Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, not yet anyway. And I know that Arceus + the other legends don't live in a big House together. Enjoy the GodModeShipping, Kyogre/Groudon, Cresselia/Darkrai, and other legendary Pokemon ships.
"Ugh…what in Arceus's name did I do last night?" Darkrai said, rubbing the back of his head with a black clawed hand. He floated into the bathroom, splashed ice-cold water on his face and yawned. At this moment Celebi flew in and said, "Darkrai. Arceus has called a meeting."
"Tell Arceus that she can kiss my big black a-"
He stopped when he saw the fairy Pokemon's glare. Jeez, despite her size Celebi could be scarier than Cress, and that was scary. Darkrai followed the forest guardian out, grumbling about skinning kittens and kicking puppies.
After me the Regis were the second and yet another failed attempt at conversation, which went like this…
"So, how are you three doing?"
"Um, how's the weather in Hoenn?"
"Beep. Beep. Bop."
…Okay. I floated back over to Darkrai, who pretty much glared at me until Arceus arrived, late as usual (She argued that even though she was a god, she couldn't be perfect all the time), one lock of white hair obscuring a cyan eye.
"For someone who knows fourteen languages, you are hopeless." Mew said, floating over to me with a sheepish grin on his furry, pink face.
"Baka." I shot back.
"Whatever." The pink cat-like Pokemon shrugged.
"And don't even think about hurting me because Arceus no causing harm to others at a meeting. Especially a very special one held by Heatran." That caught my attention. "A very Special Meeting." he added.
"Really? How so?"
Mew started to say something, but was cut of by a white flash of light. The light faded revealing Heatran and Arceus. "Welcome all." the goddess said, listening to the assorted beeps and hellos she got from the group of legendaries standing before her. "I have called this meeting because I have had an excellent idea. One that will involve each of you."
"Really? I was wondering why we had to get outta bed so damned early." I heard Darkrai growl next to me. I was also tired, like him, and thought that this would probably be another Meeting on human attempts for world domination. But none of us were exactly prepared for what Arceus said next:
"I have decided that we go to a place where humans call high school. Heatran, Regigigas, Mewtwo, Deoxys, and Rotom will stay here to keep the world in balance in our absence."
"WHAT?" About half of the legendaries shrieked at the same time while the other half stared in open-mouthed confusion, wondering if the Goddess of all Pokemon had gone insane or was just kidding around. Kyogre, who was whacking her Ground-type counterpart over the head with a column with her psychic energy, dropped the column on Groudon's head.
"Does that mean…we'll have to be," Darkrai said, then visibly shuddered, "Humans…?"
The Goddess nodded, "I have always wanted to study humans and their cultures, so Heatran told me of a wonderful place where adult humans send their offspring to get something called an education. Isn't that intriguing?"
"So why are we involved? Can we stay here?" Giratina asked, the fierce-looking dragon looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else. I so related.
"Sorry, Giratina," the Goddess's body started to glow brilliant gold, "But as of now, my minds made up. Starting now, we will all go to the human world…and go to a human school!"
I felt my body start tingling…then all went black.
"Cresselia? Cresselia? Damn it. Wake up before I give you the worst nightmare possible." A rough voice jolted me from sleep. Not to mention the fact that Darkrai was shaking me awake.
I opened my eyes…and stared at the sour-faced, white-haired boy sitting before me. His hair was long and white, kept in a low ponytail, one lock of white hair obscuring a cold cyan eye, whilst the visible one just glared out into space. He wore a tattered red scarf over a frayed turtleneck sweater, black jeans, and black combat boots with silver buckles.
Darkrai gave a huff, "Like what you see?"
It all came back to me. The Goddess glowing, the tingling…oh boy. I looked at him, "She wasn't kidding. This is so screwed up." I looked around at the other legends who where just starting to wake up. As per usual, and acting as they weren't both humans now, Kyogre and Groudon, turned to face each other and yelled, "This is all your fault!"
They started to fight until Rayquaza intervened, annoyed at his counterparts, his voice deathly quiet. "Shut up now or I will disembowel both of you while you're still alive." Kyogre stopped smashing her counterpart on the head, walking over to find Lugia, leaving Groudon to curse and hiss behind her.
Meanwhile, Giratina and Arceus were talking. Giratina looked like he wanted to murder something. His deep plum hair was disheveled as if disbelieving hands had been run through it. His carmine eyes glared at her, but Arceus didn't look at all intimidated. He wore a yellow vest that had black straps and red buckles on it over a red and black striped T-shirt, grey jeans, and red sneakers. Around his neck he wore a choker that had a emblem shaped like his head crest.
Arceus had changed into a woman with white hair that had painted black streaks in it and sea green eyes with faintly reddish pupils. Her outfit resembled a cross of a sweatshirt and a gymnastics leotard that had a white hood, black chest to crotch, a gold belt with a green gem in it, and white boots with gold heels. Her sea-green eyes glared just as harshly back.
Mew, on the other hand was dancing around Celebi in happy little circles. The fairy-turned-human looked as if she wanted to kill Mew, but was restraining herself with much difficulty. The former fairy had been transformed into a short girl with heavily mascara-lashed blue eyes and short, green hair with blue and darker green streaks. She wore a light green T-shirt with blue, shimmery sleeves, dark green jeans, and lighter-green sneakers .
"Mew, you do realize that you have pink hair, right?"
Mew ran a hand through his hair. So he did. "So?"
Mew had been transformed into a teenage boy with light pink hair and large baby blue eyes. He wore a pink T-shirt over lighter pink jeans, and pink sneakers. He grinned happily at Celebi.
I walked with some difficulty (Because I had always floated…How the hell do humans walk on two legs all the time?) over to the fountains of water that Arceus had displayed in the Hall. I looked at my reflection. I was a girl with a cool magenta eyes, blonde hair that was kinda spiky with a dyed-pink spot in it, my wings had been turned into pink cuffs that wrapped around my wrists and joined to the back of my blue and gold dress, and I wore gold and blue boots.
"Dude!" I heard Mew yell and saw him over by the Regi trio. He was up in Registeel's face and the former Steel-type looked like she was going to smack him. Regirock and Regice were holding her back with much difficulty, mumbling calming beeps. (At least I think they were supposed to be calming, but who could tell?)
"I always wanted to see what genders they were!"
That did it. All three Regis set upon Mew, beeping at him in what sounded vaguely to me like curse words (again, debatable). I sighed, wondering if we should get Mew tested now that he was human. Every other legendary knew the Regis' genders, (Registeel was female, the other two were both guys) all except Mew.
I looked over a Giratina who seemed unaware at the chaos around him, until I saw one of his cold carmine eyes twitch. Since the Goddess wouldn't let him kill any of them, he screamed at the bickering Legends instead.
"STOP IT RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL!"
Every legendary stopped what the were doing and turned to look at the death dragon, who looked at his feet and snarled, "You're acting like a bunch of babies. We're thousands of millennia old, but we can't stop arguing? It's just school! Shaymin, Manaphy, and Phione are the youngest and they're acting more mature than you!"
"Now that was uncalled for." Mew said, looking at Giratina. In a flash, the former death dragon had grabbed Mew by the ankle and had him lifted up in the air. "Shut. Up." He dropped Mew headfirst on the floor.
By then Arceus had called and was making arrangements for all thirty-one legendaries to be enrolled at the school.
First Day of School!
Arceus stood at the entrance to the stately white building that stood before the group of legendaries. It had two stories, one which the elementary school students (Manaphy, Phione, Shaymin, and Jirachi) and the middle school students (Mew, Articuno, Raikou, Darkrai, Cresselia, Regirock, Regice, Registeel., Mesprit, Azelf, and Uxie). The second story was reserved for the high school students (Celebi, Dialga, Palkia, Arceus, me, Rayquaza, Groudon, Kyogre, Latias, Latios, Lugia, Ho-oh, Entei, Suicune, Zapdos, and Moltres).
Arceus was going over the rules, the usual 'don't use your powers, don't kill anybody Giratina, Mew and Azelf don't blow anything up or I will kill you, Uxie don't wipe anyone's memory' blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda… I was getting more and more bored by the second.
In the back of my mind I wondered how Heatran and the others were doing back home.
"Dude, wake up!" Heatran pushed a heavy metal paw against the Colossal Pokemon's head. Regigigas flashed all seven of his black eyes and groaned drowsily, "Go away, Heatran."
"Dude! This is the first time that Arceus has left the hall in a millennium and you're still asleep!" the lava toad said in disbelief, then she smiled, and grabbed a vial of blue liquid from around her neck, smiling evilly. Regigigas sweatdropped.
"Um, how am I supposed to stay awake if you kill me?" the leader of the Regis asked, backing away slowly. "This isn't poison, my friend. It is my special formula that I got from Mewtwo. It's like drinking a thousand gallons of caffeine in one drop!" She waved the vial of liquid in front of Regigigas' face. "Drink it."
"No. You're crazy, lady."
"I'm the one Arceus left in charge! Now drink the damn vial!"
"No!" Regigigas turned around and started to run, but Heatran leaped onto his back, sending him to the floor. She force-fed him the whole vial, then leapt off of him.
"What's gonna happen now?" Rotom asked
Back at the school…
On second thought, I didn't want to know…
"Giratina! Hey snap out of it!" I snapped back into reality, and realized that Arceus was in font of me, waving her palm in front of my face. I grabbed her hand and pushed it away from my face. "What, Arceus?" I snapped.
"We're going to be late. We have our first period together." she said, dragging my into the school building and into a classroom.
"HiHiHi! I'm Regigigas!"
Mewtwo turned around from his experiment, giving Regigigas a strange look. "Greetings, Regigigas. We all know who you are…"
"Don't bother." Deoxys said, shooting Heatran a dirty look. "He's too sugar high. He can't understand a word you're saying to him." As soon as Deoxys said those words, Regigigas picked them both up, trapping them in a death hug, "I luvz youse guyz!"
Deoxys slugged him, making the huge legendary topple over. "Ugh…Arceus…" Mewtwo spat, "I think my ribs are broken."
Regigigas made a whimpering sound and Mewtwo looked up. The Normal-Type Pokemon, the leader of the Regis, then burst into tears, and shouted, "Waaahhh! You meanies! Wwwwwwaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"
Then he spun around and tore from the room, racing up the stairs.
The four legendaries heard a crunching sound from upstairs. They looked at each other.
The lava toad was the one who broke the silence. "Oh, hell." Heatran spat, and the four legendary Pokemon raced upstairs.
"And what's your name, son?" the teacher asked me as soon as I got in the class. Arceus had been asked the same question, which she had identified herself as, "Arlene." I thought about it for a second before I answered, "Adrian."
"Okay, Mr. Adrian." the teacher, Mr. Oran, according to his name tag, said, "Take the empty seat over there. You'll find a textbook under your desk. We're working on page three-hundred, sixty-four."
I walked over to my desk, dropped my new, black backpack (Thank, God! Arceus didn't get me a pink one!), opened my textbook, and got to work like a busy little student bee.
Idiots, Schedules, and Middle School
Mew and Azelf ,who were as usual conspiring to blow something up, were not paying any attention to a certain dark who was standing within earshot range, hell, they weren't paying any attention to Darkrai at all, until he sauntered over, held out his hand, and said quietly, "Your backpacks."
Azelf, being the smarter of the two turned around, showing off his new treasure, said, "You like it, Darkrai? Arceus got it for me." Darkrai, not taking the bait, rolled his huge cyan eyes, and said, "That isn't what I meant. Hand it over, now." Azelf and Mew turned tail to run, but were grabbed by Darkrai, who emptied their backpacks.
"You two…are so dead." He held a mix of various stink bomb parts in his hands. "I'm confiscating these." Mew puffed up his cheeks, "Awwww, Darkrai! It's just a stink bomb! Quit being so mean!" Then Mew batted his big, blue eyes, "Please?" he whined.
"No. Arceus would kill me. Now let's go get our schedules," he turned to me, "Coming, Cresselia?" I nodded, the followed Darkrai and the assortment of other legendaries down the hallway.
"Whoa!" Mesprit said, turning to look at her friend Uxie. "It's a zoo in here, Uxie! I've never seen so many humans in one place before.
"Yeah. It's kind of unnerving." Darkrai said. He was right, unusually tense. I felt the same way.
"Hi! I'm Alice! Nice to meet you!" I heard a perky voice say. "Are you all new here?" Darkrai stepped out in front and I could tell she was ogling him. Poor girl. She was probably going to get a tongue-lashing or something…
"Yeah, just moved here from…Kanto. We all just moved here from, uh, Kanto." Darkrai said. He pushed me in front of him and whispered, "Say something, Cresselia." I sighed. "So can you show us where to get the schedules?"
"Sure! It's right this way."