SuprSingr: Yay! Pointless One-Shots! :D
NintendoGal55: Aren't they just the BEST ever? :D I knew you'd think so!
SuprSingr: Yep, we decided to do a quick One-Shot out of nowhere. How random can we be? :D
NintendoGal55: Random is right! And boy have we got a treat for you today! A little SuprNintendo piece just for you!
SuprSingr: OH! Quick thing, VERY IMPORTANT, "The Hey Arnold! Movie" NEVER occurred in this universe. NEVER. *Echos* Never... Never... Never... Never...
The following is a "SuprNintendo Production", written by both NintendoGal55 and SuprSingr.
Disclaimer: I don't own it!/Why can't we own it? WHY?
Arnold's Dialogue is in: Regular Text.
Helga's Dialogue is in: Italicized Text.
Hey, I'm Arnold. I do have a last name, just for those of you who don't know. I still don't understand how nobody knows it. My Grandpa says it to me all the time. It's Shortman. Yeah, I know. Ha ha. But I'm really not all that short anymore. I'm not all that tall, but I'm not short either. I'm about 5'6", and I'm 15, so I think I'm growing at a pretty decent pace for a boy. I had a growth spurt when I hit 14 that I was pretty giddy about. I gained about three inches that one time!
What's up? I'm Helga. Helga G. Pataki. What's the G stand for? I'll tell you.
GET OUT OF MY FACE!
Okay, okay, I don't really do that anymore. Granted, I'm still the me everyone remembers, of course, but I'm not just not the same as I was back when I was a kid. I've just kinda mellowed out over the years, you know? In high school, it's not so effective being a bully because for one, the student population is huge, two, there is ALWAYS someone, regardless of grade level, always has some kind of a higher level of "bully". So running around yelling "Outta my way, geekbaits!" and "One side, morons!", all that jazz, is just laughable to everyone now. So no, I don't exactly rule our class with an iron fist anymore. It just doesn't work that way. Not in high school, at least.
But other than my height, not much else has changed. My hair is still one big cowlick, and my head is still football shaped. Though it's not as overbearing anymore. It's like the same size as my mom's head, except it's a little more oblong. My mom says I got it from my grandpa. He had a head even more oblong than mine. But other than that, nothing has changed. Same head, same hair, same nose, same eyes... Except now I'm taller, and I'm a little toned from playing so many sports. I really like sports.
Well, I'm still feisty, have quite a temper, I'm aggressive, and never afraid to speak my mind, all that jazz. But let's just say it's more reserved for when it counts, you know? You can thank Arnoldo for that. But anyway, I've learned a little more, also thanks to him, to let more of my real self show through, being nice and all. He said it himself, "Being nice doesn't automatically mean being a throw pillow. You can still be nice, and strong at the same time."
Why does he have to know me so well? Why does everything he say about me have to be completely RIGHT?
Well, he's Arnold...and I just love him for that.
And yeah, I love Arnold. So what?
Okay, okay, I still do keep it a secret and I'm not very open about it, but I'm not as crazy as I was back when we were kids, and I'd freak out if any indication of my love for him came pouring out to his eyes, going as far as breaking into his house. Man was I crazy. But yes, overall, my love for him never changed. Hell, I'd go as far as to saying that it only got more and more INTENSE over the years. Especially since we're best friends now and all, we have been pretty much since the little truce we made back in San Lorenzo when I helped him find his parents. It's not love, and of course I want our relationship to be SO MUCH MORE, but I know that can never happen.
Nowadays I don't wear a sweater anymore. Now I wear a green-blue T-shirt, some jeans, and a plaid shirt over all that. I don't bother buttoning up the buttons, though. I did once, but Helga made fun of me the whole day, so I stopped. I also wear black sneakers, and I still wear my hat. I don't care what anyone says. I like my hat. It's like a part of me, and not having it on just feels weird. Plus, Helga says I look funny without it. So it's probably for the best that I still wear it.
But that's not to say puberty hasn't been VERY friendly to me. Now I'm no super model or anything, but I have to say, I really don't look half bad.
I'm a lot taller now, about 5'9", (hee hee, still towering over the ol' football head!) and I've been getting myself some sweet boobs here. I popped a bit at thirteen, and now they're still growing, I hope, and already they're a pretty good size for my age. I still wear my hair in pigtails, but not all the time. Sometimes it's in a ponytail, other times I'm just too lazy and leave it down. It's a lot longer too, and I've been taking more care of it. You know, to make myself presentable for the day. I still wear my bow. I think I'll wear it to my grave. It's just hidden under this blue cap that I wear these days. My facial features have softened a lot over the years, and I grew into my nose, and my lips aren't as weird as they were before, since the rest of my face grew into it too. And my eyebrow...yeah, I got rid of it when I was twelve. Nowadays I just let it do what it wants, and then see how I feel. Sometimes I keep it, other times I want the two brows. It depends. I don't mean to brag, but in my own way, I guess I'm pretty hot. I have a pretty good body going, my features are softer, I'm pretty tall...yeah, not so bad if you ask me.
Even if I could, it's not enough to win my beloved over. I'm NOTHING compared to girls like Lila, or even that new girl Blaire Bailey, or any other hot girl with a great personality. He could never feel the same way about me.
My friends are all the same for the most part, my best friend being Gerald. My other best friend is Helga, if you can believe that. Back in Elementary, when we went to San Lorenzo, she helped me find my parents. We kind of made a truce then, and ever since we've been really good friends. The only catch is... I think I love her.
Not in a friend way either. Back in San Lorenzo, I got a really bad crush on her. I mean, REALLY bad. Worse than my one on Lila even. Yeah, that's right. I liked her liked her. I know it's kind of hard to believe, but it's true. Somewhere during all the adventure and excitement and danger, I ended up getting a crush on her. I didn't realize it fully until the end of everything, though. I'd suspected it, of course, but I didn't have much time to really think about it, and plus, I didn't WANT to have a crush on her. She'd kill me if she found out. And to make matters worse, she HATED me!
She doesn't hate me anymore, of course (We're best friends), but I know she doesn't like me like me either. So all this time I've had a HUGE crush on her, and she hasn't liked me back. And NOW I'm starting to think I'm in love with her; Which is really bad. Having a crush on her all this time and knowing she doesn't feel the same has been bad enough, but NOW I have to deal with being in love her? What is she going to do when she finds out? She trusts me. We're best friends, and adding me being in love with her is just going to make things awkward between us and ruin our friendship. No, that can't EVER happen. That's part of the reason I never told her I had a crush on her. I'd hoped my feelings for her would fade like they had with every other girl I've ever liked, but it's only gotten worse.
What kind of a best friend am I?
I really want to tell him. I know I can't, and I shouldn't...I mean, I'll only end up getting hurt, I know it! Of course I know better now, Arnold would just simply say in his nice, sweet way that he doesn't feel the same way. Sure, he wouldn't make me feel stupid for being in love with him, but the fact he wouldn't love me back, it hurts. But at the same time, I just want to pour everything out to him, grab him to me and shower him with kisses and all the love and affection I hold for him.
Sure, being his best friend allows me to be nice to him and to give him SOME sort of affection, even if it has to remain strictly platonic and friendly, even bordering sweet. But that's it. It would ruin our friendship if he knew I loved him, and the last thing I want to do is lose him over it. It wouldn't be a dramatic, horrendous "I hate you, don't ever come near me again, we're no longer friends" kind of thing, like I said, he's Arnold. But, it would get awkward, weird, and slowly but surely drive us apart. I can't let that happen! Maybe I want to be with him so bad, but I want to be around him, and if I lose him, well, it'll just kill me inside.
What kind of best friend am I?
She's a wonderful best friend, and we do almost EVERYTHING together. Ever since Gerald and Phoebe made their relationship more public, it sort of gave us more of an auportunity to work on our friendship. We go to the movies together, we hang out at eachothers' houses (Mostly mine, Big Bob doesn't really like me, and he scares me...), and we go to baseball and football games together. I love doing things with her, but it just doesn't feel like it's enough, ya know? The whole time I've had a crush on her I've really wanted to just hold her hand and stuff like that, but I've just started realizing how intense it's gotten since then. Like... now I want to... kiss her... and... grab her, and do... things...
How much am I blushing? My face feels like it's on fire! Is that normal?
But I can't help it. Have you SEEN her nowadays? She's so... pretty and... Why can't I stop blushing?
But no, really, I mean, her hair is all golden and it's grown really long now and she's so petite looking. Though appearances can be deceiving, because she can beat up most anyone who crosses our path (She once beat up this really buff jock who was hitting on her... he deserved it too, if you ask me). But she's really slender and willowy looking, and her legs are really-... I can't help it, okay? I don't mean to sound so shallow about all this, but I've always been a sucker for a pretty face I guess. Helga pointed that out to me a few years back, and I've been realizing it more and more as time has gone on. I spend more time than I'd like to admit staring at her when she isn't looking. Granted, no matter how she looked, I think I'd think she was pretty. Back when we were still kids I pointed that out a lot to Gerald (That I thought Helga was really pretty), and he just did what he always did... Threaten to throw up if I didn't shut up. Oh well...
But I can't help but stare at her a lot, okay? I'm a boy, and fifteen, and she's a girl, a really beautiful girl... who I happen to really, really, really like... a lot... possibly love... probably love...
A lot of the girls want to practically dip Arnold in chocolate, and that just INFURIATES me! They want him for two reasons alone. I'd love to say it was over something shallow like his looks, but no, that's not it. They want him for two reasons. One, he's the infamous "nice guy" of the school, the go-to boy, the neighbourhood peacemaker. They want the rush of being with the boy all the nice girls want. And two, stability. They know Arnold will be the best boyfriend.
Bitches. They don't know him like I do. They're all a bunch of ditzy airheads, which is NOT cute, it's annoying. He'd never go for them. Not for long anyway. I know how he works. Ooooh, but they STILL flirt with him, expose their cleavage...jeez, what are these girls, whores?
...Okay, I won't quite deny that I've worn a low-cut top and bent over a little low so Arnold will get a glimpse of my cleavage. But I only ever do that when we're alone! Maybe I do attempt to flirt with him a bit, but it's innocent! I swear! When you're a girl hiding your love for a boy, you don't necessarily tell him things regarding that you...you know, want them to do things to you. No matter how much I want that...
Ah! Can't think about that! NO! Bad! Bad girl!
Anyway...he is such a CUTIE! How could you not want that? To me, he's just perfect-looking. He may not be some kind of a drool-worthy Adonis, and he's nowhere near drop-dead ugly either, he's...well, perfect. Whatever he is, it works for him, and I just love it. To me he's handsome, and just so hot.
I can't help it! I'm fifteen, a girl, and so in love with him! How could I not love his looks? I always have. Sure I love his personality and mannerisms, good and bad, so much more, his looks are a bonus!
Oh Arnold my love...
I really wish boys would leave her alone. I've caught a lot of them staring at her with drool hanging out of one side of their mouth. Now, I can understand thinking Helga was pretty (Do I have to rant again? Because I can go on for hours if you want me to), but do they have to be so obvious about it? Don't they understand she's mine? ...Well, she's not 'mine' technically, but she is my best friend, and I love her. Yes, I admit it. I think I have for a while, I just haven't really thought about it too much. I've just kind of rolled with it, you know? I've just been noticing how intense my feelings have gotten.
But as I was saying, all the boys are always all over her. But they only like her because she's pretty.
I know I was just raving about how much I liked how she looks, but I really DO like her for more than just how cute she looks in her pink bow (So cute). Back in San Lorenzo, I started really liking her for her bravery, her will power, her passion... And I really got to know the girl behind the mask. She's a really sweet girl underneath it all, and a genuinely fun person to be with. I really liked her back then. The whole liking how she looks thing came AFTER all that.
But once we became best friends, I really got to know her more and more, and the more I got to know her, the more I started liking her, and after a while, the more I started to... love her...
It's really hard to love your best friend. Sometimes I have to physically restrain myself from lunging at her. Whenever she looks at me with her big blue eyes and says something sweet or even sarcastic, I have to practically bite my finger off to keep myself from kissing her. Sometimes she asks me why I always have my finger in my mouth, and I have to make an excuse that I had an itch or that I have a habit of chewing my nails.
But while I'm staring at her eyes, all those other boys are staring at her... um, upper area.
See what I mean? And they're always asking her out too. Thankfully she hasn't gone out with anyone for a while. I don't even think she realizes how much attention she's getting. But she's one of the prettiest girls in our grade. She's even had seniors staring at her before.
Why was I cursed with falling in love with someone who has everyone after her? It's only a matter of time before she's taken, and I can't tell her I love her without ruining our friendship.
Oh, why me?
If this keeps up, I am going to SNAP.
I swear to God if this keeps up, I'm going to give in and just lunge at him, grab him and kiss him with ALL that I have. Every time I'm near him, I have to bite my hat to prevent my brain, heart and hormones telling my mouth to go for it. Arnold never knew why I chewed on my hat, since I always said it was a nervous habit I have. You know, one of those nervous ticks.
Hell, I have a hard enough time when he HUGS me. Oh GOD his hugs... I remember when we were kids, he used to give me a hug when I did something he liked. And there was that one time he showed up at Gerald Field, in his PJ's, when he was supposed to be visiting his cousin Arnie, came to me and said "Wow Helga, it really is you!" and then just hugged me. For no reason. Why did he do that? Still to this day I don't know why. He acted as if he MISSED me or something! I don't get it. Why did he do that?
Well anyway, he hugs me quite a bit, he always has since we became friends. He's a very huggy person, but funny though, he doesn't hug any other of his girl pals. Just me. I guess being his best friend has its perks! But really, other than his family members, I'm really the only person he hugs. To my knowledge anyway. And yeah, I did used to push him away, but I don't do that anymore. We're best friends, so it doesn't matter if he hugs me, he'll think I enjoy it because we're buddies. When our friends or anyone else is around, okay, maybe I pull back after some time, but when we're alone, hell, he can do nothing but hug me and I wouldn't care! I love his hugs...being in his arms makes me feel so warm, so safe... I savour and cherish every hug.
He even sometimes puts his arm around me when we watch movies together, at the theatre or at his house. I always want SO MUCH to cuddle into him, but I'm always scared of freaking him out.
Oh well. I'll settle for his hugs for now. His hugs always make me feel better.
You know what's fun? Hugging her.
Why am I even talking about this? I don't know. I just felt the sudden impulse.
But I love to hug her. It's my default, I guess. Every time I can't handle it, I hug her. I think it annoys her, though. She lets me do it, but only when we're alone. When we're out in public, she gets a little squirmy if I do it for too long, but I can't help it. She's so warm and soft. And it helps to keep me from pushing her against walls and kissing her... a lot.
I've got to keep myself in check somehow.
She really has to stop being so wonderful. Well, then again, I never want her to stop, because I love it, but at the same time if she doesn't stop I'm going to end up doing something really bad (Well, it'll be good at first, but at the end it will be VERY bad).
Why can't she love me? What don't I have? What am I missing? What does she want?
Why can't he love me? What don't I have? What am I missing? What does he want?
I ask myself that just about every day.
What can I do to make him love me? What can I do to make him look at me the way he looks at those other girls he's ever crushed on? Strange though, sometimes I catch him looking at me like that. ...HA! No way, he must be looking PAST me. It can't be at me.
Oh, what I'd do to get him to look at me that way...
But that's just it. I don't deserve him. I never did. After the way I treated him before. And even if I didn't treat him as such, I STILL wouldn't deserve him. No one does, to be honest. Sweet Arnold... I want you so much, but I know I don't deserve you. Did I ever? Never. I stole his first kiss!
I remember that so well. The night of the school play, Romeo & Juliet. I'd gone through lying to Rhonda, Sheena and Phoebe...and had no success with Lila, and had to tell her the truth. Aside from Dr. Bliss at the time, Lila was the only one who knew about my feelings for Arnold. Even to this day she kept the secret... I guess that was cool of her. Even if I resented her for so long. I did ALL OF THAT to get the role of Juliet, to kiss him. And boy did I kiss him. I kissed him for an ENTIRE MINUTE. I'll never forget it. It was one minute of heaven I'll never forget. His sweet, soft lips against mine...they fit perfectly against my own. Maybe he didn't kiss back, since he WAS supposed to play dead, and I know he didn't expect ME of all people to be his first kiss...but HA! Take that, whores out there! I'M his first kiss!
We kissed a second time too, I remember that. After I saved him from that whore...I mean Beach Bunny, Summer, we built an awesome sandcastle, and won the contest, and got to guest-star on "Babewatch". Good times, good times. Long story short, I had to pretend to give him mouth-to-mouth, and once more I kissed him for who-knows-how long. Ah...
So I have two heavenly kisses with him to look back on. I'll never be able to kiss another boy without comparing it to the sweet awesome feel of Arnold's heavenly, delicious lips...
Maybe, just maybe, one day, I can kiss him one last time.
But would he let me? How would I do it? I can't just say "Hey Arnold, want to kiss?", I just can't!
If I did, I'd just want to EVEN MORE.
Ohhhh, man... I want to kiss her so much! I've never really wanted to kiss a girl before, only her. She drives me absolutely NUTS sometimes. She likes to wear these flavored lip glosses and brag about how they taste good (She says that's the only reason she wears them, so she can lick them off). Doesn't she realize what she's doing to me? She even wore raspberry lip gloss once. I couldn't think about anything the entire day but "Never eat raspberries. Never eat raspberries." Do you have any idea how much I wanted to eat raspberries?
I've never gotten to kiss her! Not once! I keep trying to remember back to how her lips felt when she kissed me for all those script kisses. But even then I didn't kiss back. Heck, I COULDN'T kiss back. I had to pretend I was dead.
And furthermore, we're best friends and nothing more. I can't just lean over and kiss her for no good reason. She'll ask why I did it, and then I'll have to confess that I love her, and then she'll slap me or something. Oh, Helga...
She's never going to like me either. I'm not her type. I'm not good enough. I'm lucky to just be her best friend. But I don't deserve her, no matter how much I hate to admit it. She deserves so much better than me. I'm just some lovesick fifteen year old with a football head. What could she ever see in me other than friendship?
As I sit here...the sun caught in his golden hair...his eyes how they scorch my soul...All of him is blazing me out of all control... Like fire, Hellfire...This fire in my skin... This burning desire, is turning me to sin...
I get too lost in my poetry sometimes, that I don't even realize how I write it! Jeez, I really am a basket case. Not the first time my love has driven me to madness. I swear I'm insane. Love...it really can drive someone to madness, can't it? I've felt that for a long time, you could swear I was practically immune to it. But no. The madness STILL haunts me even to this day.
I'm under his spell. No other boy has ever, or ever will, make me feel this way. I know more than ever that I can never love someone else like I love Arnold. It's that kind of love that comes once in a lifetime. Sure...maybe one day I'd fall for someone else, but NEVER like Arnold. No, no other boy could compare to him. Sure, there are other boys out there, yeah yeah, I know. I know.
But there's only Arnold...my darling, my dearest, my curse, and my blessing.
Does he know what he's doing to me? Does he know how hard it is for me not to pounce on him like a hungry lion in need of food?
That's it. The next time we're alone, I'm kissing him. I'm going to make out with him. I'm going to-
There I go again!
I have to stop doing that.
Oh, Helga... She's never going to love me back...
Oh Arnold... He's never going to love me back...
She'll never know how I feel.
He'll never know how I feel.
And no matter what I do or say, we're never-
What am I going to do?