A/N: Phrases in bold are quotes, scenes, or nods to LuRe fandom (including bits of Nuke history that I hope won't repeat itself!). I count somewhere between 160-180 references depending on what you count as a nod to fandom.
I'm begging you, TPTB*.
To show more LuRe on my TV!
Any Luresday's good by me
As long as my boys, I get to see.
Let Luke and Reid play more chess,
Share caramel lattes, a face caress.
Walk in the park,
Kiss in the dark,
Watch Godfather, parts 2 and 1,
Ride mechanical bulls (because it's fun),
Eat dinners for two,
Make sandwiches, too,
Drink club soda and iced lemonade,
Have eyesex (the LuRe way, it's not clichéd).
More LuRe and fewer other storylines?
Yes! I speak for many like minds!
I want Vienna out the door
And to see Teri and Gabriel no more
Keep Casey and Ali out of sight
Let Babs and Hank finally unite
And make an episode's big highlight
Where Luke keeps Reidy warm at night.
Molly, Lily? Lily, Molly?
I say neither, gee, by golly.
I much prefer LuRe's verbal volley,
As the other stories oft feel like folly.
I'd like Oakdale's top attractions
Involved in much more "personal" interactions.
Lucinda, Lisa, Margo and Tom,
Even Craig, and Susan (Emily's mom) –
Enjoyed them all, but none can compare
To Luke and Reid, my favorite pair.
'Cause every since our misanthrope outsider
Kissed young Mr Luke E Snyder
In that cozy Dallas hotel
These days without them have been a new hell.
Though John's okay and even Andy,
I'd rather Luke with flowers and candy.
Can't Reid please finally get Luke alone?
C'mon PTB, throw us a bone!
I need Reid to show Luke proof
That he's not really so aloof
Since seeing Reid all hot and horny
Is a sight that'll never bore me.
As for Dusty, Janet and CarJack,
Who cares as long as we don't go back
To untimely pizza guys
And random ultimata that arise
Or other such lame plot devices.
No! I want to see them bond (like Pisces
Who react to fish).
Yes, SERIOUS bonding is my wish.
Glad NutMeg's done, and with her, Pem –
I've really had enough of them.
And meddling Emma, who was she?
She was a complete stranger to me.
Where was Luke's grandma – Snyder matriarch,
And the Hubbard squash – her trademark?
Instead a weird imposter we got
Who seemed to have lost the plot.
Liberty, Faith, and Parker, too,
Are stealing airtime from my fave two!
Can they, too, go away right now
So the powers that be can figure out how
To give us LuRe 24/7?
That to me would be true heaven!
Yes, show more of Reid dropping his mask
And taking on the time-consuming task
Of finding friends, family, and home
Or his 3am yoga (where he's chanting "ohm").
I'd welcome back Will, Gwen and Ro,
And Sierra, but really, though,
Time's short enough without still more
Airtime stealing by these four.
I'd rather see dorky science nerd guy
Hustle Luke with a wink of his eye.
And Abby and Lucy had great potential
But can they be more than incidental?
Perhaps with an earlier return
My newfound respect they'd once again earn.
But at this late date, I can only accede
That they'll detract from the pairing of Luke and Reid.
Luke brought out the best in Dr O,
And now Reid's not letting him go.
So, here's to daytime's hottest duo!
Can they please have more time on P&G's last show?
ATWT has just this one last hot summer
And with less LuRe love? What a bummer!
But, oh REALLY? Iris, Ralph AND Mick?
Do we really need them in the thick?
Add Damian and maybe James
And all their ruthless dastardly games
Then ATWT's smexy pair will be
Again on the backburner – such lunacy!
To Van and Eric's talent it's a real testament
That despite weird plot twists they're wanted – it's a compliment!
I'll make an exception for grand Nancy Hughes
Her passing was truly devastating news
To her, I'd like to say a heartfelt goodbye
With an onscreen tribute – that will make me cry.
Doogie and Katie are okay,
And Bob and Kim sure paved the way
For great soap couples of today
Like Luke and Reid who rock, I say.
And what about dear old Noah?
Nuke were cute but not no mo-ah.
Luke's gone and found himself some balls
And backbone, too – yes, Rooftop Luke enthralls.
Dressed to the nines (Armani suits!)
With morphin' tresses (wow, he's cute!)
And peeks of chest hair are a sign
That Luke's grown up – ain't he divine?
I shouted out loud "Hooray!"
At pod-Luke's* demise after Black Monday.
Since then, we finally heard Luke say
To Reidykins that he wanted him to "Stay!"
So now, Luke, don't let him get away.
BFFs is not good enough
' cause we know Luke likes 'em tough
Now that Noah can see the door
It's time for Luke to expect much more
Gone is needy, whiny Luke,
Instead we have steamin', smokin' Ruke!
And whoever would have thought that
Doc McBrainy (that pompous prat)
Would find Luke Snyder is all that
Not Richie Rich, a spoiled brat?
How cool is that?
I adore Reid's snarky sarcasm,
And babbling doc gives me Reidgasms.
I'll take Reid with Hank or Katie
With Dr Bob or just the baby,
Or a pillow, or stitching teddy.
And how much would I pay to see
Reid do Justin Timberlake,
Or share with Luke the secret handshake?
Let Reid show Luke how that would work
Exactly, (as S&P* goes beserk).
I don't mind if it is quick and dirty
Or just playful and eye-flirty
I want Reid to play with Luke's toy
And, well, ride again, like an urban cowboy!
Only one ep a week? I hope not!
More is needed for this sublime soapy plot!
And in case you think there's uncertainty? Confused? I'm not.
Dude, like Richard, I can see
The doc's hot!
So bring on Orchard and leave Luke free
To develop a holy co-dependency!
I need more scenes where they get along better
Munch hotel snacks, spend time together.
Give neck massages, watch the Cubs
(with Reid in TBJMD* or scrubs),
Try kissing booths, or hot tubs,
Eat chili – of course, with cornbread,
Toss wet towels from the bed,
Repeat Reid's mantra, copulate,
Be friendly, and not move out of state.
Make Reid see he's fond of air
Let Luke once again say "I care."
I wanna see how Reid makes Luke feel,
And be part of something real.
Mess with Luke, and as always fix brains,
Get more scenes without postcard campaigns,
Join the human race
Share a steamy embrace.
Seal the deal
At the Wagon Wheel?
Take a chance,
Find the perfect balance
Between his calling in life
And everything else – without any strife.
Rooftop Luke's awesome – very!
So let him answer high schooler Reid's query:
"Whether you want me as much as I want you"
Yes, Luke! Show Reid what else to do,
Put an end to lonely mush,
Arrange another wall-push,
Change Reid's mind
About staying behind
In this pathetic town –
No more putzin' around!
I'd give a kidney – or two or even three
To see more hot LuRe chemistry
Why they're not on more's a mystery.
Let Luke have a happily ever after
With this awesome new character.
I'd much rather see what's brewing
Than watch poor Reid at home stewing
With his books, sad and alone
With nothing but his mobile phone.
Instead of Reid freaking Luke out
Crawling out of his skin, and being a lout,
Let him save lives, shout "bon appetit"
Work on his winning personality,
Be a warm fuzzy guy, and still be unique,
Enjoy running into Mr Snyder, and continue to speak
The truth while validating
The sappy cards emanating
From Hallmark and American Greetings
While being in love, among other things,
Good golly, almighty, I need more Reid smiles
And Reid's futile efforts, resisting Luke's wiles.
Lovesick Reid sure overreacted;
We know around Luke, he's awfully distracted
'Cause just being Luke seems to do it
It's as simple as that; there's nothing more to it!
In Dallas, uberdoc was distressed
To find that Luke was, um, not dressed
Methinks this would now be a welcome sight
(I know for me it'd be a delight!).
And since they're really hot for each other
And summer's coming with its sweltering weather
It's a perfect excuse for fewer, um, clothes
And whatever might follow, heaven knows.
So they could do it at the Farm,
(Maybe at the pond, on a day that's warm?)
Or they could try at Katie's place,
Or at the LakeView, just in case
The LilyPad is overrun
With Walshes, Snyders and everyone
Else in Oakdale, Illinois,
Impeding progress for my boys.
At Al's, at Yo's in scenic OakHell
In Dallas, or Milltown would be just as well.
At Grimaldi, the Foundation, or even Worldwide,
At Memorial or Fairwinds, either in- or outside;
At Metro or Java, or WOAK
At Fashions, OU, or Old Town in OakHay.
Just so long as Reid gets lucky,
(I'm sure that he would think it ducky).
In what the Brits would call a lift
Reid's extreme response was quite a gift!
With Luke shoved up against the wall?
We got UST* – darn! that's all?
If I can't get an onscreen fix
I'll have to imagine LuRe as retold by Snicks.
Little did Luke realize, he'd end his drought
Just after saying "we're not gonna make out."
With that ambush kiss in Dallas? Wow!
Like Luke, I liked it! More please? Now!
Now we've been wanting our dear Dr Oliver
To kiss Luke for a long time (feels like forever!).
So let them suck face, swap spit,or make out,
Whether bottom or top, would be awesome – no doubt!
For LuRe, no kiss is "just" a kiss
Because they bring on utter bliss
From addicted LuRe fans, just like me
Who wait for each ep eagerly
Desperately hoping again to see
More PDAs, so we can squee.
And could we now hear Luke say anew:
"You came!" And Reid's reply without much ado:
"I came; let's not get all weepy"
With an added: "That was great, but now I'm sleepy."
And said in a wholly new context
(You know, the kind that involves...SEX!).
With a cuddle thrown in, and maybe a spoon,
That, for sure, would make me swoon.
No conflicts of interest; no more doc block,
Don't make AE resurrect the damn no-sex clock!
No jumping on the bed, no mistletoegate,
And after this torture, it better be "worth the wait."
Please, no "same here" concessions,
And no "just a joke" confessions,
Just passionate snogs and lusty kisses
And enough of these bloody near misses!
Turn Reid's back to Luke (not to the wall)
It'll have nothing to do with any phone call
But rather a mutual unsated need
To be with their soul mate - how romantic, indeed.
Let LuRe open their hearts,
Know the important parts
Get what they want, when they want
Before we see Eric on stage in Vermont.
"Yippie- ki-yay" I'd be tempted to howl
To see more Luke in just a towel.
And shirtless Reid, just post-shower?
Much better than Reid's patented wistful glower!
What's Luke gonna do with Reid now?
Play it out onscreen somehow
Don't make me rely on missing-scene fanfic
(Though I must say much of it is indeed fantastic).
When Luke figures out where Reid keeps his sword
You'll hear a loud thud from the LRO fanboard.
Letting Luke see Reid's real bedside manner
Is an obvious choice – it's a clear-cut no brainer!
Luke Snyder's character's the legacy
Ultimately, it's HE who should be happy
So what I wouldn't give to again see
Luke's amazing smile as when he told Lily
"He's rude, and he's cold, and he's rude"
('cause of course he saw through Reid's fake heartless 'tude)
LuRe are the true gay Bob and Kim,
So, Reid? I want Luke to frisk him
And then take him out to dinner
That scene would be a certain winner!
From the day Reid was first kidnapped
And fell real hard (head over heels) –
Like Reid, I have been LuRe-d and trapped
So trust me – I know just how Reid feels!
One's not such a low number – but let's make it two
Let Reid do what a man's gotta do
For I'm sure I would melt into a puddle of goo
If the two would ever say "I love you."
You make me wait for days and days,
So while I wait, I count the ways
They touch my heart and make me smile
And fall more deeply, all the while.
Then just when I think I can't love them more
Another episode plays which I adore
LuRe-ing me in yet deeper for sure.
In the end, TPTB, to break these two apart
Could only be done by not-the-next-Mozart
Or clown college grads, or jerks (dumber than rocks) –
A non-LuRe endgame is just plain bollocks!
If LuRe as endgame doesn't come to be
I might ask you take your gun and shoot me?
It would take a confederacy
Of idiots of epic enormity
To keep these two matched souls apart
A LuRe-less end would break my heart.
But I have faith (it ain't brain surgery),
So prove me right, TPTB?
And, when it's time, I can only pray
That it will be done the proper way
So that just because the boys are gay
The camera doesn't pan away!
Yes, I will hope and I will plead
For my beloved Luke and Reid
To get that much deserved love scene
To scorch my screen
(Make it routine!)
Before the end on Sept. 17.
S&P = Standards and Practices (a.k.a. the Network Censors)
TBJMD = Tight black jeans of mass destruction (courtesy of ktkins)
Pod-Luke = Shells of people whose personalities have been replaced by alien spawn (from the invasion of the Pod-People)
TPTB = The Powers that Be (Executive Producer Chris Goutman, the network executives, and the suits at P&G)
UST = Unresolved sexual tension
P.S. MonthPythonGirl123 – thanks for the most epic review ever! I couldn't figure out how else to issue a public thanks, without spamming my own reviews, so here it is!