Title: Kami no Shinobi
Author(s): Ra/Rael Orion
Summary: Starts at chapter 500. As Uchiha Madara prepares to unleash the Kyuubi, a surprising person makes his appearance. Saving Kushina and stopping the Kyuubi, this man needs not even make himself a legend. He already is. Rikudo Sennin fans welcome. Time travel. AU.
Main pairing(s): Naruto x Female Kyuubi, Minato x Kushina (Note that I wanted, at some point, to introduce Konan with Naruto and Kyuubi. What with all the stuff about the Rinnegan. However, there's still a while before that so I may change my mind.)
Warning(s): Time Travel. Alternative Universe. Spoilers. Questionable humor? Since it was mentioned, I guess godly!Naruto would also count.

Special warning: In this chapter may be something potentially offensive to Japanese culture. I'm not quite sure about it, even though I tried to search for the answer, but as far as I know, chopsticks are the main (read; only) utensil used in a more ancient Japan (a few centuries back, perhaps). Given that the technological level in the world of Naruto is rather messed up, which I aim to correct/explain here, I wanted to explain this to anyone thinking I tried to insult Japan in general. If I did, I really did not mean to.

§§§§§§§§§§ Chapter Three §§§§§§§§§§

A typical morning in the Namikaze household usually followed a similar schedule for everyday. Being the Kage of the village, Minato would wake up early, follow his personal hygiene routine and then eat a small breakfast. Following this, he would wake his sleeping wife and depart for the Hokage tower, leaving his spouse to a similar morning. The only exceptions to this would be weekends, which by the law were actually mandatory 'free days' for the village leader. The reasoning behind this being simply not to overcharge the leader and either incapacitate him via burnout or have him snap. On those weekends, his wife and he would take a while longer to get out of bed before having a rather large breakfast, sometimes in the company of friends or such. On some of those days, though, if the mood allowed, these two activities would be separated by a 'shower', in which both adults would step in the bathroom and carefully activate locking and soundproofing seals.

As such, that Sunday started very slowly. Both residents of the mansion had woken up slowly to the warmth of a human body and had cuddled closer. A comment from a third, familiar voice easily broke that morning's routine.

"Not that I'm against incest, but I'm pretty sure that you are." Two sets of eyes snapped open and two bodies stiffened instantly halfway before the sentence was finished. Minato, his frame bigger than the woman he currently had in his arms, instantly saw the twin ringed eyes of his supposed son, staring right back at him. It was only once he saw Kushina's head rise from behind Naruto and look at him that he understood the comment made by said supposed son. A look at the body he currently held against him revealed a pair of increasingly annoyed eyes, slowly but surely becoming more frightening by the second.

Two yelps of surprise ringed through the room as Kushina and Minato fell to the sides of the bed in an attempt to get away from the two still lying in it. Both rubbed the spot they had fallen on as they stood up. Then, they looked at the occupants of the bed, confusion and irritation etched on their faces. Kyuubi was hissing in pain, covering both her ears with her hands as Naruto looked at the two of them with his usual amusement. Moments later, once the red eyed woman had stopped covering her ears and let out a sigh of relief, Minato spoke before the other blond could even open his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" As he was asking, he noted in irritation that Naruto didn't seem to listen at all, instead choosing to make himself comfortable in the bed, his bed. He was about to repeat himself when Naruto spoke.

"I thought I told you yesterday." The answer was unfortunately just as Minato expected, uninformative. He looked sideways at Kushina who took the hint and spoke.

"What we meant to ask was what are you doing in our bed, in our room and in our house." Although the tone used pointed more at a statement than a question, Kushina's look clearly expressed she was waiting for an answer.

"We're family, so I figured I could call this place home and this is the only bed Kyuubi accepted to sleep on. Supposedly, the others are either too hard or too soft." At their disbelieving look, he put his hands up in defence. "Don't ask me, I don't have a clue, either." Then, as though having a second thought, he shrugged. "Actually, I do have a clue but I don't feel like telling you." Although the answer was somewhat expected, it didn't stop them from slapping their palms to their foreheads in consternation. Minato looked at Naruto with half opened eyes and spoke with sarcasm clear in his voice.

"Anything else I should know?"

"Your aquarium is empty," instantly replied Naruto. Minato and Kushina actually sighed in relief when nothing else came after the rather mundane statement. Then Minato began to cry pitifully, drawing curious looks from the other three.

Those fishes were worth a month's salary…

After Minato's odd outburst, Naruto finally decided to get out of bed and headed out the room, soon followed by Kyuubi, who glared at them while rubbing her ears, drawing sheepish looks from the adults. Once they were outside, the new parents sighed, already tired, and headed to the bathroom for quick showers. Fifteen minutes later, they came out of the room, refreshed, and proceeded to put on clothes. Spotting the empty crib, they immediately assumed their newborn son was with their… other son before heading toward the stairs. Halfway down, Minato and Kushina stopped as they heard a familiar comment coming from downstairs.

"I'm the Rikudo Sennin." Both adults sighed before another male voice spoke.

"Bullshit." Minato palmed his head, drawing a confused look from his wife.

"I invited Kakashi and Rin for breakfast," he explained. Kushina quickly adopted a look fitting the situation, consternation, before they walked down the stairs, oddly calm. When they got down, they finally saw the whole scene and Minato didn't fight the urge to rub his temples.

In the middle of the room stood the sennin, as laidback as he usually was. A few feet from the door was Kakashi, his posture tense and, Minato could tell, ready to remove his headband. What was the most unusual was to see Kyuubi and Rin to the side, looking on, amused and worried looks on their faces respectively as they stood next to each other. When Kakashi saw his sensei come down the stairs, things got a little tenser.

"Sensei." The 'greeting' alerted Rin and Kyuubi to his presence. Naruto merely turned his head toward him and smiled.

"Hey." The single word aggravated Minato, who was at a loss as to why. "Would you tell him to be more respectful? I was cooking something when he just enters the kitchen, looks at me and starts attacking me." If it wasn't for the fact that Minato could see that Kakashi's clothes had obvious signs of recent use, so to say high speed movements and attacks, he would be hard pressed to believe Naruto, whose cloak didn't seem the least bit wrinkled… Well, he couldn't really tell but he was sure it wouldn't have a single wrinkle if it was normal clothing. In truth, he didn't look as though he even moved at all and just floated above the ground.

Even then, I can almost believe he does float around. God I hate that cloak.

Coming back from his thoughts, Minato just shook his head and signalled for Kakashi to relax, which the teen did begrudgingly. Naruto eye-smiled and patted Kakashi's head. On reflex, the grey haired ninja immediately stabbed the man, who'd been at least twelve feet away last time he blinked. He leapt away in slight shock and blinked several times. Naruto frowned a bit before he disappeared, the kunai seemingly floating in the air for a second before falling to the floor. Unlike the two teens in the room, the three adults didn't even muster the energy to blink. Kyuubi shrugged, gathering attention to herself, before she turned around and headed to the kitchen. Curious, they followed her and entered the kitchen just in time to see her sit next to Naruto at the table, the sage eating toasts. She herself picked up some food and started to eat, showing exactly what they'd miss the night before when their attention had been on the baby at their table. As though on cue, their shocked, weirded out, slightly disgusted and morbidly fascinated expression were directed at the baby sitting on the baby chair next to Naruto. At his completely normal giggle, Kakashi shuddered violently as Rin rushed to his side and fawned over him. The parents in the room blinked then shrugged. Only then did they notice the incredible amount of food, as varied as the sandaime's technique repertoire, lying on the table, waiting to be eaten. All the official ninjas took a chair, as though transfixed on the normal and exotic looking meals on the table. Minato picked up a strange, forked little piece of metal to his eyes, inspecting it.

"This utensil is called a fork. It's useful to just pick up your food by stabbing it." The explanation came from the sennin, who demonstrated it by piercing a piece of egg from his plate and bringing it to his mouth. Minato frowned a bit before repeating the actions, a piece of curly looking meat as his target. Bringing it to his mouth, he took a bit of the crispy food and set the fork down in his plate, chewing it under the attention of his fellow ninjas. He swallowed it before humming a little in thought.

"It's not bad but a bit too greasy for my taste," he finally said. While Kushina took the fork to taste for herself, Naruto spoke.

"For me, too. Just thought you might be interested in it. It's called bacon." Rin and Kushina had similar reactions to Minato while Kakashi seemed to like the foreign taste. This got him and Kyuubi in a glaring contest when she swiped the next one from his hands, also enjoying it. The amusement of their small audience was lost on them. Naruto proceeded to drop a square, golden piece of bread on Minato's plate and poured a sticky, brownish liquid on it. "French toast. It's rather on the sweet side but if your tastes are anything like mine, you'll enjoy it."

The breakfast lasted for close to two hours as the individuals present around the tables became more and more comfortable with each other. The different new meals got several different reactions from each of them as Naruto explained some of their origins or his own thoughts on them. Once it was finished and everyone full and content, all the food poofed into smoke, leaving the Konoha residents suddenly wary.

"Please don't tell me all the food we just ate was sealed," muttered Minato. Naruto looked at him blankly.

"Is there a problem with that?" Minato groaned.

"There's a reason nobody ever seals food if someone else than them will eat it. The chakra of the one doing the seal pours into the food and when someone else eats it, the foreign chakra poisons theirs." Minato explained grumpily. Naruto kept staring.

"My seals don't."

"Oh really? How come you can defy the very laws of seals and chakra, then?" The question, soaked in sarcasm, left Kakashi's mouth before Minato could stop him. The answer was instant.

"I'm the Rikudo Sennin." Kakashi's reply was also instant.


Minato groaned.

"Kakashi, Rin, listen and listen well." His resigned tone of voice instantly grabbed his student's full attention. He looked at them both in the eyes. "He is the Rikudo Sennin. Whatever he says is most likely true. Whatever he does is most likely impossible to replicate. Trying to win either a battle or an argument against him is pointless." Minato's admission shocked them both. Kakashi was the first to regain his composure and swiftly tried to change the subject by point at Kyuubi, ignoring Rin's automatic response about 'pointing at people'.

"Then you're going to tell me she's your daughter from the future." Naruto snickered. Kyuubi snickered. Minato and Kushina… snickered. Kakashi's face started to go pale before Minato shook his head.

"No she's not." Kakashi sighed in relief. "She's the Kyuubi in human form." The male teen's eye snapped to his sensei, staring hard into his eyes, before turning to look at Kyuubi, who wore an amused grin on her face. He kept switching between the two before Minato decided to take pity on him. He pointed at Naruto. "He, on the other hand, is my son from the future." Okay, perhaps not quite. Rin copied Kakashi when the Sharingan user decided that his dreams were the best place to be at the moment. Everyone stared at their limp forms for a moment before Minato turned to Naruto, his face slightly surprised. "Making people faint is rather fun." Naruto eye-smiled at the man.

Following the two teens' loss of consciousness, the remaining people present decided to take them back to their home. Once that was done, and with approximately one hour before noon, it was decided that a walk around the village would be the best thing to do. This consisted solely of Naruto's opinion but neither of the women really minded and Minato just didn't have the energy to try to change the sage's mind. Of course, walking around with what seemed to be a clone of yourself along with two different women earned the Hokage several disapproving stares. Their short walk still managed to be interrupted midway when an ANBU appeared in front of Naruto, kneeling. Before he could even utter a word, though, Naruto pointed at Minato with his thumb.

"Wrong guy. Talk to him." At the ANBU's confusion, which the entire little group could feel, Naruto pointed at his eyes, their deep purple a rather great contrast to Minato's blue ones. The ANBU stood up awkwardly, clearly embarrassed at his mistake before making his way to Minato, who only now noticed the cloak had somehow shifted to a similar copy of his own attire somewhere along their walk. Putting it aside for now, he stared in the eyes of the ANBU, mask as though invisible. The ninja leaned slightly forward before he whispered something to him, which Kushina was the only one unable to hear. Once the ANBU pulled back and disappeared, Kushina was faced with a dumbfounded Minato, an amused Kyuubi and a blank faced Naruto. She noticed absentmindedly the lack of rings in Naruto's eyes.

"What is it?"

"We forgot Biwako and Taji in the cave." Kushina's eyes widened.

"But I thought they were dead!" Her slight outburst caught the attention of several passing civilians and ninjas alike. If the situation wasn't as dire, she would've blushed.

"Apparently, their wounds were merely to put them out of commission."

"I knew I had forgotten something." They looked at Naruto oddly before staring back at each other.

"So they're alive?" Kushina's question was met with a nod.

"Yes. When we didn't return, the third got worried and sent some more ANBU who took care of the wounded. They're in the hospital now." They both looked at each other in relief. When they turned toward Naruto, they found Kyuubi and him munching on sticks of pocky. Before they could ask, he threw one to each of them, which they caught by reflex. At their questioning stare, he shrugged and pointed at a pocky shop a little bit further down the road.

The four of them started to walk again, deciding to finish their interrupted activity. Although mostly silent, the four of them enjoyed the fresh air. Soon, they reached a small park, coincidentally the same one Minato and Kushina had been to the night before. Sitting in a patch of grass in the shade of a tree, a small tension started to build up as nobody spoke. Once it became too much for the ex-jinchuuriki, Kushina looked at her former tenant, managing a small smile.

"You learned to walk correctly quite fast. I'm impressed," she said, nervousness in her voice. Kyuubi looked at her, as though gauging her. She opened her mouth a bit but closed it just as fast. She seemed lost in thoughts before she turned her head away with a huff.

"Of course." Although short and somewhat snappish, her response still made Kushina relieved. An answer lacking any kind of insult was actually far above her expectations. She looked at Minato and imitated Kyuubi when she saw his small smirk. A small, oh so sweet smell soon brought her eyes to Naruto, who was eating ramen while looking at them. Seeing her stare, he reached behind him and brought another bowl of ramen, which he offered her. Quickly taking it, she broke the chopsticks resting on it and started to eat.

"We ate just one hour ago!" Minato's disbelieving voice brought him three blank stares and he now noticed Kyuubi was also eating the salty treat. He blinked then rubbed his eyes as the three shrugged and went back to their ramen. His eyes twitched when he saw baby Naruto drinking milk next to the older one.

Wait, isn't he supposed to drink breast milk at his age?

"I'm the—"

"Shut up."

§§§§§§§§§§ End of Chapter §§§§§§§§§§

AN: Well, this is it. Longer than my first two chapters but shorter than the last one. Sorry about that.

Forced Weekends: It'd make sense, I think. Seriously, the most powerful ninja in the village gets the most frustrating job? Way to go, buddy! Make the village leader and strongest warrior have the most pressure! That's sure to end up well.

Incest comment: That really was just a small joke. There won't be any in here. Though now I do want to write some, damnit.

Kakashi and Rin: Felt like it.

Fancy breakfast: Felt like it.

Sealing food theory: I figured it'd make sense, too. I believe medical techniques are mostly about making your own chakra 'neutral' so that the wounded's body won't reject it. Kinda like how some blood types don't mix together and you need either a specific one or another compatible one to inject so that it won't be rejected. Only here everyone's got their own 'blood type' with only some having similar ones.

Bullshit: Felt like it.

Biwako and Taji: The two that Madara attacked. Since it didn't show their deaths when I started this, (only that they were knocked out and bleeding) I figured they would make a good reason to make something happen. Hell, I even tried to find a way to keep them alive after the explosion in the manga before I realised it didn't happen in this fic. I feel silly.

Three last line: I just love those.

Throwing baby Naruto in the prologue: I was fucking right! He DID throw Naruto! I just… failed at predicting anything else…

Now on to some reviews I got that I wanted to respond to, kinda.

Rick James: I think I got two reviews mentioning this guy. Not sure anymore. Who is he, anyway? I'm too lazy to google it.

Younger Naruto's pairing: will not be NaruHina. I will state it here that I dislike several characters, Hinata being among them. So is Sakura. Now, don't be mistaken, I will not do character bashing in this fanfiction (as far as I know, anyway). I just won't include those I don't like all that much. Sorry for the fans of at least those two pairings.

For a Hokage and his wife to run out of breath after running for only 15 minutes is weird: Well, they saw what Naruto is capable of and didn't want their house blown to pieces. I guess the panic and apprehension would contribute to their fatigue. (I made that up on the spot, you actually caught me.)

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for reading this and I hope you enjoy it.