Ok this story if dedicated to Joelle, and it's JJ/Reid (my first one of their stories) because she likes them as a couple.
Disclaimer: What? Oh right... yea I don't own it.
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." – JK Rowling.
JJ sighed a defeated sigh, as she slumped back into her chair and looked around her office slowly, taking in every nook and cranny of the place, for what she felt was the last time.
It wasn't actually the last time, but she had done something today that ensured that the last time wasn't far off... she'd handed in her resignation from the BAU, now all she had to do was her two week's notice and she was gone... for good.
She shook these thoughts out of her head as quickly as they'd come in, and she pulled a file towards her, knowing that work would help take her mind of things.
She didn't get to work for long however, as she'd just managed to turn the page on the file, when there was three loud bangs on the outside of her door, and then, seconds later, Reid stormed into the room, looking angrier than she ever remembered seeing him before, even when he was on drugs.
"What the hell JJ?" He shouted, his voice sounding vulnerable and weak despite the rage that blazed in his eyes.
"What do you mean Spence?" She asked, slightly taken aback by the fact that Spencer Reid of all people had just barged into her office and started shouting.
"Don't play dumb with me Jennifer." He shouted again, the use of her given name rather than JJ shocking her to the core for some reasons she couldn't quite explain. "Emily told me!" He added, as a tear escaped his reddened eyes.
It then clicked with JJ that Emily must have told Reid that she'd resigned... her and Garcia being the only people other than Hotch that knew about it... she hadn't even told Will yet.
"Spence, I'm sorry, I just needed a change." She replied lamely, feeling her body tense up as she spewed out the lie to his face... it was ok lying to others about her reasoning, but for some reason it hurt her to have to lie to Reid.
"Then take a month off!" Reid exclaimed. "Or, or, go on a holiday! But why leave the BAU? Why leave the team? Why leave me?" He asked her, his words becoming increasingly more like a whisper as he spoke, until she had to strain to hear his last statement.
"I... it's..." JJ stammered, trying to think of a decent excuse to tell him, because she wasn't able to admit the truth... not even to herself. "I'm just not enjoying the job as much as I used to." She told him, only half lying with her reason.
"JJ, no one enjoys this job... if we did there'd be something wrong with us, we do this for the innocent lives we save, and for the knowledge that the world is a safer place thanks to us, so don't tell me that!" Reid pleaded with her. "Why can't you see the bigger picture? Why can't you see what this will do to the team... to our family?" He shouted, as tears glistened in his eyes.
As his words sank in, the cool, calm exterior of Jennifer Jareau began to crack, as five years of frustration towards the man in front of her began to escape from the box she kept it in, and leak out through every pour in her body like a poison.
"For fuck sakes Spencer, do you not think I've looked at the bigger picture?" She screamed. "Do you not think that I've spent hours agonising over this decision? I love this job, this job completes me, and makes me feel happy and fulfilled, and I love our family as well, I love their unique personalities, and all the fun we have together... but this job is also tearing me apart, it's tearing down the walls of my life, and I can' cope with that anymore... something has to give, so it gave!" She screamed louder, hot burning tears escaping her eyes as she made her admission.
"What do you mean?" Reid whispered in shock after a long awkward pause, in which JJ furiously wiped away her tears and took ten deep breaths, obviously trying to calm down.
"What do I mean?" JJ replied, barking out a bitter laugh as the words rolled off her tongue. "What I mean Spence, is that my fiancé barely speaks to me, and we've been sleeping in separate beds for two months. Hell I don't even thing you can call us a couple anymore." She spat out bitterly.
"Then end it." Reid told her, as if it was just that simple.
"I can't..." JJ admitted slowly, looking Reid in the eye. "He's Henrys dad... I don't want my son to grow up without a father." She told him, letting tears escape again, only this time they were tears of sadness rather than anger.
"But you shouldn't have to give up this job... If Will loves you, then he should accept that this job is part of who you are." Reid told her quietly, a pleading look in his eye.
"It's not the job though Spence." JJ choked out as her tears became heavier.
"Then what... tell me JJ please." He pleaded as he stepped closer.
"You..." She whispered, giving a defeated sigh.
"What did you say?" Reid asked in shock, wondering if it was his imagination playing tricks on him, making him hear something that wasn't said, purely because it's what he'd wanted to be true since the Redskins game five years ago.
"You heard me." JJ told him. "It's you, it always has been you." She sighed.
"But I... How?" Reid spluttered, his large brain not being able to comprehend what she was telling him.
"It's always been you Spencer Reid." She repeated, stepping closer. "Ever since you walked down to me on the jet five years ago and asked me to the Redskins game, it's been you. I wanted something to happen so badly, but then Elle told me about what happened at Lila Archer's house, in the pool so... so I gave up... I figured you seen us as friends, and after a few months I managed to trick myself into believing that was fine with that, and so I moved on. It was so easy as well... I mean Will was handsome, funny, charming... he wasn't you, but then Spencer, nobody is quite like you, so I figured I'd give myself and Will a chance, a chance at happiness... I didn't know I'd get pregnant, but when I did, you were the first person who came to mind as godfather, probably because subconsciously I wanted you to be the father instead. Anyway, when Henry came, things were fine for a while... but after six months Will changed. Old habits die hard I guess, because every night after work he'd drink, in a pub, or just at home in front of the TV, and things went downhill from there." She confessed, as yet more tears escaped her raw eyes.
"I'm so sorry JJ." Reid told her, as he closed the gap between them, pulling her into a warm, comforting hug.
"It was then that I started to remember." JJ continued as her head rested against his shoulder. "I remembered how I loved you, and after a month or so it hit me... I never stopped loving you, I just stopped admitting that I did... and I have the ability Spencer... I have the ability to keep working with you like I don't feel this way, pretending that my heart doesn't speed every time you walk into a room, and that it doesn't skip a beat at the simplest brushing of our shoulders, but I chose not to... because it's damaging me, because every time my heart skips a beat my brain reminds it that you don't feel the same, and then a little part of my heart breaks off... and there's not many more pieces left to be broken Spence." She whispered.
Once Reid was sure that she'd finished talking, he pulled her away from his shoulder and looked her dead in the eye, his eyes penetrating deep into her soul.
"Jennifer, what you just said... about how I didn't love you back... not true." He confessed.
"What?" JJ replied, as a ripple of shock moved through her body.
"I love you Jennifer Jareau, I've loved you since the day you joined this team, I've always loved you, with every fibre of my being and nothing, I repeat nothing, ever has, or ever will change that." He told her sternly. "Lila Archer? Think about it Jen, she was blonde, with blue eyes... guess who I pretended she was when I kissed her. I thought exactly the same about you wanting to only be friends, I was too shy to make the first move, so when you didn't I thought you didn't want to, so I tried to move on as well. Lila was a rebound, but I honestly don't know what I was thinking, because sure she was pretty, but she didn't have your smile, or your humour, or your laugh that can make my heart skip a beat... she doesn't have the ability to light up a room like you do, and most importantly, she doesn't own my heart... you do." He confessed.
It was then that JJ smiled, that full, bright smile that sent Reid weak at the knees every time he saw it, and he knew what he had to do next.
He placed a hand at the back of her head, tangling it with her hair, and he pulled her head up as he leant his down, and they met in the middle, their lips crashing together and they both felt it, as all the tension, the suffering, and the hidden feelings, that had built up over the last five years vacated their body's, and as Reid trailed his tongue across JJ's lip, begging her to deepen the kiss, which she obliged to hungrily, they both felt different feeling swoop in on them... love, and happiness.
They stayed like this until their oxygen levels became dangerously low, and when they finally separated, they leant their foreheads together, supporting each other.
"I love you Jennifer Jareau." Reid whispered once his breathing returned to normal.
"I love you too Spencer Reid." JJ replied happily, before leaning up and kissing the top of his nose.
"Are you still going to leave?" He asked sadly after a moment.
"I'll ask Hotch if it's too late to take back my resignation tomorrow morning." JJ replied with a loving smile.
"Good." Reid told her as he leant down and captured her lips again briefly, this time in a softer kiss.
"I need to go now." JJ said after a moment, pulling away from Reid reluctantly.
"Why?" Reid asked as he put on his best puppy dog eyes.
"Because I have to talk to Will... and I think I owe him to do that as soon as possible." JJ informed Reid with a sad smile.
"Come to my place after, bring Henry as well." Reid told her, as he gave her one last hug before she made her way to the door.
"I will." JJ replied, before smiling happily at the man in front of her, who had changed her life in the space of ten minutes.
Reid smiled back and watched her leave, smiling to himself as he watched her go, marvelling at the fact that she'd managed to change his life in the best way possible, in the space of ten minutes.
As JJ made her way to her car, and Reid made his way back to his desk to pack up, the same thought crossed their minds almost at the exact same time... five years, and it took a fight to make them fall in love.
Ta, Da! My first JJ/Reid story (you better like it Joee), so don't be too harsh! Tell me what you thought. =)