THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR OTAKU AUDIENCES ONLY
(Open with various internal shots of the Great Library, spotlighting shelves filled with books, and the standard debris floating lazily in the central atrium. Over the sound of the background music is a voice humming tunefully.)
MUSIC: "Toshokan" (Library Theme from Yamibou)
VOICEOVER: Far from the world we know, there is a Library. Each book, an infinite world.
(Start zooming in on a distant figure kneeling at one of the low shelves, sorting books. She is the source of the humming.)
VOICEOVER: Since the dawn of creation, the Keepers have watched over us, and kept our worlds safe from the forces that would destroy them.
(Continue zooming in, picking up speed, until the Keeper, EVE, looks over her shoulder (toward camera) and shrieks.)
VOICEOVER: Until now.
(Top view of the second keeper, LILITH, pacing near the site of the abduction. Another young woman, this one dressed in sailor fuku, kneels at the spot, where a few books lie scattered. Gradual swoop in toward the second woman, ending up beside her for her second line.)
LILITH: Thank goodness you were able to come so quickly. I didn't know where else to turn. If we don't submit to their demands, they'll kill her!
HAZUKI: What are they demanding?
LILITH: Full control of the library. They'll invade every world with their wicked Space Ninjas!
HAZUKI: (looking up dramatically) I think we're going to need help.
(Switch to a scene in a small early 20th century cafe, where HAZUKI and LILITH sit opposite YOUKO, the latter currently wearing the trenchcoat she uses for disguise. The air is thick with smoke in spite of the fact that no one actually appears to have a cigarette.)
VOICEOVER: To save her sister, Hazuki will need to retrace her steps through the worlds she once walked.
HAZUKI: I need you, Youko. You have skills that will be vital for our mission.
YOUKO: Which? My martial arts, my marksmanship, or my ability to cross-dress in spite of my double-D breasts?
HAZUKI: Those'll do for starters.
LILITH: (drooling) Mmmm, double-deeeeeee...
(Switch to a tropical island, where HAZUKI and LILITH walk to either side of young MILKA, who is riding on the back of her white tiger RASCALAS, while YOUKO follows behind.)
MILKA: Do you really need my help fighting bad guys? I'm not very strong.
HAZUKI: No, but you do meet a certain requirement for an ensemble cast of this nature.
MILKA: Oh, okay. (brightly) Do I get to have another bath with Lilith sometime?
LILITH: (marking in a notebook) Okay, "Creepily precocious bi-curious youngster," check!
(Switch to a Japanese school for girls, with various and sundry lolicons in pink and tan checkered uniforms traipsing happily about.)
MUSIC: Eurythmics - "Sisters (are Doin' It For Themselves)"
VOICEOVER: As well as worlds new to her. From the academies of Astraea Hill...
HAZUKI: St. Lulim's School for Girls.
YOUKO: I thought it was Le Rim?
HAZUKI: They had to change it. Too many inappropriate jokes.
LILITH: (chokes on own tongue)
CHIKARU: (emerging from crowd) Hey, you look familiar! Did we meet in a fanfic?
HAZUKI: (pointing dramatically) Chikaru! I choose you!
MUSIC: (cuts out with a needle-over-vinyl sound)
CHIKARU: (sourly) And how long has the author been waiting to use that line, hmm?
(Switch to a different Japanese school for girls, then cut to the group thus far sitting at a table with CHIKANE and HIMEKO.)
VOICEOVER: ...to the Academy of Ototachibana.
HAZUKI: Keep in mind that this is a dangerous mission, and the fate of the universe is at stake. Also, we can only take one of you from this world.
CHIKANE: I understand. And I'm ready.
HAZUKI: Yes, well, after thinking things over carefully, we're actually going to take Himeko with us.
HIMEKO: But- But why me? Chikane's such a better warrior than I, and she's so perfect in every way... (eyes glaze) Her skin is as white as snow, and her breasts are so full and beautiful... even a girl like me gets wrapped up in her beauty...
HAZUKI: That's as may be, but there's a problem. See, we already have a Chikaru on the team, and we don't want to confuse things.
CHIKANE: But... but...!
CHIKARU: Sorry, but I was here first.
HAZUKI: (looks at CHIKANE) Besides, there's also the fact that you look exactly... like... me.
HIMEKO: (looks back and forth between CHIKANE and HAZUKI) Oh! You're right! But what does that mean? (eyes glaze) That must mean that Hazuki's skin is also as white as snow, and her breasts are also so full and beautiful, and... Does this make me weird?
YOUKO: Not in this genre, sweetheart.
CHIKANE: (arms folded) I'm so going evil on you when you get back.
MILKA: (looking out the window) Why do you have giant robots in your yuri series?
(Cut to an overhead view of an airbase on the planet Daikuriku, then to the group standing at the base of an oddly shaped two-seat craft.)
VOICEOVER: From a futuristic world at war...
LILITH: Ooh! Hazuki, to get these Simoun ships to run you have to perform a ritual in which two girls kiss! Pucker up, co-pilot!
HAZUKI: Er- I was going to ask Chikaru to be my co-pilot, though.
CHIKARU: Is this the wrong time to mention that I'm straight?
(Everyone looks at Chikaru, jaws dropped.)
HIMEKO: You're what?
CHIKARU: It's true. I'm the straightest girl on Astraea Hill.
HAZUKI: Oh, is that all? You had me worried. (kisses her anyway)
(Cut to the green paradise of second-century China, where the team faces off with the main cast of Koihime Musou.)
VOICEOVER: ...to an ancient world, er, at war.
KAN'U: Very well, we'll join you on your quest to save the world.
HAZUKI: Thank you, Kan'u, but we can only take one, and there's a certain... requirement. Lilith?
(LILITH, with her back to the camera, approaches the line of warrior women and whips her shirt open. KAN'U looks shocked and embarrassed, CHOUHI seems confused, BACHOU blushes beet-red, KOUCHUU blinks, then looks down at herself and smiles, KOUMEI's eyes bug and she says "Hawawa" several times, and CHOU'UN narrows her eyes and smiles with obvious interest)
LILITH: (grabs CHOU'UN) This one. Let's go!
(Cut to a moonlit desert, and a tender moment between MARIA and CANAAN.)
VOICEOVER: Whatever it takes to save Creation.
MARIA: (takes CANAAN's hand) I just want you by my side. Just being by my side will be a great, great help. Someday I want to be able to shine all by myself, so... please don't leave me. Just stay by my side.
LILITH: (echoing the thoughts of many otaku) Oh, just kiss her already!
(MARIA and CANAAN look around to find themselves surrounded. HAZUKI steps in and takes CANAAN by the shoulder.)
CANAAN: What's going on?
HAZUKI: (to MARIA) Don't worry, we'll bring her right back.
(Cut to the obligatory team shot, where the eight women, shoulder to shoulder, walk in slow-motion toward the camera, looking extremely bad-ass. Left to right we have CANAAN (gun drawn), HIMEKO (eyes wide), MILKA (riding RASCALAS) LILITH (smirking), HAZUKI (sword at the ready), CHIKARU (giving a Carmen smile), CHOU'UN (spear over shoulder), and YOUKO (gun drawn to mirror CANAAN).)
MUSIC: Some appropriate thud-rock, heavy on the bass
VOICEOVER: Because when everything is at stake... the best man for the job...
(Switch to the obligatory split-screen, each of the eight "compartments" focused on one of their faces.)
VOICEOVER: ...isn't a man at all.
(Obligatory team action pose.)
ALL: YURI FORCE, GO!
MUSIC: Some of that techno battle music that the kids seem to like
(A series of cuts from several battle scenes, showing the girls in action. MILKA, grinning like a kid playing her favorite game, rides RASCALAS into a crowd of ninjas and urges him to swipe them down with his mighty paws. HIMEKO, the Solar Priestess emblem on her chest glowing, stands in a praying pose, then a wave of flame erupts from her and burns several more ninjas to ashes. CHIKARU removes her red hair-clips and flings them like throwing stars, gutting several enemies before they spin back into her hands. LILITH reveals a previously unknown flair for the martial arts, delivering a series of high kicks to her foes, yet due to conveniently placed ninja limbs, rays of light and other obstructions, you never quite manage to see up her ridiculously short skirt. Don't worry, there will probably be a DVD release.)
VOICEOVER AND FULL-SCREEN TEXT: No men?
(More battle scenes. CANAAN, her eyes glowing red, is standing back-to-back with YOUKO, who somehow has managed to lose her top again, probably due to the Laws of Thermodynamic Fanservice, so she can only fire her gun with one hand while she keeps herself covered. The ninjas die anyway. Lastly, we cut to the obligatory battle royale in the middle of a cherry grove in full bloom, where HAZUKI and CHOU'UN are performing MATRIX-like moves with sword and spear while sakura petals flutter through the air in slow motion all around them.)
VOICEOVER AND FULL-SCREEN TEXT: No problem.
MUSIC: Cuts out ominously after a crescendo on the drums
(Blackout, then fade in to the throne room of the Space Ninja leader. He is built along the lines of Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime, and wears a bondage-gear outfit with so many spikes, blades and impractical pads that it's a wonder he can even move. EVE is chained to the base of his throne.)
NINJA LEADER: (bellowing) FACE ME, THEN! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, WOMEN!
(Zoom in on EVE, who raises her face to the camera, revealing a smirk.)
EVE: Oh, you will be.
(Blackout, followed by title logo.)
VOICEOVER: Yuri Force.
(Final shot of HAZUKI, standing in the midst of burning carnage, sailor fuku torn in strategic places, hair billowing around her from a dramatic wind, looking like she is not kidding around. She draws her katana, and it makes a much louder noise than one might normally expect.)
VOICEOVER: It's Ladies Night.
(Blackout and credits.)
STUDIO SUZUME presents - a YAMIYURI production - an OLIVER TAKU film - MAMIKO NOTO - SANAE KOBAYASHI - "YURI FORCE" - MIYU MATSUKI - SAYAKA OHARA - SAKI NAKAJIMA - EMI MOTOI - NORIKO SHITAYA - MIYUKI SAWASHIRO - JUN FUKUYAMA - and AI SHIMIZU as EVE - music by DEATH DEVIL - soundtrack available on K-ON RECORDS - executive producer GONNA B. SUED - read the light novelization by C POLLARD and R FLETCHER - directed by OLIVER TAKU
COMING TO A TORRENT NEAR YOU