Timeline: Future-fic, AU from the end of season 3.5 (probably)
Summary: Zoe never did listen to him, even when he really was in charge.
A/N: PWP in no way related to porn. Why? Because this is the kind of thing that goes through my head when I haven't slept in two days.
Beta: none.
Feedback: is a must!
Disclaimer: Not mine. I play with other people's toys.

- - - -

"No, Zoe."

"But Dad-"

"No, Zoe. When I let you switch you major to psychology, it was under the condition that you were not going to move back to Eureka and take responsibility for the mental state of this loony bin."

"Dad, you didn't let me do anything. I switched my major and then told you about it. I'm an adult now. You can't tell me what to do anymore."

"I never could. That's the problem. But I still remember telling you that you were not going to take over Beverly's old job. Hell, I don't want you even coming to the same state as this crazy place with that degree. Or with any degree!"

"So, what, you want me to live in a different state then my husband?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Lucas proposed to me and I said yes. And I'm not asking him to give up his job as Director of Robotics just because my dad thinks I'm still 16."

"He did what?"

"Lucas proposed to me. It was so romantic. He took me on a picnic and had Vince bake the ring into the Vinspresso-flavoured chocolate cake."

"You're not supposed to have coffee, Zoe. That goes for it being smuggled into cake, too."

"Dad, I'm 23. That no-coffee thing is just plain stupid now."

"Hey, I'm you father and if I say no coffee-"

"Then I'll ignore it and remind you that I'm an adult."

"Adults don't have purple hair."

"This one does. Now be quiet and listen to me. I am moving back to Eureka after I graduate and am going to be working for Dr. Blake. I won't be the only psychologist there. I'll be working under Dr. Cline and she's already got a handful of psychiatrists working for her. I won't be the only person responsible for Eureka's mental state."

"Taking into account everything I have to deal with on a daily basis, I'd say that your future boss is more than a little incompetent. Are you really sure that you want to work for someone that considers Fargo fit for duty?"

"Dad! I'm serious. I'm moving back to Eureka and aside from, like, blowing up the town before I get there, there's nothing you can do."

"Now there's an idea."

"Da-ad!"

"Well, maybe not me. I don't want my grandkids to have to visit me in prison. I just won't bother to save 'Doctor' Fargo from himself next time he does something stupid."

"Really? Grandkids?"

"Theoretical grandkids. Because along with drinking coffee, you're really not allowed to do the things that would cause me to have grandchildren."

"Right. Sure. I'm engaged and you still think I'm going to die with my hymen intact. You do realize that as of next month, I'm qualified to diagnose you with multiple fantastical delusions, possibly cause by-"

"Enough!"

Zoe giggled. "Are you really living in the fantasy world where your 23-year-old daughter hasn't had sex? Because I've already-"

"I don't need to hear it, Zoe."

"Fine. Whatever." She giggled again.

"I think I'm going to shoot Lucas next time I see him."

"Dad! Stop it. That's not funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be. If he's not here, you have no reason to risk your life just by being in the wacko town."

"You do it every day."

"That's different."

"Really? How do you figure that?"

"I'm your father. It's my right."

"Right. Okay, sure. Even going along with that crazy logic, how do you justify letting me live there with you for three years?"

"...I hate that you're smarter than me. And that Henry helped you escape."

"If he hadn't, then I never would have left Eureka to begin with."

"And I hate that you know you're smarter than me." He sighed. "You're really not going to listen to me? Even if I make it the last thing I ever ask of you?"

"Nope."

"Is there anyone I can blame for that?"

"Just you. And maybe Mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She's spent the last two years saying how even though I'm an adult, it's a good idea to have people who've survived their youth to give advice. And how it would be so much easier for me if when I decided to start a family, I was living close to my own. Oh, and-"

"You're mother wanted you to move back to Eureka?"

"Well, actually, I think she wanted me to move to LA with her when I graduated, but whenever she said that I should consider moving back 'home', I kept thinking about Eureka."

Jack sighed. "Why couldn't I have had a nice, obedient daughter who does what I say?"

"'Cause we're not from Little House on the Prairie?"

"I really hate that you're smarter then me. I should have locked you in the basement the first time you tried to run away."

"Dad, we lived in an apartment. We didn't have a basement."

"Right."

"So... you're coming to my graduation, right? You got the invitation and everything?"

"Yes, Zoe. Of course. I wouldn't miss it for anything."

"And Allison and Henry? And Jo?"

"Yes, Zoe."

"Really? That's so great! I wasn't sure if Jo could come. I mean, I know Eureka's not as dangerous as you seem to think, but I'm so glad you can both come!" She squealed and sounded exactly like his little girl who'd left the town years ago. "Wait, if you're both coming, who's gonna be in charge of the station?"

"Andy."

"The robo-cop who tried to take your job when Mansfield fired you?"

"Just for the day."

"Okay. Just so long as he doesn't try to run to become the Sheriff permanently again. He really sucked at it. Oh, and because I want you to keep the job." His daughter teased him.

"Right."

"So I'll see you there?"

"Not even genetically engineered, fire-breathing wild horses could keep me away."

"Great! Oh, and if you shoot Lucas, I'll still move back to Eureka, just to be a constant reminder that I'll never speak to you again."