This is my first story ever, so please criticize as accurately and honestly as you can. You can be as harsh as you want (of course within civilized limits). Reviews are supposedly the essence of this kind of thing, right? Also, English is not my mother language, as you can surely tell. A beta reader can be rather handy here, if anyone is interested.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, it would be Kishimoto who would write fanfics, and I would write the story *wicked grin*
'Damn, I am out of chakra…. Damn it!' thought Shikamaru.
Tayuya smiled deviously at the thought of killing the lazy guy who dared face and trick her multiple times… Still, she had to hand it to him: he was an extraordinary piece of trash…
At that point his technique crumbled, due to him running out of chakra. "Got you!" she screamed, kunai in hand, and she moved to deliver the final and fatal blow.
'So this is it', thought Shikamaru, watching the deadly weapon closing in. 'So… troublesome…' He closed his eyes and waited for the pain and death before him to get to him.
Yet, it never came. Just a veil of utter blackness.
"Humph. Well then, a trash of your caliber can benefit Orochimaru-sama better alive than dead" said the redhead, as she struck him with a sleeping jutsu. "I won't let that bastard of an asshole Kimimaro just steal all of the glory, when he brings that Uchiha brat back to Otokagure".
With that, she took the unconscious body of Shikamaru on her shoulder, and deactivated her cursed seal. Overusing that thing could be life-threatening, and yet that good-for-nothing lazyass had forced her to her limits, and almost got her. She jumped from branch to branch, following the path that Kimimaro had taken, in order to reach him and get on with the mission. Looking behind her shoulder, she wondered what had become of her teammates who had stayed behind.
Jiroubou, that fatass, was beaten. She knew that, since he was the first to fall behind, weakest of the Sound four, closest to the Hidden Leaf, and he wasn't able to stop these guys at all. Or at least he stopped one guy. The chubby piece of trash was not there when the fake Jiroubou, aka the pineapple head in henge, ambushed them. Kidoumaru was unusually late, and for the strongest of them to act like that, that was bad news, but he held that lavender-eyed pupil-less kid behind… or the kid held him. Sakon had fallen down that cliff, when that dog-smelling trash and his mutt hit him with their spinning technique, and he was not heard ever since. As for Kimimaro himself… she was going to see for herself soon.
She took another leap to the next branch, brushing her load on a nearby branch. She heard a small metallic tingling, and saw that his forehead protector, placed on his arm, was ripped off. She smiled. If things went well, he would replace that rubbish with the proud note from the Hidden Sound…
As she looked ahead for any sign of Kimimaro, she saw a clearing of the forest ahead. She decided to go around it, so that she wouldn't slow down.
Strange though… she thought that the Country of Fire was a land without such strange landscape as a mini desert or a white rock formation in the middle of the forest-
She saw it. Kimimaro, in his stage two cursed seal form, hanging limp from one white pillar, blood running from his mouth, and two other ninjas floating near him on a patch of sand… one of them she recognized immediately; his trademark gourd, strange clothing, Hidden Sand forehead protector on his gourd belt, and his face… Gaara of the Desert. She shuddered. If the Hidden Sand was helping the brats, things were sure to turn ugly fast. The other guy was unknown to her, even if he was an eyesore…
'What the fuck is up with this guy? He actually thinks that this kind of dressing is cool or something? He rivals even that orange-clad brat in terms of outrageous clothing'
The Uchiha brat was nowhere to be seen, as well as the orange-clad blonde brat. She still held some hope that she could just snatch him away from his former fellow ninjas and bring him in front of Orochimaru. That way held some promise that she could keep her life and status, when their whole mission turned to a load of shit.
She picked up her pace, to avoid confronting the two ninjas in her weakened state. She cursed her load for forcing her to her limits, and hoped he was worth it.
Soon she would reach the borders of the Fire Country, and she would be protected inside the Sound Country, under Orochimaru's wing.
She saw the two statues ahead, and she smiled. She was catching up with her target. And then everything exploded.
Foul and dark chakras exploded, rising pillars of water and scattering debris about. The blonde brat was encased into some strange red chakra, and the Uchiha brat was barely recognizable in his second stage cursed seal form. Only the Sharingan, these eyes that her lord wanted so much, remained the same.
After the dust settled, the two ninjas were lying motionless side by side near the waterfall. She thought herself lucky; after what she saw, maybe the blonde shithead could be of use too. She began to climb down the cliff to the base of the waterfall, where the two kids were located, when she sensed another chakra signature closing in REALLY fast. She quickly hid herself and the unconscious boy; she was in no shape for any more fights. She immediately recognized the man who sprang out of the forest, following a ninja hound: Hatake Kakashi, the copy-nin, a strong opponent, and at the worst time too. He approached the two kids and made a shadow clone, then took them and ran to the opposite direction, back to the Hidden Leaf.
'Just great. Shit has finally hit the fan' she thought.
'Damn, where is Shikamaru?' thought Temari as she rushed through the forest. She hadn't found a body, only some kunai and signs of fierce battle. 'I hope he is in one piece'. She shuddered, thinking of the still fresh blood she found, even if there were only some drops.
A small light caught her attention. Coming to a halt before it, she saw a torn off Hidden Leaf forehead protector.
Author's Note: Trying to persuade you that I will try to update soon seems kind of illogical, since the only proof I can give is the very same act itself. So I won't. I will try to build your faith in me. I hope.
Also, as some of you have already found, there is a certain lack of Japanese in this story; I must tell you to expect this for all my stories. Since I do not have anyone to help me with this, I won't try to mimic, the result is sure to be disgusting.