A/N: Wow, I haven't written anything in like...FOREVER. Anyways, I don't really know how this idea came to me, but it's been sitting in my journal for a while now. The Marauders will be featured in four (incredibly short) one-shots in a Wizard of Oz kind of theme. I hope you enjoy it! Remember, reviews are always welcome :)

Disclaimer: The Marauders and all other aspects of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter belong solely to the genius JK Rowling.


I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.

- "If I Only Had a Brain" The Wizard of Oz

A Brain: James Potter

There is no teacher at Hogwarts who would think twice in admitting that James Potter is a troublemaker. But then again, there is also no teacher who would dare be caught calling him a slacker.

Though James might not be as smart as his over-achieving friend Remus Lupin, there is no denying that he has a rather good head on his shoulders. James receives excellent grades – particularly in Transfiguration – and works hard to prove that he is not just another Quidditch playing-pretty boy-prankster.

But, if James Potter is so smart, why is it that Lily Evans, of all people, has the tendency to make him feel as if he has no brains whatsoever? It's not only the fact that Lily talks to him as if he is extremely dim-witted, it's also that whenever Lily is around, he has the incapability to form even a vaguely coherent and logical thought.

The empty-headedness that occurs in Lily's presence is quite unfortunate for James. It usually results in him making a total fool out of himself, something he always hopes that he doesn't do in front of her.

Unfortunately for him, James has done quite a number of stupid stuff over the past few years because of his proximity to Lily Evans. Most of them he has come to regret, but he would prefer to relive each and every one of those embarrassing moments if it would allow him to take back what had happened earlier that day. The situation that had taken place – regrettably in front of almost the whole school – that morning in the Great Hall easily surpassed each and every stupid thing he had ever done in his whole sixteen years of life.

For earlier that day, he approached Lily quite calmly as she sat chatting with her friends during breakfast, and he had asked her out. Of course, this in itself was not stupid; he had done this many times before and was ready for Lily's answer. For six years she turned him down, and he expected just as much that morning. And of course, he was not disappointed. Though, he was a little unsatisfied.

James was growing tired of this cycle of rejection that him and Lily seemed to be stuck in. He wanted something new to happen, something that could maybe take them on a new path.

So, it was then that James thought of an idea that, at the time, seemed brilliant, but ended up making number one on his, "Top 10 Dumbest Things I Have Ever Done" list.

At the time it seemed smart, even logical, to look Lily straight in her captivatingly green eyes and ask, "Why? Why won't you go out with me, Evans? Honestly? Tell me, I can take it."

But it turned out that James couldn't take it. He realized this when he saw the look in Lily's eyes. He had also realized that he just made a rather big mistake.

Lily Evans told James Potter why she didn't want to go out with him, and there was no denying that she was being honest. Actually, some who witnessed the scene would admit that she was being a bit too honest.

Lily gave James a list of reasons why she would not go out with him. Hell, if she wanted to, she probably could've written a book using only the reasons why she would never in a million years go out with James Potter.

With every reason Lily gave (which ranged from how she hated the way James constantly ruffled his hair to the fact that he always received better marks than her in Transfiguration) James began to feel more and more stupid. Almost everything Lily said was a huge blow to "his over inflated ego", and even worse, it all made James hate himself nearly as much as she obviously hated him.

Now James realizes that if he really is smart and really has any brains at all, he would have figured out that there are solid reasons for why Lily Evans dislikes him. But, it is now evident that James' head is actually in fact filled with nothing but fluff. He is the stupidest person in the world and had to make an equally stupid mistake to figure it out.

Oh, if only he had a brain, then maybe he would've realized sooner that in order for Lily Evans to like him as much as he liked her, he would have to stop being such a, "pompous, arrogant, dung-brained prick."