It had been along morning and I was heading to my last and one of my only lessons I wasn't in with Edward, before lunch. I hated maths not just because Edward wasn't in the lesson with me, but because I found it hard, yes nearly as hard as gym, which says a lot as I cannot walk across a flat surface without falling over something. A lot of the time I just ended up spending all lesson trying to work out how to answer one question, and then I have to do the rest as homework. It doesn't help that I often get the numbers mixed up, and then when I go back through the work I realise half the numbers are the wrong way around. I don't understand why but I always manage to change the numbers before the teachers realises. I am a top student and don't want to be seen as thick. And I do not especially do not want Edward to know as he is already so much better than me and this just lengthens the gap between my in-perfection and his perfection.
I have to really concentrate in the explanations and copy then off the board so I can go over them and over them until I understand what I am doing.
Today we have a mock exam and I am really worried we have a couple of months until we have the real exams, however I know I am going to really struggle. At least I know how much work I will need to do when I get these results next week. I know Edward would help if I asked but I just didn't want him to know how much I struggled in maths.
I filled out the front of the test paper and then turned to the front page. I love how in senior school the questions are all written and not just number, this defiantly helps a lot as I don't have to struggle over what they are asking me but just the answers.
It took me a lot longer than the rest of the class to answer the questions. Everyone else had finished well before the time was over and had left class early. This worried me because I was the only one left, it was obviously relatively easy, yet I was struggling with the numbers as usual. The exam was 1 hour and I now only had 5 minutes left and still a couple of questions to do, not to mention checking the answers and numbers.
I managed to quickly do the last few questions but no time to check anything. I was really panicky and walked slowly to lunch so I could get my expression and feelings under control before seeing Edward, my Greek, perfect, Adonis again.
I was waiting for Bella in the cafeteria. She was taking her time, where was she. I had brought her dinner and was sat at the table with my bothers and sisters; Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. I was actually getting quite worried and was just about to go to her maths room to see if she was ok when she arrived into the cafeteria. For some reason maths was the only lesson she didn't let me walk her from one placed to another, she stated this was because we had lunch next so we might as well meet in there. At least this meant I could get her lunch for her so she couldn't try to pay for it.
I looked closely at her. There was something wrong. She was trying to keep a poker face, however there was some emotion hidden deep in her eyes. Fear? No that wasn't it. Anger? No that wasn't it. Worry? Yes that was it.
I pulled her down next to me then turned her to face me. 'What's wrong?' I questioned her.
'Nothing' she replied. She was lying. Her heart race had increased and her eyes had moved to the right as they always did when she was lying.
'Don't lie to me Bella' I said 'You know you can tell me anything. What's the matter?'
'Just had a problem with an exam, that's all' she mumbled.
Hmm I would have to discuss this with her at another time. Was she struggling in maths? I presumed it was maths as she had just come from that lesson, which was one of the only lessons she did not have with me. No she was really clever plus I would know through her teachers thought if there was anything to wrong. 'I'm sure you will be fine' I smiled at her.
BPOV- One week later.
I was once again walking to my maths lesson. Today was the day I got my results back. I was really worried, I had a bad feeling and was half tempted to skive but knew Edward would find out or Alice would see so I would have to explain what was going on. I didn't want to do that.
I walked into the lesson. The teacher told us she would hand the test back at the end of the lesson so we got on with that days learning.
1 hour later and I was so worried, I kept winding my hand together. The teacher told us to collect our papers as we are walking out of the door. I got up solely and joined the end of the queue. By the time I got the front I was the last one as people had started pushing, I didn't mind because I was so anxious and started to feel sick. My teacher handed my paper back. I didn't dare look down.
My teacher said look at it Bella. Oh dear I thought. But she smiled?
I slowly started lowering my head and looked. I had to blink a few times -a C-. Yes it was the one of my worse grades, but P.E was lower, with a D+. But a C- I was so happy. I looked up and the teacher was smiling. Bella she said can I have a word. Huh I would have expected her to talk if I got a bad grade but I thought a C- was ok.
'Yes' I said hesitantly, my heart was beating so fast, and I thought I was going to be sick.
'Bella' she said, 'have you always had trouble with numbers?'
Oh no. I thought. 'Wh-what do you mean?' I stammered
'Some of the letters are the wrong way around, and I think on a few questions you put the numbers in the wrong order' she stated.
'OH err…' I said, I could feel the tears welling up
'How long has this been happening' she said.
'As long as I can remember' I said. I was fighting back the tears now, I won't cry, not here, I kept saying to myself.
'It's ok Bella,' she said, placing a hand on my soldier 'I think you have a form of dyslexia called Dyscalculia. This is a form of dyslexia that only affects numbers, I checked your files how come no one has ever noticed before?'
'I have tried to hide it I'm thick' I said 'It takes me most of the lesson to work out what to do with all the numbers so I do most of the work from lessons at home I rework through the example questions until I get it correct once I have it correct and know what to do with all the number I can do the others but I still have the problem with putting the numbers down, it then takes a while to check through the work and make sure all the numbers on the page are correct'
'So once you know how to work through the questions, you can do them.'
'Yes,' I stated 'It seems to help in the long run, because I spend so much time on each of the equations we learn I tend to remember then easier'
'Well that's good' she stated, 'we can help you with this Bella, you got a C- but I believe if we focus on writing down numbers and get this correct we get your grade up to a B. You seem ok on the theories it's just the numbers so if we can get this sorted out in a few months you will be ok. Now I think a tutor will be needed. How about Edward he is top of the year and I know he would want to help you' she smiled
'Um', I replied, I still really didn't want Edward to know about this, but how could I say that?
I was about to reply to the teacher, when Edward came storming into the room.
'Of course I will' he smiled at the teacher.
I was waiting in the cafeteria for Bella again. I was getting really worried as the rest of Bella's class was in the cafeteria eating their lunch and there was no sign of Bella. She didn't usually take this long to get to the cafeteria, so where was she?
A minute later I was so anxious that I just had to find her just to make sure she was ok. I murmured to my sibling to look after Bella's food try as I was going to see where she had gone. As I reached her classroom I heard the teacher talking to her. What had happened? I quickly gathered it was over an exam.
A C- that's not bad, but was a low grade for Bella. I was confused did she slip up?
I listened on, trouble with her numbers, what I never noticed, but then again she had always done her maths homework before I got around, and obviously she had not got her maths lesson with me as I had PE with her when she had maths, the only two lessons we did not have together. I had managed to change my timetable to Bella's after we returned from Italy as I did not want to be away from any more than need. Unfortunately maths and PE I could not match.
Dyslexic? Why hadn't she even told me? I was suddenly upset was she struggling on her own, she thinks she's thick now that defiantly isn't true. I had to hold myself back as all I wanted to do is walk in there and sweep her up and tell her it would be ok.
I listened as she explained what she had to do everyday, and it hurt to know she had to try that hard, but at the same time I was proud of her. Proud of her for trying and for beating it.
I heard as her teacher told her she could get a B, I vowed right away to help her all I could to get her the B she deserves. That's over a whole grade that she could improve, I felt myself starting to smile. I knew she would get it.
The teacher seemed to have the same idea as me thinking she should have a tutor; me. I would do everything in my power to help. But why was she hesitating? Didn't she want me to help her? I stated to suddenly get angry why she didn't want my help I wanted to give it to her.
I stormed in the room giving myself away, 'Of course I will' I said.
The teacher turned around shocked, 'Ah Edward, good that's good'
'I just smiled and said 'I just want to help her reach her full potential' effectively ending the conversation.
As we were walking outside Bella was really quiet and I could smell salt water; tears.
Once the door closed I grabbed a hold of Bella and hugged her tightly to me. I could feel the tears over flow from her eyes as she started to cry.
'Shhh, Shh Bella' I said trying to comfort her
'I'm thick' she answered thought her sobs
'No, your not.' I tried to sooth. 'I am very proud of you, you've tried so hard and we will get you that B. But why did you not tell me?' I asked
She went bright red 'I did not know what was wrong with me, I thought I was thick, I still do' She started murmuring towards the end.
'You are not thick' I answered
'I can't even write the numbers down right' she replied
'Well that is where I come in' She smiled slightly. I could tell she was still embarrassed. 'Sweet heart there's nothing to be embarrassed about it is totally normal, and can be solved.'
She smiled more 'Really' she asked
'Yes, and we will do it together'