Neal... come on... walk it off.
"I'm going to curl up here..." Neal was tired, slumping some in those arms but they wouldn't let him, pulling him up to his feet again.
Neal... just walk. Ok? Come on. Watch your head.
"Tired..." Neal heard his voice slur as he sat. He pushed his fedora over his face despite the darkness outside as he curled up in the car seat and leaned against the door. Someone was nudging him from behind now and he heard a click as his seat belt was put on. He didn't fight them, slumping in the seat and closing his eyes. Someone nudged him again but he was too tired to respond.
He heard the person sigh, a familiar voice he couldn't quite place. He didn't turn to look at them or respond as he closed his eyes and nodded off to sleep. His whole body felt heavy and unresponsive, a scent wafting up to his nose that made him crinkle it but he slept, the movement and sound of the car lulling him to rest.
Neal wasn't sure how long he slept before he felt the car stop. He moved ever so slightly, a hand touching his shoulder briefly or did he dream it? Someone was talking to him and he heard the door open behind him and then silence, the young man falling back to sleep again.
Tap tap tap tap...
There was a sound. Neal crinkled his face, squinting in his sleep to ignore it. It continued till he realized it was a sound of someone tapping on a window. He woke up a bit more as the sound became more insistent. Neal pushed up his fedora to look.
"Neal? Neal wake up!" Elizabeth Burke was looking down at him through the passenger side door, her face shadowy in the street lights. Neal sat up immediately, rubbing at his eyes and looking around confused till he realized where he was. He clumsily opened up the door and saw Elizabeth step back, looking at him curiously.
"El? Whe..." Neal felt confused at finding himself in Peter's Taurus, the vehicle parked in front of the Burke's home apparently. Neal was still a bit hung over, remembering he had been drinking... a lot. He must have called Peter or something. He turned and nobody was in the driver's seat, the keys still in the ignition.
"Where's Peter? I guess he picked me up?" Neal started to stand but fell back into the car against the seat, his head hurting. El look at him worriedly.
"I was going to ask you the same thing. He called to say he went to pick you up and he was headed this way. When you didn't show, I looked out and saw the car." She looked at him for an answer but Neal didn't remember much of anything, his mind drawing a blank.
"I... he was talking to me I think... I don't know." Neal felt dizzy, reaching back for the keys before trying to exit the vehicle again. He passed the keys to El as she closed the door behind him.
"Maybe he went to get you something to wake up. There's a store around the corner. I'll call his phone. Come on inside." She started to help him to the stairs, Neal weaving as she struggled to ease him up the steps and into the house. Neal shook his head as he tried to wake himself and felt sick instead.
"El..." His voice sounded desperate as he stumbled up their stairs to the second floor, running to the bathroom and closed the door. She knocked after a moment.
"Neal? Neal you ok?" He heard her calling but he was too sick to respond, slumping after a few minutes against the wall on the floor. Neal closed his eyes and thought he could sleep there before he heard the knock again, waking up.
"Neal... did you need anything?" El was calling to him worriedly. He pulled himself up and shook his head at the door.
"No... I'm... I... ok." His voice was slurring as he flushed the toilet and weaved to the sink to wash his hands, face and rinse his mouth. He fumbled with the door handle till he opened it up and leaned against the frame looking up and down the hall. It seemed to shift and move like he was at sea, the action making him dizzy. He saw El come out of a door and walk towards him.
"Hey..." She put an arm around him and led him over to the door she had just exited. It was their guest room, Neal only vaguely aware of it's familiarity as he was walked over to the bed. He felt his jacket gently pulled from him, El helping him out of it and loosening his tie as he lay back against the bed with a soft thud. She pulled off his shoes and put them aside as he turned and looked at her with glassy blue eyes.
"Thank you, El..." He was smiling at her he knew and she smiled softly back, her hand gently caressing a hair from his face before she blurred out of focus and he passed out.
El watched Neal look up at her with that charming but a bit drunken smile before his blue eyes rolled back and he passed out. He reeked of gin and maybe bourbon. She wasn't quite sure but she pulled the blanket over him and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Once she was downstairs, El pulled out her phone and dialed Peter's cell. The line rang and rang before she heard his voice.
"Leave a message." The voicemail beeped.
"Peter, honey... Where are you? Neal's here." Her voice sounded worried, hanging up when the voice mail options came up. She placed the phone in the pocket of her sweats, walking to the window and peering outside briefly before sitting on the sofa. Where was her husband? Why did he leave Neal in the car alone and why were the keys in the ignition?
She sighed, turning on the TV as she prepared to wait it out. It was after 10 PM now and she hoped Peter would come home soon.
El woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. She stood up sleepily, walking over and picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" She gave a little yawn, stretching as she looked around to see it was after 2 am.
"Elizabeth, it's Hughes. Is Caffrey there?" She heard the voice of Peter's boss, Reese Hughes. He sounded tired but there was something else in his tone, worry.
"Reese? What's wrong?" She was beginning to think something had happened to Peter but she didn't want to think about it. She heard the agent cough on the other side.
"I... I need to talk to Caffrey if he's there." Reese sounded tight-lipped which meant something was up. Elizabeth nodded to the phone excusing herself as she lay it on the shelf and walked upstairs. El knocked on the guest room door but there was no answer. She quietly opened up the door and peered inside.
"Neal? Neal wake up." She thought she heard a wheezy breath and snort as he started to stir. She walked over and gently nudged him.
"Neal... wake up." El heard the young man rouse, sitting up suddenly, wiping at his face.
"El? What's wrong?" He saw the look on her face as she switched on the lamp, squinting at the sudden light. He looked confused as if trying to remember why he was here.
"Hughes... he's on the phone asking for you." Her voice sounded hollow as she stood aside and he pushed himself out of bed and followed her out of the room and downstairs. El watched him stagger to the phone and pick it up, pushing it to his ear.
"Caffrey." His face was still sleepy but it was apparent something was going on when his blue eyes perked up.
"No, I... My memory's a bit fuzzy. Yes sir, I understand. I really don't remember much. Not a problem…" Neal hung up the phone, the look on his face obviously torn about something. He turned and saw El sitting on the sofa looking at him expectantly, blue eyes watery. Neal coughed, his usual charming self looking a bit worse for wear as he moved to sit beside her, his hand grasping hers gently.
"Hughes is sending Jones to pick me up. I..." He paused as if uncertain of something but he shook his head, a frown on his handsome face.
"I wasn't supposed to but... they may have found Peter." He left it at that, his body language saying more than his words. She gave a gasp and leaned against him, Neal putting his arms around her in a brotherly manner. El was crying, her face pushed into the young man's shoulder a moment before she back away, wiping at her eyes.
"You said 'may have found?' Neal... what's going on?" She held his hand in hers tightly, looking at him for answers. He looked helplessly back, obviously no more knowledgeable than she was. El smiled softly, sniffling and hugging him briefly as she stood.
"I'll fix you some coffee." She moved towards the kitchen, disappearing inside.
Neal had no idea what was going on. He barely remembered showing up at the Burke's, bits and pieces of Peter talking to him and sitting in the Taurus starting to come back. He had been surprised to wake up in their guest room, El nudging him urgently to wake up. Hughes had called to ask about Peter but he couldn't remember anything. It was then he got the news that they may have found the agent's body a few minutes ago. They weren't certain it was him but so far everything was checking out until they did a visual exam. Hughes wanted to talk to him.
He was stunned at the news, not sure what to tell El when Hughes told him not to say anything. He didn't want to worry her but if Peter were already missing and she knew it... he didn't want to hurt her so he told her what he knew and promised to keep her up to date. He hoped to God that it wasn't Peter they'd found. How could they? Hadn't Peter picked him up from the bar when he called and dropped him off here? He didn't drive himself. Bits and pieces of what had happened were starting to come back. He nearly jumped when his phone buzzed, Neal taking it sheepishly from his pocket and lifting it to his ear.
"Caffrey... Hey Mozz, what's... you heard? No it's not confirmed yet. No but I'm going to the scene. Hughes insisted." He was listening to his friend, nodding sleepily as he tried to get over the worse of his drunkenness, the sleep having helped. He looked up as El walked in and handed him a large cup of coffee. He thanked her, his heart breaking at the look of worry on her face. Peter was missing and he was the last person to see him. Well, technically see him. Neal was so out of it he only really remembered hearing his friend's voice. Could he have imagined it?
"Mozz, I can't talk but see what you can find out. Thanks. Bye." He looked up and smiled slightly at El.
"He's up this late?" She asked, her voice still hollow as her worry showed. He nodded, standing up as he drank the coffee and tried to wake up. Jones would be here soon and she would be alone. He didn't want that so he pulled out his phone and made a quick call.
"I'm sorry... I... you were awake. I won't be coming home now but... El." He moved away to speak quieter into the cell out of ear shot.
"June... Peter's gone and El's alone. Can I have Jones drop her off there? You'll come over here? You sure? Thank you. I'm sorry if I wo... Thanks. Bye." He smiled but it wasn't a good smile. He was feeling more worried now. How could he not remember what happened to his friend and partner? Had he really been that out of it he didn't hear anything? Peter had been in the car, he knew that much but then what? What had happened that he disappeared into thin air?
"El, June's going to come over and keep you company. Is that alright?" He hoped she didn't think that too presumptuous of him but she looked relieved.
"No, I'm glad for the company. I... tell me, Neal. What happened? I know Peter was outside with you. He had to be but... what happened? He couldn't have just disappeared." She sounded so lost, her voice neither accusatory or angry.
"I don't know. I was really drunk when he picked me up. I barely remember calling him or the ride here. I was surprised to wake up here till I remembered you helping me out of the car." He took another sip of the coffee, turning at the sound of a knock on the door. El looked a bit concerned, Neal walking over to the door quietly and peeking out the peephole. He saw Jones and opened up the door.
"Hey..." He saw the agent nod back, looking over at El and nodding again.
"You ready? Hughes is already headed that way. Hi, Mrs. Burke." Jones smiled briefly, his manner all business but he looked a bit sleepy. She nodded back holding up a hand for them to wait as she turned and disappeared into the kitchen and then came back with a small silver thermos and some cups.
"Just in case."
Neal slipped into the passenger side of the dark blue sedan. He immediately poured a bit of the coffee from the thermos into the two cups, taking one for himself. He saw Jones smile and nod, taking up the other cup as he pulled out into the street.
"You look like you've had a rough night." Jones seemed curious about something, his eyes glancing over at Neal curiously.
"Yeah, you could say that. So, what's going on, Jones? Hughes only told me a little bit and my head's still a bit fuzzy." Neal nursed his cup of coffee, taking in the aroma. Jones nodded, a frown on his face.
"I only know Hughes said they received a call from the Police of finding a body with an FBI badge, Peter's badge." Jones' face looked as close to worried as Neal had ever seen it.
"Oh no... El... " Neal's blue eyes turned watery, his hands beginning to shake so he put the cup in the cup holder.
"Are they certain it's Peter? He picked me up. I know he did although I wasn't quite myself when he arrived at the bar. I just... I really don't recall too much but I know he parked the car at their home. I'm certain of it... well pretty certain." Neal sighed, his brow furrowed in a deep frown as he tried to recall the evening. Jones nodded.
"Well, they said the body was pretty badly tore up. We're supposed to go to the scene and check it out. You ok for this?" Jones looked worried but Neal nodded.
"I think I'm awake now, if I wasn't before. I really hope they made a mistake."
They arrived at the crime scene, a field outside the warehouse district filled with swampy land from the recent rains. Neal slipped out of the car when Jones parked, Hughes already outside waiting to greet them.
"Caffrey, I understand you saw Peter last of all. I know you said you don't remember anything but we need to be sure." He didn't sound accusatory, just curious. Neal nodded, his head still fuzzy.
"I just remember Peter's voice more than anything. I was pretty drunk when he came to pick me up. I guess I had called him. I don't know. I just know he picked me up in the Taurus and I heard his voice more than saw him. Then I passed out and El woke me up some time later. I was sleeping in the passenger seat, the car locked, keys in the ignition and the car parked in front of their house." Neal looked pretty confused. Hughes nodded, leading the two younger men to the scene, several police cruisers already active, men combing the area for clues.
Hughes lead them to an ambulance marked 'Coroner.' He spoke with one of the people on duty and they nodded, the older agent motioning Neal over. The young man walked over with some trepidation.
"Neal, this is Jacob Smith, our forensics guy. I don't think you've met." The two men shook hands briefly, Jacob opening up the back of the ambulance.
"I need you to look at the body and ID it if possible." The man was soft spoken, his brown eyes sparkling with intelligence. Neal nodded as he moved inside to view what might be his friend's body.
When the sheet was pulled aside Neal wanted to run, but he held back pitying whoever this was and still hoping beyond hope it wasn't Peter. At first glance, the face had been badly cut up, with barely anything to show it was remotely Peter much less any other person. Their throat had been cut, teeth removed, ears missing among other things. Neal bit at his lip, swallowing hard to not be sick. He saw the hands were missing, another item that made his stomach turn, his resolve finally leaving.
"Neal?" Hughes called out as he saw the young man pass, Neal kneeling on the ground and throwing up. Jones walked over, kneeling beside him and helping him up after a moment. Neal looked up at both agents, trying to speak as he wiped his mouth and took a proffered bottle of water.
"That's not Peter." He whispered it, his blue eyes glittering with relief. Hughes gave him a strange look.
"And how did you determine that, Caffrey? It's his clothes, his badge..." Hughes paused as Neal held up a hand, his watch sparkling in the dim light.
"His watch. That's not his watch, besides the fact Jacob would probably tell you anyone trying to hide someone's identity would remove the hands and anything else that would ID the person. They did all that and left ID... which means they want us to think it's Peter but not be able to ID it beyond the badge. I've known mobsters to do it when they want to disappear." He saw the look on their faces when he said that, Jacob nodding.
"That's what I was trying to tell the police when I got the call. Hughes, you have a very smart CI there. I can see why you brought him in on this." Jacob patted Neal on the shoulder as he disappeared back into the truck. Hughes ran a hand through his hair, looking at both Neal and Jones who were not looking good.
"Jones, take Neal back to the Burke's. Both of you rest up. Neal, be at my office tomorrow around noon. I need to take your statement officially." He didn't sound angry or anything but Neal nodded, walking away with Jones as they went back to the car. Neal turned to the agent, both men unsure what was going on it seemed.
"Am I a suspect? I really don't understand what's going on." Neal was still pretty out of it, mostly why he didn't make too much of an issue. By morning he'd be regretting that he thought but for now he was just glad to know this wasn't Peter. He stifled a yawn, Jones doing the same.
"I don't think so. Your anklet shows you moving within your two mile radius and sitting at the Burke's for a good hour before you went inside. But with the past tampering, Hughes just wants to protect you and Peter wherever he is. At least you have an alibi for the last few hours with Elizabeth having been with you. I think you're safe." He patted Neal on the back both men entering the vehicle.
When Jones dropped Neal off, he stuck around long enough to see Neal enter, June answering the door. Neal waved at Jones watching the car disappear down the street. He blinked June held a finger to her lips. She pointed at the sofa, Elizabeth curled up and asleep. He nodded, pointing upstairs.
"Night June, and thanks." He whispered as he kissed her cheek. She nodded, going back to sit near Elizabeth.
Neal had nightmares, tossing and turning in bed, his voice softly murmuring.
He dreamed that he felt the car stop, someone nudging him.
Neal... Neal wake up. We're here. Neal?
He heard Peter's voice but he didn't turn to look. Neal was still too drunk, the alcohol keeping him from responding. The nudging stopped, the sound of the car engine dying, keys jingling as the car door opened. Neal heard the dinging that indicated the keys were still in the ignition, then the slam of the door closing and voices.
The voice sounded rough, cold. Neal didn't recognize it but it scared him, its roughness making him think something bad was going to happen. He was still too drunk to really respond, his hand reaching blindly for the door latch but only locking himself in as he heard the quiet click.
Who are you?
Neal heard Peter ask the voice, the agent's tone suspicious with just a hint of fear. The other voice chuckled lightly.
Neal heard the voice hiss, the sounds of a quiet struggle as a car drove up and he heard something blunt hit something hard. He heard a soft dragging sound and then the car took off before there was silence once more. He was fighting to wake but he was too drunk to do more than slump further against the door, passing into unconsciousness.
He woke up with a start, looking around the strange bedroom before he realized where he was. Neal sat up, pulling the covers aside and standing up. The dream was still vivid in his mind but his temples were throbbing from the bender he'd had the night before. He pulled his pants on, staggering over to where his shirt hung over a chair and pulled it over his tee, tucking it in before slipping on his shoes and exiting the bedroom.
The smell of something delicious wafted up from below, Neal taking a moment to enter the bathroom to wash up before he made his way down the stairs. He heard voices speaking in the kitchen, pushing the door open.
"Hello sleepy head. We were going to let you sleep in." It was June speaking, El by the stove flipping what looked like sausage and pancakes. He smiled, walking over to hug her and El gently before sitting down.
"I can't stay long. Hughes wanted me to go in." He left it at that, not telling either of what he had seen and trying to forget it. El looked back at him, blue eyes knowing but not asking what he knew she wanted to. Why had he told her what Hughes said? He put up his facade of charm reluctantly, El moving over to put a plate of food on the table before him. He picked at it like a child, his hunger having evaporated from guilt at not being able to talk to El about Peter and his worries about where the agent might be. June seemed to notice but kept it to herself.
Neal stood after a few minutes, the discomfort overwhelming. He gave both women a light hug, kissing El on the cheek with a meaningful look. He was going to find out what happened to Peter if not for himself than for El.
Neal stepped out of the cab into the early morning sunshine. He looked up at the shiny building that housed the FBI and took in a deep breath. He had stopped briefly by June's to wash up and change clothes before coming to his place of work. Who would have ever thought he'd have a real job and one he felt like going to? He had friends here and people who looked forward to seeing him, like Peter.
He sighed, a pain in his chest as if someone had hit him. He was thinking about the dream. Who was the man that had been speaking to Peter? The voice wasn't one he knew but if he heard it again, he'd recognize it. He tried to remember anything else but he was still feeling a wee bit hung over despite all his best efforts. It would have been nice to sleep in for once but in this case he had to think of someone other than himself. Peter's life was at stake, if the agent was still alive.
Neal glanced in the lobby windows, put on his best smile and strolled in like he owned the place. He saw a few women in the lobby give him a second glance or three as he pushed the elevator for his floor. Once the elevator doors shut he turned it off and let his real feelings show. He glanced at his face in the shiny metal interior and saw a deep frown form on his lips and the look of a man who was afraid. He knew if anything happened to Peter he was back in prison but not only that, they were friends. They watched out for one another and... as hard as it as to admit, Neal liked the guy. He liked El. They were like family to him. He hated to see that look on El's face like she would never see her husband again. It broke his heart.
The young man wiped at his eyes, straightened his tie and put on a more suitable look if only for the outside world. He wasn't feeling very charming or confident, in fact he was feeling almost responsible for the disappearance of his friend. Had Peter not been out at night dragging his drunken butt out of a bar, he'd be here now. The agent would be teasing him about how he looked like a cartoon with that silly fedora on his head and that skinny European tie around his neck.
"I'm sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry." Neal whispered it to the air, wiping the sadness from his face and putting on his facade. The elevator doors opened and he stepped out into the lobby of the FBI. He pulled the glass doors to the offices and walked in, waving at Jones who pointed up towards Hughes' office. Neal nodded with a smile he didn't feel, Jones looking like he knew it was all show for the others.
Neal took the few stairs up to Hughes' office two at a time, pausing briefly as he passed the empty office of his partner. He glanced into the darkened room a moment before taking in a deep breath and walking past to Hughes'.
"Caffrey, glad you could come. This is Agent Denkins? He's going to be a witness while you give your statement." Hughes was smiling professionally, motioning him to sit down. Neal felt a nervousness come over him which Hughes must have sensed.
"You're not in trouble and you aren't a suspect. We just need to hear what you recall happening the night of Peter's disappearance." Hughes made a motion, Agent Denkins pushing play on the recorder on the desktop.
Neal nodded, feeling his throat grow dry and taking a glass and pouring water into it. He took a sip and then put it down, looking between the two agents before he spoke.
"It's all a bit hazy. I don't even really recall why I was out. I must have called Peter and I vaguely remember him showing up at the bar I was at. I looked through my pockets today and I think I was at the Nagani. I had a receipt from there in my wallet." He paused, taking another sip before continuing.
"I don't even remember 'seeing' Peter but I just knew he was there leading me to the car and talking to me. I was pretty drunk." He looked embarrassed as he noticed the other agent sizing him up by what he said. It made him self-conscious since this wasn't his normal behavior. It had been a particularly bad night, and he'd been thinking about Kate.
"I know he was driving, I remember feeling and hearing the car move but I passed out a few times always waking up to hear him talking to me, nudging me a bit but I was too far gone. Finally he stopped the car and tried to get me up but I was too drunk to respond. I heard him shut off the engine, open and close the door and... I think I may have heard him talking to someone but I can't be certain." Neal kept trying to remember the nightmare he'd had. What had the voice sounded like or the sound of the other car. He saw Hughes looking curiously at him.
"Caffrey, this other person, can you recall the voice you heard?"
Neal looked up at the older agent shaking his head with an apologetic expression. He wanted to remember but his mind was still muddled from the alcohol. Neal felt a kind of anger at himself for not being there, not realizing he was grinding his teeth till he felt a hand on his, and heard the tape recorder turned off.
"It's ok Neal. We have what we need for now. If you remember anything else, let me know." Hughes was excusing him. Neal stood up with a nod to both men as he exited the office. He was just closing the door when he heard the other agent.
"Are you sure you trust him. He's an ex-con. Maybe he set this whole thing up."
Neal felt a coldness sweep over him. How could anyone who knew anything about his friendship with Peter accuse him of hurting his partner? He felt his face burning with anger.
"I didn't ask you for your personal opinion on this case, agent. Caffrey would never harm Burke. You'd know that if you were here to witness their interactions. Now, if you're done taking the statement, I'd like to get back to searching for my agent." Hughes had stood up for him, a warmth like sunlight after a heavy storm filling the young man. It lasted till he paused at Peter's empty office and opened the door, stepping inside. It felt so empty without his partner there. He dropped into the seat by the door and could almost hear Peter yelling at him about taking his feet off the desk.
"I'm sorry Peter. I won't do it again." He whispered, laying his head upon his arms as he leaned against the desktop. He felt tired, a deep exhaustion that ate at his soul. He had been missing Kate, almost a year having gone by since her death. Now... Peter was missing. He couldn't deal with another death. Not this soon... not someone this close to him. Neal felt a warmth around his eyes, something wet dripping onto his wrist.
"Hey, Neal. What are you doing in here?"
Neal looked up, wiping at his eyes quickly. Jones stood there, a gentle hand on his shoulder. He stood up and nodded.
"Sorry, I was just thinking." He saw the agent nod at him, his eyes a bit shiny as well.
"Well Hughes said you can go home. If we need you for a case, well call you but for now you're on leave. I'll let you know if we find out anything." He patted the CI on the arm, Neal nodding back.
"Thanks. Let me know if I can help."
Neal stepped out of the FBI building onto the street. He saw the afternoon bustle of people acting as if the world were turning like it should. It felt empty to him as he walked down the street and held up his hand to hail a cab. One finally stopped and he gave them June's address, not feeling like being around anyone at the moment. He didn't want to see that look on El's face unless he could fix it and for the time being, he needed to think.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he lifted it to his ear without looking.
"Mozz, this isn't really a good time." His voice was filled with anger. His tone curt.
"Neal..." The voice was soft but there was a hint of desperation to it. His eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat.
"Neal... help..." The voice was familiar, raspy and weak. Neal felt a tightness in his chest as he spoke into the cell finally.
"Who is this?" He didn't want to assume anything till he knew what he heard was true. There was silence and then the voice spoke again but this time it sounded so much weaker.
"Hel...p..." He heard a sound like someone had dropped a receiver on a phone and then a loud thud and voices.
"Hang it up before it's traced... hurry!" A voice hissed and then the line went dead. Neal just sat there in the cab staring blankly ahead before he could finally react.
"Peter? Peter!" He screamed into his cell but the line had already been killed. Neal pulled the cell from his ear and checked the listing. It was an unknown number. He dialed another number and waited impatiently.
"Whatever you're selling, I don't want any..." Mozzie was trying to be funny but he wasn't in the mood.
"Mozz, no time for jokes. Peter just called me. I need you to meet me at June's now!" His tone held no room for his friend to refuse. He heard a cough on the other side.
"He called? Where is he? Have you told the other suits yet?" Mozzie actually sounded concerned.
"No, I only just got the call but it said 'unknown number' and someone was on the other side to hang it up. I think he got away if only for a few minutes. Just meet me at June's. I can't talk here."