For Everyone

-When you are afraid of someone, make them work as a Scullery Maid.

-Mirrors don't lie.

-Standing by a wishing well is scandalous.

-Singing to yourself and waiting for a reply isn't 'crazy'.

-Birds can cry.

-Always take the advice of a man who was just about to kill you.

-Petting wild animals is a good, safe pastime.

-If you're pretty, communicating with animals doesn't make you a lonely person.

-If you knock twice on a stranger's door, and nobody answers within 1.4seconds, assume no one is home. Proceed to enter.

-Leave your doors unlocked.

-Peering into a stranger's home is perfectly acceptable if you intend to live there. Especially if they don't know your planning on living there.

-Let wild animals into a stranger's home.

-It is okay to call short, special ed. midgets 'Dopey'.

-You should always assume a mess involving a pickax was made be a group of children.

-Orphans make messes.

-Wild animals will not poop indoors.

-It is okay to invite yourself to live at someone's house, as long as you get a menagerie of wild animals to clean it before you meet the house owners.

-Animals will come and bend to your will if you sing pretty.

-Having animals do people-chores is not animal cruelty.

-Deer saliva is sanitary.

-It is okay to use a deer as a laundry rack.

-Old people are mean.

-Ugly people should be the first people you suspect of being evil.

-Apples are evil-they don't keep the doctor away.

-Hang the key right next to the door it opens, in plain veiw.

-Never mind the poor turtle.

-It's perfectly alright to make fun of children's names.

-Animals running away does not mean danger in the slightest.

-Cleanliness is 'dirty work'.

-Always send the special one to look at the unknown horror.

-Always wash before dinner!

-Laugh before asking if someone is okay.

-Water is wet.

-Rhyme about everything.

-A;ways make someone do something they don't want to if you think it should be done.

-Drugs help everything!-And make you look and sound old!

-Fruit is bad for your health.

-Tell strangers you're home alone.

-Do not stand on cliffs.

-Whatever you do-Don't move on with your life if you've found a pretty girl (or boy. Whatever mines your diamonds.)

-Dwarves are violent.

For Girls

-If you have troubles at home, go into the woods and live with seven lonely old men you've never met before.

-Size DOES matter.

-Just sleep and look pretty. Let the guys do all the work.

-It is okay to lead on seven older men who are technically a different species.

-If a man doesn't like you, ask God to make him like you. Especially if you don't want to go out with him.

-The men will save you. Or at least get revenge.

-Finding someone to marry is everything.

For Boys

-If you have troubles at home, go into the woods and live with seven lonely old men you've never met before.

-Fall in love with the pretty girl. Ignore the fact she's crazy, singing to herself, and you've never talked to her before.

-Kiss girls in comas.

-Females are Poosin!

-Staring at a sleeping girl isn't creepy.

-Don't mind the seven men guarding the girl of your dreams, even if they're holding pickaxes. It'll score you extra points.