AN:Here is a very much rewritten Chapter 1 of Trying For Baby. If you read the story before, you may notice that I have changed the amount of time that Bella has been pregnant for. It's all to add for realistic-ity to the story.
I sat on the cold tile floor of my bathroom, a white piece of plastic gripped in both my hands. I held it gingerly, as if it were fragile enough to be broken at the slightest rough touch from my fingers."Pleasebepositive,pleasebepositive," I thought to myself. Pregnancy test in hand, I continued my silent chant as I waited for the results to form. When the five minutes were up I looked down at the test and read the two most heart-breaking words imaginable.
I screamed in absolute frustration and despair and threw the terrible, offensive little stick across the room, and immediately started to cry. Loud sobs broke through my chest, and I crumpled on the floor, oblivious to the cool tan tile pressed against my heated cheek. It wasn't as much that I wasn't pregnant, it was because this was the fifth time I'd read such wounding words. That's when Edward started to pound on the door, obviously having heard my loud cries of distress from across our home.
"What's wrong Bella?" he asked me, the concern evident in his usual strong, silky voice, "Can I please come in love?" I could hear his hand starting to turn the doorknob.
"Mhmm", was all I could manage as I continued to bawl.
As soon as he opened the door and saw me he picked me up and held me to his chest, wrapping his strong muscled arms around my quaking body, "What's wrong baby? Are you hurt? Tell me Bella, you're making me crazy!" He said into my hair.
I took my face off of his chest and stared across the bathroom and the little stick lying on the floor. Edward's eyes followed my gaze and fell upon the stick as well. As soon as he saw it his expression changed. He knew exactly why I was crying and I could tell he was just as disappointed as I was. He pulled my face to his and kissed me tenderly, his way of reassuring me. Then he held me as I continued to cry again, my salty tears soaking into the fabric of his favourite shirt. I'm not sure how long we sat like that, it could have been hours, but we didn't care. We just needed each other's comfort at this sad time.
When we finally decided it was time to move, Edward slowly pulled my face from his shirt, cupping my flushed cheeks with his hands gently. His thumb brushed over my chapped lips, and his lips pressed gently to my forehead. I brought my own hand up to rub away the salty tracks on my cheeks and tried to give him a small smile.
"I love you Edward..." I whispered before I de-tangled my legs from his and stood up. He followed me to his feet a moment later, and laced his fingers with mine before leading me out of the bathroom, the negative pregnancy test still laying dejectedly next to the porcelain bathtub. I never looked back at it. Later, I realised Edward had gone back and disposed of it, he was a sweety like that. But as we laid in bed that night, Edward already sleeping besides me, my hands strayed to my belly. My fingers caressed the skin softly as I let my mind dole into what happened earlier.
The mere act of Edward throwing away the hated pregnancy test, was like having a funeral for another baby that I'd never bear. It broke my heart and caused more moisture to track down my cheeks silently. Before I could let myself groan with frustration, I quickly turned over into Edwards arms, and they tightened around me instantly. My face was buried into his chest again as I closed my eyes and begged sleep to take me into unconsciousness where I couldn't think about my failure.
Edward and I have been married for over four and a half years now, and we desperately want a baby. Something to call our own, ours, together and signify the that we were one in of our union. Plus I've just wanted a baby for so long, something to bring forth from my body with someone I love. Edward and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past two years, but we haven't had any luck. We were going to keep trying, but who knows what the future holds?