A/N: It's been a while since I last written any pieces of fanfic as well as this is my first time writing a Durarara! story so this multi chapter thingo will probably be a bit like a muscle flex or test drive for me. I apologise if the characters are ooc and the storyline is a little messed up, since I was just introduced to the madly intoxicating series this week. The setting is Celty having reunited with her head (I'll make up how later). Oh and yeah I know Shinra is not as mean as this.
"I'm like Tinkerbell, I need applause to live!" - Rachel Berry, Glee ep 'Laryngitis'
The above quote should sum up how I feel about reviews :)
I DO NOT OWN DURARARA! NOR SEEK ANY CLAIM TO IT. THE RESPECTIVE CHARACTERS AND SERIES BELONG TO ITS RIGHTFUL CREATORS.
Edit: Here's a funfact for ya'll : Shizuo hates beer. In fact, he's a sweet tooth milk loving fighter :D
A dark shadow raced through the streets of Ikebukuro, the city of chaos and madness. Yet, through all this madness the lone, black, elegant force swept through it without a sound, without disrupting anyone at all. The shadow was like an irrepressible force, one that could not be stopped, like a strong gust of wind or a crashing storm. Yet, unlike these strong elements, this one was just silent. It brought about it an aura of fear and mystery, but it wasn't destroying anything. At the moment.
That actual force was a legend of the crazy, doomed city. An ancient myth, if you will, told for 20 years. Residents kept out of its way while new comers feared it with a feeling of curiosity and terror. This force was known as the Headless Rider, a doomed being said to be searching for its head, living in agony and pain, terrorising all those in its way until it found its prize.
But to people like him, she would simply be known as 'Celty'.
'How could he! How could he do this to me! After so long...' The Dullahan thought furiously, as she sped through the deserted streets.
Having been reunited with her head, albeit a miniscule gap in between the joint due to her reconnection with human feelings which had been stitched up so that a little scar wound be left remaining, Celty would have felt in the past overjoyed and relieved.
Twenty years, twenty long years of waiting, of having to move from her sweet homeland to a desolate place such as this, she would have thought that her soul would be happy enough to rest in peace.
But it wasn't.
And that was what unsettled her more than anything.
When she and her head reconnected, it was like a jolt of electricity was running down her spine and flowing through her nerves. All these memories, of the sweet cottage she lived in in Ireland, to her first ever experience with autumn, to the memories of she and her horse galloping across blizzard swept fields. She also recalled her personality being much darker, much more emotionless, much more lonely. Which was a surprise, because she believed that you couldn't get any more lonely than you possibly could in a city like this.
She didn't want to turn back to that part of herself, where all she had was herself and her horse and her duties, not now when she was practically a human, even if it already was partly intergrated in her system and merging with her human-gain essence and traits.
But even if that was terrifying enough, that wasn't what had made her so on edge.
That name brought so many emotions to her mind when she thought of it.
Happiness, when he was just with her.
Frustration, for when he was stubborn and a little difficult.
Joy, for when he told her how much he loved her.
Embarrassment, for when he would tell her seriously how much he loved her.
Relief, for when she realised how much he accepted her as she was.
And even worry, for the times he seemed distracted and hurt.
Never did she think, at one moment in a 100 years that the word hurt would come to add to the list.
She loved him, or had loved him, but things had changed. Earlier this night, to be more exact.
Her new aqua eyes blinked and blurred with tears as she recalled the previous past hours.
- Three hours ago -
Celty's heart had been pumping with excitement. Izaya had negotiated with her 'free of charge' (but she knew there would be some sort of catch sooner or later) to give her back her head if she went to meet him at 7 pm sharp at the park. Neverminding the fact that Izaya was probably posessing ulterior motives out of such a bold action, she delivered the news straight away to Shinra.
[He says he's willing to give it to me if I arrive on time. This is so great!]
But Shinra did not share the same emotions and feelings as she. Instead, he slowly picked himself up from the couch and gave a sigh.
"Are you sure this is what you really want? I mean, isn't all this head-hunting business just a silly phase you're going through right now?"
Celty's inner cries of joy practically stopped in a second. Was he serious? A phase?
Had he practically ignored the fact she has been searching for twenty years?
Panicking and in a fluster of rage and frustration, she quickly typed out a response and shoved it in front of his face.
[A phase! This is my head we are talking about! As soon as I get it, we can be together without worrying about me suddenly dying or anything like that...]
Shinra's face remained firm and stoic. "Celty, we need to talk. I love you, but I don't think that this will work out when you get your head back. Think about it. What will you accomplish from getting it back? You're already human now. You don't need a head to prove it."
Celty couldn't believe what she was hearing. Either the fact she had no ears was finally getting to her or Shinra was trying to persuade her to give up her head.
[Shinra, please! My head means everything to me! All my memories, the lonliness without it... I can't bear to suffer without it anymore. I just want to remember who I was before this, even if it is a little bit... I just want to feel complete and know that I control my life, so I don't live in fear each moment of my life. Please try to understand.]
Shinra scoffed, much to Celty's surprise.
[Why are you acting this way, Shinra? Aren't you happy?]
"I don't want your head to be another thing to get in the way of our love. I know you told me before that even if you got your head back you would never leave me, but I can't ignore having the rising suspicion that the head may not have the same desire as you."
Celty knows how much Shinra wants their love to work out. She knows that he has a whole list of obstacles that stand in the way of their romance, from the fact that she may want to return to Ireland to live there one day, to even the people she shares connections to such as Izaya and Shizuo. To Celty, it seemed like the reason she couldn't do many things as she pleased was thanks to their 'love'. For Shinra, it was obsession that it come true. Celty loves him, but it was also scary at times.
[Shinra, I love you. And if you could just trust me, I promise that my head is no different to me. We share the same soul, so I'd love you regardless of whether I am headless or not.]
Shinra looked away from the screen, as if he had already set up his opinion in concrete.
"Fine then. You can choose. If you walk out the door right now you'll have nowhere to stay, and more importantly, no one to come home to. Celty, if you leave..." Shinra spoke, his voice becoming softer, "I don't want to be there for you anymore. I can't love you if you're like that."
Celty's heart (if she had one) stopped beating at that precise second. She loved Shinra. He accepted her without her head and now... now he was turning his back on her.
She'd always thought that when she got her head back Shinra and she would possibly ... "further" their relationship.
Because even if Shinra had wanted to do such an intimate thing even without her head, she felt it unfair for him. No face to kiss, no words of 'I love yous' to be spoken and whispered in his ear. She could do all these things now..! Yet, he didn't want this. He didn't want any of her.
He was repulsed by her.
Celty looked from her tinted visor at the man of her dreams, a man she could see in her futures, someone that loved her...
and the door.
And without another text of [I love You] or even a short [goodbye.] she mounted her bike and sped out the door.
Celty could barely contain the next outpour of tears coming from eyes, and was certain she would break into a sob, when she heard the familiar battle cry of him.
Escaping from her current dilemma and shoving it to the back of her mind, the girl swerved into the direction where she could clearly see clouds of smoke and blasts of explosions coming from.
It was going to be a long night.
If someone told you to translate Heiwajima Shizuo literally, it would be translated respectively as "peaceful island" and "serene man" literally.
How very wrong his parents were when they gave him such a name.
As his face was stained with more blood (whether it was his own or the enemies' he didn't really know) more bodies were sent flying, littering the once lonely and idle street.
How dare they! How dare they come up to him smelling of that bitter disgusting beer that everyone else was so crazy about (he much preferred his milk) and insult his bartender clothes! And one of the even had the nerve to tear off his fucking badass bowtie! It was no wonder they were all screwed for hell now.
"You want a fucking piece of me?" he roared, tearing out the once public property vending machine from the ground and throwing it at the mob of dumbass drunks.
Insults were yelled and public property was thrown as the once quiet little area became a mass destruction battlefield.
His muscles strained yet his determination and adrenaline flared to impossible levels as he pulled out a street light from the side of the pavement, swinging it around like the deadly weapon it was, taking down the countless dozens while it was at it.
He was about to smash the lamp down for an AoE (Area of effect move, he knows his RPG games) to flatten those motherfuckers, when a familiar and soothing presence entered the atmosphere.
Huffing as he pushed up his purple sunglasses, his stampede of rage was momentarily stopped.
Celty knew it would be brutal, but not this brutal.
Battered and beaten bodies soaked with blood were tossed carelessly around him, and blazing fire (she guessed he had pulled the 'throw the petrol cans' move again) circled him. In the middle he looked glorious, his muscles defined, blood dripping down his brow like a lone soldier in a battle.
She zoned in on his torn bowtie, and began piecing together what had ignited Shizuo's anger once again.
Of course, her cautious nature created a flutter and alarm of concern within her body as she spied how deep a gash in his side was, the wound looking raw and sore. Hopefully she had arrived in the final stages of his rage so he would calm down and would be willing to listen to logic much easier.
"Celty, what're you doing here?" He barked, not meaning to sound as harsh as it had come out.
Celty reached for her PDA, but stopped. She had a head. She had to get used to talking.
Slowly opening her mouth, she gingerly attempted to emit speech, but to no avail. It had been so long since she had last moved her lips, let alone blinked. It would take a bit of time to get used to it once more.
In a disappointed mood, she took out the PDA and typed away, before running up to him and placing the screen beneath his face.
[You need to stop this. We have to talk.]
Shizuo stood there blankly for a few seconds, registering what she had typed before giving a sigh, and muttering a "yeah" as he pushed up his shades and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Let's go." was all he said before tailing the Dullahan to a private place where they could talk.
The pair had chosen a park bench as their destination, each individual basking in the soft warm glow of the moonlight. Shizuo lit himself another cigarette while Celty pulled out a few bandages from her catsuit ('Seriously? Where does she keep those?' Shizuo thought curiously) to apply to his fresh wounds. Shinra had told her to always bring medical support equipment with her, especially since she, Shizuo and Izaya were a trio usually seen together. And they were not exactly the types to straighten out an argument (which were very frequent in Izaya's and Shizuo's cases) by just having a nice little talk.
"It's just fucking stupid, you know?" Shizuo confessed to her, wincing as she accidentally pressed on a bruise too hard. "I mean, they insulted and wrecked my clothes! The clothes my brother gave to me! If you hadn't come, I would've..." he trailed off and sighed once again that night, trying to get himself to relax as much as possible. Gently, Celty tried to button up his wrecked vest and do what little she could salvage with the bowtie, making him look as tidy as possible. Shizuo welcomed the gesture with appreciation.
"Anyway, I'm glad you came and that's all that matters. Now I heard you wanted to talk to me about something?" He asked her casually, exhaling another puff of smoke while he patiently awaited for her response.
Nervous fingers skated across the screen of her PDA. What if he didn't accept her like Shinra? What if he didn't want her anymore either as a friend?
[I...] she had typed, as he looked down into her lap, before she frantically backspaced. Again and again, she tried to explain herself, before resulting in the repeated sequence: her fingers hurriedly deleting her intended messages.
"Woah, calm down. Take it easy." Shizuo said, placing a hand on the exasperated woman's shoulder. He felt the tremor of her shoulders, she was shaking? No, she was trembling!
"Hey, it's gonna be alright. I'm sure if you need to tell me something, that it can't be that bad, right?" He offered gently, trying to soothe her. Something was wrong. Celty had never been shook up this badly before. And he was determined to be there for her every step of the way.
Because they're just good friends.
Just best friends.
Was he right? Because that was a question he has found he himself doubting.
Because that was a question he has found he himself doubting.
He notices the soft, fuzzy warm aura she radiates when she's around, the way she calms him down, the way the light illuminates her.
But he'll never bring himself to speak of it.
He just can't.
It takes a few moments before she hesitantly enters a message.
Suddenly Shizuo feels that familiar feeling he gets, the one he had experience just a few minutes ago. The calm before the storm, the final moments before a volcanic eruption, the steady surge of an upcoming tsunami. If Shinra had anything to do with the Dullahan's current state, the glasses wearing freak would have no worries about tomorrow.
Because rest assured, if he was responsible, the doctor would be dead tonight.
"What did he do to you?" he mutters darkly, his fingers clenching on her shoulder, the other hand balling up into a tight fist. "If he hurt you, I swear-"
Celty clasped her hands on his own, gently taking it off her shoulder and placing their hands in her lap, rubbing his softly.
[Please, don't worry about that! No matter what has happened, Shinra is still dear to me, like you.] (she added that final little part to make him feel better).
She hesitantly went on, a bit wavering in her choice on whether to reveal the truth.
[You... you trust me right? You're not... disgusted by me at all?] She had asked him, the tension building up within her.
Shizuo's eyebrows furrowed. "Of course not... we're friends, aren't we? (but something inside him told him no, we aren't just that or did he just wish they were more?) I mean, I'd accept you, I'll be there for you whenever you need me to be. Don't ever think about something as fucking stupid as that, okay?"
Celty nodded, feeling a tad relieved and a tad embarrassed. [Alright then... I know that when I first revealed I was headless, it was weird, but this is almost exactly the same... so, if you do by chance feel repulsed in any way, please tell me immediately.]
Shizuo nodded silently, his face furrowed in concentration. "I'm ready for anything."
Celty sighed. Slowly her hands reached up for her cat-like beloved helmet, and slowly she pulled it off.
Shizuo's eyes widened as his cigarette fell out of his mouth.
When she had told him to expect something different, he'd never of expected this.
He watched in pure awe and wonder as he saw soft locks of dusty reddish orange hair tumble out of the helmet, shaping a beautiful, heart shape face. But not even the hair, no matter how amazing it was, was as near as surprising or awe-striking as the face.
Her skin was illuminated by the moon, pale and flawless, her lips like soft pink cherry blossom petals and her eyes. God, her eyes. They were two clear, large aqua blue orbs, laced with long lashes. Looking into them was like staring at an endless pool of water.
What ruined the moment however were the tears coming out of her eyes, it wasn't right, to have something as ugly as those tears come from such a beautiful face.
Beneath the moon she was like some sort of nymph, sent down to enchant foolish men at night. Shizuo was no poet, but he'd become a damn fucking fine one if it meant he'd be writing sonnets about her. It was so beautiful, regardless of the small stitiches in her neck.
Those words resonated and echoed within his mind as he tried to comprehend the events unfurling before him.
He remembers that head, he recognises it from that girl with that crazy boyfriend who stuck a lot of pens in him, but before it wasn't anything special. It just looked out of place.
now he wasn't so sure. It looked transformed on her.
[I know... I look hideous, right?] she typed, holding it up to him so he was snapped from his reverie.
"No... not at all. You're... absolutely not, and don't you fucking forget it, you hear me?" he said softly.
[Thankyou, Shizuo. You are always so warm and inviting to me, it makes me glad.]
He merely smiled. "But what's the problem then? What did Shinra do?"
He wish he hadn't said that. Seeing the etheral, beautiful face of her's fall into despair made him want to stab a pen in himself (again).
[Shinra... he didn't want this. He didn't want me to get my head. He hated it. He hates me.] She wrote, looking sad.
He felt his teeth grind. That damn prick! How dare he!
[And now.. now I can't go back there. I can't live anywhere anymore. I'm scared.]
Shizuo didn't really think about his next actions, but he had made them and when Heiwajima Shizuo decides on something, by fuck's sake, whether it be rain or hail, he will fucking do it. Even if he has to break a few bones in the process.
"Fine then. It's decided. You're coming home with me." he stated firmly, grabbing one of her ebony-gloved hands in his own and tugging her towards him.
She seemed very confused, tears ceasing much to Shizuo's relief, typing up a quick message.
[What! But, that wouldn't be fair to you, and..]
"No buts! You're coming home with me, and that's final! I don't give a damn what that Shinra thinks, and I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks either. If anyone gets in my way, I am just going to fucking throw a vending machine at them!"
Celty sighed, before typing out another message. It was useless. She might as well make the trip easier while she was at it.
[Alright then. But we might as well take my horse while we're at it.]
Shizuo grinned in reply. "I like the way you think."
He vaguely pondered what she felt right now, as they sped through the lonely highway, their only companions the bats flying overhead and the small glow of the streetlights. Was she upset? He knows how much she loves Shinra, and for Shinra to do that to her... it made him want to bash a street sign into his skull. Subconciously, his grip tightened around Celty's waist, almost suffocating her. Thankfully, when she gets bruised it only lasts for a few moment before fading away, even if the pain remains for longer. As if sensing her discomfort, Shizuo muttered a quick "sorry" and loosened his grip, collecting his senses. Instead, he tried to focus on something else.
He noticed the warmth that radiated from her body. She'd told him before that she has no heart (his response was "Seriously? I thought you would have atleast a chance of one million percent of having a heart than that damn shit Izaya.") nor organs that serve a purpose nor blood for that matter so he'd expected her body to be pretty much like a corpse - cold and dead. But this Dullahan, this woman was as much as every ounce as he was when it came to living.
She moved, she talked (even if it was via text it felt as if she was talking to him using her voice, which gave him a thought - if she had her head, why wasn't she talking?) and she had emotions - she waved her hands in the air when she was getting impatient, she jabbed him in the stomach when necessary to scold him when he was irrational, she cocked her head when she was confused, she got angry and mad, just like him (that night when he and others received the text about the Dollars was a night he'll never forget, when Celty blazed through in a terrifying fury), she even trembled when she was upset and scared, just like tonight.
He growled again and tightened his grip, only to mutter another apology to the Dullahan as they swerved into his street.
"Sorry, it's not much, seeing as I break everything." Shizuo called out to her, as she shyly peered in from the doorway.
It was a slightly small yet cozy apartment, with a few pieces of furniture decorating the place. It wasn't exactly a page in those furniture catalogues she reads when she has nothing else to do, but it brought about a relaxing feel to her. She also made a mental note that there was no TV, and probably for a good reason too.
"Yeah, sorry about the whole television thing. It's just fucking annoying when I see those computer generated characters start to sing in annoying techno songs in high pitched voices when it's six am in the morning." he spoke, pouring himself a glass of milk while Celty quietly nodded her head in understanding.
"Are you coming in or not?" he asked her after some moments, while Celty, obviously flustered, hastily stepped inside. It wasn't as clinical as Shinra's. At this point she began to admire it and appreciate it more, the red couch, the shelf of CD's, but she couldn't help but get the vibe that within the room it was lonesome.
No pictures of family, besides a small one of his brother Kasuka of course, no plants, no anything. It was just his basic necessities and himself.
"About sleeping and stuff..." he added, feeling a flutter of relief as she seemed to accept the place as tolerable, "you can take my bed. I have a futon in my closet and some spare blankets and pillows or I can just crash on the couch. I can get my spare mattress from my old house later."
[Are you sure? I feel like I'm intruding...]
"It's fine, you don't have to worry about me. I invited you here anyway." he replied.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, as if she was considering on it, she typed in an answer.
[Thankyou so much Shizuo. Your home is wonderful.]
"Whatever," he mumbled, looking away to hide his pink cheeks, "if you don't need anything else, let's get you to your room."
As Celty settled into Shizuo's king sized bed (she guessed this was a present from his brother, as it had beautifully decorated silk sheets), she began to think over about what had happened today. She had had an argument with Shinra, ultimately breaking up with and leaving him, she had found her head after twenty years of searching, and she had moved in with Shizuo. Naturally, he probably had questions, but he must have decided to wait until tomorrow. That was what she liked about Shizuo - he didn't push her. He let her be her, let her do what she wanted. Well, except for move in with him, but now she was kinda glad he did.
Settling in to the comfort of the soft, smooth sheets, Celty closed her eyes for one of the first times in years and allowed herself rest.
And as she slept, she dreamt of the same dream she had dreamt those many nights ago, herself in the sweet nostalgic Ireland forests, her head in her hands.
She knew that this feeling of relief would be temporary, that it wouldn't last forever.
But that didn't matter.
At least, not yet.
A/N : So that's the end of the chapter ^^ I know, it seems like everything's speeding by a bit fast, but I swear the next chapters will resume to a normal pace. And Shizuo is meant to be attracted to her long before they even fall in love together, which is why he seems to be confused when he tries to come to terms with his feelings about her.
Please review ! The next chapter will be coming out shortly :D