Walking past the half-torn movie posters that displayed the title "Super-Ugly Psycho Killer Guy" and a ghastly figure with white razor-sharp teeth and devilish, red eyes stabbing a terrified blond muggle teenager with a bloodstained machete, a group of seventh years excitedly maneuvered their way through the dwindling crowd.

"Dude, that was the scariest movie I had ever seen in my entire life!" squealed Lavender as she walked on her noisy platform shoes between the lengthy lines of honking cars that bolted to leave the congested broomstick and muggle-car parking lot.

"My favorite part was where the psycho dude gouged out the school valedictorian's jugular with her diploma in front of the entire auditorium during the commencement ceremony!" joked Hermione. "She deserved it. She was so damn annoying!"

All the four senior girls in the group laughed as they reached Hermione's glistening, flaming red Porsche. Hermione's long ebony, shiny hair flew in the warm summer-night wind and her long eyelashes cast a dim shadow on her summer bronzed face from the light while looking down as she fumbled through her purse with her long, light bronze fingers to get her keys.

"Yeah, I know. That girl was so irritating. I hate fake people who act nice on the surface but cut you down behind your back," Cho said while she sank into the smooth tan leather back seat. "People shouldn't betray their friends...Wouldn't you agree, Hermione?"

As they loaded into the slick red car, a musty mass of thick hot air escaped making it hard to breathe. "Sure. Whatever." Hermione replied as she exchanged glances with her deep green eyes with Ginny. "Cho can be so weird sometimes. I can't believe she still believes those rumors that I was talking behind her back," Hermione disappointedly thought to herself.

"Gins, call your overprotective boyfriend, and tell him that you're on your way and inform Harry that I'm on my way," Hermione said with a smirk.

"Shut up, Hermione," Ginny replied with a soft giggle. Brushing back her silky, chocolate-colored hair, Ginny reached into her faded jean skirt and pulled out her royal blue cellular phone. Her flaxen, beige complexion was barely noticeable under the faint pale light of the sporty car. "Hi, Draco. We're leaving the movies now, so we'll be home for the party in a little bit. Okay? I love you, too. Bye."

"Hey, Hermione, try not to kill us this time with your reckless driving, okay? The highway is pretty dangerous with your kind on the road!" Lavender joked with a loud snicker.

Her smile shone brightly making her hazel eyes twinkle that greatly went with her modern style, faded jeans, and and her azure Abercrombie and Fitch shirt. Because she dressed eccentrically, Lavender was unique and an attention-grabber everywhere she went. Pulling up her brownish-blond hair, which laid on her shoulders, Lavender tuned through the stations to find a good song. Pulling out of the almost empty parking lot, Cho just sulked in the background.

"Cho, is something wrong?" Hermione asked as she pulled onto a vacant road.

"Oh, no. Nothing is wrong," Cho answered with a fake smile. Her shiny and magnificent black hair, which gave a blue luster, was the only thing noticeable in the car, not even her icy blue eyes could be seen.

"Look, Cho. I'm sorry for anything I did, okay. Let's just go to the party at Draco's house cool. Alright?" Hermione said sincerely.

Finally, after a long awkward silence Cho sighed and spoke, "OK, you're right. I'm sorry that I've been acting this way."

"No problem," Hermione smiled.

"Now let's get to the party before Draco and Harry get worried," Ginny said with her soft voice.

As they drove down an unknown country road, towering fields of droopy, green corn stalks that ominously swayed in the hot summer breeze surrounded them. No car could be seen for miles on the black-paved road that was exploding with potholes.

Almost midnight, the sky was as black as coal, and the four teen-age girls became worried, as the seemingly routine trip grew longer. The loud music abruptly stopped as the magic-radio announcer spoke, "To all of those traveling on or near the County-Line Road, drive with caution because six men tried to escape the London Penitentiary at approximately 9:30 p.m. After a short hunt, police apprehended five of the escapees, but one felon, Fat-ass Hagrid remains eluded. The escaped convict, who stole a vehicle and was last seen nearing State Route 64 and County-Line Road, is extremely dangerous and known to possess psychotic tendencies. Your magic--even the strongest of you witches and wizards magic can't be worked. They criminals placed a 'Finite Incantatum'--its when ALL spells stop working, F.Y.I. So, all of you that live near that area, lock your doors and wind-" Lavender turned off the radio and looked at Hermione with big horror-filled eyes.

"Shouldn't we have been there by now?" asked Lavender with a barely audible, cracked voice.

"No, we're almost to Draco's house. It isn't my fault that Draco lives in Butt-Fucking Egypt!" Ginny responded trying to lighten the mood after hearing the awful news on the radio.

"This is too spooky. I'm scared. What if Fat-Ass comes after us?" Cho whispered.

"No, this is all in your head, Cho. You just saw `Super-Ugly Psycho Killer Guy,' and you are probably just a little frightened. I mean, who wouldn't be? That was one pretty scary mov-" Hermione tried to say. But before she could finish a rusty sea-green pick-up truck zoomed out of a hardly noticeable, ominous clearing and cut off the red Porsche causing the car to swerve and almost smash into the corn stalks hurling the four girls to a screeching halt on the road as Hermione slammed on the brakes. The group lunged forward, and then their seat belts instantly pelted them back into their leather seats.

"Holy shit!" Hermione screamed.

Terror, disbelief, and pain struck the girls' faces. Attempting to catch her breath,

"Is everyone all right?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, we're fine," Lavender sighed.

"What the fuck! Who was that jerk, anyway? He almost killed us! What a fucking asshole!"

As Lavender pushed the button to slide the window down to scream at the person who had almost caused a horrible accident, a look of sheer dread enveloped her pale face. When the hideous, lime-colored pick-up truck stopped abruptly, a towering, heavy-set man with broad shoulders and a dirty flannel shirt under a worn pair of denim blue overalls climbed out of the massive truck, slammed the door, and slowly lumbered to the rear of the rusted pick-up. Searching through the back of the truck, the huge man abruptly pulled out a long, curved-shaped, gleaming piece of metal and casually trudged towards the fearful girls.

"AAAGGGHHHH!" everyone screamed in unison.

All the girls instantaneously bolted out of the car. Hermione, Lavender, and Ginny tumultuously ran towards the enormous, white house they had passed which rested only a mile back while Cho dashed through the thick corn fields without them. Hermione's heart leapt when she saw the man lunge toward Cho's direction. Hermione continued to flee. Her pulse was racing, unable to believe what was happening.

"Oh my god!" Hermione screamed as she looked back. "He's going after Cho!"

"Oh, no!" cried Ginny. "He's going to kill her with the sickle!"

Afraid of being killed, they sprinted for their lives and finally reached the farmhouse.

"It's got to be that Fat-ass Hagrid killer!" Lavender wailed as she gasped for air while she profusely bawled tears.

"Oh, God, Please help us. Please!" Hermione begged as tears stormed down her red cheeks.

"Gin, call for help on your phone!"

"I can't! It fell when we were running here. Maybe there's someone in there that can help us. They might have a phone," Ginny said trying not to lose faith.

After anxiously pounding on the shabby, chipped door, no reply came. Lavender flew open the door and raced inside the stuffy, pitch-black room. Hermione and Ginny quickly followed and frantically sought a light-switch, which could not be found. With sweaty, shaky hands, Hermione pulled out a lighter from her pocket and barely lit up the foyer that led to a crumbling, broken staircase. Hastily entering the room right of the entranceway, they smelt a putrid odor. As they hopelessly looked for a phone, the three trembling girls stuck together. Only the feeble pants and soft, subdued weeping of the girls could be heard in the completely silent and still room. Then, soft distant footsteps from the back of the house filled the room. Clank. Clank. Clank. The footsteps grew louder until a ghastly figure appeared in the back doorway.

"It's Fat-ass Hagrid!" cried Lavender and in a moment of panic, she was about to race up the staircase to the dark, dingy second-floor, but stopped.

"No, it's only me," said a familiar voice. Hermione pulled her lighter towards the rear of the murky, stagnant room. Draco appeared with a tremendous look of worry on his face. "Gin-win, what's going on? Are you guys all right? What's wrong?" Draco asked as he walked towards Ginny and placed his hands under her cheeks.

Ginny jumped into Draco's arms and started crying, "Draco, I'm so glad you're here. Hermione and I are so scared. We were driven off the road by Fat-ass Hagrid, the man who escaped from jail, and now, for some reason, the fucker's after us!"

"What?" Draco inquired pushing back his wild, tamed golden hair.

"Yeah, we saw the same guy in the movie and now he fucking wants to chop our fucking heads off with a giant fucking sickle!" exclaimed Hermione, "How'd you find us?"

"When you didn't come home after the movie, I got worried. I saw your car run off the road, which made us even more scared," Draco said with his absorbing mysterious chestnut eyes and his deep rich voice. "Harry's waiting for you in the car, Hermione. He was expecting you at the party and when you didn't show up he got worried, too."

"So, Harry's here?" Hermione asked.

"Yup, he's waiting. So, let's go," Draco said.

"Take us home, Dra-" Ginny attempted to say.

"I'm sorry. You won't be going home very soon, but you mustn't lose your head now!" Fat-ass Hagrid bantered as he swung the terrible sickle and hacked off Draco's head splashing vivid, crimson blood and bits of flesh and bone everywhere and on everyone.

"NO!" shrieked Ginny shaking her head in disbelief while crying.

With one more swift sway, Fat-ass tried to slice Ginny in half spilling all of her entrails and insides on the grimy, dusty floor but she kicked his balls. He bent down and soon enough, he stood back up. Lunging toward Lavender, he swung his arm up in the air, but Lavender grabbed a dirty, brass candlestick that was on a table and forcefully struck Fat-ass's face leaving a bloody gash on his cheek. He stumbled backwards as Lavender and Hermione fled the room. Lavender escaped upstairs, and Fat-ass followed instantly. As she breathlessly reached the top of the shattered stairs, Fat-ass surged and grabbed her foot. Hermione ran to the staircase and violently smashed Fat-ass's knee with the candlestick causing him to roar in anguish. Fighting with the monster, Lavender fell on planks of broken sharp wood. Tearing the floorboards apart, she freed a wooden piece, struggled to sit up, and drove it in the back of the head of Fat-ass. He let out a painful scream and plummeted to the
bottom of the steps leaving a streak of scarlet blood. With shaky knees, Lavender slowly stood up at the top of the staircase and looked downheartedly at Hermione over the tragic events that had just occurred. Lavender let out a sigh of relief. Before she began her descent, she felt something behind her. She gasped as a hand touched her shoulder, and she turned around to see it was only Cho.

"Cho, you're alive!" exclaimed Lavender.

"Yes, but you won't be," Cho smiled. "Did you meet my friend, Fat-ass Hagrid? Hmm. It looks like you've killed him."

Lavender had a puzzled look on her face. Cho swung the bloody sickle and almost sliced Lavender right down the middle of her body, luckily she dodged it but Cho got her side which left a gigantic slit and made Lavender faint. Hermione looked in horror and disbelief.

"Oh my God!" screamed Hermione. "You bitch! You're insane!"

Rage built inside Hermione as she just almost had lost two of her best friends. Infuriated, she grabbed a thin, black poker from the fireplace and lunged at Cho and screamed, "You didn't have to kill them. If you were mad at me, you should have come after me! Lavender and Ginny didn't do anything to you! You fucking psycho!"

Cho moved out of the way, as Hermione ran up the stairs aiming the poker at her. She missed Cho, and dug the poker into the peeling walls.

"You were talking about me to them! I hate you. You're the bitch!" Cho wailed as she cornered Hermione.

Hermione punched Cho in the face spilling blood and teeth as she stabbed Cho in her thigh. Cho winced in pain, tripped on the protruding boards of wood, and rose up her sickle to take one final swing. Boom! Cho abruptly stopped. Cho looked down in amazement to see a bullet hole in her stomach. She threw down her sickle and turned around to see Harry standing at the bottom of the staircase holding a black, shiny gun in her direction.

Hermione stared at Cho's eyes and said, "Good-bye, Cho." She tumbled down the stairs landing on Harry's feet. Hermione's water-filled eyes met Harry's warm, light brown eyes and she raced towards him, and embraced Harry tightly for a long time.

Leaning over, he kissed her forehead and whispered, "Let's go home, Hermione."