Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass or its characters. They belong to Sunrise & CLAMP. I do like to play with them now and then, however. The story, although, does belong to me.
Author's Note: Happy Birthday Angela! Per your request for Kalulu smut/angst (I hate that word. Let's just say…sad times, lol).
"As you move on, remember me; remember us and all we used to be. Goodbye my lover; goodbye my friend. You have been the one for me."- James Blunt
Trembling. Quivering. Quaking. Shaking.
"Do you think we'll win?"
"What kind of question is that, Q-1?"
Kallen frowned. Lelouch simply touched her fingers with his
Trembling. Quivering. Quaking. Shaking.
"Do you want me to play decoy? I'll do anything you ask me to!"
Now was no time to play cupid; and yet, she was standing there with those passionate blue eyes wide with concern and fear of what tomorrow would bring without him. She was there with her hair natural; hanging at her shoulders without the spikes of the Queen, but the unguarded straightness of Kallen. She was here with that dress that was modest and all too alluring. She had come for him; rescued him from himself.
He listened to her stop her panting; listening.
"-comfort me. There are things women can do for that, isn't there?"
Lelouch dared not look at her. Instead he focused on her mouth. Without his knowledge, his hand had slipped up to her chin and forced her to tilt her head upwards.
Their separate breaths mixed into one hot flow of air. Her lips trembled the closer he became. His heart pounded against his chest with a fierceness that not even adrenaline could give him.
He had only been this close to her once before; her mouth that is, but only as a decoy. Protection from a set of yellow eyes.
Their lips brushed against each other's before she screamed her objection and slapped his cheek.
Throbbing; stinging; aching. He raised his eyes to finally meet hers. Tears. Raw, unprotected tears.
Alarm sounded through him as she ran off. He reached for her. She didn't stop.
That look…that look would haunt him.
"Don't apologize for my behavior, Q-1. I am thankful for your guidance."
She smiled slightly, her cheeks flushing as she let her fingers idly run over the surface of the wall as they walked the corridors.
The calm of early morning/late night filled the ship. Along with the soft coos of sleep and dreams.
"You seem better now," She offered awkwardly, leaning against the darkness ensconced wall.
Zero nodded, watching her closely behind his visor.
Lethal; passionate; raw; unhindered; caring.
"I am…me," He said with a slight laugh at the end. No affirmation; no denial. Just the truth.
Kallen eyed him curiously for a moment before smiling, white teeth too-bright in the dark halls of Rebellion, "That's true."
His fingers twitched at his sides as he watched her. Perhaps he really wasn't better. If this gnawing at the pit of his stomach was any indication. His hunger still lingered.
Every time his eyes found hers, even through the wall of his visor, he felt that same starving over and over again.
"Things will become…difficult soon."
His queen made no move; no response. But she listened. She always listened.
He let the weight of that statement loom above them like a guillotine.
They both knew that battles were coming that many would not come back from. Including her. She could be-
His teeth clenched together at the mere thought of not seeing this…woman. Of not hearing her passion filled-cries as she fought for something she truly believed in. Of not feeling her presence.
She was uncommon. Never again would he meet a woman exactly like her.
And as much as he wished he could take credit for her outcome, he could not. Kallen had been this exact person since before he had even met her; laid eyes on her; recruited her.
That made her all the more atypical.
"You should get some rest," Kallen muttered finally, her eyes glowing through the thick matter of darkness.
Slowly she turned her head so that she could look at him dead-on, "…Lelouch?" She asked in a near mute. He would have dismissed it as his imagination if he had not been watching her mouth.
He shuffled over to her, stopping once his chest was brushing against hers.
"What are you-"
"You will come back to me."
The soft hiss of his helmet releasing filled her ears harshly.
"After the battles…each one of them…you will come back."
She smiled at him darkly, "I'm immune. So save your eye."
Lelouch chuckled at this, a clank sounding near their feet as he set down his headpiece.
"Hey!" Kallen growled, grabbing his upper arm roughly, "What are you doing? Someone could-"
"They're asleep. And it's dark."
"You take too many unnecessary risks," She grumbled, releasing him.
Amethyst eyes found their way through the night shadows, surprising her at just how close they were.
Why he cared about something so trivial when there were greater things afoot, he wasn't too sure. All that he did know was that she needed to come back. And only her word would do to ease his mind.
"Perhaps I do," He finally answered her, his fingers brushing against her arms in a light dance of uncertainty, "But things always work out the way I plan them to."
Violet dropped down to look at her mouth, "Mostly," He corrected her.
Kallen watched his focus fall and she instantly stiffened. No longer did he hold a hollowed look of devastation and depression. But now something different. Stronger with determination and necessity.
"What do you want, Zero?" She asked him as easy as she could; coming off brash and calloused as she usually did. Fighters like Kallen weren't very familiar with sensitivity. But everything about this man made her want to forget those traits and start again with eloquence and grace.
"You've had it since the beginning."
"No, I want a new pledge."
"What is it?" Although she already knew that answer.
"-That you'll come back."
"I can't promise something like that," The Kouzuki murmured, the pulse in her neck throbbing as he inclined his head, "I don't know what will happen tomorrow."
She searched his face for any sign of disappointment or anger. There was none to be found. He seemed just as calm and collected as he had been upon asking her for her pledge.
Kallen swallowed, her lips trembling for the second time that week, as he drew closer.
Last time she had stopped him. Last time he had been downtrodden. This time…
Her mouth was much softer than he thought it would be. It was clear Kallen didn't partake in the typical niceties that a woman her age usually did. Extreme upkeep. But it was nice. Different.
He pulled back and let her breathe before he went back and laid claim upon them again, this time the advancement was greeted with a returning pressure against his own mouth.
For the longest of times they simply kissed like timid children; savoring each one for all it's worth.
Aside from the spinning of her head, it was quite delightful. And dangerous. The thrill of being discovered weighed heavy upon their minds as he moved his mouth from her lips to trail at her jaw. Then just below her ear at her pulse point.
"Promise me," He whispered into her ear softly, his hands linking with hers upon feeling her stiffen again.
"I can't!" Kallen snapped through the mask of a harsh whisper.
Again, no remarks of anger or disappointment. Instead he pressed her harder against the wall and pressed a knee between her legs, urging her stance wider.
His wandering mouth returned to hers, claiming it with a strong urgency. Open; warm; wet; dominating. He was the epitome of dominance and security when ordering his troops, so why not during such an intimate moment?
Her eyes fell closed as she returned the gesture, her own tongue moving against his for a few moments; all the while he unzipped her shorts.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" She gasped through pants for air, her free hand (not currently being held captive by his clenching grasp) grabbing at his chest through his suit.
"Quiet," He instructed her, yanking her pants down with a strong pull.
Down they went, a puddle of cloth and cotton at her feet.
"No!" She growled back, her heart leaping at the cool rush of air to her exposed torso and legs.
"Very well then," He answered back softly, a way that was arrogant and consoling and uniquely Lelouch.
He reached down and unzipped his own uniform, pushing it aside as he stepped closer, urging her legs farther apart.
Everything…it was so fast. What did it all mean? Was this…did Lelouch…why now?
"With me," Lelouch said, nudging her nose with his.
The concerned look in her eyes told him that she was fearful.
He pressed his mouth overtop of hers again in a form of comfort, 'I'm here,' he physically told her with each touch of his lips.
Lelouch Lamperouge did not comfort people and yet…he couldn't help himself. Not when she looked at him with eyes like that.
The swift rise and fall of her chest stopped as pain shot through her like a bullet.
Her head fell down to rest against his shoulder, her hands clawing against his as she tried to remain quiet.
They were still out in the open and other (curious) people sleeping on board.
Her mouth parted and accepted his as he moved within her; against her; with her.
Breaking. She felt like she was breaking into millions of pieces, only to be replaced with him. And a building of excitement and pleasure.
Yes…after the initial acidity of it wore off, it was quite desirable. Sloppy, but nice.
Because it was with him.
Because it had to be him.
Keening; her back rose from the wall; her chest pushing up against him as he worked. For being so physically inept, Zero certainly knew his way around her body. How he had gotten so familiar with such techniques, she didn't want to know. Nor did she care at that exact moment in time. Something far greater was on the horizon; beckoning to her.
"Promise me," He whispered again, his gloved fingertips like winter against her hips.
She shook her head, biting into her mouth to keep from yelling and crying at his persistence. Did he not understand the gist of why she could not pledge this to him? Not this time?
He slowed, his movements nearly nonexistent as he raised his head, eyes connecting with hers in a hard gaze of dissatisfaction.
Her nails sank into his shoulders sharply, earning a slight grunt of discomfort but nothing more.
"You know I can't."
He rolled his hips, eyeing her warily, "I need to have your word."
Why was he so damn hung up on that stupid promise? What was so different about it all now?
The royal smiled as she lulled her head back against the wall, the column in her throat moving as she swallowed repeatedly; fighting; needing.
Trembling. Quaking. Quivering. Shaking.
Her body shook with the weight of satisfaction looming ahead and the heaviness of his request. Her heart raced at the mere idea that he was so resolute about her safety; her return. Did Lelouch Vi Britania truly care about her well-being?
"Kallen," He called, his hand sliding over her thigh to grasp her rear. He held onto her tight, bringing her lower body closer and more in sync with his as he moved against her again; his mouth finding her neck in a warm brand of passion.
Her eyes rounded as the final straw inside of her snapped and gave way.
"You promise what?" Lelouch questioned, moving against her more. More pressure; more friction; more, more, more.
Her brows knit together as she tried to form audible words, "I'll come back."
His mouth curved into a smirk against her neck as he set up his pace again, "Good."
Hard; quick; demanding; devastating.
Toes curling, with a cry of his name into his shoulder, Kallen found relief.
After a few more movements of their bodies together, he found his as well. No cry of her name. Nothing but a soft groan. Soft and elegant, like him.
Trembling. Quaking. Quivering. Shaking.
Her heart quivered as they fixed their clothing and stood breathless in the hallway.
Lelouch bent down and picked up his helmet, his limbs shaking from the strain of their exercise.
"Shh," He shushed, pressing close to her again, his mouth claiming hers once more in a light notion of goodnight.
She watched as jet black and violet were covered with a reflection of her against his helmet's screen.
Gone was the man. Present was the entity. The symbol.
"I expect you to keep that promise, Q-1."
Kallen looked at him solemnly before giving him a curt nod.
Such things weren't light subject matters when you got right down to it. He was asking her not to die. To come back the way she was; preserved in a mobile body and spirited mind.
He turned to leave, his cape swooshing as he did so, but not before his fingers wrapped around hers and squeezed. It was over before she could even recognize what had happened.
A silent thank you. A silent promise of his own, possibly?
He was going to rectify the world. And she would be able to experience it. The new world order that she helped to create. That they all helped to bring about.
Kallen watched him walk down the hall, his pace dragging a bit with the ache of sleep and exertion; his head still held high, however.
He was doing brilliant things that she would be able to see and tell the future about.
Her heart swelled at the pride of being apart of something so grand. But fell at the realization that all they could ever have were stolen moments in hallways; closets; rooms; and studies. Never would he reach for her in the light of the day. And never would she ask for it.
That was alright. It would be selfish of her to wish for him as her own. A man destined for things far greater than she could imagine. Far greater than she could ever be.
After a yawn and one final glance at his back, she slipped inside her own room.
No, she was no fool. She knew he could never be hers. But she would be his. She had always been his. And she was okay with that.
Every time, from that moment forward, whenever his mouth found hers: lusting and conquering, she would submit. She would accept. And she would reciprocate.
Because as long as they were lost in those moments, she was the only thing on his mind. The only one for him. As he was for her.
Even if tomorrow brought no hope for a repeat of their stolen time, she found solace in knowing that Lelouch was everything to her.
Friend; foe; savior; destroyer; leader; betrayer; warrior; coward; loner; lover.
He was everything she could ever have.
And everything she could never have.
Hope you enjoyed it! XD