Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Mrs. Rowling owns anything that you recognise.
No. No no no no no! This couldn't be happening. Not again. I watched helplessly as my best friend, my last best friend fall backward through that damn piece of cloth.
I heard Harry scream and grabbed onto him as he tried fruitlessly to reach his godfather.
I tried to reason with him, saying there was nothing we could do. Those words must have made me the biggest hypocrite in all of humanity. All I wanted to do was run forward and grab Sirius myself. How was it possible he was gone?
Harry finally broke free and ran after that she-devil that killed him. I called after him, there was no way he would be able to do anything to her. However I was unable to chase after him as I knew I should. I just stood there.
Through the fog I heard Dumbledore say something and all the rest of the order were rushing around making sure the death eaters were secure and the kids all right. Not me, I just stood there.
Kingsley came up to me saying something he didn't seem to need an answer and he steered me out of the ministry and apperated me to the burrow. It appeared that we were no longer using Grimmauld place as headquarters. I thanked the heavens for that, I don't think I can ever go back there.
The fog seemed to lift a bit as Molly rushed up to us. "What happened I saw the profit, and how they finally opened their eyes to You Know Who. And Dumbledore said Ron and Ginny had been hurt and… oh what happened?"
"Let's go inside and I'll explain." Kingsley said. "Come on Remus."
I followed mutely still not completely in tune with my surroundings. Molly bustled us into the kitchen were the other Weasleys were standing. Even Fred and George looked worried. I sat down on a chair and listened as Kingsley told our story. I wasn't really affected until he got to the end.
"And then Dumbledore showed up. We all stopped fighting, well except for Sirius and Bellatrix. They kept going at it. They were insulting each other, then Bellatrix got a hit in and Sirius fell backward. Right through the veil." Kinsley said his voice catching.
Molly gasped. "No!" She said beginning to cry. The rest of the Weasleys began tearing up as well, but none quite as loudly as Molly. Arthur went and sat next to her patting her back as comfort. Eventually it became quiet and no one seemed to know what to say.
"Why don't we have some tea?" Kingsley asked quietly and Molly immediately jumped up glad to have something to do.
Just as Molly was handing out tea Dumbledore walked through the front door looking unusually grim. I hadn't seen him this sad since that day all those years ago when my world had fallen apart for the first time.
"Hello he said quietly and everyone looked up at him. "Molly would it be all right if we were to have a quick meeting here?" he asked.
"Yes that's fine go ahead." Molly said, "Would you like some tea?"
"No thank you Dumbledore said before muttering a spell and his silvery phoenix patronus appeared and flew off in the distance to tell the other members.
Very soon the other members of he order began to appear out of thin air and sit around the kitchen table. However the size of the order was not compatible with the size of the room and so we moved to the living room and sat around on the couches and on the floor.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and all those that had been speaking quieted immediately. "Now I'm sure you all have heard about what happened in the department of Mysteries last night. You know the Ministry is finally on our side however it came at a cost." He said gravely.
"Both Nymphadora and Alastor are incapacitated at the moment and Sirius has left us." He said solemnly those who didn't know gasped or began to cry however Dumbledore carried on. "There are many things that must be arranged because of this. First off is anyone aware of whether or not Sirius had written a will recently?" He asked, of course everyone looked at me.
I cleared my throat and opened my mouth it took me a minute but I finally was able to speak. "The last will I know of was the one he wrote during the first order. In it he gave almost everything to James." I said hoarsely blinking back tears. "It was in our old flat, I don't know of any other ones but I suggest you look in his room."
"In that case there is the matter of headquarters. While I'm sure Sirius would allow us to use I do not know if there are any spells in place to prevent us from continuing to own Grimmauld place. I will look into the matter but for the time being can we use the burrow as headquarters Molly?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes that's fine." Molly replied quickly.
"Anyone that needs to retrieve anything from Grimmauld place may do so today." Dumbledore said. "I think that is all for now. When it is time to have the next meeting I will contact you." He then got up and began to leave.
'Wait!" I called after him and got up. He looked around seemingly surprised, I couldn't blame him I had practically been mute since it happened. "Is Harry all right?" I asked hurriedly.
Dumbledore was quiet for a moment. "He will be. At the moment he is in a state of denial. But I know him and he'll figure it out soon." With that he left apperating away. Everyone followed suit saying goodbyes before apperating home. Soon it was just me and the Weasleys.
"Remus if you'd like you can stay here. I know you've been staying at Grimmauld place and if you need a place to stay you're welcome." Arthur said to me. I was quiet for a moment. On one hand I didn't want to be around people but I knew that I did need a place to stay.
"If I wouldn't be imposing that would be great." I replied quietly attempting a smile.
"You wouldn't be don't worry, you can stay in Bill and Charlie's old room." Molly said. "It's just up the stairs. First door you come to." Molly said.
"Thank you I'll need to go get my things first though." I said. I was dreading this part. The last thing I wanted to do was go to Grimmauld place but I had little choice. So I apperated away to Grimmauld place and thought about number 13 and watched it grow out of the ground.
I walked into the dismal hall and past that repulsive portrait of Mrs. Black. Up in my room I quickly assembled my things. I walked down the stairs, about halfway to the bottom I tripped and fell face first downwards. Of course with any loud noise came the screeching of Mrs. Black.
I went over and pondered the portrait. She seemed to realiz I was there and not trying to quiet her and she stopped yelling. What is it you want you filthy half-breed?" She snarled.
I stayed quiet. "What! What are you and my ridiculous excuse for a son doing now?" She asked menacingly.
That stung, I glared. "For one thing Sirius is ten times the person you'll ever be and for another he isn't coming back. It'll just be you and your damn house elf again happy?" I replied scathingly.
It was her turn to be quiet. 'So he's gone?" She asked uncertainly.
"Yes." I spat.
Once again silence. I think this was the quietest I had ever seen her alive or dead. "Well, well good riddance he was just a little blood traitor anyway." She said with a s much contempt as she could muster. I gave her a searching look. There seemed to be more emotion hidden behind those eyes then she let on. I shrugged and left.
When I returned to the burrow all was thankfully quiet. I sneaked up to the room I would be staying in hoping o avoid anyone that may be around. Walked into the room and sat on the bed. I knew this was it. I was alone and I knew that it was all about to hit me like a ton of bricks. How did I know? Because I've done this before. I figure if I did it once I could do it again. I sat there waiting until the tears came. As soon as they did, they didn't stop. I didn't know how long I sat there before I fell asleep it may have been minutes, or hours, or days. For now I was happy to join the land of sleep and not have to think about what had happened.
It had been days since it had happened. The Weasleys mostly left me alone allowing me to hole myself up in my room. Occasionally Molly would bring up food or tea which I would take and as soon as she left, vanish. I couldn't eat, I could barely sleep. I was a mess I knew it. I thought that this time it would be better. I had only lost one friend this time, last time it had been four.
I was wrong. Over the past two years I had thought everything was better. Fooled myself into thinking I wouldn't be alone again. I was wrong. It was true this time I was the last marauder. The last real marauder. Peter was still out there somewhere being a complete idiot while I sat here. Moping and drowning in self pity.
I heard a knock on my door. I sighed and stood up. I opened the door expecting to see Molly and instead I saw a bedraggled Tonks looking less perky then I had ever seen her. Her hair was limp and a mousy brown. She was wearing plain robes as opposed to the t-shirt and jeans she usually walked around in.
"Can I come in?" She asked quietly. I stepped back gesturing her to enter. She came in and sat down tentatively on the bed.
"How are you feeling?" I asked. I knew she had been in St. Mungo's and only got out recently after the battle.
"I suppose I'm all right. I heard you've holed yourself up in here and won't leave." She said matter of factly giving me a look.
I shrugged and sat down next to her. "You've heard right."
"Why?" She asked curiously.
"I just can't do it." I said exasperatedly. She looked at me confused. "I can't do any of it! I can't walk outside like nothing happened and go on with life. Sirius was the last person I had. I sent 12 years all alone doing absolutely nothing, getting fired every other month, moping, turning into a fucking monster once a month, more moping, and that's about it. I don't want to do that again. I've been there, done that and I do not want to go back. Despite the war and all I've been happier then I have been in years while Sirius was back. And now here I am again all alone." I sighed and put my head in my hands.
"You aren't all alone." Tonks said. "We're all in the same boat. I miss Sirius too. He was the only relative I had that I actually knew from my mothers side. Besides it's practically my fault he's gone. Had I kept dueling Bellatrix she wouldn't have gotten him." Tonks said starting to tear up.
"First off it isn't your fault. You got knocked out that happens in a fight. If you blame yourself and I don't stop you Sirius will come back and murder me. Second we are not in the same boat. That's the thing. You have loads of friends. All my friend are either traitors or dead. You never had to lose all your best friends. And even if you did you could make more. What sort of idiot wants to be friends with a werewolf?" I asked rhetorically the self disgust evident in my voice.
"I do." She said quietly looking deep into my eyes. I blinked and looked away. "Maybe you're right Remus I don't know exactly what it's like for you. But you still don't have to be alone. I'll be here for as long as you need me."
I looked back into her face and saw that she really meant it. For the first time since he left I felt something besides the pain that had been ripping through me. Some sort of deep emotion in the pit of my stomach. I shook it off and just looked at her for a moment.
I don't know how long I sat there staring at her. We were silent and yet I was comforted somehow. I think she had a good point. I guess this time it was better. And I wasn't alone.
AN: Well there you go. I hoped you like the story and it wasn't too bad. I've had this idea in my head for a couple of days and thought I should write it down. Please give me a review and tell me if you liked it!