Title: Catnip

Summary: It's a full moon night and Naruto has nothing to do. Sasuke's always missing once a month, so Naruto figures he'll drop by his place and see what he gets up to. But it seems he's not the only restless one… NaruSasuNaru, PWP, one-shot. Graphic lemon.

Words: 2884

Warnings: This is a one-shot NaruSasu/SasuNaru (depending on how you look at it) PWP (porn without plot / plot? what plot?) with a semi-werecat, violence, dubious consent, and general graphic gay sex.

Disclaimer: Naruto is the intellectual property of Kishimoto and I make no profit.

What is it with all the PWPs lately? This time a friend of mine was telling me about her crazy cat, then suggested a werecat PWP in which we all get to humiliate Sasuke a little. Cracky premise, here we come! Sasuke gets a little crack too… haha xD Enjoy.


Naruto yawned and stretched, falling back into the cool grass, and stared up at the stars. The moon was full, offering him light in the evening. He located a couple of constellations, then gave up because they were fake ones anyway.

He was fucking bored.

There was nothing to do on a night like tonight, and he was restless. He was in the mood to do something – maybe someone – but there was nothing and no one to be done. All the guys were working or some shit like that, and all the girls he knew were either in bed with someone else or too busy for a romp. Even his cat, Ukki, was being a lazy ass, although he couldn't say he really wanted animal company at the moment. No, he would much prefer the feel of a soft, curvy body tonight… or a hard, angular one; he wasn't feeling too picky.

Well, maybe he would entertain Ukki for a little bit. Not that there was anything to give her; all the toys had been shredded up or lost by now and he was out of catnip. He sat up, went inside to grab his wallet, and headed for the pet store.

He took a longer route back, just to pass some time, and passed by the Uchiha neighbourhood. Where was Sasuke, anyway? Seemed every month he flat-out refused to go out for a night and holed himself up at home, no matter what anyone said to him. Naruto racked his brains, trying to figure out this anomaly, but the only thing he could think of was that Sasuke was trying to get a girl pregnant. But that was just ridiculous. Sasuke didn't seem the type to have a kid – he was too stingy and self-centred to be a father. He wasn't married or even hooked, anyway, so that'd be just plain scandalous, and Naruto was pretty sure he was gay. Maybe he'd drop by and see what sort of secret Sasuke was hiding.

Not bothering to knock or ring the doorbell, he cautiously stepped inside the bungalow, closing the door silently behind him. Sasuke was nowhere to be found; his open-concept living area, kitchen, and dining room were empty and immaculate, almost as though no one ever lived here. Why did Sasuke have such a huge place, anyway, living alone? Maybe he was hiding a girl, and eloping right here at home. If that was the case, they'd be in the bedroom…

As he walked down the hall, he noticed that the bedroom door was open, and he could hear panting, moaning, and the occasional mewl – must be the girl. He neared the room and saw bare feet leading to bare legs dangling off the bed. Wouldn't it be really awkward to walk in on his best friend getting it on with a girl? After all, he hadn't been invited – he hadn't even announced his arrival. Yeah, that would be pretty awkward… but to hell with it. It was worth Sasuke hating him for a little bit, because their friendship wouldn't tumble over something like that. Bros before hoes, he reminded himself. He steeled himself and barged in.

"Hey, Sasuke, who're you f—holy fuck."

He dropped his shopping bag, and the contents went everywhere. Sasuke was alone, but that wasn't the point. He was lying totally nude on his stomach on the tousled sheets, sprawled out like a man dying of heat, arching his back painfully as the moon emerged from behind a cloud, its light striking him from the window. As Naruto watched in astonishment, a long, thin tail sprouted from the base of Sasuke's spine, curling upwards as thick black fur grew rapidly upon it. His ears stretched and moved upwards and became triangular, also sprouting fur. Sasuke snarled and growled, lips curling back, as his nails and teeth lengthened and sharpened. He turned his head towards Naruto, and his eyes were bright yellow, flashing in the low light, and his pupils were slits.

"N-Naruto," he panted, humiliation clear in his face but the pain too overwhelming for him to move. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Th…thought I'd drop by," he managed to say, in a weak voice. "Um, Sasuke, you've got…"

Sasuke glanced over to where Naruto was gesturing at his tail and scowled. "I'm aware." He was still breathing heavily, now lying limp on the bed, recuperating from his transformation. He turned over and buried his face in the pillow, and said in a muffled voice, "Fuck. You're not supposed to see this."

"What are you?" asked Naruto, voice betraying more curiosity than fear.

"Werecat," he grumbled. "Uchiha curse."

Naruto wasn't sure what to say. Eventually he managed, "You mean, like a werewolf? Shouldn't you have… more fur?"

He looked at Naruto over his shoulder with such a piercing glare that Naruto took a step back. "I should, but this is all I can ever get." He gritted his teeth, his cheeks burning.

"W-well, if it's of any consolation to you, I think it's cute this way," Naruto offered. "Any more fur and you'd just look—"

"It's not about how I look to you," he snapped. "Do you see any furless cats running around? No. Everyone else is out hunting, because they don't look like naked mole rats."

Naruto walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He tried to put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, but the werecat swiped at him with his claws, so he stopped trying.

"Don't tell anyone," Sasuke murmured. "I don't give a damn if they know werecats exist – I'm kind of bitter about it, can you tell? – but word would get out that I'm…"

"Stunted?"

"Thanks," he said, dropping icicles with his voice.

"No problem." Naruto realized what he was saying and stopped. "Oh, shit, Sasuke, I'm sorry. Uh… do you do catnip?"

Though Sasuke was still facing away, his ears twitched, perking up with interest.

"Only I got some for Ukki and, well, if it makes you feel better…"

Naruto stood and gathered his purchases back into the bag, then set it aside. He chose a mouse-shaped toy filled with catnip and returned to the bed, sitting cross-legged facing Sasuke, who was curled up with his back to the blonde. Naruto dangled the toy by its tail in front of Sasuke's face. He heard sniffing, then Sasuke jumped for it, snapping his jaws. He ended up on all fours facing Naruto, tail swishing slowly, yellow eyes fixed on the toy.

"Wow, Sasuke, I didn't know you liked catnip so much. You've never reacted to it when you've been at my place."

"I'm not a cat when I'm at your place," he said flatly, still watching the mouse. He made a swipe with his hand, but Naruto tugged it out of his path. Sasuke lost his patience and chased Naruto around the mattress, finally pinning him, but Naruto shoved it under his back.

"Ass," Sasuke growled, reaching after it, but Naruto's hand was still clasped around the toy.

"I've never seen you this excited," Naruto said casually, but there was a huge grin on his face. "Even Ukki doesn't go this ape-shit for catnip."

"I never get catnip!" Sasuke said, almost in a yowl. "Come on, just a bit."

"You. Are. Adorable," Naruto smirked.

"You asshole, just gimme the damn toy!"

Naruto yanked it from under his back and flung it to the other side of the bed. Sasuke followed like a hooked fish, fastening his fangs around it. He curled up on the pillows and chewed it with satisfaction, even ignoring the fabric of the mouse toy that encased the catnip.

"So, you're just gonna sit here and get high?" Naruto asked in amusement, sitting up now that he was free. "Is that safe?"

"Mrr," Sasuke replied, clawing at the toy. He dropped it and licked his lips, blinking slowly at Naruto, pupils dilating. "Naru…"

"Uh, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's cheeks flushed and he shook his head as though to get a fly off, ears twitching back and forth. He slunk up to Naruto, face coming close. Naruto could smell the catnip on Sasuke's breath, but it did nothing for him – he just felt confused and a little weirded out. Sasuke was contemplating him with a hungry look in his yellow eyes. They flashed in the moonlight, and then he darted forward and licked Naruto's cheek.

"What the—"

Sasuke opened his mouth further, fangs showing, and drew his tongue long and slow across Naruto's pulse. Naruto's breath caught and he tensed, but Sasuke simply gave him a few smaller kitten licks. Then he rubbed his cheek against Naruto's whisker-scars.

"Naru," he repeated, then, "Nyaru. Nyaa…"

"E-excuse me?"

"Nyaru," said Sasuke, and pushed him back on the bed, licking and rubbing at his neck. "Ne, Nyaru, I'm hot. Aren't you hot?"

"It's actually kinda chilly," Naruto lied; the awkwardness of the situation was making his face flush and his body feel warm.

But Sasuke ignored him anyway. "Here, let me help you get out of those clothes."

"But Sasuke, you're not wearing anything, isn't this kinda awkwaaaa—" His words turned into a cry as Sasuke lifted his hips up into the air and pulled down his pants and boxers in one go. He tossed them into a corner, letting Naruto flop unceremoniously back down. Then he leaned forward to get his shirt.

"Sasuke, would you cut it out?" he said, struggling, then froze when Sasuke's legs began to rub against his. The side of Sasuke's knee slid against Naruto's bare hip. He could feel that tail brushing past his ankle now and then. A ripping sound and a sudden draft caught his attention, and he looked down to see his shirt in shreds, torn apart at the front. "H-hey!"

"There, now you won't be so hot." Sasuke tugged the ruined garment out from under Naruto, then lowered his torso, fitted his head in the crook of Naruto's neck, and began to rub against him. Naruto swallowed, throat dry. He knew Ukki had a tendency to rub herself all over everything when she was on catnip. It looked like Sasuke was doing the same thing – only they were both stark naked and Sasuke was starting to utter low moans into his ear.

"Mm, Nyaru," purred Sasuke, a deep rumbling coming from his chest with every breath. Naruto could feel something growing hard against his hip and was trying desperately not to let the friction call his own blood down south.

"I'm not sure this is right," he said in a rush as Sasuke continued to move against him. "I mean, you're my best friend, Sasuke, but I can't say I – well no, that's a lie, I have dreamed of being in bed with you and you're really hot but – but but but this is really weird! You're acting like a cat, and in all honesty that's more cute than hot – it is really hot, but you remind me of Ukki and I'm not really into bestiality and I feel like a paedophile and I—mmph!"

Sasuke pressed his lips against Naruto's a little longer, then drew back. "Why do you always talk so much, Nyaru?"

"Did you listen to a word I said?" Naruto exclaimed.

"Shh. I'll calm you down. Relax, Nyaru."

Sasuke licked Naruto on the lips, then moved downward, leaving a trail of saliva down the blonde's body. Naruto squirmed, but had given up trying to protest by now, and Sasuke seemed to take this as encouragement – his licks became longer and more sensual, his breath setting the wet skin tingling. Sasuke's eyes were closed, his ears at an angle suggesting pleasure, his tail snaking around one of Naruto's legs. Naruto wasn't sure what he was doing – rather, what he was letting Sasuke do – but he wasn't sure he cared anymore. It didn't matter, really, did it? Sasuke seemed to be enjoying himself, and it seemed like these full moon nights were always a burden to him – perhaps it would be nice to give him a reason to feel good for one night. He was Naruto's best friend, after all, and Naruto had to admit he's envisioned Sasuke's lean form in bed with him more than once. Maybe not with the werecat add-ons, though.

Naruto's train of thought was abruptly halted as those kitten licks moved to his semi-erect member. His eyes snapped open and he looked down to meet a piercing yellow gaze, almost feral, so intense he felt his cock get a little harder. Sasuke noticed this and engulfed it with his mouth. Naruto's head flew back and he groaned, then froze as he felt sharp teeth graze his manhood – but Sasuke was careful and gentle, and before long he was standing full at attention. He subconsciously moved his hips, trying to get more of that warm, slick cavern.

Sasuke lifted his head, dropping Naruto's erection. "Slow down, Nyaru," he murmured. He reached up and pressed the heels of his hands gently into Naruto's stomach, pushing upwards, almost like a massage. He stretched as he went, smoothing his hands along Naruto's skin, hips in the air and legs on either side of Naruto. Sasuke's hands slipped over Naruto's shoulders and came to support the werecat on either side of Naruto's head. Sasuke licked Naruto's ear gently. "Nyaru, I want you."

"Nnh," was all Naruto could say.

"Please?" He drew the tip of his tongue along the inside shell of the blonde's ear, and Naruto was hard pressed to say no with Sasuke's ass pressing against his erection like that. He reached down, aligned the head of his member with Sasuke's entrance, and thrust in.

Sasuke's back immediately arched, his forehead bumping against Naruto's. He cried out with a howl similar to the sounds Naruto had heard him making before he'd walked in on him transforming, only now there was no pain in his voice – only pleasure. Sasuke lifted his hips and dropped them again, falling to his elbows, craning his neck to kiss Naruto. Naruto wrapped his arms around the werecat's back, fingers threading through thick black hair, and brushed a spot behind Sasuke's pointed cat ear; Sasuke gasped and tightened around Naruto, who knew he'd touched a sensitive area. He scratched behind Sasuke's ear, and soon the werecat was groaning uncontrollably, mewling his name.

"Nyaa, Nyaru," he panted, wriggling his hips. "Faster, hurry, I – nnah—"

"S-Sasuke," Naruto grunted, blinking sweat-slicked hair from his eyes, then winced as claws dug into his shoulders. "Ow – claws, Sasuke—!"

But Sasuke wasn't listening; he sat up and dragged his claws down Naruto's chest yowled at the moon and came, his tail constricting tight around Naruto's leg even as his muscles clamped down on Naruto's member. Naruto's chest stung and his scratches were beginning to bleed, but he braced himself as Sasuke continued to ride him until he found his own release within the werecat's body. Then, exhausted and hurting like hell, he flopped back with a heavy sigh. He fell asleep to the sensation of a soft tongue lapping at his injuries.

When Sasuke stirred that morning, his movement awoke Naruto. The first thing the blonde noticed was that Sasuke was back to his usual, completely human shape. The second thing he noticed was that his injuries were already half-healed. Maybe werecat saliva had healing properties? He knew animals often licked their wounds…

Sasuke's eyes opened. "Wh-wha… Naruto?" he grunted, peering blearily at his friend. "What are you doing h—oh. Oh god no."

"What?"

"You – we – last night—" was all that came out of Sasuke's mouth as the memories spilled back into his head. A stinging ache in his ass confirmed the scene as fact. "Fuck."

"Well, yes, that's one way to put it," Naruto said. He rolled onto his stomach and smiled at Sasuke. "Hate to break it to ya, Sasuke, but damned if you're not downright adorable on full moon nights."

Sasuke buried his face in the pillow. "You weren't supposed to know. And – and why were you the one fucking me!"

"Hey, you asked for it. And you didn't complain when we got on with it, so—"

"That's not the point!" he hissed, almost like a cat would, but the effect was muffled in the pillow. "As if I don't have enough humiliation to deal with already."

Naruto took pity on him and rubbed gentle circles into his back. "Hey, at least you weren't eloping with a girl and trying to have a kid."

"W-what?"

"It was my original theory as to why you holed yourself up every month. Crazy, I know, right? I think it's better this way."

"How the hell is this better than anything?" Sasuke growled.

"What, you'd rather have a noisy brat running around your house?" Naruto smiled wider and kissed Sasuke on the cheek. "It's better because I'm here."

"Self-centred idiot."

"Well, now you'll have someone to help you get through it. Right?"

Sasuke peeked out from the pillow.

"We're best buds, aren't we? Maybe I'm not a girl, and neither of us can bear children, but I'll sure come share your bed once a month." He grinned.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed Naruto's face away with a hand, but he was smiling.


Yeah, I like messing around with Sasuke. So much pride… The higher you fly, the harder you fall!

I've finished my other fanfiction (the one I talked about in chapter 83 of Two Face) and I'm looking for a couple of beta readers to tell me what they think. It's about 22,000 words long, set in the original canon universe, and it's a kind of Sasuke-centric NaruSasu. No smut, but descriptions of gore, so T or M. I'm looking for someone who'll be critical and mostly looking out for themes and concepts and not so much just plot or events. PM me if you're interested, and tell me your strengths! :)

R+F