Epilogue

Cailan's body was found when Neria, Loghain, and that stupid mangy dog returned to Ostagar. Despite Neria's pleas to leave the body where they found it, Loghain removed it and fed it to the wolves. One of whom bore a shocking resemblance to Morrigan.

Morrigan vanished past the Frostback mountains, without even leaving a forwarding address. This very much distressed Anora, who really wanted to meet her younger brother or sister.

Sten eventually returned home. He did not have his sword. He was sad. And was sometimes laughed at. Late at night, he sometimes cried.

Wynne's spirit regularly disapproved of Neria's actions. She tried very hard to nag at her from beyond the grave, yet failed despite her inspired efforts.

Cullen only came to Anora's re-coronation as a way of keeping an eye on Neria and possibly finding a way to get in his penance. He then went mad after the mages were freed and were allowed to do exactly what they wanted with each other or anyone foolish enough to enter their tower. After being forced to serve as Neria's personal slave for three solid days, he went mad, killed several apprentices, and escaped. It is said that he roams the land to this day, enforcing Neria's penance on anyone who reminds Cullen of the Hero of Ferelden.

Greagoir retired not long after the blight ended and established a nice memorial to Wynne with his BFF, Irving. For some reason, he appointed Cullen as his successor, perhaps because he was under the impression that a man who had been psychologically broken by two weeks of torment by desire demons was a good candidate for a highly stressful position.

Goldanna continued to live in squalor, despite that her younger half-brother was now king. She resented him greatly for it, particularly after she had to sell her oldest daughter to a brothel in order to feed her other four children. She also found the royal wedding write up to be depressing, as Alistair just wore Cailan's old armor, and Anora kept wearing that same stupid dress.

Shale was never reactivated. To this day, she pleads with people to download the DLC. After all, it came with the game and is free!

Isolde died. Which may be just as well, considering what happened to her beloved son.

Leliana killed many darkspawn, wrote wonderful epic poetry, and eventually found a woman who appreciated shoes as much as she does. They lived together happily until they were both old and had horrible bunions from the high heels. She was sad that she never got the chance to take Morrigan shopping in Orlais.

Teagan eventually married Kaitlyn. Or Bella. Or maybe both. He also gave Alfstanna lots to gossip about at the Gnawed Noble Tavern.

Branka continued her golem experiments, and eventually found new and even more creative ways of creating them. She also worked tirelessly to advance the position of women in the smith class. Prior to her, only 20% of working smiths were female, while now, due to her influence, 40% are!

Oghren continued to drink. Even darkspawn blood. He got a little out of control, but kind of settled down once he married someone less demanding than Branka.

Zathrian died, as did most Dalish elves. No one is that sorry about their deaths, other than Velanna.

Zevran avoided the temptation to help people get a clear shot at Neria during her victory parade and eventually returned to Antiva. There he realized that most Crows were kind, loving sorts, and that maybe he had judged them too harshly. He also felt very, very sorry for killing Talesin, who in retrospect, he loved almost as much as Rinna. In fact, memories of Rinna faded as he returned to Antiva and suddenly found himself far less fascinated by pretty elven maidens with a penchant for murder.

Anora and Alistair presided over a golden age. People loved them, mostly because they were pretty and blonde. Also, unlike Maric, Alistair never ran off to quest rather than run the country and never impregnated any elves or serving girls, which in the eyes of the country, made him a great king. The two rebuilt Ferelden and seemed to tolerate each other fairly well. Plus, with Anora's guidance, Alistair never again showed up at an important event naked, which made him a much better ruler than Cailan ever was. Alistair took great pride in the health and well being of his family, while Anora joyfully rebuilt Ferelden, developed trade, and eventually established the university of her dreams. The existence of Theirin offspring unfortunately made her unable to found a constitutional republic, which depresses her to this day, and makes her wonder why she didn't just use birth control. All the same, both Alistair and Anora were fairly contented with their lives, and realized that while it was hardly a match made in heaven, both could have done much worse.

Ser Cauthrien eventually confronted Loghain over his desire to talk to Neria. When she learned that he truly only wanted to talk, she forgave him. And continues in her quest to convince Ferelden women to pursue non-traditional-feminine-occupations.

Howe died. This made his children very sad, especially Nathaniel, who was hoping for a shot with Anora if Howe and Loghin succeeded.

Dog followed Loghain around until the end of his days, giving the best of his dog love to the man he decided to imprint upon. He also fathered many splendid puppies.

Loghain was sent to Orlais, which he hated, despite that it got him away from Neria. Luckily, Neria abandoned her post at Amaranthine after two years, at which point he was called back to help out. He was delighted, as Amaranthine was close enough to Denerim that he could regularly visit his grandchildren and micro-manage his daughter's life. Eventually he and Alistair became OK about spending holiday dinners together, although he had to admit that he would have far preferred Nathaniel Howe as a son-in-law.

Eamon died in a horrible tragedy. Most observers thought that a wild animal must have killed him, considering how badly torn apart his body was. Although no one could figure out how a wild cat had gotten into his estate at Denerim. Or what kind of wild animal would have left little footprints in blood about his room. Or what sort would have written, "In your face, Arl Eamon! I am ridiculously awesome!" on the walls of the room he died in in what appeared to be his blood. Many pressed the queen to investigate, but she insisted that the Arl's death was due to natural causes.

And as for Neria? Well, Neria continued to travel and to use her status as the hero of Ferelden to score free drinks in bars and to pick up the cutest people she encounters. She is very happy, and continues to be ridiculously awesome.

So we've reached the end! At least of this fic.

As you may have noticed, there will be others. Some funny (i.e. 95% of my kink meme fills), some will be less funny (i.e. challenge fics and that last 5% of kink meme fill). Feel free to check them out if so inclined. I'll probably also eventually reclaim my senses and write original fic again. The current piece (aka demon at a sci-fi convention), is fairly goofy. If you're interested in reading it/betaing it/just seeing what weirdness I can come up with, feel free to PM me.

On a completely and totally unrelated note, thank you all for your support and encouragement. If when I started this insane and hare-brained project, someone had told me that I would write 50K words on a nymphomaniac, psychopathic Grey Warden, I would have laughed. I would have laughed even harder at the idea that this fic would merit nearly 400 reviews. Like, that totally shocks me. Even more than that I stuck with this for so long.

So I want to thank all of my reviewers yet again. You're the reason that I didn't just give up somewhere around Lothering and decide that this really was a joke that only I was getting. So thank you. Thank you again. You have my sincerest and most heartfelt thanks. (And, no, I really am not being snarky there!) Thanks again to: whiteriversnake, ArtemysFayr, bioncafemme, Crazy4DA, Jormund, thecrazinessinme, ElaineMc, shootingstar, gaj, kulyok, Lyna, Rivman, alrock, Arsinoe, spotted bunny, Prisoner, Nowshin, ginganinja, scampermax, Lollytron, starowner, demonicnargles, badculture, milulu, Victoria, Enaid, Piceron, Sarah, Eva, Jenn, KimSmith, Draguna, retroswimsuit, Jessica, demonsshade, papillon, Holly, Lehni, Interesting, Meiran, Boredinclass, Golden Echo, Yashiro, Nithu and roxfox!