Title: Swinging in a Balance
Summary: The gun looked so sleek, so beautiful, that he wished that he didn't have to have his blood smeared across it, that he didn't have to drop it through his soon-to-be lifeless hands.
Warning: T for a reason, kiddies
Length: About 640, give or take


It was about time for him to go.

He'd end up one of those corpses, one on Ducky's tables. The good doctor would cluck his tongue, shake his head, and say, "My dear boy, what could have driven you to this?"

He'd end up bringing tears to Abby's eyes. She'd break down, and throw herself on McGee, crying out, "How could he do this to us, Timmy? How could he be so selfish?"

He'd end up with McGee trying to calm her hysterics, while the Probie shook his head and wondered if he caused this, if he was the one to make it wrong.

He'd end up with Ziva refusing to go to his funeral. The former Mossad officer wouldn't want anyone to see her crying in her apartment, her voice cracking as she shattered things against the wall.

And Gibbs? The former marine would be stunned, and feel guilty. Especially with no note left behind, to explain what had happened, to reason with the conscience the team leader would be feeling.

Tony didn't care- not at all, really.

Agent Anthony DiNozzo was tired of seeing lifeless children, of hearing crying wives, of seeing worried fathers and washed up drug addicts on their doorstep. He'd seen cops go bad, agents killed, the massacre of someone who had been the victim of a psychopath. He'd seen too much, really, and it finally was driving him to collapse, to exhaustion, to the brink and sending him flying over the edge with a laugh that would be envied by Helena Bonham Carter.

Tony knew there would be an investigation. The team would refuse to believe that he would kill himself. Ducky would pour over his corpse, Palmer would stutter and stammer while handing him the tools, Abby would go day and night trying to find his "killer," Ziva would seethe, and consider the most painful way to kill someone, McGee would go through his records, and Gibbs would silently fume.

A knock came at his door, and Tony stilled, hoping that it was just his next door neighbor. The knock came again, persistently, and Tony saw the door slam open as the locks were picked.

Ziva froze, with Gibbs behind her. Instantly, she tried to take a step forward, but the Boss pulled her back, restraining her.

"Tony," Gibbs reasoned, and Tony smiled grimly. At least they wouldn't need to waste time on an investigation. After all, here were the witnesses to his own suicide, the people closest to him. "Don't do this," the gunny's voice was cajoling, his tone soft as he approached Tony like he would a rabid animal. Tony tightened his hand on the trigger, safety long clicked off and smiled.

It was fitting that the weapon that killed him be the one that had saved him and his team so many times.

DiNozzo shrugged, and gestured towards Ziva with his free hand.

"Here's to looking at you kid," he said, tiredness mixing with the solemn note in his voice.

And he pulled the trigger, not caring about everything he was leaving behind.

The gunshot was deafening in the resulting silence.



So… I almost had him wake up in the hospital, after a failed suicide attempt, but that's a story for another day…

I think it is fitting that Tony went out, not only with a bang (and not quietly, as Gibbs suggested on an episode once, was it Chimera?) but with a movie quote. Go figure.

Oh? And kiddies? Suicide is baaaaaaaad! So don't go killing yourself, ya hear?