Sorry for the long delay, and for the short chapter you're about to receive. I hope you all still like my story, and thanks for reading :D

Disclaimer: I STILL don't own anything, as much as I want to...but I am currently working on that! *hyper grin*

Enjoy the story...

(If I ever say Pete is giving one of the kids 'a look'...it's this one: ./multimedia/archive/01020/SNF0802TVCC-280_)

"Dad, why are we sitting on an open-topped bus in the freezing cold and the pouring rain?" glared Jake, pulling his grey Nike hoodie tighter around his body.

"Because playing Spot-The-Chav is more fun when you're on an open topped bus!" replied Karen brightly, bouncing up and down in her seat and still managing to peer over the side without falling off the bus.

"TEN!" she shouted out immediately, causing Jake to roll his eyes dramatically skywards and to put his hands over his ears: Why oh why was he the one sitting next to Karen?

"Karen, I thought we told you to stop playing that game last time we were on a bus?" said her dad, giving her and Ben a look. Karen shrugged, and continued to bounce up and down.

"Yeah, well, we're playing Spot-The-Gay too!" said Ben obviously, as though that justified the game. He shook his head as though he thought his dad was being silly. Jake rolled his eyes.

"Ben! You can't tell if someone's gay just by looking at them!" sighed Pete, looking at his youngest son in exasperation. Jake was just happy that, because of the cold and rain, nobody else was sitting on an open-topped bus and getting soaked. Therefore, nobody else could hear his brother and sister and their slightly inappropriate and most likely politically incorrect comments.

"Well, you can...cuz see that guy!" said Ben, pointing to a guy walking in the street below. Karen leaned even further over the side of the bus, and Jake put his arms round her protectively; he didn't want her falling off the bus, no matter how much she was annoying him right now.

"Yes, what about that guy?" Jake asked, looking at Ben but still not removing his hands from Karen's waist. He couldn't look over at the guy, because he was worried about Karen falling.

"Well, he's obviously gay, because he's wearing a pink shirt and white shorts." Ben replied. Karen giggled and added "And dodgy sunglasses!" Jake put Karen down firmly on the seat, and looked over the side himself, and said to their dad "You know, dad, they've actually got a point."

"DA-AD! I need the toilet!" shouted Karen suddenly, pulling an agonised face. Pete closed his eyes in frustration. He remembered clearly the last time Karen needed the toilet, on the journey to Plymouth.

"Karen, I told you to go before we came." their dad sighed. Karen looked at her dad, as though he was being completely stupid.

"I didn't need it then!" she explained exasperatedly, as though she really shouldn't have to explain that sort of stuff to adults. No adult ever did understand those type of things.

"But you haven't drank anything since we got on the bus, so your bladder shouldn't have got any more full." replied Pete, trying not to lose patience with his daughter. But this wasn't an argument that Karen was going to lose.

"Yes, well, maybe the drink I drank earlier has gone through my disective system, and now I need a wee!" she retorted, crossing her arms defiantly across her chest and shaking her curls "AND NOW I NEED THE TOILET!" Karen exclaimed, in a particularly loud voice. Jake sighed: Did they have to talk about this in public? Oh well he thought At least there's nobody else on the bus...

"Your what system?" frowned Pete, trying to make sense of what Karen had just said.

"You know! The one that has the same name as those biscuits!" she replied, shrugging her shoulders "Your disestive system!"

"Dad, I think she means digestive system and does it really matter what it's called? We need to get her to a toilet." said Jake angrily in a biting tone. He was beginning to get really fed up of his family, and it was only day 1 of the holiday.

"Karen we're about 10 minutes away from the hotel." said Pete, trying to calm Karen down and trying to persuade her not to wet herself.

"Where have I heard that before?" muttered Jake under his breath, so that his dad wouldn't hear.

"YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME!" exclaimed Karen "And I can't hold it in very longer!"

"Ooh, SEAGULL ATTACK!" Ben, who had been very quiet up til now, grinned. Jake looked up at the sky, and sure enough, a large horde of seagulls were heading in their direction.

"Things are about to get messy." added Ben, in a terminator style voice. Jake rolled his eyes, but had a feeling that Ben could be right. Suddenly, the bus stopped and there was the sound of footsteps coming upstairs. Then, the bus driver appeared at the top of the stairs, looking quite annoyed.

"The passengers can hear you from downstairs. Please, sir, control your children." he said, in a strangulated voice, glaring lividly at Pete. If looks could kill, there was a pretty good chance that Pete would be lying dead on the floor at that moment.

"We gave up doing that a long time ago." sighed their dad, grabbing Ben's hand, and implying for Jake to do the same to Karen. They stood up. There was a loud squelching sound, and then silence, and the sound of Ben and Karen chuckling loudly.

"You got covered in bird..." sniggered Ben and Karen, but Jake and Pete had clapped their hands over the kids mouths before they could finish that sentence.

"OFF!" bellowed the bus driver. And never before in their lives had Jake and their dad ran so quickly to get off a bus, Ben and Karen in tow.

We had a...similar...experience on the open-topped bus...except ours involved a police officer, and not the bus driver...and drunk people...and a beer festival...and a car accident...okay, maybe it wasn't quite so similar :D

But there WAS bird mess involved! And an open-topped bus...and rain...oh, wait, the rain was a different open-topped bus experience! Maybe I'll write a story about that – it was fun XD

Anyway, new chapter coming up soon...and this time, I MEAN soon! Bye for now :D